In the end, Seon Hobeom, exhausted from waiting, boldly pushed Ma Doun aside and opened his mouth.
“Doun hyung! It’s not about the lunchbox!”
“Ah…… right.”
Ma Doun, who had been caught up in Ka Jerim’s pace listening to praise about the lunchbox, only then realized his original purpose and scratched his head with an embarrassed face. The moment Seon Hobeom quickly pushed past Ma Doun and stood in front of Ka Jerim, he asked.
“Hey, Crayfish. How was school?”
At those words, Park Eden, who was standing behind, nodded in agreement, and Onseol also narrowed his eyes and waited for an answer.
“……School was.”
Because Ka Jerim hesitated for a moment, seeming about to open his mouth but not quite, the members tensed up, wondering if something had happened at school. Of course, Ka Jerim, who had no way of knowing what the members were thinking, was simply not answering because he was pondering how to say it.
‘Hurry up and say something.’
When worry was slowly rising on the members’ faces because Ka Jerim looked somehow serious, Ka Jerim suddenly opened his eyes wide and said something no one expected with an “Ah!”
“That’s right! I received gifts!”
“Gifts?”
“You said gifts?”
Since he suddenly mentioned gifts, everyone except Ka Jerim didn’t understand the situation.
When the members looked at Ka Jerim with bewildered faces, completely clueless about what gifts he was talking about, Ka Jerim finally realized that his explanation had been insufficient and received his backpack back from Ma Doun.
Ziiip—
And Ka Jerim pulled out something after something from inside the backpack.
“What is all this?”
“Gifts!”
What Ka Jerim kept pulling out were things commonly available at convenience stores.
Snacks like cookies and candy, and chocolate made up the majority, and some had post-it notes attached saying ‘Fighting!’ and ‘Let’s be friends.’ Since the quantity was larger than expected, Doun crouched down to look, exclaiming “Wow.”
“Jackpot. Who gave you all this?”
But Ka Jerim, who heard the following question, was smiling brightly with excitement for only a moment before suddenly blinking his eyes rapidly with a flustered face and staring blankly at the members.
“……Uh, well.”
Because Ka Jerim still wasn’t answering, the members who had been focusing their gaze on the gifts lifted their heads one by one with puzzled faces.
“Ka Jerim?”
Ka Jerim couldn’t finish taking out the gifts and just blinked his eyes with his hand still inside the backpack. Then he bit his lip slightly with a troubled face at the gazes concentrated on him.
‘Why is he acting like that? Did we say something wrong?’
While the members thought this and looked at each other, interrogating with silent gazes, no matter how much they retraced the previous conversation, there was nothing strange about it, so as time passed, their faces gradually turned to ones that were completely clueless.
‘Ah, I get it.’
But even in between, the quick-witted Onseol noticed what Ka Jerim was worrying about and quickly relaxed his stiff expression.
And then, as if it was really nothing, as if it wasn’t a big deal, he casually tossed out the words.
“Your friends gave them to you?”
“……Yes, that— that’s right. My school friends gave them to me.”
Friends?
The members also seemed to catch on then, their expressions freezing for a moment before they rapidly spat out words.
“Wo-ow. They must be good friends.”
“……Friends! I mean, friends! Did you make a lot?”
“Ho-oly shit. Crayfish is crazy popular.”
Onseol chuckled at the members’ efforts to somehow continue the situation naturally, and their clumsy conversation.
But was it thanks to that? Ka Jerim, who had been flustered for a moment, also quickly relaxed and said with a smile while carefully putting the snacks back into the backpack.
“Right. I didn’t think I’d make friends at school……”
“……”
“I was flustered for a moment about what to say.”
Seeing Ka Jerim smile brightly, the Abyss members deliberately put strength into their hands to manage their expressions in front of Ka Jerim. Ka Jerim, who had no way of knowing this fact, just smiled and wrinkled his nose at the strange feeling from the word ‘friends,’ then relaxed it.
“Something feels weird.”
“……”
“Really.”
Civilian friends, and school.
When he was Cha Hohyeon, school and friends felt so distant that he never thought in his entire life that he could make friends at school. Because he barely attended high school due to Fort activities.
That’s why he wasn’t sure if he should use the word ‘friends’ even for the classmates he briefly met at school, and because the word ‘friend’ itself was extremely awkward, the words didn’t come out easily.
But besides this reason.
‘Are these the first friends I’m making as Ka Jerim?’
It was the first time he formed a new relationship as Ka Jerim, excluding the members of Abyss, and since that relationship was called ‘friends,’ it felt somehow more ticklish.
“Agh! Hyung……!”
At that moment, Onseol firmly stepped on the foot of Seon Hobeom, who was particularly unable to manage his expression among the members who were strangely stiff.
“Since it’s an arts school, weren’t there any celebrities?”
And then he spoke to Ka Jerim so nonchalantly that even Seon Hobeom lost his words and opened his mouth with an absurd expression.
“Hey, hyung……?”
“Right. Since it’s an arts school, there must have been celebrities too, right?”
Even Park Eden went one step further and changed the subject, and Ma Doun just slightly covered the pained Seon Hobeom with a stiff smile. As if appreciating their efforts, Ka Jerim tilted his head but soon started talking with a bright smile.
“Actually, from Retro—”
The members listened to Ka Jerim chattering excitedly, feeling complicated inside but smiling brightly on the outside.
“Should I call him sunbae-nim?”
“At first I did, but since we’re the same age, he told me to speak casually, so I speak casually and call him comfortably.”
Everyone matched their pace to Ka Jerim’s steps toward the room and moved to the front of the door.
“Uh, what’s this.”
Ka Jerim, who belatedly noticed the large figures matching their steps in the small house, burst into laughter as soon as he arrived at the door. Park Eden patted Ka Jerim’s back and sent him into the room.
“Then you must be tired today. Go in and rest quickly.”
“Ah. Yes! I’ll come out after changing clothes.”
Click—
“……”
When Ka Jerim went into the room to change clothes, silence lingered in the living room.
After a moment, the members looked at each other and tried to sigh but closed their mouths in case Ka Jerim might hear that sound.
And then, as if they had made a promise, they walked toward Onseol’s room, which was farthest from Ka Jerim and Seon Hobeom’s room.
“I was worried.”
Thud, as soon as the door closed, Onseol opened his mouth, and Doun, who was standing side by side, banged his head against the door with a thunk and muttered with a face where the tension had lessened.
“He’s not acting, right? What if he cries as soon as the door closes?”
“Hyung. Didn’t you see Ka Jerim laughing so excitedly and brightly?”
“Still……”
Knowing well Ma Doun’s personality, which was always full of worry and concern despite his large build, Onseol patted Ma Doun’s back.
“He’s a celebrity anyway. Whether it becomes porridge or rice, they can’t mess with him carelessly.”
Because he was such a good-natured kid, they thought nothing special would happen, but after hearing certain words from Director Gye, they couldn’t help but worry about Ka Jerim going to school.
Onseol, too, although he might seem nonchalant on the outside, seemed to have many thoughts as he pressed his brow with a troubled face. While the members were also briefly silent, lost in their own thoughts and staring into space, Seon Hobeom lay his back on Onseol’s bed and opened his mouth.
“What could the reason be?”
“Reason?”
When Park Eden asked back, Seon Hobeom silently stared into Park Eden’s eyes.
Only then did Eden, Doun, and Seol, who were standing side by side, all turn serious as if recalling Director Gye’s words.
‘Why did you transfer him? Jerim was severely ostracized at his previous school because of rumors.’
‘What kind of rumors?’
‘Just various things. Of course, we keep monitoring continuously, and since Jerim’s personality itself changed to be so pleasant, those rumors are on a declining trend. Honestly, all the other rumors aside, that rumor was too fatal.’
‘That rumor?’
‘Attempted suicide. You guys didn’t hear? Anyway, the problem is that this isn’t just a rumor but the truth.’
‘……No. We heard about it. But wasn’t that just a rumor?’
Hearing that story, Park Eden asked back in shock, Onseol lowered his head with a face that said his prediction was correct, and Doun stepped back.
And Seon Hobeom.
‘It’s not a rumor. I saw it. There were marks of a rope around his neck.’
He opened his mouth with a frown as if recalling that day, and the members who heard those words had pale faces.
They just thought such rumors circulated because he looked gloomy. Since all kinds of rumors exist even among trainees. But it wasn’t just a simple rumor.
‘And Jerim didn’t attempt suicide just once.’
‘What did you say?’
‘From what I know, it’s already been three times. Twice in the recording studio, once in the practice room. And hearing Hobeom’s words, there might have been more besides those.’
Attempted suicide.
It was something that felt endlessly dark and distant to them, but to hear that a member of the same group had already experienced it several times was shocking. It was so shocking that they didn’t know how to look at Ka Jerim’s face right away.
“To be honest, I’m really curious. But I can’t ask.”
They were really curious, but if it was an action that would dig up a big wound, they had to pretend not to know even while knowing. And because everyone in this place knew that, even though questions about Ka Jerim rose to the tip of their chins, they held back.
For a moment, dark silence settled in the room.
