【07. Realization】
Chaehun’s eyes, transformed into triangular slits, were screaming at him to get lost. However, since he hadn’t spoken the words aloud, they didn’t get through to the other party.
Seunggeon looked at the large guy picking a fight with Chaehun. Yoon Jongsu. He was the typical thug you’d commonly see during school days. Big build, loud voice, decent at both fighting and studying, and a guy who relied on his family background to play the school bully.
If you really had to categorize them, Yoon Jongsu and Chaehun were something like bitter rivals. Especially since Yoon Jongsu unilaterally picked fights with Chaehun. His reason was that Chaehun got on his nerves. Chaehun, who got along well with friends all around, only kept his distance from Yoon Jongsu’s gang in the entire class.
Not long after they became second-years, Yoon Jongsu had once dropped Chaehun’s pencil case and then stepped on it with his foot. Seunggeon, who had transferred after summer vacation ended, wasn’t there at the time, but everyone said that much was just a simple accident.
However, Yoon Jongsu didn’t apologize and passed it off, and when Chaehun protested, he got angry instead, saying “How much could that thing even cost?” and their relationship fell apart. After that, Yoon Jongsu’s displeasure with Chaehun had continued throughout the entire year.
At the time, Seunggeon had let it slide. It was because Yoon Jongsu didn’t severely bully Chaehun so much as there was an atmosphere of power struggles between classmates who didn’t get along.
But looking back on the memories now, Seunggeon suspected that Yoon Jongsu had been trying to get Chaehun’s attention. No, it wasn’t suspicion but certainty. Like an immature child bullying someone they liked.
Chaehun was the type who was popular with guys like that. He had a slender face with fair skin and dark eyes. He looked like an indifferent cat, but when he smiled, the atmosphere changed. He was outgoing, blended well into any atmosphere, and took care of people inconspicuously. That’s why weird guys like Yoon Jongsu latched onto him.
Chaehun consistently ignored Yoon Jongsu. No matter what he babbled about beside him, Chaehun didn’t engage in long conversations. So Yoon Jongsu got even more aggravated and the vicious cycle of picking fights continued.
Today was no different. As Chaehun was quietly eating lunch, Yoon Jongsu kicked the chair leg as he passed by, making him spill his rolled omelet. When Chaehun glared at him, he said sorry while giggling, asking if he was really glaring over something so petty.
At that moment, Seunggeon seriously considered using his family’s power to get rid of Yoon Jongsu. He could pressure the school foundation, or if not that, there were methods to directly strike at Yoon Jongsu’s family or Yoon Jongsu himself.
It wasn’t something an ordinary high school student would think of, but that’s what he’d seen and learned growing up, so he didn’t feel much guilt about it. Until now, Yoon Jongsu had kept to a reasonable line, so he’d just been watching to see what would happen. Recently, Yoon Jongsu had been crossing that line.
“Fuck. Don’t make a scene while people are eating and get lost.”
The one who stepped up to protect Chaehun was Nam Taeho. Nam Taeho was just as big as Yoon Jongsu and quite good at physical fights too. When he stepped in, the situation of Yoon Jongsu reluctantly backing down would repeat itself.
“Shitty bastards hanging out together. I’m leaving. Let’s go.”
After spewing curses one more time, Yoon Jongsu disappeared with his gang. Chaehun, who had stopped eating, smiled while grinding his teeth.
“Ah, seriously, I can’t even beat him up.”
“If you do, you’ll go to jail.”
“I wish our school taught taekwondo as a school sport too. So I could hit him legally.”
When Seo Jumyeong stopped him, Chaehun smiled and said he wanted to hit him legally. Chaehun was the type who smiled more the angrier he got. Then when he got really angry, he’d turn cold.
Seunggeon knew that Chaehun was aiming for the National Police University and that he’d been learning martial arts for a long time. But he didn’t think Chaehun could beat up Yoon Jongsu like he claimed. Kids’ fights were all the same anyway.
However, the present-day Seunggeon knew. He knew just how much the Chaehun from 10 years ago had held back. Chaehun had practically flown during his fight with Park Gwangho.
“It’s because you’re small, so you’re an easy target.”
“Hey. Why are we suddenly talking about height?”
“It’s true though. If you were as big as me, Yoon Jongsu couldn’t pick fights with you. But you eat so much, I don’t know where it all goes.”
The one teasing Chaehun was Nam Taeho. Not only Seunggeon, but Nam Taeho and Seo Jumyeong had already passed 180cm. Among the four who hung out together, Chaehun was the smallest.
“What do you mean I’m small? You guys are the ones who are big. I’ll catch up soon. No, I’ll grow even taller. I’ll build muscle too. Just watch.”
In the winter of their second year, Chaehun’s height was just a bit short of 175cm. Saying that even officer-level police needed to be well-built, Chaehun was as sensitive about his height as his grades. As Seunggeon watched Chaehun chew his rolled omelet like iron bars, he couldn’t bring himself to say that he wasn’t the type to build muscle. Since he didn’t have the power to see the future, he also couldn’t make the prophecy that even 10 years later, he wouldn’t reach 180cm.
All he did was put one of his rolled omelets onto Chaehun’s tray. Chaehun particularly loved rolled omelets.
“Wow. Giving up your rolled omelet. I can feel the love. Love. If you’re going to comfort someone, do it like this. Not just with words.”
Chaehun, who declared that comfort should be material, looked at Seunggeon and smiled brightly. Chaehun, who looked sharp enough to make cold wind blow when he kept his mouth shut, shone as brilliantly as summer sunlight when he smiled.
*
*
Seunggeon blinked his eyes. For a moment, he was confused whether he was awake or dreaming. Dreams of recovering memories were always like this. Along with a throbbing headache, it felt like floating in the air and wandering somewhere. From several experiences, he knew that rather than trying to move forcibly, he should accept the memories that surfaced.
It was a memory from the winter of his second year. It was a very brief moment among the lost four years of memories. Despite being insignificant content, the memory he retraced while observing from his current standpoint seemed special.
The reason he remembered Yoon Jongsu, whom he’d completely forgotten until now, was obvious. It was because Park Gwangho’s appearance overlapped with Yoon Jongsu’s. Both were big, stupid guys who picked fights to get Chaehun’s attention.
Yoon Jongsu kept picking fights until the very end, then left to study in America not long after winter vacation of their second year started. Seunggeon didn’t even need to do anything himself. Chaehun laughed saying it was great, and that was the end of the connection with Yoon Jongsu.
And Park Gwangho was still ongoing. But unless he was a complete idiot, he’d try to save his own skin.
“Stupid bastards.”
Seunggeon clicked his tongue lightly and turned his body toward where he heard breathing. Chaehun, with his gentle-looking face, was curled up facing this direction, asleep. Chaehun usually had sharp features, but when he fell asleep, he became defenseless.
Seunggeon quietly looked at Chaehun. It was not long after sunrise. Thanks to the half-open blackout curtains, the bedroom interior was appropriately bright and it wasn’t difficult to make out Chaehun’s face.
Neat forehead and eyebrows, thick and long eyelashes, well-shaped nose bridge and lips. For a thirty-year-old man, Chaehun had delicate lines. To the cheerfulness of his high school days, a sense of poignancy had been added. The contents inside were a violent beast, but maybe because his appearance was so neat, weird guys latched onto him.
He never imagined he’d meet Chaehun at a club. The report stated that Chaehun’s private life was quite dull. He only knew about home, the hospital, the gym, and the dojo. One of his hobbies was borrowing books from the library to read—a model citizen kind of guy.
So it had seemed strange what he was doing in a place rife with alcohol and drugs. Chaehun didn’t seem to be enjoying the club atmosphere and appeared to be wandering around aimlessly. And quite a few people approached Chaehun like that.
The peak was after Chaehun knocked down Park Gwangho. Everyone gathered on the second floor cheered. While everyone was saying something about how it was a short but high-level battle, Sunny blatantly said she liked Chaehun.
It was the same when Chaehun downed the whiskey in one gulp. Just like Park Gwangho, Sunny also had quite a personality. It was one thing that he was popular with weird people—he could accept that. However, going around covered in all kinds of pheromone scents was nothing short of unpleasant.
Usually, alphas would layer their pheromones on omegas as a way of showing possessiveness and ownership. Since Chaehun was a beta, he was nonchalant without being aware of it. On the other hand, to Seunggeon, it was as if Chaehun was going around with foul odors on his body. When he was with Chaehun, scents and tastes returned, but the pheromone scents still remained nauseating.
“Tch.”
Seunggeon frowned hard as he recalled the pheromone scents that had assaulted his nose—Park Gwangho’s and Sunny’s mixed with others he couldn’t identify.
The nauseating smells did disappear cleanly when washed off. Still, he didn’t like the pheromones getting on Chaehun in the first place. If he were an omega, Seunggeon could have covered him with only his own scent. But Chaehun was a beta. And a beta with an unusual constitution at that.
“Unusual constitution…”
Seunggeon thought about his connection with Chaehun. The problem started when he mistook Chaehun for an omega because of his constitution and formed an imaginary imprint. Because of that, he’d lived under many restrictions. But if he hadn’t received Chaehun’s help at the moment of the kidnapping, he wouldn’t be alive right now.
If he really had to categorize it, his feelings toward Chaehun resembled a love-hate relationship. Rationally, he knew he should be grateful, but emotionally, resentment arose with thoughts of “if only it hadn’t been him.” And possessiveness was mixed in there.
Seunggeon knew his own feelings precisely. He was the type who cherished his possessions. He kept familiar belongings for a long time. Saying he cherished people like objects was presumptuous, but as long as Chaehun served as a remedy, he needed to be controlled by Seunggeon’s hand. If he went off on his own whims, it would only create openings.
As Seunggeon recalled the complicated human relationships surrounding him, he frowned and closed his eyes. The throbbing headache grated on his nerves. Recovering memories wasn’t always a good thing. His head screamed as if overloaded.
Painkillers weren’t much use at times like this. As he waited for the annoying headache to subside, he suddenly caught a pleasant scent. He realized a bit late that it came from the breath of Chaehun lying facing him.
