* * *
Having just fought loudly, Kang Siwon didn’t want to see Ray Jun’s face. Right now, he needed time alone to calm his emotions.
However, Ray Jun didn’t leave Kang Siwon alone and practically escorted him to the bathroom, sitting him down in the bathtub.
“Let go. What are you trying to do now!”
“Cleanup.”
Ray Jun plugged the drain with the bathtub stopper and turned on the faucet. His action of personally checking whether the bathwater temperature was appropriate was damn considerate. Kang Siwon immediately swatted away the hand approaching him.
“Don’t. I don’t want it.”
“Siwon, you still need to wash up.”
“No, I don’t mean I don’t want to wash—I’m saying I don’t want to see your face!”
“Why are you saying such hurtful things, hm?”
He forcefully pressed down on Kang Siwon’s shoulders as he seemed about to get up at any moment. Kang Siwon ground his teeth and looked for an opportunity to strike back, but in this perfectly slippery space, if he caused a commotion carelessly, both he and Ray Jun would likely get hurt.
Moreover, he had almost no strength left to resist now. It was because he was exhausted both physically and mentally.
“Should I wash your hair too?”
“I said no……”
“Then let’s just wash your body for now. You and I are each compromising one step.”
“……”
“Look how nice it is when we find a compromise like this. Right?”
Ha, Kang Siwon burst into open derision. Wasn’t this just Ray Jun’s coercion? He found it absurd that Ray Jun was claiming this as a compromise, and it was even creepy that he had thought ‘is that so?’ even for a moment. Trapped in an environment where he couldn’t interact with other people and only communicated with Ray Jun like this, it seemed that before long, he too would be tainted by him.
In the meantime, Ray Jun had made Kang Siwon lean against the bathtub.
“Could you spread your legs a bit?”
“Just, go.”
“Then. You’ll keep holding my semen inside?”
“Who…! No, I’ll do it myself so go!”
However, Ray Jun didn’t even pretend to listen and put his hand in the bathwater. Splash, the hand submerged beneath the surface soon burrowed between Kang Siwon’s legs. Kang Siwon twisted his body to avoid it, but no matter how spacious, it was still just a bathtub. There was no space to run away.
“You’re not even a four-year-old baby, so why won’t you listen? You require so much effort.”
When he spread his buttocks, the semen that he had filled inside came flowing out. Not wanting to check it deliberately, Kang Siwon turned his head away.
“See. Look how comfortable it is when you listen like this. I’ll do everything for you even if you just stay still.”
Ray Jun said this while scraping out the semen with his fingers bent like hooks. Kang Siwon bit his lower lip while glaring at him. At this, Ray Jun made a deliberately stern expression.
“Your lip will get hurt. Don’t bite it.”
“Are you ordering me around now? Are you trying to act like some kind of master?”
“Do you want that?”
Looking at his attitude of treating him like a puppet, it seemed he was already acting like a master. But if he responded like that, there was no telling what kind of outlandish thing he might do. When he kept his mouth tightly shut, Ray Jun let out a sigh.
“Why won’t you listen? I’m being so good to you but you just keep being depressed.”
“……You know I’m depressed?”
“How could I not know when you’re frowning like this?”
Ray Jun suddenly kissed Kang Siwon’s forehead. Could it be a kiss to cheer him up? However, it was an action too illogical to do in this situation. Kang Siwon spat out in a suppressed voice.
“You’re weird.”
“Why are you saying that again?”
“You…… said you like me.”
In any case, it seemed to be true that Ray Jun had feelings of affection for him in some form. No matter how irrational he was, he wouldn’t want to be with someone he disliked or say he would pay off a debt amounting to 4.8 billion. But now even that confession was hard to believe. Was his heart really just pure fondness?
“Yeah. I like you.”
“But why do you only push forcefully even when the person you like says they don’t want it? Even when you clearly know I’m distressed.”
“That’s why I’m trying to soothe you. Is that wrong?”
“……Forget it. Let’s not talk.”
At this point, it seemed like he might be some kind of psychopath. Even if not that far, it clearly seemed that he was remarkably lacking in the ability to understand other people’s feelings.
“I really do like you. It’s disappointing that you won’t believe me.”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s that I can’t believe you……”
“Well, it doesn’t matter. I’ll make you believe it.”
Ray Jun, who had meticulously scraped out the semen, rinsed his hand. Kang Siwon curled up his body with his legs together. A gentle confession fell over him.
“I like you, Kang Siwon.”
“……”
“I’m fond of you. It’s regrettable that I can’t be depressed together with you, but I can protect you so you’re safe. Isn’t that more important?”
If he listened any more, it seemed like even his own mind would become strange. Kang Siwon dunked his head into the bathwater. Splash, water sprayed up.
“Siwon, I like you.”
Even underwater, Ray Jun’s confession followed him. Even if those words were true, the affection he defined would be different from his own. And yet……
His heart rippling at that confession seemed to be wrong, very seriously wrong.
* * *
Ray Jun ended up washing Kang Siwon’s hair, drying him off, and even changing his clothes. At this point, feeling like whatever would be would be, Kang Siwon didn’t resist. He laid Kang Siwon on the bed and pulled the blanket up to his chest.
“Should I sing you a lullaby?”
“……Are you seriously crazy?”
Regardless of the harsh words, Ray Jun chuckled. Perhaps because he wasn’t resisting, his mood seemed much better. Seeing that, it seemed that what Ray Jun wanted was indeed a puppet show. Feeling utterly stifled, Kang Siwon pulled the blanket up to the top of his head.
“Don’t cover your face.”
“I’m going to sleep.”
“Show your face while you sleep.”
“Why do you keep staring at a face you see every day even before bed? Don’t bother me.”
Ray Jun’s expression wasn’t visible, but it seemed as if his displeased demeanor was painted before his eyes. Still, he didn’t insist further and hugged Kang Siwon over the blanket. He had no idea why he kept clinging to him regardless of time or place. Not wanting to think about it anymore, Kang Siwon forcibly tried to sleep.
“……Ugh.”
The next day, Kang Siwon lifted his eyelids.
Was it because he slept in an uncomfortable position? Even though he had slept, his body felt stiff. He seemed to have had a nightmare too, but he barely remembered the content. From what he vaguely recalled, it seemed like a dream of being chased by Ray Jun.
“……”
The spot next to him was empty. Ray Jun seemed to have gotten up early. Whew, sighing, Kang Siwon sat up. He didn’t have anything else to do, but it seemed like only his body would sag if he kept lying down.
He left the bedroom to drink water. While heading to the refrigerator, Kang Siwon passed by Ray Jun, who was sitting on the living room sofa playing with his phone.
“Good morning.”
Ray Jun offered a gentle greeting. Kang Siwon, who had stopped walking unconsciously, remembered what he had done with him yesterday and blushed.
Come to think of it, it would need to be cleaned up. There would be traces of their sexual encounter remaining, like bodily fluids and clothes thrown off.
Then, Ray Jun added.
“You slept well, Siwon. Even though the bedroom and office are far apart, I didn’t feel any presence at all.”
“Presence?”
“Yeah. The office got a bit dirty yesterday, right? A maid came and cleaned it up.”
“……What?”
Kang Siwon let out a silent scream. Imagining what the maid must have been thinking while cleaning the sofa made his face grow even hotter.
On the other hand, Ray Jun was only nonchalant. As he always was.
“Eat breakfast and change your clothes, Siwon.”
“Are we going out?”
“Hmm…… Do you like the outside that much? When you lived in the dormitory, you used to be stuck in bed every holiday.”
Ray Jun shrugged and added.
“It’s unfortunate, but I’m not planning to go out. We’re not going out—we’re expecting a guest.”
“A guest?”
“I negotiated well with Ju Xiang. You didn’t forget, did you?”
As if there was any way he could forget. When he looked at Ray Jun as if asking if he was serious, he leisurely continued.
“Last night, after you fell asleep, we discussed it in earnest. Surprisingly, we communicated well. It seems Ju Xiang is in urgent need of money too.”
“Why would Ju Xiang……”
“I don’t know. Maybe something suddenly came up.”
Could it be related to his shabby appearance? But Ju Xiang wasn’t what was important right now.
“So. You’re really going to pay off my debt? 4.8 billion?”
“Yeah.”
Somehow his mouth felt parched. Kang Siwon swallowed dry saliva and said.
“Think about it again. No matter how I think about it, the calculation is strange. The principal was 1.3 billion, and over three and a half years the debt increased to 3 billion, but in nine months it became 4.8 billion?”
“That’s loan sharking, Kang Siwon.”
He himself knew all too well the viciousness of loan sharks. But this didn’t seem right.
“But still, it’s as much as 4.8 billion……”
“Yeah. So what?”
“……”
The person actually paying off the debt, Ray Jun, didn’t seem to think that huge sum was a waste. Suddenly, Kang Siwon was seized by a feeling of futility.
The hellish suffering of the past nine months flashed through his mind. Could the cause of that problem be solved this simply?
The shackles he had been struggling with, unable to resolve even after throwing away his entire life, Ray Jun had disposed of in one go as if it were a mere trifle. The difference was so stark that he didn’t even feel the sense of liberation from being freed from the Baeksa Faction’s bonds.
“My lawyer is coming too, so it’ll be a bit hectic. Don’t be surprised.”
“……Then what should I do?”
“Hmm…… Actually, you don’t have anything to do. Since you won’t be directly negotiating, you don’t need to show your face either. If you’re tired, you can sleep more—what do you want to do?”
Even asking like that, he didn’t even know what he could do in the first place. While Kang Siwon was searching for an answer, Ray Jun approached and patted his shoulder.
“Think about it slowly.”
“……”
It seemed like drinking cold water first and clearing his head should be the priority. Kang Siwon moved his steps listlessly.
