“Aha, so that’s why you asked if someone was next to me……”
I heard laughter.
– What kind of friend? Another one with yellow hair?
“No? It’s not Jihwan, it’s Seyeon, a classmate I became close with after coming here. I heard them say they wanted ice cream earlier, so I bought one while getting mine. Ah, the reason I’m buying it for them is because Seyeon bought one for me yesterday.”
– So Hajin became friends with Seyeon.
“Yes! But I couldn’t see where Seyeon was, so I asked Gyeongho to pass it along and came out. But now that I think about it, they might not like chocolate flavor, so I’m worried. Yesterday they had melon flavor. I should have gotten melon.”
While I was rambling, silence flowed from the other end. Hyung-nim was listening to me quietly. At this late hour.
I hesitated for a moment while speaking. A certain thought had crossed my mind.
“But you know…… what about you, hyung-nim?”
– Hm?
“Are you…… with someone right now……?”
Listening to hyung-nim’s words made me incredibly curious about that too. I couldn’t stand not asking.
For some reason, I heard a soft laugh from the other end of the phone. I wished he’d answer quickly. I bit my lip anxiously.
– Someone next to me? I’m working at home.
“Huh…… at this hour?”
It was past twelve o’clock now. I was relieved no one was beside him, but I was worried. I’d been foolishly playing around while hyung-nim was working.
No wonder hyung-nim’s voice had that low, calm feeling. There was a slightly tired energy mixed in, but that was actually nice.
I pictured him loosening his necktie under the glow of his laptop screen. His forearms with rolled-up shirt sleeves, his hair slightly tousled unlike his usual perfectly neat appearance.
Even now, hyung-nim must look incredibly cool. I could bet the ice cream in my hand right now on that certainty.
“I thought being a company president would be comfortable, but that’s not the case either……”
– You’re telling me.
Hyung-nim chuckled along with a sigh-mixed voice. My heart beat faster at that short, low laugh. Hearing his tired-sounding voice made me want to give him strength, even just a little.
“Your hard work will definitely pay off, hyung-nim. You’re incredibly smart.”
– You think so? What if I end up failing? What would hyung do then?
“What?”
It was a voice that somehow reminded me of childhood. Anyway, the idea of hyung-nim’s business failing was so unexpected that I was a bit flustered, having never even thought about it.
“Uh, then…… what would we do……”
I smacked my lips several times with a serious face. I was so troubled that I couldn’t even think about whether the ice cream in my hand was melting or not.
“For the time being, I’ll talk to Mom and Dad and get more allowance! After that, I’ll, it might take a while, but once I just graduate from school……”
– So, if I fail, you’re saying Hajin will support hyung?
“Yes.”
Of course, only while I’m alive.
I smiled bitterly. I don’t know how lucky it is that hyung-nim can’t see my face right now.
– Hyung feels so reassured, Hajin-ah. I mean it.
“Hehe. Really?”
Even after saying that, hyung-nim laughed for quite a while, seeming to be in a good mood. It was the loudest and longest laugh I’d heard from hyung-nim recently. I also smiled while listening to the low rumbling laughter.
– I’ll work hard so it doesn’t come to that.
“Yes, that would definitely be best.”
– Still, things will get less busy later on. Just think of now as the most hectic time.
I fidgeted with my hand resting on my knee. Just moments ago, I’d been disappointed that hyung-nim’s name wasn’t in the notifications.
“Then…… can we have dinner together often later?”
– Yeah, that’s my goal.
The loneliness that had been rushing in wildly seemed to disappear completely as I listened to hyung-nim’s voice.
“Come to think of it, Uncle always has dinner with Imo no matter what. Even when he’s busy, he always does that.”
Hyung-nim’s father always made an effort to have dinner with his family, as if adhering to a philosophy. My dad wasn’t quite like that, so Uncle sometimes became a subject of minor comparison in our household.
– I guess I take after Father.
“I suppose so. You’re like Uncle too, hyung-nim……”
Suddenly, strangely, the center of my heart felt heavy.
Someday hyung-nim would have a family too.
Someone who would sit across from him at the dinner table after a hectic day of work, sharing their day with smiles.
“Imo said she hopes you’ll get married soon, hyung-nim. She’s scared you might not get married.”
This opportunity to be close to hyung-nim like this every day is probably the last.
It wasn’t just because of my terminal illness. Even if I live healthily from now on, I don’t know if that spot beside him could be my place.
At the passing thought, that pathetic feeling surged up inside me again.
I want to have him. Hyung-nim.
I want to be that person who sits across from hyung-nim and eats together every day.
While I was lost in thought, hyung-nim’s breathing continued quietly from the other end of the phone.
Deep, slow breaths. In the gentle air current, I hastily added more words.
“……Hyung-nim, I, I did a talent show yesterday.”
I needed to pull myself together. Otherwise, I’d become endlessly melancholic. Fortunately, hyung-nim didn’t seem to notice anything particularly strange.
– A talent show?
“Yes, I somehow ended up going on stage and our department got second place, so we even got a prize.”
– That’s impressive.
He seemed to be listening with keen interest, so the words just kept flowing.
“Nothing you worried about happened, hyung-nim. There were no bad seniors, and I didn’t mooch ice cream from a returning student senior. Ah! I didn’t smoke either.”
Honestly, the MT was so peaceful I couldn’t understand why hyung-nim had such concerns. So I know my grounds for confidently making demands of hyung-nim are a bit lacking. But still…….
“I came here and listened to you well, hyung-nim…… Please give me a reward. I’ve only been getting scolded lately. I’m upset.”
I’m truly a person with no talent whatsoever for push-and-pull tactics.
And hyung-nim laughed softly. This time it was a genuinely pleased laugh. Soft and warm laughter.
“I was so happy when you said you’d do my bucket list with me, hyung-nim. You know?”
– You really can’t be stopped.
Hyung-nim always understands what I mean. Even when I ramble incoherently and beat around the bush, he always listens carefully.
– What did you do for the talent show? I want to see it.
But hyung-nim changed the subject. I guess I really did act too rashly back then.
I felt disappointed, but this issue was actually somewhat important too.
– Did you dance or something? Or sing?
“There, there was something like that. Hyung-nim, I just thought of this, but if Jeongyeon sends you any video, absolutely don’t watch it.”
– Okay, got it. I absolutely won’t watch it.
I told him firmly, so I shouldn’t have to worry. I felt a bit relieved.
“The thing is, I had no intention of going on stage originally, but it was because of my hair. They were picking four people and I stood out…… I think I really shouldn’t have dyed my hair like you said, hyung-nim.”
– Then I guess you’ll have to cover your hair again. Hajin’s original hair color is much prettier anyway.
“Right. I’m going to cover it as soon as I go back. So……”
– Let’s go together.
My heart thumped. Somehow it didn’t seem like he was just offering to go to the hair salon together.
“Uh……”
– We’ll go to the amusement park too.
“Really?!”
My eyes flew open. I didn’t mishear because I was drunk, did I?
– There’s no way I can break your stubbornness.
“Will you really do it together with me again? My bucket list.”
– Yes.
Wow.
It was clearly the middle of a dark night, but it suddenly felt like the world was brightening.
I spoke urgently before hyung-nim could change his mind.
“If it’s not like last time, I can add things I want to do, right? Ah, no, actually I’ve already added some things during this time.”
Because there are so many things I want to do with hyung-nim.
– What is it? Should hyung go to Hajin’s room right now and open that notebook?
“That’s absolutely not allowed!”
I shouted urgently. Actually, there was nothing written in the notebook. But besides the bucket list, there were also my doodles and diary.
– Okay. I absolutely won’t look at Hajin’s notebook.
I let out a sigh of relief. There must absolutely never be an incident where hyung-nim opened it somewhere without my knowledge.
“I already have them memorized. The things I want to do with my roommate. Um, what I mean is, I want to eat out together at least once a week, and I want to watch movies once a month like last time……”
If this worked out, even if not for a lifetime, I could have meals with hyung-nim once a week for the time being. And I wanted to go on movie theater dates like last time again too.
– Okay, let’s do that.
“Huh? Really?”
My eyes widened. Honestly, I just threw it out there, but I was dumbfounded that everything was flowing so smoothly.
