“…Huh?”
Kang Hyeseong raised his eyebrows with slightly flustered eyes. The air in the room suddenly became awkward. What’s the problem? Yeoul’s face, who had inadvertently mulled over his own words while wondering, turned bright red in an instant.
“No, no, hyung! It’s not that! That’s not what I meant!”
“Hm? What did you mean then?”
“D-don’t misunderstand! It doesn’t mean anything!”
“I don’t really know what misunderstanding you’re talking about.”
His handsome lips formed a beautiful smile. Watching him giggle with his fine face, Yeoul stomped his feet. Annoying Kang Hyeseong. He knows I made a mistake and he’s doing that on purpose to tease me.
“I mean, it’s not our first night! First day, night! The first day’s night since we moved into the quarters!”
“I know. Who said otherwise?”
“Hyung… you were smiling all annoyingly! You teased me!”
“Your face looks just like a ripe persimmon, our baby.”
It felt like steam would burst out of his ears. Getting all excited with motivation and saying weird things… It was useless even though he belatedly resented his own mouth.
Ah, the more my face turns red like this, the more strangely Hyeseong will think. More than the embarrassment, his anxious heart was bigger. However.
“I did it because you were cute. And who said they’d misunderstand it in that way? As if baby saying something like that would matter.”
As if it was hilarious that he said such a thing, Kang Hyeseong smiled with an unguarded expression and stroked his head. As if you don’t even know what ‘first night’ means.
He doesn’t even think of me in that way at all.
Of course, I didn’t want him to think that way either, but still… For a moment, hurt feelings welled up toward Kang Hyeseong who completely treated him like a child. However, Yeoul tried to calm his heart and led him onto the bed.
“Whatever. Forget it, just hurry and give me your hand. So I can guide.”
Yeoul, who pouted sullenly, firmly put gloves on both hands and thoroughly prepared to guide. So that I won’t get scolded by Kang Hyeseong again and have the guiding stopped.
Kang Hyeseong obediently sat next to him. The two sat side by side facing forward, leaning against the headboard and holding hands. As he concentrated while interlocking fingers between his, he could feel his waves gradually flowing in beyond his palm.
“How is it? Are you okay? Any feeling of chest pain?”
“I’m fine. When I wear gloves, it really doesn’t bother me at all.”
As soon as the guiding started, Kang Hyeseong asked somewhat sensitively. Yeoul immediately shook his head to reassure him.
Contrary to having collapsed with a nosebleed, wearing guiding gloves really didn’t bother him at all. During training, he had doubts about how much protection guiding gloves could provide, but the defensive effect seemed to be greater than he thought.
‘They’re so tangled…’
Was it because it was his second attempt at guiding? He could feel slightly more detailed sensations than the first time. When I first received Kang Hyeseong’s waves, I was busy being surprised, afraid, and admiring his wave output and strength. Today, I could vaguely feel how disheveled his waves were, how tangled they were.
I don’t know if I can express it this way, but it’s like the residue of incredibly strong and solid power? So should I say it feels like impurities…
As he closed his eyes and concentrated on receiving and purifying his waves, sweat beaded on his forehead. When Yeoul raised his remaining hand to wipe his forehead, Hyeseong wiped Yeoul’s forehead with his palm before that.
“You’re really okay, right? If you’re even a little uncomfortable, you have to tell me right away, Kim Yeoul.”
“I know. I’m not uncomfortable at all, so stop worrying.”
Yeoul gripped Hyeseong’s hand even tighter as if he would escape at any moment. The numbers on the measuring device in front of him were going down little by little, very little by little. That was all that mattered to Yeoul right now.
’63… 62. 61.’
Had they been guiding for about 20 minutes? The number that had been 65% became 61%. Yeoul glanced at his complexion.
It might be his imagination, but it seemed like his skin, which had always been pale to the point of being sensitive, had a bit more color. His ice-cold hands seemed to have warmed up a bit too…
“How is it? Hyung. Does it feel okay? I don’t know if I’m doing well.”
Warmth swirled in Kang Hyeseong’s loosely relaxed eyes. Just like someone waking from a pleasant dream. Seeing the pupils filled with faint alertness instead of fatigue, a light thrill ran through him.
“Yeah. I almost fell asleep.”
He smiled with a languid face.
“Don’t worry. Your guiding feels good, Yeoul.”
At the more honest impression than expected, it felt like a small flower bloomed in his chest. His heart, which had been fine until now, beat lightly. Saying that guiding feels good was truly an exciting and proud compliment as a guide.
“…To the point where I kind of hate myself for this.”
“Why? If it feels good, isn’t it just good?”
However, Kang Hyeseong’s words added like a mumble weren’t well understood. Yeoul tilted his head. Come to think of it, he seemed to have said something with a similar nuance last time too.
Kang Hyeseong let out a deep sigh.
“Your body is already so delicate. If something goes wrong, I could burden you or hurt you… how could I only feel good about it?”
“I’m fine, really. If I don’t take off the gloves, it really doesn’t bother me at all.”
I won’t take off the gloves for a while. Yeoul subtly emphasized “for a while” to reassure him. However, Hyeseong still had a dissatisfied expression.
“And… there’s another problem.”
“What problem…?”
“……”
It wasn’t just because of health…? He couldn’t figure out what else was the problem. Yeoul just blinked silently. At the question asked because he truly didn’t understand, Kang Hyeseong, unlike himself, was silent for quite a while.
Following that, he let out a second sigh with a “haah,” and looked somehow troubled.
“…Espers have a habit of becoming obsessed with partners they guide well with. It’s instinctive.”
Yeoul, who had been bewildered, soon burst into a soft laugh. He looked so troubled saying he hated himself or whatever, so I thought it was some seriously grave problem.
“So what if we get a bit obsessed with each other, hyung and me? Am I going to run away somewhere? Speaking of which, I’ve been obsessed with hyung since I was young, haven’t I?”
However, Kang Hyeseong firmly shook his head.
“That’s not what I mean.”
“…Hm?”
It was becoming more and more confusing. Kang Hyeseong, who had been looking at Yeoul with wide eyes, closed and opened his eyes intently. After moving his lips several times and rolling the words in his mouth, he finally spat it out.
“Sexual feelings. The obsession that espers feel.”
“……”
It felt like being hit on the back of the head. At the completely unexpected words, Yeoul closed his mouth with a flustered face.
So, hyung… hated feeling those kinds of emotions.
Hyeseong’s actions that he hadn’t understood well since last time finally fit together like puzzle pieces in his head. With an uncomfortable silence, the atmosphere became awkward in an instant.
“Of course, there’s no way I’d feel something like that toward you.”
“……”
“You’re no different from my family.”
Hyeseong finished speaking in a low voice. Then, as if nothing had happened, he gently leaned his head on Yeoul’s shoulder.
Yeoul had to bite down hard so that he wouldn’t put strength into his hand holding his. His heart swayed miserably.
Don’t talk in such a firm voice.
After doing that, don’t lean on me like it’s nothing.
Me, who feels ‘those’ feelings toward hyung who calls me like family… I become so small and shabby.
He kept wanting to become sad. However, he could never show these emotions to Kang Hyeseong. Especially not to Kang Hyeseong who had just declared, ‘There’s no way I’d feel those emotions toward you, who’s no different from my family.’
“…Come to think of it, is there only one bedroom here?”
To shake off the sinking feeling, Yeoul changed the subject. When Hyeseong, who had been leaning on his shoulder, answered “Yeah,” a low rumble was transmitted through his skin.
“It seems so. There’s only this one bed too.”
“…Then I’ll sleep on the sofa.”
“What nonsense are you saying? It’s not like we’ve only slept together once or twice.”
Hyeseong chuckled. As if it was absurd. Kang Hyeseong wouldn’t be uncomfortable sleeping with him at all, but he, who was conscious of him, was different. At least for today.
Yeoul, who had been biting his rolled lip, retorted in a subdued voice.
“…Still, I think it’d be more comfortable to sleep separately.”
“Hmm…”
He lifted his head that had been leaning. Then he turned his head and stared at Yeoul intently. Unable to bear meeting the gaze transmitted so intensely, Yeoul lowered his eyes.
“Why does baby seem to be keeping distance from hyung today?”
The slow voice felt somewhat chilly.
“Is it because of what I said about obsession and such?”
“……”
“If that’s the case, you don’t have to worry. It’ll absolutely never happen with you. I’ll be careful so I won’t make you uncomfortable, Yeoul.”
“…I’m not worried about that.”
At the wall being built up even more solidly in the name of protecting him, Yeoul became more and more unable to bear it.
After spitting it out sullenly and turning his head away, Hyeseong, who had been watching Yeoul for a while, slowly got up from his seat.
“I’ll bring in another bed. You sleep in the bed tonight. I’ll sleep in the living room.”
“……”
“And don’t overdo the guiding, let’s just do this much. Thank you. Thanks to you, my body feels much lighter.”
He stroked Yeoul’s head over and over. At the kind voice wishing him good night, Yeoul could only nod.
Good night. Yeoul returned the greeting in a small voice.
