I was so shocked my breath caught, but Jeongwoo hyung-nim’s face showed no expression whatsoever.
With one arm loosely resting against the car window, he simply stared at us quietly. That cold, indifferent gaze was more than enough to freeze me in place.
How many times had I seen hyung-nim with that expression from childhood until now?
Usually, he was either smiling mischievously or stroking my head with the gentle smile of a caring adult. Even when he recently scolded me, his eyes weren’t this cold.
But right now, his expressionless face made him seem like a stranger.
While I stood frozen in shock, hyung-nim’s hand on the steering wheel slowly moved and pressed the horn once more.
“Eek!”
The short, sharp honk snapped me back to my senses. At that sound that rang out like a command, Choi Jihwan and I hurriedly made way for the car to pass.
Somehow we ended up separated with the road between us, and I belatedly realized I’d unfortunately ended up on the driver’s side.
I heard the sound of the window rolling down from the car that slowly glided closer.
I clasped my hands together and hunched my body.
“Hyung-nim, hel—”
My voice sounded stupid even to my own ears because I was so scared, but a firm response immediately came back.
“Not hello.”
“…Pardon?”
“Get in the back.”
I blankly lifted my head. Hyung-nim’s gaze wasn’t even directed at me. His icy cold appearance staring only straight ahead made me even more frightened.
As I stood there in a daze, hyung-nim slowly turned his gaze toward me.
His firmly set jawline, and his heavily lowered eyes.
I’m screwed.
From that alone, I could tell Jeongwoo hyung-nim was plenty angry. It seemed like he was barely holding back harsh words that were about to come out.
The alcohol buzz felt like it instantly turned ice cold. I quietly opened the back seat door.
Before getting in, I caught a glimpse of Choi Jihwan waving at me from beyond the car body. Somehow that sight looked like he was seeing me off as I was being dragged to a slaughterhouse, which made me feel a bit sad.
“Lee Hajin.”
“Huk.”
Just then, hyung-nim’s voice called me. I, who had been hesitating while looking at Choi Jihwan, swallowed and quickly jumped into the back seat. Before pushing my body into the car, I stole a glance at hyung-nim’s face, which still looked angry.
Before departing, the inside of the car was filled with a heavily sunken silence. Even though I obediently sat in the back seat and closed the door, hyung-nim didn’t immediately start driving. Only after glancing at my face once in the rearview mirror did he put the car in gear.
Since we were right in front of the house anyway, we arrived embarrassingly quickly. Was it about a minute?
After getting out of the car, I bowed in greeting and immediately tried to go into my house.
“Hyung-nim, thank you for the ride. Well then, I’ll be—”
“Don’t mess around. Where do you think you’re going on your own?”
My efforts were in vain as I had to be dragged to hyung-nim’s room.
Each step entering hyung-nim’s house felt heavy.
Whether it was because it was late, the entire house was quiet as a mouse. The time it took to reach hyung-nim’s room felt even longer.
Something’s strange.
I’d entered with the expectation that if my aunt and uncle were around, hyung-nim wouldn’t be able to raise his voice, but this was too quiet, even for quiet.
“Hyung-nim, I guess it’s just the two of us right now.”
“What difference does that make?”
“Ah.”
I had momentarily forgotten the situation I was in. When I muttered my thoughts out loud, hyung-nim’s sharp glare turned to me.
A moment later, I only now realized that today was the very day both sets of parents had left on a couples’ trip together. My mouth immediately fell open dumbly.
So actually, my late return home today might not have been a problem at all. Of course, that’s only if hyung-nim hadn’t caught that scene earlier.
I shouldn’t have done that. Of all things, why did that scene have to be seen? How embarrassing…
“Go in first.”
After letting me into the room, hyung-nim went back outside. Naturally, I was left alone in hyung-nim’s room to wait for my scolding time.
I rubbed my sweating hands on my pants. The reason I was nervous was of course because hyung-nim seemed thoroughly angry.
However, another reason I was nervous was in case I might have impure thoughts. Because this was a place full of hyung-nim’s pheromones.
“I absolutely mustn’t do that this time. Besides, he called me by my full name…”
Not even ‘Hajin-ah’ but a full three syllables with my surname. That meant he was incredibly angry. I couldn’t let myself get distracted by pheromones in hyung-nim’s room even in this situation.
Get a grip on the situation, Lee Hajin.
I tried to calm my nervous heart by thinking about what I’d done in hyung-nim’s bathroom last time.
***
Lee Hajin.
There were hardly any instances when I was called by those three syllables by the adults of both households, including Jeongwoo hyung-nim. Mom and Dad often alternated between calling me ‘our son,’ ‘prince,’ and ‘young master’ rather than my name.
Jeongwoo hyung-nim’s uncle and aunt weren’t much different. It was ‘our third son,’ ‘prince,’ ‘young master.’ While they called Jeongyeon a troublemaker or scoundrel, they maintained those honorifics for me.
And the way hyung-nim called me was a bit different from the adults.
Hajin-ah. Baby. Little one.
I’d become so accustomed to only those nicknames that at some point, the moment hyung-nim called me by my three syllables, my body would freeze up. This was especially true after we became quite awkward with each other while going through puberty.
So when hyung-nim called me, who was 11 years younger, by the name Lee Hajin, it meant something had gone seriously wrong. That’s how rarely hyung-nim used my full three-syllable name when calling me.
But I didn’t quite understand exactly what I’d done so wrong.
As soon as I entered the room, the door slammed shut behind me. My shoulders flinched at the rough sound.
It seemed hyung-nim had come in after cooling down for a bit. Even so, hyung-nim’s face was no different from before. It was hardened and scary.
“Lee Hajin.”
“…”
Three syllables again. At that moment, I lost my words and fell silent.
“What’s your problem lately?”
However, the coldly lowered voice continued regardless of whether I answered or not.
“Lately you seem to be living like a kid who’s lost all sense. You’re acting like a well-behaved kid who’s had some change of heart. If you’re going to live however you want just because you turned twenty, what’s the point of living with your parents? Should I slowly explain what it means when they tell you to come home early so you’ll understand?”
With each step he took forward, it felt like the walls were getting narrower.
“So, what’s your relationship with that guy?”
The worry I’d had earlier about having other thoughts was completely unnecessary. His deeply furrowed brow, his unwavering gaze. My heart was pounding, and just standing before him made me feel endlessly small.
“Are you two dating?”
“If we’re dating…?”
I looked at hyung-nim’s face with wide eyes. I’d been about to ask, ‘What difference would that make?’
“Are you dating?”
It felt like if I said no, an even bigger scolding would come back.
“N-no?”
But still, hyung-nim’s expression was so scary in that moment that I had no choice but to answer honestly.
Was it just my imagination that it seemed like he’d get angry even if I lied and said we were dating?
“You’re not even dating? And yet right now—”
“W-we’re not anything! I just asked Jihwan, I mean, Jihyeon, because he said he’d tried various things… and that’s how it happened.”
“What did you ask?”
“I asked what kissing felt like, and when he said then let’s try it, I just…”
I felt like something terrible would happen if I didn’t tell the truth.
As soon as I kept opening my mouth, regret came flooding in. But it was already too late.
Because Jeongwoo hyung-nim’s face, known for being very sexually conservative, was getting scarier and scarier.
“Just? You just kiss someone like that? Is that something you can just do?”
“N-no, it’s just, I’d never done it before, and honestly I was curious…!”
From a certain point on, his expression was changing moment by moment every time I opened my mouth.
