“What are you doing?”
Siwon, flustered by Seongyeom’s behavior, asked. Seongyeom’s brown eyes wavered for a moment, then soon took on determination.
“Earlier… I saw it. President, you also got hard. It must be difficult. I… I can help you too!”
His below that he’d struggled to calm down was already boiling with blood as if it were a second heart. Because of Lee Seongyeom constantly putting him to the test, Siwon felt dizzy.
Ah. What should I really do with this guy? This innocent kid became like this all because of me. Strength went into the hand holding Seongyeom.
“Or… was I not good enough?”
What is this talk now?
At the absurd question, Siwon raised his head again. His eyes, no longer having the strength to be surprised, had lost their venom. Neither the sharp energy of a gangster boss nor the strength to push away someone approaching remained. The fatigue accumulated from not getting proper rest for several days came rushing all at once. He was holding on with a shred of reason against wanting to entrust everything to instinct.
“Stop talking nonsense and sleep.”
“What? Please answer me.”
“Tsk.”
Seongyeom felt his heart sink for a moment. He could guess his feelings from the way he clicked his tongue as if it wasn’t worth answering. I thought we’d gotten a bit closer after the relationship, but I was an idiot for jumping to conclusions on my own.
Maybe even that day’s relationship was just him forcibly holding me to wake me from nightmares. The hyungs said the President doesn’t like doing it with other men. When he recalled the words that he only likes women, he became even less confident.
Siwon, who had been looking toward the window for a moment, desperately wanting a cigarette, suddenly turned his gaze to Seongyeom who had become quiet. At Seongyeom’s appearance whose condition seemed to have rapidly worsened, Siwon once again recommended he lie down.
This time the body that obediently turned over looked particularly small. The gauze layered several times on his shoulder, and the bandages wrapped tightly around it. Everything looked too much for that guy to bear.
“When will you be able to wear comfortable clothes?”
“……”
He asked casually while covering Seongyeom’s thin shoulder with the blanket. This guy who would almost always respond with ten words when one was thrown at him—for some reason there’s no answer. Well, when your body isn’t well, everything can suddenly become tiring.
Siwon passed it off as nothing and patted the small body so Seongyeom could fall asleep.
Seongyeom, lying on his side, quietly gripped the pillowcase almost tearing it. He made a walnut chin and pulled the blanket up over his hunched shoulders to avoid being caught with his eyes welling up.
Was I always such a crybaby? I’m learning this for the first time.
Because I like the words of concern, because the patting touch is quite affectionate. He didn’t want to be caught with his heart that had shattered moments ago becoming soft again so quickly. If I get caught being such an easy guy, I’ll obviously be laughed at.
“……”
When the patting touch stopped at some point, Seongyeom opened his eyes that he’d been trying to keep closed. In the room where conversation had stopped, only the sound of the air conditioner running could be heard. Even knowing that Siwon was right there if he just turned his head, one corner of his heart felt cold. The excessively spacious room felt distant.
Seongyeom’s gaze went to the small glass window above the bathroom door where the light was off. Just then, he was suddenly overcome with the feeling that that kid from three years ago might be looking at him with blood-red eyes from there.
“……”
When the mechanical sound of the air conditioner stopped, complete silence arrived. Since Siwon wasn’t right in front of him, Seongyeom felt like he’d been left alone in this space. His breathing grew louder and he could even hear the sound of blood flowing through his blood vessels. Seongyeom couldn’t take his eyes off the glass window above the bathroom, and lowered the hand that had been gripping the pillow. Then he urgently pressed down firmly on the bed mattress.
With his other hand, he grabbed his increasingly heaving chest and squeezed his eyes shut in preparation for the hallucination that would soon come.
It’ll be one of two things. Either this room will get smaller, or that kid will appear.
…Or, both.
It was around the time his pulse quickened and his closed eyes trembled.
“Huk!”
Another person’s touch reached his body. Seongyeom snapped his eyes open. The room hadn’t gotten smaller. That bastard with red eyes—wasn’t there either. Seongyeom, who had sweated like rain in just a moment, escaped the panic and caught his breath. At the touch repeatedly patting his body, when he looked up behind him……
“…President?”
He saw Siwon dozing off while propping his head up.
Seongyeom turned his body completely, feeling both absurd and relieved. Siwon was nodding off, dropping his head, truly exhausted.
Seongyeom, who quietly raised his body so as not to wake Siwon, wiped his sweat-drenched forehead and looked around the room. It was definitely a spacious room, but perhaps because it was dark, the anxious feeling wouldn’t go away. He’d been told he could turn on the lights as he pleased while staying here, but he didn’t want to do something the President didn’t like. Because I don’t want to fall out of favor.
I’ll try to endure a bit more… though I’m not confident…
Seongyeom removed the long pillow that had been supporting his back so Siwon could sleep more comfortably. He moved stealthily and also removed the blanket. Looking closely at the dozing Siwon while opening his mouth wide, his gaze suddenly went to his lips.
“Can a gangster boss be this defenseless?”
Seongyeom moved a bit closer and tilted his head as if to kiss Siwon’s lips. Since he’d saved him from almost falling into panic earlier, he wanted to repay him.
‘Actually, rather than repayment… I just want to do it…’
Seongyeom drew close to his lips with a ticklish heart. Just then, the words of the organization member hyungs echoed in his ear.
The Boss is heterosexual? He likes women.
Right.
I almost made a mistake again. I almost repaid kindness with enmity.
Seongyeom quickly pulled back his head and gently pulled the arm Siwon had been propping himself up with. When his posture relaxed, after tossing and turning a few times, Siwon pillowed his arm and fell back asleep. Seongyeom gave a faint smile.
I’m lucky today. To avoid my chronic illness and even see such various sides of the President.
The President asleep wearing a soft white short-sleeved knit looked exactly like a strong angel fallen from heaven. A fighting angel.
Seongyeom, who had been spreading his wings of imagination alone, slightly brushed aside Siwon’s bangs that had come undone from their setting while still stiffly hardened with remaining wax.
“Such a high nose bridge…”
With a high nose bridge, his eyes are also deep-set. Along his cheekbones that protruded due to lack of flesh and his jawline, faint scars remained. They weren’t visible from afar, and could barely be seen at a close enough distance for breath to touch. Ah, he has a mole on his ear too? Whoa, his ears are pierced too.
Seongyeom examined Siwon’s handsome face from various angles, then turned his eyes to his body. I didn’t know because I was distracted, but he has quite a lot of small scars on his body. Most were scars presumed to have been scratched and cut by sharp things and then healed. As Seongyeom touched one of them, he frowned at the bumpy skin. For no reason, it stung as if his own body had been cut by a knife.
The fact that Siwon was a gangster who swung his fists hit home anew. And he also recalled being caught up in his fight. If I hadn’t died, I wouldn’t be like this—thinking that I really could have met my end in that sewer-like place in an instant makes my heart sink even now.
But why was it? Seongyeom didn’t want to hold back the heart hopelessly falling for the man before his eyes. Far from that, he felt like it would be okay to become even more terribly entangled with this person. He couldn’t understand what kind of baseless dangerous thought this was even himself.
Siwon had his mouth slightly open, as if deeply asleep. Seongyeom giggled quietly. Just as he had done earlier, while gently rubbing Siwon’s lower lip, he asked.
“President. Are you really asleep?”
“……”
“Are you going to fire me when I recover? You know this happened while working, so you have to process it as a work-related injury, right? If I report it, President, you might be in big trouble.”
Seongyeom stared blankly at Siwon’s lips touching his fingertips, then slyly changed his words.
“…But I won’t report it. Because I don’t like the President being in trouble.”
“……”
“Can’t I just keep staying by President’s side?”
“……”
“Can’t I like President a bit…? Huh? I’ll even cut my salary for you?”
“……”
“I’ll only take a little compensation money too.”
“……”
“Ah, are you really sleeping?”
Geez.
Seongyeom lay down next to Siwon and closed his eyes.
No, at times like this it should develop like in movies or dramas. When a pretty female protagonist says this, the male protagonist who was pretending to sleep goes boing! Gets up and says, actually, I heard everything. I like you too, shall we have a commemorative kiss? Like that. And… like, hm? Hm? Finally a tender love story begins…
“…Sigh.”
They said I won’t be fired right away because the kids’ exam period is coming soon. There’s also money I received in advance, and if I somehow endure one more month, they’ll give me a generous amount whether it’s salary or whatever. If they say something different later, I’ll also just report them to the police station!
…Though I don’t know if I’ll have such guts.
Seongyeom sneakily turned his head to look at Siwon sleeping soundly.
Since they said the President likes women, holding me must have been an unavoidable accident. Since it’s come to this, as always, I’ll just look at handsome men and earn money, what.
Right, that’s actually much better. Rather than clingily hanging on, I’ll cleanly acknowledge what should be acknowledged, only see good things, and live happily. Because life is too short to only do fun things!
“Geez… But it still hurts a bit…”
Seongyeom pouted his lips. To give up on Siwon right away, I have lingering attachment. Seongyeom decided to move his body before his thoughts deepened, while rubbing his chest that was becoming sore.
“……”
Siwon quietly opened his closed eyes. He quietly gazed at Seongyeom’s back as he made groaning sounds due to his injured shoulder while pulling over the blanket, then when he seemed about to turn around, Siwon closed his eyes again as if it had never happened.
