“So, you want me to help you find that shaman?”
“That’s right. With my current abilities, there are limits.”
“You were acting all high and mighty by yourself, so why should I help you?”
Displeased with Shin Mua’s attitude, which was unbearably arrogant for someone asking a favor, Jieon crossed his arms and retorted crookedly. Mua still had an indifferent expression.
“Helping me is essentially the same as helping yourself, isn’t it?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Didn’t you say you wanted to sever your ties with ‘Shin Mua’ as soon as possible? When this matter is resolved, I will naturally disappear and Shin Mua’s body will meet its end according to its fate.”
“……”
“Just as you desperately wished, your ties with Shin Mua will be forever severed in this life. So strictly speaking, this isn’t helping me but helping yourself.”
Jieon clenched his fists. The stubborn attitude was so infuriating he could die, but he had nothing to refute since the words weren’t entirely wrong either.
“You really can’t speak properly. Anyway, I understand what you want. I don’t know anything about that area either, so I’ll ask Suchan hyung. He mentioned before that his mother sometimes goes to get her fortune told.”
In the end, though grumbling, it was Jieon who gave in first. However, Mua immediately shook his head at Jieon’s answer, his eyes flashing.
“That fellow’s mother goes to get her fortune told? To a shaman?”
The momentum was so chilling that Jieon involuntarily hesitated. Mua continued.
“What about that fellow called Suchan? Does he also go to get his fortune told or know any shamans?”
“……?”
“Suspicious. It would be better not to tell that fellow.”
“Suspicious? Who? Suchan hyung?”
“Yes. He was already suspicious, but to be close to shamans too—I can’t trust that fellow.”
“Why can’t you trust him?”
Jieon asked back in a voice so gentle it sounded stupid, not even rebutting, because he was so absurd.
If you think about it, it was ridiculous that Shin Mua, the least trustworthy person, was saying someone couldn’t be trusted. And that target was none other than Im Suchan.
It was truly nonsensical, so Jieon doubted his own ears for a moment. However, Mua was still resolute.
“Listen well. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this happened around you. It means there’s a high possibility that someone close to you is connected to this case.”
“Hah…”
Jieon felt a sensation like the world was spinning before his eyes. They say it’s one mountain after another, and the Shin Mua before him was exactly that. Whether Jieon sighed or not, Mua continued as if it were some great deduction.
“So for the time being, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go blabbing about what you’re doing with me to those around you. I’ll let you know once I’m certain they’re not problematic individuals.”
“Are you really messing with me?”
Jieon let out an incredulous laugh.
“The least trustworthy person around me is you, Shin Mua.”
“I’ve already explained everything about that.”
“That’s an explanation? Huh? You going on by yourself about the Afterlife and possession and such—that’s an explanation? And yet I’m trying to listen to what you say somehow, but what? You can’t trust Suchan hyung?”
Even a passing dog would laugh at this. It didn’t matter if it was Suchan himself who had been chasing after shamans all this time, not Suchan’s mother. Jieon didn’t doubt Suchan in the slightest.
“I’m really sorry, but I have no desire to help Mr. Grim Reaper while deceiving Suchan hyung. Okay? If you don’t like it, give up on the help or whatever.”
As he spat out the words, Jieon thought that this time Shin Mua might explode, unable to endure any longer. He originally had a temperament that couldn’t stand Jieon’s sarcasm.
“Tsk, how stupid.”
But Mua merely shrugged his shoulders and reproached Jieon with a light attitude. Though he rebuked him, he didn’t rush at him with fire in his eyes or throw a fit, so compared to the original Shin Mua, it could be said to be quite a moderate attitude.
“You’re more naive than you look. To think there’s always, unconditionally someone you can trust.”
“That’s why it’s ridiculous coming from you.”
“Anyway, if you’re going to invite danger upon yourself, there’s nothing I can do. Do as you please. A shaman’s reputation is often hollow, so look into it carefully and bring me a list. Once you tell me, I’ll meet them myself.”
Jieon looked pathetically at Mua acting as if he were his superior, then opened his mouth at a sudden question.
“But you…”
“……?”
“If I tell you about a shaman, can you go find them alone?”
As Mua’s pupils shook violently, Jieon felt a small sense of satisfaction.
“Do you know how to take a bus or subway? What about a taxi?”
Mua didn’t answer and avoided his gaze. Jieon mocked him to his heart’s content.
“Aigoo, I knew you’d be like that. What are you so confident about when you don’t even know how to do anything?”
“Be quiet.”
“Be honest. You got scolded all the time in the Afterlife for not doing your job properly, didn’t you?”
At the blatant contempt pouring out, Mua flared up for a moment and opened his mouth, but thinking what was the point of bragging to this ignorant human about what a capable Grim Reaper he was, he just kept his mouth shut.
Anyway, the immature and arrogant fellow was rude too, making him truly unlikeable.
“If you’ve said everything, get out.”
“You’re the one who called me saying you had something to say.”
Jieon retorted without losing a single word until the end and left the room. However, by the time he closed the door and came back out to the living room, the smile had already disappeared from his expression.
In fact, as soon as the word shaman came out of Shin Mua’s mouth, Jieon’s mind was in turmoil because of the scene from last night that came to mind.
The black shadow that emitted such oppressive force he couldn’t even breathe properly. Shin Mua’s nonchalant expression calling it his colleague.
Honestly, when he heard just now to find a shaman, Jieon momentarily thought that maybe a shaman could figure out his true identity.
He felt uneasy, as if he was gradually being played by Shin Mua’s lies.
“Why? What did he say?”
Suchan approached with a worried expression and asked. Was it because Shin Mua had suspected Suchan earlier? For some reason, it felt awkward to look Suchan straight in the eyes.
Anyway, just as he’d snapped at Shin Mua, Jieon had no intention of being wary of Suchan. He conveyed Mua’s words to Suchan as they were, excluding the nonsense about needing to suspect those around him.
“So? Are you going to look for a shaman?”
Suchan asked after listening carefully to Jieon’s story. Jieon sprawled out on the sofa and let out a rough sigh.
“I don’t know either. Should I really go along with that ridiculous talk?”
“Well… they say his memory will come back on its own over time, but we don’t know when that will be. He seems to be trying to do something because he’s frustrated too, so would it be a problem to help him a bit?”
“Hmm.”
“It’s not like we’re going to lock him up completely, and we can’t tell him to just stay quietly at home without doing anything until his memory comes back.”
Jieon blinked and stared blankly up at the high ceiling. At one point, he’d seriously considered the method of confining Shin Mua in a mental hospital. Around that time, the self-harm had gotten worse, and Jieon was also in a state where he couldn’t handle him anymore.
The reason he ultimately didn’t do it was because Shin Mua would occasionally shed tears and beg that he wouldn’t do it again. That something inside him seemed broken because of memories of being abused at the orphanage as a child, that he was truly sorry, that he would earnestly receive treatment, so please don’t abandon him.
It was a contractual relationship that would end over time anyway, and even though he would receive generous compensation when that time came, Shin Mua seemed to imagine a future of being miserably abandoned on the streets.
Ridiculously, his heart would soften at such times. Being abandoned by his parents wasn’t his fault, and he thought that because no one took responsibility for him or treated him while growing up, he lived such a painful life. If possible, he hoped that during the time they were bound by contract, he would improve mentally.
So after the divorce, Jieon sincerely wished that he could live happily doing what he really wanted to do.
In someone’s eyes, it might have been petty sympathy, and Jieon didn’t deny that he had a somewhat charitable attitude. However, he thought it wouldn’t be bad if Shin Mua could live a happy life thanks to that.
Perhaps that was the problem. Jieon was a much gentler and softer person than he thought himself to be.
“Hyung, you know what’s really funny?”
Jieon quietly opened his mouth. At the somehow different tone, Suchan focused on his words without answering.
“When that bastard first started going on about memory loss and being a Grim Reaper and all that crap, I was really at a loss, you know? Frustrated, annoyed, disgusted.”
“Mmhm.”
“But now… I don’t know. I’m thinking that maybe it would be better if his memory never comes back.”
It was an honest feeling. It had been a really long time since he’d spent such peaceful time at home. The annoyance and anxiety about Shin Mua spouting nonsense couldn’t compare to the suffering caused by him clinging to him every day before the accident.
“With him now… I mean, with Shin Mua who’s a Grim Reaper, it still seems like compromise is possible. Right now he’s making a fuss about finding the truth, but over time… I feel like we could just part on good terms.”
Absurdly, now that he’d properly gone crazy, it was more reasonable than before the accident. The current him seemed to have no obsession or feelings toward him, so if he promised to help in the future, he might eventually stamp the divorce papers.
“So I’m gradually wanting to believe what he says too, hyung.”
“……”
“Because a Shin Mua who doesn’t torment me anymore is comfortable. But…”
“But?”
“Is it okay to be like this?”
