I knew what it meant to fall in love at first sight. To begin with, I’d heard that my parents themselves had fallen in love at first sight and gotten married. When I asked what part made them fall at first sight, my parents would give different answers each time.
Walking from far away, they were so tall that I fell for them just seeing their shadow.
At the first table where we ate together, your mom was fidgeting with her hands, and because it was cold, each joint was red—just seeing that made me happy.
Your dad, well, his thick eyebrows were really cool, and he seemed melancholy somehow, which was cool, so I fell for him.
Your mom’s hair was the blackest and prettiest hair I’d ever seen.
So naturally, I may have been waiting from childhood for the day I’d fall for someone. My parents always planted fantasies in me by telling me old love stories or tales about how grandma and grandpa met. They weren’t bad fantasies. My love who could appear anytime, anywhere. Because connections between people aren’t something I could force into being, I think I came to wait for a fated love.
Because I had such thoughts, it seems the me from before saw the world more beautifully. Not knowing who I’d fall in love with or how I’d fall in love, I tried to be kind to people around me as much as possible.
I’m not an amazing person, so I couldn’t be that good to people around me. But what’s certain is that I at least tried. So that when I met that person someday, I could treat them well without regrets…
*
‘Elbek, you said, right?’
‘…’
‘Did I pronounce it wrong? Sorry, it’s a name I’m hearing for the first time.’
‘N-no, it’s per-perfect… I mean, the pronunciation…’
So from the moment I first saw that person, I wanted to give my all to them. For that person who taught me that sensation I’d always been curious about—what it meant to fall in love at first sight.
‘You, from your pronunciation it doesn’t seem like you’ve lived here long. Working holiday? Something like that?’
‘N-no, I came to study abroad at a school in this area…’
‘Heh. You go to a good school. Here, isn’t tuition free?’
‘Um, I’m an international student so it doesn’t apply to me… B-but I’m attending thanks to a scholarship.’
‘Ah, so that’s why you’re working part-time? You live diligently. Admirable…’
At the small delivery-specialized Chinese restaurant where I worked at the time, Ruben sat in the very narrow waiting area and talked with me. It’s a scene so vivid I could grasp it with my hands if I closed my eyes even now.
Ruben leaning against the yellow wallpaper wearing a stylish navy blue knit, looking my way. Behind me, the faint sound of Chef Li turning the wok, and one summer day when Chef Li’s daughter’s favorite K-pop played softly.
Ruben, with a face faintly flushed as if slightly drunk, smiled and spoke to me. His eyes that curved when he smiled, those pupils that seemed to shine.
After our conversation that felt too short, I put the cashew nut chicken stir-fry and egg fried rice that Ruben had ordered into a bag and handed it to him as he stood in front of the counter.
‘Oh, also…’
‘Hm?’
‘If you like shrimp chips, I’ll put in one more for you.’
I remember the smile that hung on Ruben’s lips then. Also regretting saying that. Though they were shrimp chips that always came with food orders, because they were quite tasty, there were quite a few people who asked for one more bag. Of course, Chef Li had strictly limited it to one bag per order. Still, that was all I could give. I was embarrassed that it showed that was all I could give.
‘I like that? I love those. They’re good with alcohol.’
But even before my revealed poverty, Ruben was lovely. In that instant, I think I imagined tens of thousands of times just grabbing Ruben’s hand as he took the shrimp chips. Though we hadn’t met for even 30 minutes, I was already his captive.
Ah, he took the shrimp chips and bag, turned his body in a spin and headed toward the door. Because it was a delivery-specialized Chinese restaurant there were no seats, and from the counter where I sat to the door was barely about seven steps.
One, two, three. Three and a half steps. Before even four steps, I ended up shouting.
‘W-wa-wait…!’
‘?’
My breath caught at his gaze looking at me as if asking why. My heart pounded hard. Though I wasn’t standing in front of the wok, heat rushed to my face.
‘D-do you live in this area?’
‘Huh?’
‘I, I was wondering if we’d see each other again…’
Is this all you have to say? The me in my head shouted. But Ruben, who had been staring at me as if frozen at my words, soon softened his expression gently.
‘I don’t live here. I just came to visit for a bit.’
‘Ah, I see…’
Even seeing me unable to hide my disappointment, Ruben didn’t ridicule me. He just returned to the counter with a gentle smile. Leaning with one arm propped on the counter, he took out a card wallet from his pocket.
‘Here, they only pay minimum wage anyway.’
‘Ah, yes…?’
‘I don’t live here, I live on Saint Sophia Island, but I own a pub here… It’s called <Parzival>. Have you seen it?’
Saying that, he handed me a business card. In black, I saw the name written in gold leaf that resembled him. ‘Ruben K. Rikov.’
‘We’re short on staff there. If you have time, want to try interviewing there? The hourly wage is double the minimum.’
‘Ah, uh, yes… Yes?’
‘You seem kind and sincere, and I think you’d work well, so I liked you. If not now, want to come to Saint Sophia Island once during vacation? I own quite a few establishments.’
‘…’
I looked back and forth between Ruben and that name while gripping the business card tightly. Actually, what Ruben was saying didn’t register well in my ears. I just repeated his name inside my mouth. Ruben Rikov. Even his name, how did it feel so pretty?
‘If you’re interested, contact the number written there. I should go before the chicken gets cold.’
‘I-I will.’
I said, stammering. My heart pounded. Not because I’d caught a good opportunity. Just, I was happier than anything in the world to have received Ruben’s number.
‘I will, I, I can do well.’
‘…Ha!’
Ruben looked at me with a short laugh. The gaze I thought had sharpened for a moment soon crumbled gently, and Ruben with a soft smile on his face looked at me.
‘I guess I’m good at reading people…’
‘Y-yes…?’
‘You seem like someone who’ll work hard. I can tell just by looking… Haha, please take care of me from now on?’
If you have worries, call this number, saying that, Ruben walked toward the exit with steps not much different from before. When barely a step and a half remained from the door, he suddenly turned around and waved the bag in his hand.
‘Thanks for the shrimp chips.’
Because of him smiling with the corners of his eyes folding, I was staring blankly at the door without even properly sitting down until the next customer came. The faintly audible wok sounds, the noise of the fan rotating on the ceiling, the sound of the ventilation fan and the cars passing outside the door all felt like a verse of a love song. Without knowing what kind of person Ruben was, in that moment I had my heart stolen and never got it back.
“…How nice would it have been if you were the kind of person I thought you were back then?”
“What?”
“N-nothing, Boss…”
“This bastard… even while being punished, ahh, you talk a lot…”
Saying that, Ruben collapsed forward, trembling as if climaxing once more. I was on my knees on the bed, violating Ruben from behind. Though I loved Ruben’s pretty face, Ruben seen from behind was also stimulating. Especially this sight of skin white as a snowy field heating to pink wherever I touched was always lewd.
“Hnng, ugh, you, you bastard, ahh, h-how, how is it, b-being, ahh, forcibly, fucked, hih, ho-how does it feel…!”
“Hah, hngh, a-as expected of the Boss…”
Though I’d changed all the rewards and punishments Ruben gave me into obscene acts like oral sex or sex through perception alteration hypnosis, I couldn’t change all of Ruben’s subjectivity. As expected, Ruben seemed to think he should have the initiative when giving punishment. Rather, that made it better.
Ruben now approached very actively during sex. Even on a day like today, though it was doggy-style, I barely moved and Ruben took the initiative by shaking his hips toward me standing like a wall.
Ruben’s buttocks had quite a bit of flesh, and in contrast his waist was thin and shoulders broad, so just leisurely appreciating it like this was satisfying. Ruben himself whining and slapping his buttocks close to my groin, shaking his ass as if determined to torment my cock somehow by tightening his hole—that also felt good.
But better than that was handling Ruben as I pleased as he had sex diligently without knowing what state he was in.
“Hngh, hahhh, hic, ah, hiit…!”
“Ahh, Boss, the punishment Ruben gives is amazing…!”
When I grabbed Ruben’s buttocks with both hands and began slamming my hips violently, fluid spurted out vigorously from Ruben’s genitals. The sweet smell was thick. Having done it this much, sex should get boring, but doing it with Ruben felt good no matter how many times. The soft skin, the mucous membrane squeezing tightly and wetly, the moans ringing sweetly—no matter how many times I heard, touched, and thrust, I never got bored.
“Hic, hiit…!”
If there was one thing that got better after perception alteration, it was that now I could mark Ruben’s body as I pleased. Because now even seeing such marks, he’d think they naturally occurred while giving punishment. Thinking that, when I slapped Ruben’s well-shaped buttocks with my palm, Ruben’s body trembled. I felt the inner walls tightening as love fluids tried to leak out between the tightly joined junction.
“Ahh, Ruben, Ruben…!”
I lifted up Ruben’s body that had fallen forward and made him lean completely against me. With his waist and chest bound by both my arms, I thrust my cock into Ruben’s deepest place.
“Hmph, hiik, hah, higgh…!”
I gripped and squeezed Ruben’s chest with my hand while sinking my teeth into his nape. Ruben was gritting his teeth, trembling and looking at the ceiling. When I fondled his chest enough to leave marks, pinched his nipples, and thrust my cock deeper, Ruben’s expression finally crumbled.
“Hn, hneh, hek, hahhh…”
Was it because I’d hypnotized him to feel it as slightly painful, or did he originally have masochistic tendencies? Or perhaps from having such rough sex so often, had he been trained into a masochist? Even at stimulation that should be painful, Ruben felt pleasure. Rather, feeling it too much, Ruben let out a stupid laugh and dribbled thin semen from his genitals once more.
“Ru-Ruben…”
“Hic, hi, hiit…”
“A-anyway, y-you said you don’t want a child… so pregnancy can be delayed a little, right…?”
“Ah, ahhgh?!”
I shuddered at the approaching sensation of ejaculation and held Ruben even deeper. My genitals swelled as they crushed Ruben’s deepest place. With a now-familiar sensation, I felt Ruben and I becoming one.
“To-today isn’t the day to get pregnant…”
“O-ohh, ah, ahiik…”
“It’s the day to wreck your pussy… ri-right…?”
“…”
Though I hadn’t asked for an answer, Ruben was diligent in some ways. Though the whites showed in his eyes and his face was dirtied with tears and drool, Ruben faintly nodded his head.
“Ha, hahaha…”
I grabbed Ruben’s chin to make him look at me. I kissed deeply that slovenly expression with his mouth hanging open all melted, and when I fondled his chest that I’d been gripping indiscriminately while controlling the intensity, a moaning groan leaked from inside Ruben’s mouth.
‘So cute…’
Feeling unbearably affectionate at that sight, I thought once more. I must have this person. Not just their body, but their heart too.
