2.
“……”
Sunjo blankly stared down at the magazine cover plastered as large as a door. The face lying sprawled on a floor covered with candy, holding a candy the size of a person’s face and smiling brightly—even he found it unfamiliar. Senior! The photo came out great! A passing junior pointed at Sunjo’s magazine cover and shouted loudly. Because of that, people’s attention briefly fixated on him before dispersing.
The time of the photo shoot was still vivid. His lips were awkwardly turned up, and he’d rolled his eyes north, south, east, and west countless times following the photographer’s instructions. The camera flashes exploding in front of his eyes were no less impressive than fireworks at an amusement park. Looking at the magazine cover, the candy scent he’d smelled throughout the shoot tickled the tip of his nose.
Sunjo rolled up the magazine made of stiff material like drawing paper. He couldn’t crumple or throw away a magazine with his own face on it. Classmates he wasn’t even close with would shove the magazine at him, pat his shoulder in congratulations, and leave, while strangers would compare Sunjo’s face with the magazine as they walked by. Those obvious stares were burdensome. Sunjo shoved the rolled-up magazine into his bag and hurriedly headed home. It was an interview he’d reluctantly agreed to, but somehow things seemed to be escalating more and more.
The reason he’d become the protagonist of the university magazine model was an unavoidable choice. The reason for agreeing to be the cover model was included as-is on the first page of the questionnaire, but it was questionable whether Cheon Jaerim would be understanding enough to accept such a humane reason. Two years had already passed since he’d lived in the same house as that guy.
There had truly been many incidents. And having gone through all those incidents, Sunjo had returned to school. He couldn’t hide his joy at that guy’s casual words, “I’m returning to school,” thrown out in front of the dinner table one evening. However, he bit his tongue and held back, worried that if he showed how extremely happy he was, Cheon Jaerim might go back on his word. When he returned to school, it felt like a dream. There were new faces in his department, and there were also classmates and juniors who hadn’t forgotten him and still remembered him.
Sunjo also occasionally ran into Jaei. The main culprit who’d introduced Cheon Jaerim as a tutoring student. There was also a past incident where Jaei had caught them in an embarrassing scene. Of course, even now there were times he wanted to confront Jaei about why he’d introduced Cheon Jaerim. However, the two had already come too far to nitpick about right and wrong by bringing up such reasons. The more you get hung up on the past, the harder it is on yourself.
Sunjo’s life after returning to school was cautious. It was because he was worried Cheon Jaerim might make others uncomfortable like before. However, there was an unexpected twist. Cheon Jaerim had changed. He didn’t interfere with school life like before, nor did he barge into other people’s department rooms like an outlaw. He’d changed to the opposite of the person who’d first entered school and tried to control Sunjo however he pleased. That didn’t mean he’d completely changed as a person.
He’d become… a bit…
Should I say softer?
Sunjo’s wish had been freedom, but now that he’d actually obtained freedom, his anxiety only increased. He also felt skeptical. Because he couldn’t figure out what Cheon Jaerim was really up to. But such worries gradually decreased with the passage of time. He didn’t want to become a bird that couldn’t fly to the sky even when the cage door was opened.
‘Just make me one promise.’
Around the time school life became familiar, Cheon Jaerim set forth one promise. It was a promise not to do anything suspicious. In other words, don’t do things that would irritate him. Even now, Sunjo was puzzled about what kind of ‘thing’ the ‘suspicious thing’ he’d mentioned might be. However, he didn’t ask specifically. If he asked for no reason and the guy listed out ridiculous clauses from one to ten, that would really give him a pounding headache. As long as he didn’t do anything ‘guilty on his conscience’ that would be awkward to tell the guy about, that would be keeping the promise.
—The door is opening.
Then he could live a moderate school life while maintaining a moderate relationship with Cheon Jaerim under one roof. Sunjo entered the elevator that opened on both sides.
The residential area where the two lived was close to school. Watching Cheon Jaerim move here to return to school, Sunjo wondered just how many pieces of real estate he owned. The elevator rose smoothly with a quiet hum. Standing with his bag containing the university magazine cover with his face on it, Sunjo pondered deeply whether this matter fell within the category of ‘suspicious things’ for Cheon Jaerim.
Cheon Jaerim, who had no classes today, would definitely be home. Cheon Jaerim with a free period and the university magazine published just today. There couldn’t be better timing than this. There was no way that guy who hadn’t even come to school would have gotten his hands on the magazine. Sunjo grasped onto hope. And he was certain. Cheon Jaerim doesn’t know anything!
However, as soon as he finished thinking, he realized what he’d done. The fact that silently becoming a university magazine model was close to the ‘suspicious thing’ Cheon Jaerim had mentioned. Because being scared in advance and hiding things was an attitude one takes when there’s something guilty on one’s conscience. In the end, Sunjo had been unable to refuse someone’s request and agreed to it, then—plop!—fell into a pit of fire himself.
Beep—
Leaving the lightly released lock alarm behind, Sunjo entered the house and assessed the flow of air. And before going in, he used the fine dust cleaner installed at the entrance to suck up the dust on his clothes. There was also hand sanitizer on the shoe cabinet handle. He lingered as much as possible, rubbing his hands with sanitizer before finally taking off his shoes.
In front of the shoe cabinet were neatly arranged white slippers. Blue clouds were embroidered on top of the slippers. The absence of slippers with red cloud embroidery meant Cheon Jaerim was already wearing them.
“You’re home?”
When he entered the living room, Cheon Jaerim, sitting on the sofa, greeted him without even turning his head.
“Uh……”
The guy was sitting comfortably with his back leaned against the sofa, working on his laptop. Tap tap tap. The sound of typing on the keyboard was light. Sunjo put down the bag he’d been carrying on his back below the sofa. Sunjo, who’d unconsciously sat down next to Cheon Jaerim, stood up slightly at the feeling of something being crushed under his butt. Right underneath his butt was Sunjo’s face plastered as large as a door. Sunjo deliberately averted his gaze. The photo with rainbow-colored candy arranged like a rainbow, making even his pale complexion look lively—no matter how many times he looked at it, he couldn’t get used to it.
“……”
“……”
Sunjo gulped. How does a kid who didn’t even come to school have a magazine published today? Sunjo, who’d gotten scared in advance, soon found the answer. There were always many people around Cheon Jaerim. Not only classmates, seniors, and juniors who liked his money, but also friends who always brought him school news. Among them, the only one who knew about his relationship with Kim Sunjo was probably Jaei, his childhood friend who’d introduced Sunjo to Cheon Jaerim. Surely the kid who’d brought that magazine was also Jaei.
“What are you doing. Did you forget what to do when you come home?”
“Huh? No, I should do it.”
Cheon Jaerim liked to wash up right away when he returned from going out. He especially despised lying in bed in outdoor clothes. Unless it was a special case. As for special cases, everyone knows—it only applied to those kinds of situations.
Sunjo hurriedly moved at Cheon Jaerim’s sharp comment. He entered the largest room, took off his clothes, took a quick shower, dried his hair completely, changed into the pajamas he’d just washed and put away yesterday, and left the room.
Instead of heading to the living room, Sunjo headed to the kitchen. And he poured two cups of sour juice and went back out to the living room. Cheon Jaerim was still in the same position. The laptop screen he glanced at had PowerPoint materials open. It seemed he was working on an assignment.
Sunjo moved the magazine aside and put down the cup with juice on the table. Cheon Jaerim kept typing on the laptop keyboard without pause. His fingers playing on the keyboard were as smooth as playing a piano. His face focused on the laptop screen didn’t even glance at the juice cup Sunjo had brought. Anyone watching would think he was a scientist ceaselessly searching for answers until a satisfactory one appeared. Sunjo glanced at the cup he’d thoughtfully poured and brought. Then he quietly opened his mouth.
“Are you angry?”
“About what?”
Cheon Jaerim’s anger was scary. Sunjo had experienced Jaerim’s anger many times. Deep within him, there were still terrifying things—too terrible to call memories—folded up neatly. So it was natural for both his body and voice to shrink instinctively.
“You’re angry at me……”
This time too, Cheon Jaerim answered without giving even a glance.
“I’m not.”
“……”
Sunjo deliberately ignored it and calmly held his position. Then he quietly turned on the TV to an extent that wouldn’t be a disturbance. His favorite movie was airing, but he didn’t turn up the volume. Since subtitles were showing, he could understand the content sufficiently.
Cheon Jaerim glanced at the seat next to him that had become quiet. The sight of him pressing only the remote control buttons with a timid face stirred an impulse to tease him thoroughly.
“I’m really not angry.”
“Huh?”
“I’m not angry that hyung sold his face in a magazine that every Tom, Dick, and Harry reads without even telling me, so don’t worry about it.”
The feelings of Sunjo, clicking the remote control buttons, became more complicated. When Cheon Jaerim said things like that, there was no solution. When he said not to worry, you couldn’t tell whether you really shouldn’t worry, or whether you should worry even if you had to throw yourself into it. Each and every one of that guy’s words was a harder problem than a difficult math equation.
“Did you… read that?”
“You told me to read it.”
“Huh? Yeah. That’s true, but.”
Cheon Jaerim was tracing over the laptop’s mouse pad when he slammed—snap!—the lid shut. Thanks to that, Sunjo also pressed the remote control power button. The living room instantly became silent. Cheon Jaerim pushed the laptop to the side. Then he grabbed the edge of the magazine Sunjo was sitting on and irritably yanked it out.
Rip, rip. The sound of thick paper being roughly turned stabbed at Sunjo’s ears. Cheon Jaerim began scanning expressionlessly through the dense pages containing Sunjo’s interview. Then at a certain point, he fixed his gaze.
“What you hate most in the world. Missing school. It’s a school I worked hard to get into, and it means something special to me. I want to do as much as I can at this school. I want to use the library a lot, and my wish is to read at least all the novels in the library before I graduate. Haha.”
“……”
“How many days of school has hyung missed because of me.”
“……”
“Is this a sophisticated roundabout way of dissing me? Or is it a declaration of war saying not to do that anymore?”
“I really said that without thinking anything!”
Sunjo waved his hands. However, Jaerim’s face was already buried in the magazine. He didn’t seem interested in Sunjo’s excuses. Instead, before Sunjo’s words were even finished, he began reciting other questionnaire items in detail.
“What are you interested in these days?”
“……”
“I started swimming. Actually, I didn’t want to, but someone kept recommending it, so I had no choice…… But it turned out to be surprisingly fun. After doing it, my body loosens up and my fatigue goes away. If I do it before bed, I sleep better too. Oh! And if I do it in the morning, the day feels really long. Um… a sport where you don’t sweat no matter how much you do it?”
“……”
“Ah, there’s more here.”
“……”
“The most memorable thing from 2019. Watching the New Year’s fireworks in London as we crossed into January 1st. I wanted to go as an exchange student, and I got to go last year! This will be a memorable moment. That’s when I saw the fireworks too. The last one is this photoshoot right now. I don’t like being in front of others at all, but I think this will remain as the most unique memory of my entire life.”
“……”
Cheon Jaerim flipped through the magazine a few more times before throwing it below the sofa. The cover clearly showed the crease where it had been folded in half and then unfolded because Sunjo had been sitting on it.
“Swimming, travel, exchange student—when I told you to do them you kept making excuses, but in the end you loved it to death?”
“It, it’s not like that……”
“Anyway, you’re a champion at being contrary, Kim Sunjo.”
Cheon Jaerim, who’d been teasing Sunjo by bringing up the magazine interview, stared at him quietly. Sunjo closed his mouth. At times like this, silence was golden. Cheon Jaerim fiddled with Sunjo’s clean earlobe that had no trace of being pierced and quietly opened his mouth.
“I was upset that you sold your face without saying anything……”
“……”
“But if hyung makes me feel better, my down mood will become up.”
“How should I make you feel better?”
“That’s something hyung has to think about yourself. Do I, the one whose feelings are hurt, have to spoon-feed you the method step by step too?”
“……”
Cheon Jaerim pressed the center of Sunjo’s earlobe hard with his fingernail before getting up from his seat. The juice Sunjo had brought hadn’t decreased even 1 centimeter. The room door closed firmly. It was a kind of protest. Don’t even think about coming in until you’ve thought of a method.
Of course, Sunjo was fine with sleeping on the sofa. But he felt like a person who’d been kicked out to the sofa because of an angry spouse after staying out all night without saying anything.
