He didn’t even feel the pain in his body anymore. He had no idea what the scene that came to mind was.
“Crazy, no, am I fucking crazy??”
Jieon spun around and around in place like a broken robot. He felt nauseous and dizzy, but that wasn’t what mattered right now.
“A dream? Was it a dream?”
Finally, Jieon began biting his nails. It was a habit he’d only had during his childhood when he was mentally unstable after his parents passed away.
Frustrated that the memory wouldn’t become clear, Jieon smacked his head with his palm. He needed to be certain that the scene in his memory wasn’t real.
However, the scene that flashed through his mind as he struck his head was even more serious. Like paint spreading, the moment when he’d affectionately called Shin Mua’s name unfolded before his eyes.
That pretty, lovely face. The calm yet tender comfort he’d given him. The moment he’d found solace in his presence. The way he’d obediently opened his mouth for Jieon as he approached roughly in his excitement.
‘Mua.’
“S-stop. Stop it, you crazy…!”
Jieon hastily stopped thinking and painfully gripped his hair with both hands. If he could, he wanted to open up this head and wash away all the scenes that kept coming to mind.
“What kind of shitty dream is this, wow fuck, am I really crazy?”
With a thud, Jieon banged his forehead against the wall and muttered like someone who’d lost their mind. It was definitely a dream. If it wasn’t a dream, there was no way he would have done such a thing to Shin Mua, and there was no way Shin Mua would have accepted him like that.
Thud, thud.
Jieon kept banging his forehead against the wall, shaking his head back and forth. He just wanted to pass out like this.
It was because the shock was great, that’s why. Suddenly there was talk of curses and whatnot, a blood-stained talisman came out of the house, he had no choice but to suspect his uncle as the culprit.
Because he’d received quite a shock and even caught a body ache, he’d had this absurd dream of something that absolutely couldn’t and shouldn’t happen. It meant his unconscious was a complete mess.
“…….”
But if it was a dream, could the sensation of his lips and tongue, his endlessly soft skin, be this vivid?
With his forehead against the wall, Jieon fell into thought. Could Mua’s movements clumsily matching his own, the sensation of that sweet tongue tip, be this vivid?
It was true that Jieon had come to feel much closer to Mua after last night’s conversation. Mua’s answer—calmly conveying the facts as they were rather than trying to give false hope, while carefully choosing his words—had melted Jieon’s heart.
He was grateful that Mua had listened seriously to his story, and he even felt fortunate to be with him now when he had no idea what more terrible conspiracy might be hidden.
But even so, how, how could he—to Shin Mua. And to a being from the Afterlife, not even human.
“Just die. Just die, Cheon Jieon.”
Jieon muttered in despair. The most terrible thing was that he’d gotten an erection from the dream scene he’d just recalled. At this point, dying was definitely better.
***
During the time Cheon Jieon was banging his head against the wall, Mua was taking a walk in the park in front of the hotel. Seeing the green grass and trees in the open space seemed to make his blocked-up mind feel somewhat relieved.
The sensation of fresh air filling his lungs felt good. Once upon a time, he’d thought himself pathetic for feeling this was ‘good,’ but he was tired of denying his honest impressions anymore.
“It’ll be cold when winter comes.”
Mua muttered quietly to himself. The late summer weather was still somewhat muggy, but once the sun set, a fairly cool breeze blew. Autumn passes in the blink of an eye, so the days would quickly get cold and winter would arrive, bitter and cold as if it had never been hot.
Mua suddenly stopped in place and savored the midday sun scorching his skin. He even felt like his soul, sick of human malice, was being purified.
He’d lived for well over a hundred years as a non-human being. During that time, Mua had fiercely hated and ridiculed humans. For Mua, being ‘human-like’ was an insult and a criticism. Having endured for such a long time, he thought he’d become completely free from everything that constitutes humanity.
But what about his current self?
How long had it been since he put on a human body—now Mua marveled while eating delicious food and secretly locked himself in his room alone to listen to music.
Not only that. Didn’t he stay up all night watching ridiculous dramas, and didn’t he open the window every morning to bask in the sun for a long time because the season was nice.
And finally.
And finally….
His wandering thoughts returned to the incident from a few days ago that had been troubling Mua all along. That moment when he’d collapsed in absurd pleasure and kissed Cheon Jieon.
But it was fine. Mua had already sorted out that incident in his mind.
“Right. That was an accident. It was a big mistake, but I just won’t do it again.”
That was the conclusion Mua had reached while Cheon Jieon spent all of yesterday sick. He couldn’t make what had already happened un-happen. What he could hope for was that Cheon Jieon might not remember this incident.
Even if he did remember, there was nothing to be done. Mua planned to just pretend not to know. Cheon Jieon would want to forget that incident too, so if neither of them brought it up, it would practically be as if it never happened.
It was a somewhat forced conclusion, but this was the best option. Cheon Jieon had made a mistake because of a sudden rut, and he himself had been caught off guard because it happened too suddenly.
The fact that he’d been aroused by the kiss with him, felt good, or let out shameful moans—all of that never happened. Mua decided to think that way.
Having made up his mind without even hearing Cheon Jieon’s opinion, Mua turned around, thinking he should head back to the room now.
“Hm…?”
Mua stopped again at a strange feeling he suddenly sensed.
Someone was walking in front of Mua as if taking a stroll, and a woman was following behind him. Seen that way, it was a scene with nothing strange about it, but the problem was that the appearance of the woman walking behind was far from ordinary.
Water dripped from the hair of the woman who had her long hair hanging forward enough to cover her eyes and her head bowed. She was only a couple steps away from the man, but the man talked on the phone with his phone to his ear, oblivious to the suspicious-looking woman following him.
Something was strange. He couldn’t explain it precisely in words, but he somehow felt like he was watching a broken screen. Just as Mua, wanting to know more about what the source of the dissonance was, was about to take a step toward them—
The woman disappeared.
“What the.”
Mua stared at the man with a dumbfounded expression. The man was still walking while talking on the phone, but the woman who had been following behind until just 1 second ago was nowhere to be seen.
Since it was a park, there was nowhere to hide nearby, and even if she’d suddenly run away, that process should have been witnessed, but the woman had evaporated as if she hadn’t existed there in the first place.
“Did I see an illusion… huh?”
Am I seeing things now because I didn’t sleep all night? Just as he was thinking that. His already large eyes widened at a sudden realization.
“No way! No way!!”
Mua shouted loudly without realizing it. He didn’t even feel the gazes of passersby. Far from lowering his voice, he even stamped his feet in place.
It couldn’t be helped. Because Mua had just seen a non-human being—the soul of the deceased wandering the Living World, unable to go to the Afterlife.
“Finally…!”
He clenched both fists tight at the surging feeling of emotion. Seeing how it disappeared right away, his ability didn’t seem to have fully returned yet, but what mattered was that he’d seen a soul, even briefly. It was proof that his power as a Grim Reaper was gradually recovering.
Was Seoran’s talisman effective? Or was it simply because time had passed?
Either way, it didn’t matter. As long as his Grim Reaper powers returned, it would really be a huge help in solving this case.
“I need to tell this news quickly…!”
Having muttered that far, Mua turned around and started running toward the hotel. He almost tripped several times because the act of running was still awkward, but he didn’t stop.
He wanted to tell Cheon Jieon right away. He had a feeling that Jieon would be just as happy to hear this news. Even though they’d never actually shared joy through casual conversation, not even once.
Staggering to the hotel elevator, Mua fumbled with the card key. He’d definitely been told how to use it, but maybe because he was in a hurry, his body wouldn’t move as intended.
While he barely managed to press the floor button and waited for the elevator to go up, he clasped both hands tightly together. His heart was pounding and he felt like he kept wanting to smile.
The feeling of wanting to share good news with Cheon Jieon, the desire to share the same joy with him. At this moment, Mua didn’t realize that all of this was unfamiliar to him.
***
“Wh-what! Why are you back already!”
Having just been worried about where he’d gone, Jieon stopped in the middle of the living room in panic when he heard the sound of the door opening. It truly felt like his heart was sinking to the floor.
Should I go back into the room and hide? Should I still pretend to be sick? Why didn’t I just leave and instead wait here? All sorts of thoughts ran through his mind in that brief moment.
But that was only happening inside his head, and in reality, Cheon Jieon was just frozen in place as if nailed down. Soon the door opened, and the face of the person Jieon had wanted so desperately to avoid was revealed.
“Cheon Jieon!”
For some reason, he was extremely excited. Jieon thought he’d have nothing to say even if Mua grabbed him by the collar and asked if he was really crazy, but Mua’s expression didn’t look angry at all.
No, it was even the opposite. He looked somehow excited, and his voice calling Jieon’s name was also higher than usual.
Striding up to Jieon in a few steps, he—Shin Mua, the very person he’d tangled tongues with last night—opened his mouth.
“I think my power has returned a little.”
“Uh, uhhh…?”
At the completely unexpected words, Jieon opened his mouth and made a stupid sound, but Mua didn’t mind and repeated himself.
“I think my Grim Reaper powers are gradually returning. Aren’t you happy?”
In that moment, the Grim Reaper Mua smiled.
The one who always had an indifferent expression and only upset people, the one who’d only spat out coldly annoying words as if he didn’t want to give humans even an iota of interest.
With a smile like sunshine filling his face, clearly holding Jieon’s image in both his pupils, he was smiling so refreshingly.
