“But really… you don’t remember anything?”
Yangseon asked as if entranced. He felt strange, as if Mua had become a completely different person.
“That’s right.”
“You don’t remember me either?”
At Yangseon’s words, which he’d asked without realizing, Mua slightly frowned and tilted his head to the side. It was because he felt something off about his question.
Honestly, in a situation where he didn’t even remember the person he’d married, what was a husband’s uncle to ask such a question? Mua opened his mouth again.
“Were we close?”
Yangseon tried hard to shake off the unfamiliar feeling and answered with a good-natured chuckle.
“Jieon thinks of me like a father, and I was the one who brought you two together, so we were fairly close.”
“Mm.”
“You really don’t remember anything about Jieon either?”
“I said I don’t, so why do you keep asking!”
At the repeated question, Mua suddenly shouted. Yangseon’s eyes widened. Not remembering was one thing, but what on earth was with that absurd speech pattern from earlier?
Feeling something was off, Yangseon was about to ask Mua something more when Jieon, who had meanwhile gathered his wits and approached, subtly pulled Yangseon’s arm.
“He’s still in shock and his condition is a bit bad. They say it gets worse if he’s stressed, so later, later.”
Then he gave Mua an annoyed look and continued.
“Hey, I told you to rest, why did you come out?”
“Can’t I move around as I please with my own legs?”
Mua clicked his tongue out of habit and turned around to head toward the kitchen. He seemed thirsty. Jieon, who had been blankly watching Mua walk away in the distance, let out a short sigh and turned back to Yangseon.
“Please understand. He seems very confused since he can’t remember anything.”
“His condition seems really bad.”
“Well, he did hit his head pretty hard…”
“I see.”
It was an unconvincing explanation, but Yangseon nodded for now. Seeing Mua’s condition with his own eyes, there were many strange points, but it felt wrong to grill someone who hadn’t even fully recovered yet. Yangseon patted Jieon’s back and continued.
“You must be struggling when your body isn’t well either.”
“Yes, well…”
“Don’t think too hastily. He’ll recover gradually. But…”
Then Yangseon’s words trailed off strangely. Jieon felt like he knew what he was going to say.
“Your thoughts still haven’t changed?”
Though it was a question without much explanation, Jieon could grasp his intent without difficulty. It was because he’d sought Yangseon’s advice when considering divorce from Mua.
Since he hadn’t revealed all of Shin Mua’s misdeeds for fear his uncle would worry too much, Yangseon didn’t know exactly how terrible the things he’d done were.
Jieon shrugged with an awkward face.
“For now, I’m trying to prioritize recovery. It’s awkward to talk about anything with someone who says they don’t even remember right now.”
“Right. You thought well. Your grandfather was already shocked by news of the accident, so how startled would he be if you said you were getting divorced on top of that? Let’s think about divorce slowly, slowly.”
Yangseon spoke while affectionately comforting Jieon. It had been like this before too. Perhaps because he didn’t know Shin Mua’s true nature, Yangseon didn’t seem to welcome Jieon and Mua’s divorce very much.
For him too, this matter was related to his father’s health, so Jieon understood Yangseon’s reaction. No matter how much he loved his nephew, he couldn’t put him before his father’s health.
While Jieon was calming his mind, Yangseon prepared to leave.
“If you need help with anything, anytime, tell me.”
“Yes, Uncle. Thank you always.”
“Thank you for what, you rascal. You just need to be safe and healthy. Then I should be going.”
“You’re leaving already?”
“You need to rest comfortably too. I also need to go into the company.”
“Yes. Get home safely.”
Jieon saw off Yangseon as he moved his steps. Though he’d asked out of courtesy if he was leaving already, his heart felt much lighter. As he closed the front door and turned around, Shin Mua was looking at him with a blank expression from the kitchen. Jieon suddenly felt his irritation flare up.
“Hey.”
“Why are you calling me?”
“Fine when it’s just us two. Can’t you be careful with your words in front of other people?”
“What did I say?”
“Not what you said, that, that speech pattern!”
“Picking another fight over nothing.”
“Ha…”
Jieon pressed his forehead again. He felt like he’d have better communication talking to a wall. If the Shin Mua before the accident had been someone who only said what he wanted to say, after the accident he’d become someone who didn’t listen to people at all.
Not that one was better than the other—both were the worst. It simply meant that Shin Mua himself was the worst kind of human.
“Do you want to spread rumors that you’re crazy?”
Jieon asked in a voice that had grown even colder.
“If you want to be locked up in a mental hospital, just say so. Don’t go through the trouble of acting.”
Mua tilted his head askew. For Mua, his aggressive attitude was incomprehensible.
Crudely speaking, it wasn’t like he was forcing him to use this speech pattern, and in a situation where he was making a fuss about divorce anyway, to be so bothered by whatever speech pattern he used.
“Is Shin Mua,”
Mua opened his mouth. The voice that called the name ‘Shin Mua’ thoroughly as if it belonged to someone else was uncomfortably alien.
“Your mortal enemy or something?”
“……”
“You want a divorce, so I understand the relationship wasn’t good. But… I’m asking if that child wronged you to the extent that every single one of my words and actions are this terribly hateful and anger-inducing.”
Jieon glared at Shin Mua. It was outrageous that the person who had tormented him terribly for nearly a year was feigning ignorance about everything he’d done and asking, and it was also absurd that he strangely felt like ‘Shin Mua’ and a different person.
“Shin Mua is…”
Jieon, who had opened his mouth quietly, suddenly became flustered and closed his mouth again. It was strange that he’d unconsciously started with ‘Shin Mua is’ instead of ‘You are.’
“Do you know why I haven’t been able to divorce you until now?”
Jieon, who had calmed his noisy insides with a short sigh, deliberately opened his mouth calmly.
“You’d threaten and self-harm in front of me with a knife at every opportunity, saying you’d rather die, you’d kill yourself if I didn’t truly love you.”
“……”
“To me, who tried to take responsibility until the end and end things well somehow since it was a contract I proposed first, the things you did were so…!”
Jieon, who had momentarily raised his voice, hurriedly cut off his words and caught his breath again. He was sick and tired of expending emotion because of Shin Mua. He was no longer a person worth it.
Jieon, who let out a short breath with a huff, continued.
“You don’t remember? You’re a possessed Grim Reaper so it’s not your business?”
“……”
“Right. Must be really comfortable for you that it’s not your business. But just looking at your face acting shamelessly as if you did nothing wrong makes me so disgusted I feel sick. So if you, who are invading my life whether possessed or whatever, really, really have even a minimum of conscience.”
At that moment, the view before Mua’s eyes rippled and alien scenes began to appear.
“Don’t ask questions like what Shin Mua did wrong to me. It fucking pisses off the person listening.”
“Ah…!”
As soon as Jieon’s words ended, Mua staggered while pressing his head with his hand. Suddenly a severe headache surged as if squeezing his brain and his stomach churned. However, Jieon’s face looking at the swaying Mua was only full of mockery.
“Putting on another show? What is it this time?”
“Wait, just a moment… urk…!”
Mua, whose legs lost strength and who fell to his knees, gasped for breath with both hands on the floor.
‘Mua, please… please don’t do this! You’re bleeding!’
‘Let go! Leave me alone!! If we’re getting divorced anyway, doesn’t it not matter if I die? I’ll die without hyung anyway. So just let me die now!!’
Memories that weren’t Mua’s carved through his head like blades. Finally, Mua, who had collapsed on the floor, began trembling while curled up.
“Hey… hey, what’s wrong with you? I told you I won’t fall for it!”
Jieon, who still hadn’t completely shaken off his suspicion but felt something was seriously wrong, asked defensively. But Mua was already not in a state to hear his voice.
‘I said I’d die as hyung wants, so why are you stopping me!!’
He saw blood pooled on the floor, and desperate voices begging him to stop buzzed in his ears. None of it was Mua’s memory.
‘■■a…! No, no. This can’t be. Open… open your eyes, okay?’
And over the unfamiliar scene, voices and sensations familiar to Mua began to layer on. A dry body already grown cold, lips so pale they’d turned blue, a head broken so painfully just from looking.
A soul shattered to pieces.
At the same time, Mua’s body began to convulse so strongly he couldn’t control it himself.
“Hey… hey! What’s wrong with you! Shin Mua, snap out of it!”
Only then did Jieon approach in shock and try to lift Mua’s body, but it was useless. The seizure rapidly worsened and his eyes rolled back, showing the whites. It seemed like forcing him up in this state might cause even greater injury.
Jieon released Mua’s body he’d been trying to force up and hurriedly searched for his phone.
“Fuck, fuck…!”
Curses he didn’t usually use burst out wildly. His hands were slippery and he nearly dropped his phone several times. He’d seen all kinds of things while living with Shin Mua, but this was a first.
When he barely managed to call for help and turned back, Mua, who had at some point stopped seizing, was sprawled limply on the floor.
“Hey…”
Jieon, whose spine grew cold at how he lay as if dead, hurriedly approached Mua and checked his condition. Fortunately, he was breathing.
“Really, every damn thing…”
Really every damn thing, seeing every kind of shitty sight because of this bastard—Jieon, who had been about to scold him like that, soon closed his mouth. It was because he noticed the face soaked with tears shed in that brief moment.
Who’s the one who really wants to cry?
Even while thinking that, his face with closed eyes was so unfamiliar. Even though he clearly had Shin Mua’s appearance, it felt as unfamiliar as facing a stranger for the first time.
Jieon stared blankly at his face until the ambulance dispatched by his call arrived.
