“If not that way.”
Dowon paused for a moment. As if gauging whether he should say this.
In the darkness, he could feel his gaze wavering. No, it seemed like he felt it. Because he wanted it to be so, desperately.
“I can give you a little attention.”
“…What?”
“If it’s occasionally.”
Yeohwi’s head jerked up. He almost jumped up from that spot.
He could see Dowon’s black eyes quietly gazing in the darkness. Those smooth and deep eyes without any light.
Although there was no soft affection or drawn-in heat, it was a gaze wholly directed at him for the first time.
‘Attention? Really?’
Of all people, Dowon-ssi…?
It wasn’t the whisper of an affectionate lover like what he saw in his dream, nor was it earnestly boiling, burning physical skinship. But for Yeohwi right now, that alone was more than enough permission.
“…Yes.”
Yeohwi exhaled the breath he’d been holding and barely managed to answer.
His heart pounded so fiercely it seemed like it would burst through his ribcage. Joy? Elation? No, those words weren’t enough. This was a sharp and thrilling shiver that only a young man suffering from the fever of first love could feel, ringing piercingly from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.
The sensation climbing up his spine was so intense that his fingertips tingled. A dizzying floating feeling as if jumping from a high place. All the fine hairs on his body stood on end backward, and the blood flowing through all his veins seemed to bubble like carbonated water.
“Yes, th-that’s good. Yes…”
Uncontrollable excitement heated both his cheeks.
It was extremely fortunate it was dark.
If the lights had been on, his face burning red like a ripe peach would have been discovered.
“Go to sleep.”
Dowon turned around indifferently, not knowing of Yeohwi’s heart making a violent commotion. But this time, Yeohwi didn’t hold him back either.
Because just capturing his retreating figure with his eyes was already more than enough.
Even after the door closed and Dowon’s footsteps faded away, Yeohwi sat blankly on the bed for a long time. He raised his trembling hand and pressed down hard on his left chest. The pulse transmitted through his palm was fast and strong like a broken machine.
“I must be crazy…”
He bit his lower lip hard to swallow the scream that was about to burst out.
It was just one phrase that meant nothing.
And even that was a stingy alternative with unclear conditions like ‘a little’ and ‘occasionally.’
Yet, at that indifferent phrase, he felt overwhelmed as if he had gained the whole world.
Yeohwi pulled the blanket over his head and buried his heated face deep into the pillow. He was told to sleep, but it seemed he absolutely wouldn’t be able to fall asleep tonight. The kindling that would burn the long night pure white kindled flames in his chest.
Dowon’s indifferent voice kept echoing in his ears.
An uncontrollable smile spread across his lips.
***
Noon. Warm sunlight penetrated deep into the bedroom.
Yeohwi lazily opened his eyes. His body, which had been heavy like wet cotton for days, was light as if it were a lie. The sweat he poured out and the sleep he generously replenished washed away the heat, leaving only refreshment now.
“Aaaah.”
Yeohwi stretched and rolled around on the wide bed.
The king-size bed he used alone was still vast, and the empty space beside him was still the same. It should have been lonely, but at least not today.
Because it seemed like the voice Dowon left behind in the darkness last night was still beside him. Thanks to that, even on the empty bed he could feel his lingering presence, and a corner of his heart swelled warmly.
Having regained his energy, he even finished showering in the bathroom before coming out. The face reflected in the mirror also had its color returned pale and healthy.
From the stairway landing going down to the first floor, a delicious smell wafted. Even before entering the dining room, he could hear footsteps running quickly.
“Oh my, young master!”
Mrs. Park, who discovered Yeohwi, approached him with delight. She wiped her wet hands on her apron and examined Yeohwi’s face first.
“How are you feeling? What about your fever? Are you dizzy anywhere?”
“I’m fine now, ajumma. I’m really completely better like I’ve been washed clean. I’m incredibly hungry too.”
Yeohwi deliberately rubbed his stomach and smiled brightly. At that smile, Mrs. Park sighed in relief and carefully brushed Yeohwi’s back.
“Good heavens, thank goodness. Really thank goodness. You don’t know how worried I was…”
“You must have been very surprised… I won’t do it again.”
“Oh my, sit down quickly. So you can regain your energy, young master, I went to the market from dawn and selected only the best ingredients.”
“Wow, really? Thank you, ajumma.”
“What thanks. When you’re healthy, young master, I’m happy too, and this house brightens up. Please eat quickly.”
The meal Mrs. Park prepared was truly devotion itself. Glossy abalone porridge with steam rising, clear seaweed soup boiled to not burden the stomach, and low-sodium side dishes neatly served in brassware.
Yeohwi emptied the bowls so cleanly it was hard to believe he was someone who had starved for days.
With a full stomach, leisure seeped into his heart.
Yeohwi buried himself in the fluffy sofa in the living room and looked at the garden spreading beyond the large window.
The sky after the rainy season ended was painfully blue as if paint had been dissolved in it, and the trees in the garden sparkled, showing off their greenery to the fullest. It was peaceful. Just quietly looking at the natural scenery like this, a natural curiosity suddenly bloomed.
‘Dowon-ssi… I wonder if he had lunch?’
The clock hands on the wall had just passed 1 PM.
‘What is he doing now?’
Looking closely, it seems like he only works every day.
‘Are all adults like that originally? Not sleeping, not eating, going to work every day with a tired face and only working? Is that what being an adult is? How pitiful.’
He was curious.
He tried to endure it, but it was a failure. He was insanely curious.
While he was resting with a full stomach and warm back like this, wasn’t he perhaps busy today too on an empty stomach after only drinking a cup of strong coffee?
‘Really, the person who should collapse isn’t me, but that stiff workaholic Dowon-ssi.’
Yeohwi slyly picked up his cell phone. And he manipulated the screen to open the text message window with Dowon.
He could see the remnants of one-sided courtship that had been miserably ignored.
The number 1 was still there. Of course, there was no reply either. That empty space poked at Yeohwi’s chest repeatedly.
‘Hmm…’
His fingers, lost in thought, hesitated in the air.
Is it okay to contact him? What if I get ignored again? What if he finds me annoying? He said only occasionally. Maybe now isn’t that timing. Maybe I should be more cautious. Am I being too clingy right now? What if Dowon-ssi changes his mind and takes back what he said?
‘Aaaah.’
Thousands of worries circled in his head.
But his burning passion toward Dowon overcame the tangled hesitation.
With a ‘to hell with it’ feeling, Yeohwi squeezed his eyes shut and typed a message.
Did you have lunch? I had abalone porridge. I’m really all better now, so don’t worry. Of course Dowon-ssi must be busy working too, but… don’t skip meals and make sure to eat something delicious. They say if you only drink coffee on an empty stomach, you’ll get a hole in your stomach. That would be terrible. It’s hard to take the stomach out from inside the belly and stitch it up… and it would hurt… so please make sure to eat your meals on time!!
14:32
Transmission complete.
To hell with it.
Yeohwi threw the phone into a corner of the sofa like an unknown stone. He didn’t expect a reply anyway. He might be in a serious meeting right now, and he wouldn’t have time to look at his phone. Even if he didn’t read it, it was good just to have sent it with his heart.
Hugging a white square cushion, Yeohwi looked out the window again and focused on the scenery.
The wind is blowing…
The clouds are flowing…
It’ll get cold soon…
Bzzt.
Just then, a short vibration sound cut through the quiet living room.
Yeohwi’s eyes whipped around.
‘No way. It can’t be.’
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15:06
‘Damn it.’
He pressed the screen repeatedly to block the spam message. To think illegal gambling dens like this still run rampant. This couldn’t be left alone. It deserved to be punished severely.
30 minutes later.
Bzzt.
‘This time?’
His heart sank. Yeohwi hurriedly picked up the phone and checked the screen.
