Without a moment’s hesitation, a firm refusal came back. Chaehun, who had asked with goodwill, was instantly embarrassed. Even with the same words, the feeling differs depending on how you say them. In that sense, Seunggeon left no room. He already knew this, but it hurt quite a bit.
“Your words are so sharp, I feel like I’ll get cut sometimes.”
“I said it gently. Just like you said.”
“That was? How were you originally going to say it?”
“Don’t presumptuously step up. Like that.”
“Definitely… you softened it.”
Chaehun answered awkwardly. Seunggeon would occasionally speak as if stabbing with an awl made of ice. Just now was like that too, and that was the softened version.
“Jumyeong, Taeho, and Yujin—matching their names and faces is all. Even if I meet them, there’s nothing to talk about.”
Seunggeon’s explanation was calm and cold, and in the end, Chaehun could only nod his head. Certainly, if there were no memories, meeting face to face itself wouldn’t be comfortable.
“Sorry. My thinking was short.”
“Just because I have no memory doesn’t mean it’s uncomfortable.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
At the words that having no memory wasn’t uncomfortable, Chaehun was a little surprised. He wondered what it would be like for him, but since he hadn’t directly experienced it, he couldn’t know.
“Then how much memory do you have of me? You said almost none of your memory came back, right?”
With a just-in-case feeling, Chaehun carefully asked. He’d said he had no memory of about three years before the accident. If he wasn’t in his memories, even if they met face to face, they’d be like strangers. If only the memory of trying to kiss his cheek existed, it would be embarrassing.
As he stared expecting an answer, Seunggeon opened his mouth a beat late.
“You trying to kiss me and then stopping.”
“Hey. Besides that.”
“Getting hit by a soccer ball and getting a nosebleed, not getting along with Yoon Jongsu, not taking cold medicine on time and dozing off during class. During the physical examination, your height…… Hm?”
“I know. I know. That’s enough.”
Seunggeon, who had been speaking matter-of-factly, tried to mention the word height and briefly gauged Chaehun’s reaction. Chaehun quickly stopped Seunggeon’s words. Height was what Chaehun had been most sensitive about during high school. He’d fought desperately with friends over it.
This was what you called embarrassing. He had no idea why, of all the lost memories, he’d recovered things like that. His whole face felt hot. On top of that, when Seunggeon faintly smiled, he got choked up.
“I also remember you saying you’d surpass my height.”
“Are you teasing me?”
“It’s all true though.”
“I know you’re smiling.”
“Because your reaction is funny.”
“See.”
As they were childishly bickering like that, Seunggeon’s phone rang. After checking the caller, Seunggeon excused himself briefly and left his seat. Left alone, Chaehun looked for water and drank it.
“Really…… Why does he only remember things like that?”
It was suspicious that he’d lost his memory, but still, in the end, laughter came out. From 10 years ago, and although it was dark history, having memories they could share together was special.
When Seunggeon came back, he wanted to ask if he remembered not knowing how to open a triangular kimbap. Back then, that guy who had no gaps was flustered only when the seaweed and rice of the triangular kimbap were separated.
At that time, he’d just been busy laughing. He’d teased Seunggeon, who said he didn’t really like triangular kimbap, asking if he had clumsy hands. But thinking about it now, perhaps the maternal grandson of Taehwa Group had never even eaten triangular kimbap before. It was fascinating that he could know Seunggeon was a gold spoon in this way.
As he was convincing himself and laughing alone, Seunggeon, who had finished the call and returned, didn’t look very good. He was basically expressionless and his emotional changes didn’t show much, but it wasn’t to the extent that he couldn’t tell the atmosphere had changed from a little while ago.
“You don’t look well. Did you suddenly feel unwell?”
Chaehun didn’t ask Seunggeon, who had sat down, what happened. Instead, he returned the words Seunggeon had said as they were. Seunggeon asking if he was sick meant he cared about the other person that much. And it was the same for Chaehun.
“Dealing with family elders is the most difficult. It’s annoying.”
As he spoke, perhaps getting irritated, a deep furrow formed between Seunggeon’s brows. Chaehun roughly understood Seunggeon’s position. Chaehun too had often met with elder relatives and heard all kinds of nagging disguised as well-wishes. When he was young, they asked about his grades, and when he entered university, they worried about his employment for him. And these days, he heard a lot of talk about why he wasn’t getting married.
Of course, Seunggeon, the CEO of Taehwa Group, would have different repertoire. It was probably highly likely to be about interests and rights.
“Elders are difficult. You can’t even talk back.”
As he was comforting Seunggeon, his phone vibrated again. This time, Seunggeon truly rarely contorted his face.
“They’re not even tired.”
“What’s so persistent? Ah, never mind. I’m not prying.”
Chaehun reflexively asked what it was and quickly canceled. He didn’t want to hear in a cold voice to review the contract terms, or not to presumptuously step up. After changing the vibrating phone to silent, Seunggeon opened his mouth with a scrunched face.
“It’s nothing much. They’re telling me to go on a blind date.”
“A blind date?”
“Even if I say I have no intention of getting married, they don’t listen.”
It really was nothing much. In this day and age, marriage at thirty might be early, but for elders, it wasn’t. Especially for Seunggeon, he had no choice but to be pestered even more.
Seunggeon was an alpha and the CEO of Taehwa Group. He was handsome and tall. He didn’t know exactly how chaebols got married, but however you looked at it, Seunggeon’s conditions were too good. Whether it was a blind date or a strategic marriage, he was the best as a marriage partner.
It was common for elders to not leave you alone when you had no intention of getting married.
However, Chaehun felt like he’d been hit on the head. The self who said he was struggling not to like Seunggeon became ridiculous in an instant.
Even if it seemed like a date, this really wasn’t a date. If Seunggeon said he wouldn’t meet anymore, the relationship would end.
No, all human connections were like that. Unless mutual interests were entangled, if one side unilaterally cut off the relationship, that was it. Even lovers who loved each other passionately, or even married couples, broke up like that.
Still, the feeling of ending vaguely without even properly starting wasn’t good.
Fine. I’m not going to do anything with him anyway, so if I like him, I like him.
Even though he had no intention of dating or being in a relationship with Seunggeon, trying to discipline his heart was funny. Rather than being shocked at talk of marriage, it was better to just admit he liked him. Anyway, as long as his feelings of liking him weren’t discovered, that was enough.
Having reached a cynical yet impulsive conclusion, Chaehun poked his fork into the sea bream.
“Your conditions are too good. For that reason, if you’re a celibacy advocate, it’ll be even more troublesome.”
“Even if I say I have no faith in the marriage system, they say it’ll be different if I get married. It will be different. In a worse form.”
Having been pestered quite a bit, Seunggeon literally growled. Chaehun, who had been cutting and eating the sea bream steak, smiled bitterly.
Chaehun had dated but never seriously thought about marriage. The hurdle for same-sex marriage was high, and also because he hadn’t properly dated for several years.
Being a realist, he didn’t expect to get married after passionate love. He just hoped to meet a companion to go through life with. Friends each said that was even more unrealistic. Even Shin Yujin, the only married man among Chaehun’s friends, had told him to think about spending a lifetime with someone he loved.
Anyway, Chaehun, who still had no thoughts of marriage, also received a lot of recommendations from relatives. So he could understand Seunggeon’s feelings.
“You must have been quite pestered. I know because I’ve heard similar things a lot too. It’s really not good. But the phone keeps coming. They seem very angry?”
“They’re demonstrating that someone is waiting.”
“Waiting? Now?”
“They unilaterally set up the meeting. I clearly refused, but they didn’t even pretend to listen.”
“Wow. That’s too much. Are they doing it on purpose? To mess with you?”
Chaehun let out a sigh of exasperation. It was indeed too much to set up a blind date even after he had refused. But Seunggeon’s reaction was cold.
“It’s a power game.”
“A power game?”
“When I became CEO, I needed my great-uncles’ shares to defend management rights. We gave and took what we needed, but not satisfied with that, they want to manipulate their young grand-nephew with their own hands. If it were possible, they would have married me off to their granddaughter.”
At the brutal story, Chaehun frowned. Most of Seunggeon’s stories were like things that would appear in dramas or movies. It wasn’t just about marriage but, as expected, a power issue.
The things surrounding Seunggeon came into view again. Even with a brilliant background that anyone would envy, life wasn’t easy.
“You also live a hard life.”
