# Chapter 33
Doha thought of himself as a person with strong patience. But there are different types of endurance. While some endure hunger to diet, and others resist the temptation to play and study instead, Doha was the type who could endure physical pain well.
When the reason he had to endure pain was Jaei, he actually didn’t feel the pain much. He once had such a thought: if Jaei covered his nose and mouth with his palm, he would probably just hold his breath until death without even struggling.
That’s not to say that Lee Doha lacked the “ability to resist the urge to kiss the lips of the person he loved,” or that he was a person who couldn’t endure that kind of desire. Rather, the problem was that he had endured for too long. After meeting Jaei and realizing he loved him, he suppressed his love dozens of times a day. The dam of patience, which should have burst long ago, had only burst today.
He thought he was an amazing person for ending it with just a kiss. Of course, that doesn’t mean he wasn’t at fault. He’s not trying to blame Jaei, who stared at him intently and fluttered his lips. He was willing to pretend to die if Jaei told him to. Though he had no intention of actually dying.
“If you tell me to die, I’ll die!”
Doha, who had been pleading for forgiveness with his hands together, soon cutely clenched his fists and rolled around on the floor, pretending to die.
But Jaei judged that there was no sincerity in this display. It wasn’t the behavior of someone who was regretting their wrong. With all traces of a smile completely erased from his face, he strictly commanded like a superior.
“Stop playing around and get up right now, Lee Doha.”
“Yes, sir.”
Doha, who wasn’t really planning to feel remorseful, had been rolling on the floor but jumped up at Jaei’s command. He neatly fixed his clothes and stood across from Jaei with his hands behind his back like a soldier receiving punishment. The 26-year-old Mr. Lee Jaei, who had been surprise-kissed, tried to resolve this embarrassing situation like an adult with a deliberately calm expression.
“It’s true that I was a bit surprised, but it’s okay.”
Doha sighed and wiped his chest. He bowed his head to pay respect to Jaei, who had graciously forgiven his insolent act. If he hadn’t been forgiven by Jaei and had to end their relationship, he might have regretted the moment of kissing so much that he would have wanted to reset his life and be born again.
Jaei, the elder, crossed his arms and stood, speaking in an affectionate but stern voice to make it clear that Doha didn’t need to feel guilty.
“Thinking about it, it seems like we can kiss to some extent. It’s not a big deal, so don’t worry about it.”
“Thank you so much for understanding. I’ll be careful.”
“Right, then I’ll be going now. Let’s do it again next time.”
Doha, who was about to turn and leave, asked with wide eyes.
“What? Again next time?”
Jaei had clearly just said “Let’s do it again next time.” It was as if he had said “Let’s go to that restaurant again next time.” Doha tilted his head and sank into thought.
He stared at Jaei, blinking his large eyes. As he was just looking at him with a puzzled expression, Jaei, who was about to turn around, continued as if wondering what the problem was.
“Why. Don’t you want to do it again?”
“No, I want to do it every day. Three times a day.”
He had no way of understanding Jaei’s mind, but he couldn’t miss the opportunity given to him. Doha, who was on high alert, hurriedly bid for three kisses a day, like someone attending an auction.
“Okay. Three times.”
“Really?”
Surprisingly, the bid was accepted. Had he known this would happen, he would have called for five times a day. Soon, Jaei began to blame himself with an expression full of regret.
“I should have kissed you more when you were younger.”
“Exactly. I think I’ve become like this because you didn’t kiss me much on the lips, sir. I have a deficiency in kisses.”
Doha was now able to grasp the shape of Jaei’s heart. If Jaei’s words were interpreted simply and literally, the “relationship where we can kiss to some extent” he referred to meant a “sibling relationship with a big age difference.” In Lee Jaei’s eyes, Lee Doha was still a baby, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with kissing such a baby. He felt a bit disappointed inside.
Jaei, while kneading Doha’s cheeks, which had notably less to grab due to his diet, spoke calmly and shamelessly.
“Why did I become a brother who didn’t even properly kiss you? It’s all my fault for raising you like this. I should wash away my sins with kisses.”
Sighing deeply, blaming his method of education, Jaei soon lightly pressed his lips to Doha’s forehead to wash away his wrongdoings. Holding the startled Doha tightly with both hands, he kissed his left cheek with a smack, his right cheek with a smack, and his nose bridge with multiple smacks. Doha, who suddenly received Jaei’s kisses all over his face, urgently called out to him.
“Hyung, Hyung! You haven’t forgotten, right? That I like you—”
Before Doha could finish his words, Jaei firmly held Doha’s face and pressed his lips against Doha’s. With their lips stacked so that the soft lips went in, he kissed twice with a smacking sound. Doha, with wide eyes, vigorously waved his hands again and shouted.
“Wait a moment! Hyung, are you playing with me?”
“Stop saying useless things and just receive the kisses.”
For a moment, Jaei’s expression turned serious, and he glared at Doha with cold eyes. Submitting to that gaze, Doha surrendered his lips to Jaei’s soft ones. Jaei fluttered his lips five times in succession with their lips pressed together. Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack. And then he detached his lips briefly before kissing the plump lower lip once more.
Doha, who had received Jaei’s kisses 13 times in succession and lost his mind, felt his legs weaken and sat down on the floor like a vagrant. While Doha clutched his chest and breathed heavily, Jaei, like someone who had completed a significant task, walked backward with a refreshed expression, waving both hands.
“It’s done. Let’s do it again tomorrow. Goodbye then.”
Jaei, who had slipped into the bedroom, closed the door with a thud. And so, only Doha remained alone on the living room floor. Doha began to analyze the event that had just happened to him, rolling his large eyes incessantly from side to side.
No matter how he thought about it, Jaei was enjoying the kisses. The movement of his lips against his own was hard to think of as kisses given to a beloved baby. Is it okay to do this kind of thing when they’re not even dating, or even worse, when he has someone he’s dating?
But it was also true that Jaei loved the person Lee Doha too much for this to be simply toying with him. The love he had shown for the past 11 years was too sincere to be caught up in feelings of victimhood and shout, “Are you playing with me right now?” If he loved him enough to give all the blood in his body, is it strange that he would want to kiss too? Combining these two facts, one conclusion was drawn.
“Has Hyung opened his heart to me…?”
The moment he realized this fact, he covered his mouth with his hand. He immediately stood up, ran to Jaei’s bedroom, and turned the doorknob. But the door was locked. As the handle rattled, Jaei responded from inside the room.
-Yes, Doha. What’s wrong? Hyung is going to sleep.
Jaei didn’t open the door. Doha thought this locked doorknob was his open heart. Doesn’t it mean that Lee Doha, who was once just a harmless baby bear to Lee Jaei, has now become such an uncomfortable subject that he has to lock the door? Just confirming that he was not a comfortable subject for Jaei felt like he had gained half the world.
He wanted to plead for Jaei to accept him right now and love him freely, but he understood Jaei’s heart, which couldn’t readily do so. He also didn’t want to give Jaei a guilty conscience through immature behavior. Doha slowly released the doorknob and greeted him affectionately.
“Sleep well, Hyung. Don’t stay up. Don’t listen to scary sounds. If you can’t sleep, call me. I’ll sleep quietly and nicely beside you. I promise not to do anything weird.”
-Okay. Thanks for worrying. Good night, Doha.
Doha, who was about to retreat obediently, tried a push and pull with a playful voice just before leaving. After enduring for 11 years, the time had finally come for him to engage in mutual love’s playful banter.
“Ah, before I go to sleep, let me ask one thing. It’s about acting. What if you immerse yourself in a script and actually fall in love? You’re not that type, but there are so many actors like that, so I’m a bit worried. Should I also follow my heart for good acting?”
The door flung open as soon as he finished speaking. A highly sensitized fox had its large ears and the corners of its eyes raised. Jaei, who strode up to Doha, stood on his tiptoes and headbutted Doha’s head.
Doha was momentarily stunned by the sudden headbutt. This was the most aggressive behavior among all the behaviors Jaei had shown over the past 11 years. The only attacks he knew how to do were at most shouting that he would burst him while tightly embracing with both arms, kneading his cheeks, and crushing him by lying on top of him with his whole body.
And at that moment, Doha’s gaze toward Jaei became even more affectionate.
“I think I’ve fallen for you again.”
“Suddenly? Why?”
“Well… because you treated me carelessly…?”
Jaei was surprised at Doha’s answer and covered his mouth with his hand. It was the moment when the point at which 8-year-old Ryu Doha presumably first felt attracted to 8-year-old Lee Jaei was newly updated.
