Looking at Sarka sitting face to face with the Count, Baigarten thought it was a remarkable spirit.
Despite the sickly pallor dwelling in his gaunt cheeks and neckline, only his eyes burned with such vivid bloodlust that he could be sent to a battlefield right away without any shame. Hatred dripped from his clenched lips, and his gripped hands seemed ready to crush the person before his eyes with grip strength alone.
But, regrettably, it was only spirit.
That Sarka’s stamina had been whittled down was evident enough to notice at a glance. The sharpened gaze that seemed to hide that appearance was fierce, but it couldn’t completely erase the traces of pain from seven days of torture.
That his gaze facing his father straight on didn’t haze or waver was admirable mental strength considering his body couldn’t even stand from dizziness, but that was as far as it went.
Sarka’s spirit conveyed nothing but will and mood. Sarka was pitifully clearly weakened.
The Count’s expression didn’t seem to like Sarka’s gaze, but upon confirming the momentum that had inevitably weakened as his physical spirit broke, he seemed satisfied with that.
The Count, who had been quietly looking down at his son, said dryly.
“……I trust you have learned a lesson.”
Sarka glared at his father with blazing eyes and didn’t answer.
The Count didn’t wait for an answer either. Looking down at his son with furrowed eyes, the Count said coolly.
“……I will trust that you will never again threaten humans or treat them carelessly.”
Sarka clenched his molars. A hoarse voice flowed out slowly.
“……You tie me up and starve me like a dog before you trust me. If I’d known it would come to this, I should have asked to be treated that way from the start.”
His voice cracked and locked. Though he seemed to be trying with all his might to speak calmly, his voice crushed by unbearable rage was being torn to shreds.
Looking down at his son with such momentum as if he would rush at him any moment and strangle him, the Count frowned. Like scolding an ill-mannered beast, a low voice fell sharply.
“……If you don’t fix that attitude, you’ll continue to be treated that way.”
At that cool and unwavering answer, Sarka glared at his father as if to kill him. His gaze, from which crushed bloodlust flowed stickily, was closer to a beast than a person.
Baigarten recalled a beast of prey driven into a narrow iron cage. Because it knew no matter how much it struggled it couldn’t get out, all that remained was to glare at the existence outside the bars.
But like the designer who knew best that those bars would never break, the Count’s gaze didn’t waver.
The Count, who slowly stood up, pressed down his hat and greeted dryly.
“I’ll be going now.”
Sarka seemed to lack even the strength to sneer at that calm greeting because of excessive anger. Sarka appeared unable even to open his mouth, struggling just to endure the desire to kill the person before his eyes right now.
While the Count turned around and exchanged greetings with Baigarten and left the room, Sarka remained silent like a beast of prey left in a cage. Until the door closed, Sarka didn’t turn to look at his father.
Though Baigarten, who had seen the Count off and returned, glanced at him, Sarka didn’t meet his eyes.
A voice that felt more like a hard lump than words fell coolly.
“Get out.”
That was closer to a blade than an order.
Baigarten looked at that back with a hazed gaze for a moment, then tried to quietly approach Sarka.
“Let me take you to the bed……”
Sarka turned his head and looked straight at Baigarten.
Baigarten, who had stopped, immediately resigned himself and turned his back.
The two parted without greeting.
Ruslan, who had been sitting in the rare book storage room, jumped up as soon as the door opened.
Baigarten looked tired as if he had been to a fierce battlefield.
When Ruslan looked at him with a questioning expression, Baigarten sighed and plopped down on a chair.
“Anyway, with this the discipline is completely finished. The Count left without asking anything more. He won’t raise any objections to ending the discipline without completing the 10 days.”
His heart, which had been shrinking all along, calmed down a bit. Ruslan let out a light breath.
Baigarten still had a dark expression. He seemed to have many thoughts every time he met the Count.
Ruslan, who had been reading the mood, asked carefully.
“Sarka is……”
Baigarten made a bitter expression.
“……I tried to take him to his room, but looking at his condition, I thought I shouldn’t touch him so I just came out. He still seems to have strength left to maintain his pride, so he probably crawled into his room somehow.”
Now that the matter was finished, Baigarten’s voice was murkily locked as if fatigue was rushing in.
Ruslan fell silent with a dark expression.
Baigarten looked down at Ruslan, then said quietly like a sigh.
“……Let’s just leave him to calm down for now. This is as far as we can do. That guy will also lack the strength to get angrier today. It would be better to let him cool his head while… sleeping a bit.”
Baigarten’s voice carried the weight of familiar resignation.
Having watched over Sarka for a long time, he seemed to know that clumsily trying to help Sarka now and touching his pride would be counterproductive.
Thinking of Sarka who had struggled desperately not to stagger in front of Baigarten until the end, Ruslan found it hard to deny his words. Nothing would anger that prideful boy more than the sympathy of a watcher.
When Baigarten stood up and said to return to the dormitory now, Ruslan awkwardly stood up following him.
Throughout descending from the annex library, Ruslan’s heart was complicated. The weight of Sarka who kept swaying and pouring down lingered.
When Baigarten gave a greeting to see him tomorrow, hesitating Ruslan carefully asked.
“Um, today… would it be okay if I sleep in Sarka’s room?”
Baigarten stopped and turned to look at Ruslan.
Ruslan muttered pleadingly while watching Baigarten’s reaction.
“Sarka can’t even walk properly by himself… if he collapses while going to the bathroom or something during the night… I think it would be good for someone to be next to him.”
Baigarten looked down at Ruslan with a somewhat contemplative expression.
Perhaps because he had committed a sin, Ruslan shrank back a bit while trying hard to add.
“……I won’t go into the bedroom, I’ll stay in the living room. If nothing happens until morning, I’ll quietly leave before Sarka wakes up too……”
While reading the mood, Ruslan looked up at Baigarten with an earnest gaze.
Sarka hadn’t eaten properly for over five days, and all he had eaten today was a bowl of soup barely swallowed and a bit of water. Ruslan couldn’t fathom what strength Sarka had used to walk to the bedroom.
Baigarten had a carefully contemplating expression. He too seemed to feel it wasn’t ideal to leave the weakened Sarka alone, but appeared to hesitate whether it was a wise choice to place Ruslan next to Sarka who would have become extremely sensitive after meeting his father.
Baigarten looked down at Ruslan silently as if doing quite complex calculations.
After contemplating for a while, some conclusion appeared on his face. He seemed to have judged that if someone had to be nearby, Ruslan would be better than himself as the watcher.
As soon as careful permission fell, Ruslan turned and headed toward the special dormitory.
Ruslan, who carefully opened the door, looked around the quiet living room.
Just as he had worried while walking over, Sarka wasn’t collapsed somewhere in the living room. As Baigarten said, whether he crawled or not, he seemed to have somehow entered the room.
Just in case, Ruslan walked quietly killing his footsteps and checked the toilet and bathroom. Only after confirming that Sarka wasn’t collapsed inside them did Ruslan exhale a light breath and walk quietly toward the closed bedroom door.
After hesitating, he carefully put his ear to the bedroom door, but inside the room was silent.
……Is he asleep?
Ruslan sighed and crouched down next to the door.
An anxious feeling rushed in wondering what if Sarka had collapsed inside there, but he couldn’t open this door.
Earlier, he had no choice but to receive humans’ help to arrange his appearance before meeting his father, but Sarka would find it hard to endure such humiliation any longer.
Ruslan crouched in the darkness, blankly looking up at the bedroom door while thinking of Sarka.
What did that boy, who couldn’t even stand well by himself, think while struggling desperately to that room?
Every time he thought of that state of mind, he felt a prickling in his chest.
Ruslan thought of Sarka’s body that had slid down smoothly as strength left his legs. The sensation of the fingernails that desperately clawed at Ruslan’s shoulders and back trying not to fall.
Feeling a strange sensation as if those marks still remained, Ruslan unconsciously rubbed his shoulder.
Continuously weakening, weakening, even while weakened to the point of being unable to even stand up, Sarka desperately tried to endure.
That boy who struggled desperately clenching his teeth and trying to stand up with all his might, before yesterday’s gun muzzle was…….
Ruslan suddenly blinked.
Bewildered Ruslan suddenly realized he had dozed off. Since he had stayed up all last night too and had only taken a nap during the morning hours, his body seemed unable to overcome fatigue.
His head had fallen downward, and his neck was stiff. The pain from being tortured by Sarka was no longer as sharp as before, but still remained dully making his body droop.
How long did I sleep?
Ruslan’s body, which had been blankly raising his head to check the time unconsciously, stopped.
The closed bedroom door was half open, and a form buried in darkness was staring at him intently.
“……Sa, Sarka?!”
Ruslan jumped up in surprise half bouncing, but instead of standing up, could only take an awkward posture.
The eye level of Sarka sitting leaning against the doorway and Ruslan who had been crouching was similar. Looking at the posture of Sarka sitting with his back and back of head leaning against the doorframe with his knees raised, Ruslan thought it seemed like the posture of Sarka who had been coming out opening the door, discovering Ruslan, and then sliding down smoothly leaning his back against the doorframe.
He might have run out of strength there while staggering out. He might have stopped because he couldn’t bear to show his staggering appearance in front of me.
Flustered Ruslan floundered not knowing what to do and asked.
“Is there something you need?! Should I… should I bring you water?!”
No answer came back from the form submerged in darkness. Ruslan, unable to sit or stand, looked at Sarka tensely with only one leg raised in an awkward position.
After a long while, a dry voice flowed from the darkness.
“……Why are you here?”
