Crackle. He felt a light spark for a moment. Kang Hyeseong’s eyes immediately twisted fiercely. As he tried to jerk his hand away, Yeoul desperately grabbed him with his gloved hand.
“Please, hyung. Please…?”
“No. You just saw. It’s too much for you….”
“Then, you want me to only do hand guiding from now on? For the rest of my life?”
At Yeoul’s last words, Kang Hyeseong stopped breathing for a moment. Had he wavered even a little at his desperate words? Yeoul didn’t miss the opportunity and continued persuading in a calm tone.
“Hyung. I’m a soldier too. I also… want to know my limits as a guide and gain experience.”
In truth, more than developing his abilities as a guide, all he wanted was to be helpful to Kang Hyeseong. However, if he said he’d push forward ‘because I want to help hyung,’ another rejection would obviously come back. Along with that familiar ‘it’s okay’ that he’d heard so much he was sick of it by now.
So Yeoul decided to change strategies. Say he wanted to challenge his limits as a soldier and as an ability user. Rather than appealing to personal feelings as a cherished younger sibling, he decided to suggest it as his junior, team member, and guide.
Continuing only low-level guiding as a guide had significantly low potential for development in the long term. Just because the process of expanding one’s vessel was painful didn’t mean one could live with ability levels as small as a soy sauce dish for life—that was what Yeoul was arguing.
As far as he knew, Kang Hyeseong would reject his proposal for his sake, but he was someone who would reconsider anything for Kim Yeoul’s sake.
“Intimacy isn’t a fixed and unchanging domain. It’s something that can be developed. We’ve become much more familiar with mixing waves while guiding. As ability users, hyung and I have already become much closer. Then can’t we try something new?”
“……”
“I just want to do better as a guide. I want to become a bit more confident as a member of R1. I want to properly help my Esper. So, please…?”
Yeoul finished speaking with a desperate heart. Without even knowing himself the deep sincerity concentrated in his last words.
A not-short silence flowed, and Hyeseong let out a deep sigh.
“…You really…”
A firm hand gently stroked Yeoul’s head.
“What am I supposed to do with you?”
It was a muttered soliloquy filled with a sense of defeat. However, Yeoul could already read faint consent in his softened voice.
Kang Hyeseong had always been like this from before. Though he was firm as if not even a blade could enter, when he saw him sad and dejected, he couldn’t just pass it by. The memory of him taking a day off on a weekend afternoon to take him to the ski resort was still vivid, even though he had insisted he couldn’t go to the ski resort with friends all night.
“…If you feel even slightly off, you have to tell me right away.”
Finally, permission was granted.
“Don’t lie and say you’re okay, and don’t force yourself to endure. Enduring won’t solve anything. Understand?”
“Yeah! I’ll really keep it in mind.”
Yeoul’s face brightened instantly. How difficult was it to obtain this permission? It was an embrace he normally didn’t know was precious and hugged into carelessly, and he’d even pushed it away countless times saying it was bothersome and embarrassing. But the moment he tried to do this damn guiding, it became the hardest person in the world to touch.
“But first put on guiding gloves on both hands. Let’s start slowly. Try touching my arms first.”
“Okay.”
Yeoul, who had put gloves on both hands, carefully reached out and grasped his arms. And while performing guiding, very slowly, like a snake crawling up a tree branch, to his shoulders, to his stomach, to his chest… he slid his hands.
Was it his imagination? The firm body seemed to flinch slightly. Breath slowly leaked out from his chest that had swelled greatly. He still didn’t feel anything. Then…
“Now… let’s try it.”
Yeoul, who had withdrawn the guiding for a moment, carefully embraced his torso. Kang Hyeseong also spread his arms wide as if responding, offering his embrace.
He pressed his temple against the broad chest and listened to the sound of his heart pounding vigorously. There was no particular protective gear on his face, but since he was wearing clothes and it wasn’t completely bare skin touching, it seemed it would be okay.
Familiar warmth rushed in and the tensed muscles gradually began to relax. Yeoul tightly embraced his torso with both hands and repeated several times.
It’s okay. Don’t be nervous.
Kang Hyeseong won’t hurt me.
There’s no way we won’t match……
“I’ll start.”
Yeoul, who took a deep breath, closed his eyes. Held in the embrace that firmly hugged him as always, he opened the door of sensation that had been closed for a moment. Slowly, very slowly…
Kang Hyeseong’s waves that had withdrawn for a moment were coming this way.
Yeoul slowly and carefully accepted the impurities of power that raged roughly like a wild horse. Continuing to breathe deeply, he just observed the pitch-black swirling ability without judgment. Yeoul now instinctively knew that if he rashly tried to control it with his hands, he would be swept away.
Like a sponge, he gradually absorbed and sucked in his ability. It seemed like very small static electricity jumped from his hands and feet, but it soon subsided.
Even though he had fully accepted Kang Hyeseong’s power into his body, he didn’t feel like his vision was going dark or like he would vomit. His consciousness was also very clear. Perceiving the waves rushing in harmoniously like high tide and low tide, Yeoul realized.
There was no rejection reaction.
He had succeeded in accepting Kang Hyeseong’s waves in a method other than hand guiding.
Elation spread through his chest. Though he was happy enough to jump, Yeoul calmed his mind and drew an image of light gathering in one place inside his body. It was training he’d done countless times as a trainee.
And he imagined dropping white paint on pitch black, and dropping it again. One drop, another drop…
The lump of power that was so pitch black you couldn’t distinguish what was ahead gradually became lighter. At the same time, the volume of dazzling light held in his body grew bigger and bigger, and its presence became clearer. Yeoul carefully controlled his breathing and repeated that work.
“…Ul-ah.”
Thump, thump, thump… Yeoul, who had been deeply immersed in the sound of the heart regularly beating him, didn’t hear his call at once. Kang Hyeseong asked again.
“Yeoul. Are you okay?”
“Ah, I’m okay…. I’m just concentrating. How about you, hyung?”
“…Good.”
“How does it compare to before?”
Yeoul asked while very carefully flowing the purification waves he had preciously gathered into the Esper in contact with him.
“…There’s no comparison.”
The chest touching his ear resonated like a cave. A low and clear voice.
“This feeling… is a first.”
At the unexpectedly honest confession, Yeoul suddenly felt overwhelmed. He thought he’d be happy enough to jump if he succeeded. But once he actually succeeded, it didn’t end with just being happy.
His chest became hot and choked up, and the bridge of his nose stung. He wanted to make Kang Hyeseong even a little more comfortable. And yet he’d also trembled in anxiety about whether he could really do it…
His heart pounded. Waves of joy like a tide crashed over him at the fact that he had accepted, controlled, and purified his enormous waves. His throat felt tight.
“…Really? Really?”
“Look at the meter reading, Yeoul.”
Wanting confirmation like a child, Yeoul asked again. Hyeseong very carefully patted Yeoul’s back and whispered affectionately.
Yeoul turned his head with a trembling heart. And then, soon after seeing the number on the meter, his eyes widened.
57%.
A number he’d never seen in his life was blinking inside the display. Even while looking at it, he couldn’t believe it and blinked his eyes several times and looked again. He had finally succeeded in lowering Kang Hyeseong’s wave levels below 60%.
“…I’m so happy. Really.”
Yeoul muttered in a small voice.
“I’m so happy that I can be this helpful to hyung…”
Unable to contain his overwhelming feelings, Yeoul buried his face in his chest. And he rubbed his nose to his heart’s content. The waves that endlessly penetrated into his body riding on the pounding heartbeat no longer felt burdensome.
Breathing in his scent to his heart’s content, Yeoul opened the door even wider. So he could absorb his waves better. And so he could return waves made as clean as pure white.
“Ul-ah. Our Ulie.”
He gathered Yeoul even closer in his arms. The soft resonance transmitted through his chest felt so good that Yeoul closed his eyes and clung closer to him.
“What am I going to do with you being so good?”
“…Hm?”
“A guide shouldn’t be like this. Trying to give everything, trying to do everything… You can’t be too good to an Esper.”
His voice was tinged with a bitter smile. Yeoul pouted from within his embrace.
“Hyung isn’t just any Esper… you’re my Esper.”
“……”
“You’re my precious hyung.”
