Live together?
The moment I heard those words, my mind went blank and I even felt like my brain had stopped for a moment. My head grew complicated at the sudden proposal. I needed time to organize my thoughts, so I calmly mulled over his words about living together.
Cha Juheon seemed intent on waiting until I gathered myself and reacted, watching me quietly without pressuring me. Thanks to that, a brief silence flowed between us. Having barely collected myself, I demanded a precise answer from him.
“Executive Director. That proposal, I mean… I don’t understand exactly what you mean…”
“I understand you’re flustered. I mean exactly what I said—let’s live together. In this situation, that seems like the best method in many ways.”
“Uh, so you’re saying that you and I should live together in one house, right now?”
“Yes. That’s correct. It would be good if I could move into your place out of consideration for you, but… well, as you know, I can’t move into a place where someone else has lived. I ask for your understanding on that point. So even if it’s uncomfortable, I think it would be better for you to move into my place. And since my pheromones will be heavily saturated in the place I’ve been living in continuously, that environment will be better too.”
“I should move into your place, Executive Director…”
I repeated the same words like I was buffering and trailed off. But I couldn’t help it. Living together with Cha Juheon in his house… it was really exhausting just thinking about it. If this wasn’t a bolt from the blue, what would be…
I was extremely shocked, but Cha Juheon himself was calm as if he’d anticipated my reaction. With his usual neat face, he was waiting very peacefully for my answer. But I didn’t know what answer to give or how, so I just examined Cha Juheon’s face for no reason.
The proposal was too sudden, and because the other party was Executive Director Cha Juheon, an answer didn’t come easily. It was completely natural that my head was complicated and I couldn’t easily answer this proposal. The other party was none other than Cha Juheon himself. The king of germaphobia and obsessive-compulsive disorder, Cha Juheon. If I lived with him and bothered him even a little, he was someone who wouldn’t hesitate to spray disinfectant in my face every day.
Even if it wasn’t about germaphobia, moving into his house wasn’t something that could be done with a simple mindset. Setting aside alpha and omega, we weren’t close, nor were we just casually acquainted. It was the house of my contractor, no less. Of course, he made this proposal because of our contractual relationship, but I couldn’t enter it comfortably with a light heart.
He was someone who cherished the baby in my belly like gold and controlled me because of it. Living together with such a person would be more uncomfortable than I thought—no, extremely uncomfortable. Meeting occasionally like this was one thing, but being stuck together 24 hours a day was a different story. And maybe before I even felt uncomfortable, that person might faint first. If it’s Cha Juheon, he’d do that and more.
“Of course, I know it’s not an easy matter. For the sake of your body, I have to endure all other situations. The doctor said that if a situation like yesterday repeats, you’ll be in danger. It’s a matter of life and death.”
“Yes, of course I understand the situation well. I know it’s a dangerous situation and I understand everything, but… still, moving into your place is difficult…”
“Just as it’s difficult for you, this wasn’t an easy decision for me either. I know my tendencies better than anyone. So naturally it will be hard for both of us. This is as obvious as fire.”
A strange tension finally appeared on his previously calm face. I could tell that Cha Juheon had also worried a lot.
“Actually, I’ve never spent a long time in one space with another person who isn’t family. Even then, I’ve lived alone since high school. I have no experience living with another living being, so I’m just as nervous.”
Ah, that’s right. This wasn’t just uncomfortable for me. It was the same for Cha Juheon. Realizing his position anew, my complicated feelings calmed down a bit.
“That’s why I steeled myself and made this proposal. If this felt like a notification again, I apologize in advance. I don’t want the same thing to happen again and hurt you. And I don’t want to lose the baby in your belly either. To protect both of you, my pheromones are necessary, and there was no better method than this.”
Unlike his calm voice, Cha Juheon’s expression wasn’t very bright. Well, it couldn’t have been easy for him to bring this up either. For someone who can’t mix with others to bring up such words, he must have worried a lot in such a short time.
The person who would want to avoid this situation more than anyone would be Cha Juheon. It would be just as hard for him as it is for me. Still, he must have endured and proposed this because he has a sense of responsibility. Just looking at his expression right now, he was soaked in responsibility.
“For me, but… you’ll have a hard time, Executive Director. Our living patterns are different, and even if I’m careful, you’ll feel another person’s warmth and traces—can you really endure that for several months?”
“Taking responsibility for what I’ve chosen is natural. Moreover, if it’s connected to life, I think discomfort isn’t a problem. This isn’t a matter of enduring discomfort or not.”
The doctor’s warning that I could lose my life seems to have shocked Cha Juheon quite a bit. On top of that, he heard that in the worst-case scenario, we’d have to terminate the baby. He heard directly that terrible statement that only then could I survive, so it’s not like I don’t understand Cha Juheon’s judgment.
But I didn’t want to live in another person’s house while reading the room. That’s an experience I’ve had enough of once. As someone who had experience living as a freeloader in someone else’s house, I knew how mentally exhausting it was to live in another person’s home. It was a time when even going outside my room wasn’t easy because I was so busy reading the room and being mindful. I didn’t want to repeat that.
Of course, the situation was different from back then, but still I wanted to be more cautious. While living in one house, I had to read even my close friend’s mood. So how much more with the difficult Cha Juheon?
We’d gotten a bit closer lately, and I didn’t want that kind of relationship with Cha Juheon. It might be an unnecessary worry, but the memories from that time when I felt miserable and humiliated remained too strongly, creating resistance.
“Of course, living together isn’t something you can decide easily in various ways. There’s still some time left while you get pheromone treatment at the hospital, so think about it slowly. The house is bigger than you’d think, so if we divide the space, there won’t be any reason for us to touch each other’s areas.”
As if knowing what I was worrying about, Cha Juheon consoled me in a somewhat gentle tone. But I must be mistaken. How would Cha Juheon know that I lived at Gyuho’s house…
“I mainly use the first floor. The second and third floors aren’t used much, so they’re currently empty. There’s a small kitchen, bathroom, and terrace on the second floor, so that would be convenient to use. If you just decide, you can use the second floor. I’m telling you in advance so you can consider it while you think.”
Ah, it goes up to the third floor? The house must be quite large. If there’s no chance of running into each other, would it be a bit more comfortable than back then? I fell into thought while carefully stroking my belly. Stroking my belly was a habit I’d developed unknowingly since the baby came. It was an action that mainly came out when my feelings were complicated or I had a lot on my mind. Which shows just how complicated I am right now.
I didn’t know I was in pain because of a lack of Cha Juheon’s pheromones, but it was quite a painful time. I had a fever so bad I lost consciousness and thought my head would split open. If I stubbornly insist on doing things myself and something like this happens again next time… and because of that, this child can’t come into the world, the guilt would be huge, right? Hah… this really isn’t easy.
“Then I’ll think about it slowly. In any case, this situation isn’t only your fault, Executive Director. I’m at fault too. I signed a contract to have the baby but was ignorant about pheromones. I’ll think about it in the direction of protecting the baby well.”
“Yes. I know it’s a difficult choice. Let’s navigate through this wisely together. You don’t have to do anything. I’ll take care of everything. Ah, I’m not making another notification. I mean I’ll handle complicated matters on my end.”
The person who didn’t used to do this has been paying quite a lot of attention to his tone since the hamburger argument. Watching Cha Juheon hastily correct his words, I showed a slight smile. His words about taking care of everything himself strangely didn’t sound like a notification today. I just felt reassured.
How he brought me to the hospital, and how he worried about various methods while I was in pain and out of it… I didn’t know that not having to worry about a problem alone would make me feel this comfortable.
“This is something different, Executive Director.”
“Yes, speak comfortably.”
“Thank you for bringing me to the hospital.”
Scratching my head at how embarrassing it was to express gratitude, I expressed my thanks very quietly.
“Why are you thanking me for something so obvious? You’re suffering like this because I didn’t take care of things properly, so this is completely natural. You shouldn’t be thanking me—this is something you should naturally receive.”
“I’m just really grateful. It’s the first time anyone’s taken care of me when I was sick since my dad passed away. When I was sick, I always took medicine alone and went to the hospital alone. The situation was such that it couldn’t be helped. When I was severely sick and didn’t even have the energy to move, there were many times I couldn’t take medicine or go to the hospital… so I’m really grateful that you brought me directly to the hospital and stayed by my side the whole time.”
At my words of gratitude, Cha Juheon’s eyes visibly shook. Cha Juheon, who had been looking at me with such a surprised face, shut his mouth. Were my words too burdensome? But I said this because I was really, really grateful.
Even though our relationship was based on a contract, setting everything else aside, I was grateful that he didn’t just pass by when I was sick. So I expressed my gratitude with all my sincerity.
