“Why are you standing — sit down.”
Lost in one thought after another, I heard the slide of the door and Baek Hyunwoo came back into the ward. In his hands was a hospital meal tray — clearly commandeered from the building — and on it sat grilled pork belly, mushrooms, leafy wraps, and rice, arranged in a way that looked genuinely appetizing.
“Come here, let’s eat first.”
Where on earth did he get all that? Even granting that the finding was just luck — how had he cooked it? There were so many questions piling up, yet separate from all of that, my body had its own reliable opinion: eat that right now.
“I’d rather not feed you meat first thing in the morning, but…… you had too light a lunch yesterday, and you slept through dinner.”
“……I was asleep that long?”
“You moved around a lot. It makes sense you were tired.”
Baek Hyunwoo set the tray on the small round table, beckoned me over, and kept talking.
“For lunch we’ll have gimbap, and for dinner, should I make something our Sihyeon likes? Anything you want to eat?”
“If I say it, can you actually make it?”
“Of course.”
I’d assumed it was a joke and was going to smile and let it pass — but my oldest hyung nodded and answered in a tone that was entirely serious.
“Just because the world has happened to end doesn’t mean I’ll fail to get you what you want to eat. So whatever it is, if there’s something you want — say it. Understood?”
“Oh — right.”
His voice was so firm as he said it that I found myself nodding in agreement before I knew it. But Baek Hyunwoo had no intention of just letting it go at that — he sat across from me and pressed a spoon into my hand and kept going.
“Sihyeon, looking after you is what makes hyung’s life worth living.”
“……”
“If you swallow things down and go quiet because you feel sorry, or because you think the timing isn’t right — there’s nothing more unbearable to hyung than that.”
“But if something happens to you because of me — if you got hurt or——”
“Baek Sihyeon.”
His voice had dropped when he said my name, and I obediently fell silent and quietly braced myself. Baek Hyunwoo’s brow had creased as though he were angry — but the moment our eyes met, he relaxed his expression, as if he couldn’t help it.
“Hyung will absolutely never die, and will never get hurt — so you don’t need to worry about a single thing. Understood?”
“……”
“Answer me.”
“……Okay.”
“Good.”
The hand stroking my hair was gentle, but cool. The message — don’t bring this up again — was far too clear, and I exhaled a long, silent breath.
I’d ask why he insists on carrying everything alone, but I know myself too well for that. Setting aside whether my body was weak or not — I was easily frightened, and my head didn’t work that quickly. Honestly, even I would see myself as someone to be looked after, not someone to be relied on.
“Alright, eat up.”
Normally in a situation like this, food would taste like nothing or feel impossible to get down — and yet I wasn’t lacking appetite in the slightest; everything was just delicious.
Damn — at this rate, I can’t even complain about being too distracted to do anything. Under his prompting, I wrapped a piece of meat in a leaf, stuffed my mouth full, and snuck a glance at him.
“It’s good, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
It wasn’t a forced smile — he was genuinely, wholeheartedly beaming with delight — and seeing it made me almost wonder if what I’d glimpsed back at the house had been my imagination all along.
“If you don’t have anything particular in mind, let’s have sushi for dinner. I’ve already got fresh ingredients set aside, so don’t worry.”
……It really might have been my imagination.
Or Baek Hyunwoo had adapted with astonishing speed.
This world really is ending, isn’t it?
I glanced out the window again and again while I ate, and by the fifth time I’d looked back and forth between the dead city and Baek Hyunwoo’s bright smile, I’d made up my mind.
“You’re all done? Let’s have dessert. Wait just a moment.”
Right. I’m simply going to stop thinking.
✽
Wasn’t it said that all suffering and hardship come from within? That’s exactly right. The moment I stopped thinking, my mind felt this peaceful.
“When I got to this town, there was no one here. There were a few zombies, but…… like I said before, they were all cut in half, so the most they can do is writhe.”
“I see.”
Dessert was apple gelato — I had no idea where he’d found it. I scooped it up diligently and nodded along, and Baek Hyunwoo drew out a handkerchief, wiped the corner of my mouth, and continued explaining in his gentle way.
“And I found your medication too.”
“It was here?”
“Yeah, lucky break. You won’t need to worry about it for at least two months.”
That was genuinely good news. I let out a quiet, wordless sigh of relief — and he gave me a look that said see, I told you not to worry — and I felt oddly sheepish as I set my spoon down and asked:
“Didn’t you see anything else?”
“Anything else? Like what?”
“There were so many things like spider webs outside…… I was wondering if there might be something out there besides zombies.”
At my words, Baek Hyunwoo’s brow furrowed slightly and he tilted his head.
“Hmm, I’m not sure about that either. But the fact that it’s been this quiet so far means it probably isn’t that big a danger. Don’t worry.”
“Okay.”
“Time for your medicine.”
Only the location had changed — the rhythm of things was truly no different from life at home. Sitting here like this, it really did feel a little like what my oldest hyung had said — like we were on a trip.
“Good job.”
All I’d done was take my medicine — yet he stroked my hair with the look of someone praising a remarkable achievement. That, too, was entirely unchanged.
“We’re leaving tomorrow morning, so rest well until then. And try not to come out unless you have to.”
“What about you?”
“I need to have a look around. There might be survivors, or there might be other useful things to find.”
He was going to wander this desolate town alone? I looked out the window with a dissatisfied expression. Dark clouds had swallowed the sky — it looked like a heavy downpour was imminent.
“It looks like rain…… will you be okay?”
“Rain is actually better.”
“Why?”
“It masks sound, and dampens the smell.”
So the zombies in this area had sharp hearing and smell. Wasn’t that how zombies typically were? Either way, Baek Hyunwoo had the casual air of someone going out for a stroll, so I found myself saying something that could’ve come straight from an ordinary day at home.
“What if you catch a cold. It’s been getting a bit chilly at night.”
“Have you ever seen hyung get sick?”
“……Not really.”
Come to think of it — none of my hyungs had ever so much as caught a cold. And Beomho hyung hadn’t even flinched the time he came home with his face all cut up. I couldn’t find a comeback and was scratching the back of my neck when Baek Hyunwoo pulled on a rain poncho and said:
“I’ll say it again — absolutely do not come out. If you get bored, read a book.”
“Do you think I’m a child?”
“No matter how old you get, you’re still a kid in hyung’s eyes.”
I had nothing to say to that kind of certainty, so I just glowered at him in dissatisfaction — and he shrugged with an utterly shameless expression. Knowing full well I hated being treated like a child and still doing this every time — he was either mischievous at heart, or he’d gotten a taste for teasing me. Or both.
“Even if you hear strange noises, don’t look outside.”
“Fine, I know.”
“Same goes if hyung calls out.”
That one was a slightly odd thing to ask.
I raised an eyebrow to signal he should explain, and he crouched to tie his shoelaces and answered as if it were nothing:
“Just in case.”
“You might call out asking for help.”
“Me? You?”
“……You never know.”
I knew full well he was the type to deal with things on his own even if his arm got cut off, rather than ask for help — but hearing that reaction, I couldn’t help giving his own words right back to him.
“That will absolutely never happen, so don’t worry — just rest.”
Saying that, he thoroughly ruffled my hair with an expression that said he found me utterly endearing.
“Just come back safely.”
“Give me a kiss first.”
“What?”
I’d been grumbling and swatting his hand away — and Baek Hyunwoo tapped his own cheek lightly and tilted his head down toward me. Am I really his younger brother or his child? If I hadn’t had memories from before being adopted, I might have genuinely wondered at some point whether Baek Hyunwoo had gotten into some trouble young and I was actually his kid.
“Come on, hurry.”
“Fine.”
But that was beside the point. In a situation like this, I couldn’t bring myself to coldly send him off over something as small as embarrassment — so I went along with it and pressed my lips to his cheek. Unlike the usual fleeting brush I gave every time, I pressed my lips down firmly this time, like stamping a seal — and Baek Hyunwoo’s mouth split into a grin so wide it looked like it might tear.
“Did something special happen today? Hmm? Is it hyung’s birthday?”
“If you say weird things, I won’t do it next time.”
“I’m just so happy I can’t help it.”
And then he cupped my face between both hands and showered me with affection like a sudden downpour. Smack, smack, smack — embarrassing sounds erupted across my forehead, my cheeks, everywhere — and I had been trying my hardest to endure it, but the moment that warmth touched my lips, I couldn’t hold back anymore and thumped his chest hard.
“Hey, seriously! That’s enough!”
“It’s because our youngest is so precious.”
“Even so, who kisses someone on the lips?!”
“Why not — can’t hyung give his little brother a kiss if he adores him that much?”
“No! I don’t want that!”
“Why not? You don’t want a kiss from hyung?”
“Ugh!”
But despite fierce resistance, Baek Hyunwoo went ahead and kissed me on the lips two more times.
“I’m heading out! Hyung feels so energized thanks to our Sihyeon!”
I wanted to be angry — but he said that with the smile of the happiest person in the world, and there was nothing I could say to that. Right. It’s just a kiss, it’s not a big deal.
Click — the door shut, and the energy drained out of me all at once as I flopped back onto the bed. “What kind of family goes around kissing each other like that at our age?” I grumbled out loud for no real reason — but I also thought I hoped he’d come back soon.
I hate waiting……
Being trapped inside, doing nothing but staring blankly out at the outside — I was sick of it already. Even more so when I was alone. Come back before sunrise, or next time I’m absolutely coming with you. I made that threat to Baek Hyunwoo, who had no way of hearing it, and burrowed under the covers.
