# Chapter 88
After parking his car in the Taeyang Actors parking lot, Tae Igyeol sent a message to Cha Hyunwoo to meet him at the café on the first floor. He ordered two iced Americanos and settled at a table near the window.
‘When they just smiled at me… Their bright smile was so dazzlingly beautiful that I realized I liked them.’
Though he hadn’t shown it, these words had been circling in Tae Igyeol’s mind since last night. Even if he learned who Mo Eunje’s first love was, there wasn’t much he could do about it now, but he couldn’t bear the curiosity. No, even if it was in the past, he felt like he would go crazy with envy and jealousy of the person Mo Eunje had liked.
Tae Igyeol’s personality suited gathering definite information and planning his next steps rather than remaining anxious in uncertainty. But to block Mo Eunje’s potential escape routes, he needed to collect information from someone other than Mo Eunje himself.
If it was when Mo Eunje was eighteen, that was when he spent time with Cha Hyunwoo as much as he did with Tae Igyeol. From the third year of middle school until after high school graduation, he continued to hang out with Cha Hyunwoo. Even during the month when Mo Eunje was on bad terms with Tae Igyeol, he stuck with Cha Hyunwoo the whole time, and after school, they hung out as a group of four, including their girlfriends.
That wasn’t all. Because Tae Igyeol had avoided such topics for fear his feelings might show, Mo Eunje often talked with Cha Hyunwoo about subjects like dating and love. That’s why he asked to meet when Cha Hyunwoo mentioned he would briefly stop by the company. This wasn’t something to discuss over the phone, which is why he had gone to the trouble of coming out.
“What’s the occasion? You asking to meet me first. I need to get back to the set in 15 minutes. I just stopped by briefly to pick up some documents.”
Cha Hyunwoo, sitting across from him, checked the time and moistened his throat with the iced Americano on the table. Tae Igyeol, leaning his large frame against the chair with his arms crossed, cut straight to the point in an intimidating voice.
“Who was Mo Eunje’s first love?”
“Huh? Suddenly?”
Cha Hyunwoo, who was always genial whenever they met, rarely looked flustered as he coughed as if choking. The condition Tae Igyeol had set when introducing him to a job at Taeyang Actors was not to contact Mo Eunje personally even if he got his phone number. Whether that came across as excessive friendship or something else was not his concern.
“I was just taking a shot, but seeing your expression, you definitely know.”
“Don’t you live with Eunje now?”
“So what?”
“Wouldn’t it be better to hear directly from him? It’s a bit awkward for me to say.”
“Even if you tell me, I won’t let on that I know. It’s all in the past now anyway.”
“If it’s all in the past, then why… No, it’s really uncomfortable for me to talk about this.”
Unlike his chatty personality, Cha Hyunwoo trailed off uncomfortably. If it had been Kim Jiwan, one of the others who hung out with them during that time, Tae Igyeol would have understood this reaction. Kim Jiwan had been the quiet, passive type who always seemed intimidated. But Cha Hyunwoo had been energetic and loud, even making a hobby of spreading rumors about who was dating whom at school. It was funny to see someone like that suddenly being careful and reluctant to speak.
“Was it her? Mo Eunje’s first girlfriend?”
“Come on, that ended ambiguously. Besides, Mo Eunje asked me to introduce him to a girlfriend because he was trying to get over his first love.”
“So… there was someone else before her.”
“Hey, you really don’t know?”
“I don’t.”
He swallowed the words, “If I knew, would I be sitting here unnecessarily?” He couldn’t even make lunch for Mo Eunje before coming out, and it was frustrating how Cha Hyunwoo was dragging out the time when he said he only had 15 minutes. Five minutes had already passed.
“But if I tell you this, I’ll feel too guilty to face Eunje afterward.”
“Why would you need to see Eunje?”
“No, I know the condition you set. What I mean is, this isn’t something Mo Eunje told me, it’s just my speculation…”
“You said he asked you to introduce him to a girlfriend to get over his first love.”
“Eunje only said exactly that. That he wanted to like someone else. It was only because I happen to have a sixth sense for these things that I found out. He probably doesn’t even know I figured it out. No, wait, Mo Eunje is pretty perceptive, so maybe he does know?”
As the conversation kept going in circles, Tae Igyeol felt his patience reaching its limit. Of course, he knew Cha Hyunwoo was under no obligation to tell him and had the right to keep quiet, but what did it matter? From the beginning, the feelings of people other than Mo Eunje were not something he needed to consider. If Cha Hyunwoo hadn’t mentioned Mo Eunje when they first met, he wouldn’t have maintained contact with him at all.
“Cha Hyunwoo. I didn’t ask to see you to play word games with you in my precious time.”
“You were like this back then too—really talented at making people uncomfortable.”
If Mo Eunje hadn’t hung out with Cha Hyunwoo during school, Tae Igyeol wouldn’t have bothered with him at all. Tae Igyeol didn’t need anyone but Mo Eunje, but the reason he had any acquaintances he could call friends in his narrow social circle was because he knew the people Mo Eunje associated with. True to his outgoing personality, Mo Eunje enjoyed hanging out in groups as much as being alone with Tae Igyeol.
“We’re both busy, so let’s not waste time if you’re going to tell me anyway.”
“Why do you keep making things difficult for people? This is really driving me crazy.”
“So who was it?”
“…You.”
“Me what?”
“It was you… Mo Eunje’s first love.”
Tae Igyeol doubted his ears, wondering if he had heard correctly. It wasn’t just unrealistic—it was absurd. At eighteen, he was already way past just liking Mo Eunje; he was suffering severely from his feelings. During that sensitive period, if Mo Eunje had harbored the same feelings even for a moment, there was no way he wouldn’t have noticed.
“Are you sure?”
“I told you, it’s my speculation. Mo Eunje said he realized he liked this person because their smile was so bright and beautiful that it startled him and made him run away, and there was a situation that perfectly matched that.”
“What situation?”
“When you were playing basketball and made a dunk shot, I think? Anyway, Mo Eunje and I were sitting in the stands, and you smiled really brightly and waved at Mo Eunje.”
He couldn’t remember exactly when. It wasn’t like Mo Eunje had only watched him play basketball once or twice during school, and he had succeeded in dunk shots multiple times. The basketball hoop had even fallen once because of it. But no matter how much he searched his memory, he couldn’t recall brightly smiling and waving.
“Suddenly, Mo Eunje’s face, ears, and even neck turned bright red, and he jumped up and ran away. I wondered why he was acting like that at the time. But when I pieced the situation together, it made sense. And less than two weeks later, he asked me to introduce him to a girlfriend.”
“Damn…”
If everything from Cha Hyunwoo’s mouth was true, it was like a ray of light had emerged in what had been a dark and bleak despair. Even if it was less than two weeks, if Mo Eunje had ever harbored feelings for him that weren’t friendship, even just once, then instead of continuing to wait and time it right, it might be worth pushing forward right now.
“Now I can’t face Mo Eunje because of my guilty conscience. If I weren’t just one month away from becoming a permanent employee, I wouldn’t have told you until the end.”
It was as if he was viewing people as objects, talking as if Tae Igyeol would have fired him if he hadn’t told him. He didn’t have the qualifications or authority for that, but Cha Hyunwoo seemed to be misunderstanding something. Tae Igyeol had no intention of correcting him, though.
“Let’s get up. It’s almost been 15 minutes.”
Tae Igyeol stood up first.
“Hey, you really can’t tell Mo Eunje that I told you this. You have to pretend you don’t know. Seriously.”
“If you’re not going to see Eunje anymore anyway, what are you worried about?”
Unlike Cha Hyunwoo’s expressionless face, there was a pleasant emotion in Tae Igyeol’s voice. If he had squeezed Cha Hyunwoo sooner, he wouldn’t have wasted this much time. He wondered why he hadn’t thought to make Cha Hyunwoo open his mouth earlier. His past self seemed pathetic and foolish.
The most timely moment would have been that summer when Mo Eunje was eighteen and had feelings for him as his first love. It was regrettable that the point where Mo Eunje wouldn’t have been able to run away even if he had confessed had already passed.
Still, it wasn’t too late. The fact that Mo Eunje had become conscious of him and started paying attention since yesterday made it worth making a decisive move. Although part of it was because he had changed his attitude, if Mo Eunje had no feelings for him at all, someone like Mo Eunje, who was reluctant to think deeply, wouldn’t have been conscious of him. Even if he confessed, though Mo Eunje would be surprised, it seemed unlikely that the emotional distance would widen as much as he had feared. But since Mo Eunje would obviously avoid and run away if confronted directly, he needed to take a roundabout approach, even if it was troublesome and cowardly.
If he dared to guess, Mo Eunje’s mind would be filled with thoughts of him right now. Seeing how Mo Eunje stopped mid-way through dressing, laying down, and even speaking while being conscious of the subtle changes in his attitude, he could guess well enough.
When Mo Eunje became fixated on one thing, he tended to disregard everything else, so now he would only pay attention to Tae Igyeol. Although he felt sorry that this would affect his schedule for new work, Tae Igyeol intended to keep moving forward without stopping now.
