“…Why would you go that far?”
The choked-up Yeoul glared at Hyeseong. In the 13 years of life he’d spent together with Kang Hyeseong, had he ever been this hateful?
“Is it because you’re worried about me? Yeah, of course it would be dangerous since it’s near gates. But I’m an adult now, my heart function has almost recovered, and soon I’ll officially become a Guide.”
“……”
“But hyung still treats me like a baby. Sometimes I think you have a tendency to be overprotective of me. I know you worry about me, but I’ll be going to the field with Espers anyway…”
“The field is more dangerous than you think. Whatever you imagine, it’s much more than that.”
He showed no sign of wavering. He was like a wall so solid and stubborn it felt hopeless.
“Do you know what the first thing you do when you go to the field for the first time on a rescue team? Write a will.”
“……”
“The videos they show during training don’t capture even half of half of what the field is really like. News of the deaths of colleagues who were with us just yesterday comes whenever you start to forget. Even when they die in the line of duty, there are many cases where we can’t even find the body. How do you think I feel handing an empty ossuary to my colleague’s bereaved family?”
His heart sank hearing the devastating content spoken in a calm tone. Yeoul’s eyes shook briefly. Hyeseong continued in a subdued voice.
“I understand your resolve well, Yeoul. That mindset is very good for a soldier. But I’m not saying this as soldier Kang Hyeseong, but as the hyung from next door who’s cherished you like my younger brother my whole life.”
“……”
“I don’t want to lose another precious person in the field.”
The moment he heard the last words, the resistance and rebellion that had filled Yeoul’s eyes lost their strength. Yeoul blinked with a dazed face.
His heart ached dully. Because he felt like he’d made Kang Hyeseong recall bad memories. At the same time, his heart fluttered obliviously. Because he was such a precious existence to hyung.
Enough to shake Kang Hyeseong, who was always unwavering and solid, to this extent, and enough for the words “abuse of authority” to come from the mouth of someone rumored to be an FM soldier without hesitation…
“…Hyung.”
This time Yeoul reached out first and carefully covered the back of Kang Hyeseong’s hand placed on the table.
“I didn’t think about… hyung’s feelings.”
“……”
“Hyung was worried about me, but I’m sorry for saying harsh things like overprotective and stuff.”
He’d forgotten for a moment. He’d just treated Kang Hyeseong’s worry as mere excessive concern. Filled with thoughts of wanting to save suffering Espers like Kang Hyeseong, he hadn’t been able to consider his anxiety. The person who had saved numerous citizens but couldn’t even find his own father’s body was him.
There were problems that even S-grade Espers, of which there were only a few in the world and who were said to be the strongest on earth, couldn’t solve. Before misaligned timing and cruel fate, human existence was ultimately infinitely powerless and nothing more than small dust that could do nothing. Kang Hyeseong’s case was like that.
He couldn’t just stubbornly insist forever in front of someone who had tasted such powerlessness, and in front of someone who called him a precious person. After all, the will to “save suffering Espers” had originated from Kang Hyeseong in the first place.
“…I’ll reconsider applying to a rescue team.”
He didn’t want to hurt Kang Hyeseong. He didn’t want to make him worry. It might seem selfish, but Yeoul cherished the person called Kang Hyeseong much more than other Espers.
Yeoul decided to consider joining a support team. After all, it was just the difference between going out to the field or not; the essence of a Guide helping suffering Espers didn’t change. Even Espers going out to the field often received help from support teams without having separate dedicated Guides.
“Okay.”
Hyeseong, who had been gazing at Yeoul with quiet eyes, slowly reached out and stroked his hair.
“Good boy, our baby.”
“…I’m not a baby. I’m not particularly good either.”
“You’re good. A good baby. And a wonderful soldier too.”
“……”
He was momentarily speechless at the sincerely honest praise. Yeoul quickly averted his gaze to hide his burning earlobes.
“I’m sorry and also grateful that you bent your decision for me.”
For some reason, his chest ached dully. When he raised his eyes, Hyeseong slowly lowered his hand and stroked the back of Yeoul’s hand. At the touch patting him as if handling something very precious, his firmly frozen heart couldn’t help but melt helplessly.
“Want to go see a movie if you’re done eating?”
“Yeah.”
When Hyeseong stood up from his seat, Yeoul followed behind him. He could see his broad back. The back where shoulder blades and muscles were fully revealed when wearing combat uniform.
It was a back he’d always thought was reliable, but he didn’t know why looking at that wide back today gave him a bitter feeling. Was it because he was carrying things too heavy for him to bear alone?
Yeoul, who caught up with quick steps, gently placed his hand on Hyeseong’s back. Hoping that the warmth of his hand, infinitely small compared to his back, would be conveyed even a little.
***
“…With this, we will conclude the 38th basic training completion ceremony. Trainees, sincere congratulations.”
The sound of applause and cheers filled the hall. The trainees, who had maintained a rigid posture with their backs straight throughout the event, freely hugged each other at this moment and enjoyed the joy of completion.
However, now that they had finished the grueling four-week training, the trainees couldn’t simply enjoy only a sense of achievement and liberation. The grade judgment they had eagerly awaited throughout training was scheduled immediately after the event.
“Announcing to the 38th trainees. In 30 minutes, there will be a grade judgment, so all 38th trainees gathered here without exception please move to the diagnostic examination building. I will announce once more…”
With the host’s guidance, the trainees left the hall in high spirits. Yeoul also boarded the shuttle bus heading to the diagnostic examination building with Woojin and Jihu, who shared the same room. The distance from the training center to the examination building was quite far, so they had to travel by bus.
“Haaa, hyung. I’m really so nervous I could die…”
Jihu whined and leaned his head on Yeoul’s shoulder.
“I’ll at least get C, right? Will I get D? Ha… What if I get B? That’s nerve-wracking in its own way.”
“What does it matter? From B onwards, they subtly pressure you to join a rescue team. Just getting C or D and working as a regular employee at a support team doesn’t seem bad either?”
“True, that’s right. Even though the allowance is less than rescue teams… it’s easy money and stable. And not dangerous.”
Woojin and Jihu chatted back and forth, entrusting their bodies to the swaying bus. Yeoul also listened earnestly while seriously nodding his head.
“Oh right, Yeoul. You said you were applying to a rescue team, right?”
“Ah… about that, I think I’ll just apply to a support team. I changed my mind.”
“Really? Well, all of us going safely to a support team together isn’t bad either.”
“Hey, hyung. We’ve arrived. Let’s get off.”
The chattering trainees got off the bus in a line. Yeoul looked up at the diagnostic examination building with a fluttering heart. He’d come here with Kang Hyeseong back then. The touch stroking his hair and face throughout the full-body examination was still vivid.
The trainees, who had been noisily chattering as if going on a field trip as they entered the building, all shut their mouths with surprised eyes in unison. Because they saw Espers sitting in the waiting room in front of the examination room. And they appeared to be at least team captain level—distant superiors.
“Peace!”
“Oh, oh, welcome. Our precious Guides.”
When they saluted toward them with faces clearly showing tension, the Espers smiled brightly and waved both hands. You shouldn’t think this about superiors, but… they looked exactly like employees at an amusement park waving and smiling just before you board a ride.
Come to think of it, Captain Lee Haejin had said something like that yesterday. When you go for judgment, there will be many Esper captains, so don’t be too surprised.
After the Guide and Esper trainees receive their judgments in turn, the information immediately goes up on the intranet and placement begins, and they come to scout trainees they like in advance before they’re assigned to other teams. It was essentially no different from scouting.
‘Well… those are mainly rescue team Esper captains who’ll come, and Guide trainees applying to support teams can comfortably come under me.’
Recalling the face of Captain Lee Haejin who had said that while laughing, Yeoul tried to put his mind at ease. After all, I’m going to a support team anyway.
“Hello, Guide trainees? I’m the diagnostic examiner in charge of your judgments today. Nice to meet you.”
“Hello!”
The examiner who came out of the diagnostic room welcomed the trainees. He looked with a pleased smile at the chick-like trainees gathered closely together and bowing.
“Now then, from now on, please come inside one at a time in order. You remember the full-body examination when you awakened, right? It’ll proceed similarly, so relax. Then I’ll start calling from Group A!”
The Guide trainees stuck right to the wall and observed the inside of the examination room. The wide wall was made of glass, so it was a structure where the inside could be seen clearly. The grade even appeared on the installed monitor.
The examination ended within 10 minutes. ‘C’, ‘D’, again ‘C’, ‘D’, ‘C’, ‘C’… Very occasionally a B-grade appeared. Each time the letter B appeared, not only the trainee themselves but also the trainees outside were stirred.
The Esper captains sitting in the back reacted starting from B-grade and above. Two or three captains simultaneously approached the B-grade Guide who came out of the examination room with a flushed face. They noted the name and exchanged introductions while smiling friendly.
‘I’m kind of nervous… It would be nice if I’m C-grade or above.’
After giving up his aspiration for a rescue team, the burden about grades had largely disappeared, but still, he thought it would be nice if his grade was high. If he were to be more greedy, he hoped for B-grade. That way he could more easily guide Espers who went to and returned from the field.
Woojin and Jihu entered the examination room in turn and came out. Both were C-grade. Yeoul patted both of their backs and generously congratulated them. It was when they were laughing, saying that now that their grades were determined, they would apply to support teams with peace of mind.
“Okay, next. Trainee Kim Yeoul, G312-A, please come in.”
“Yes!”
