A few minutes later, I hear the footsteps of two people. Cheon Jaerim called a taxi and said goodbye to the woman. I waited for Cheon Jaerim with my eyes wide open. And as soon as he came in, I pretended to sleep. One side of the blanket lifts, and Cheon Jaerim enters the side spot. The room filled with two people was as quiet as a desert night. It seemed like it would make even someone with a heavy secret sincere.
“Noona is pretty, right?”
“……”
“Smart too.”
Cheon Jaerim continued speaking.
“I guess that’s why she got married early.”
It’s a known fact that the woman and Cheon Jaerim are just so-so. However, learning the additional fact of marriage, I almost unknowingly turned my head to look.
“She even has two kids.”
My eyes that opened unknowingly were looking at the white wall. My open ears silently listened to the sounds Cheon Jaerim was letting out.
“So don’t think strange thoughts.”
I got rid of strange thoughts long ago. Now that I know what purpose Cheon Jaerim invited that woman for. Cheon Jaerim, who has no idea in his dreams that I heard their conversation, explained belatedly. Explanation? Then Cheon Jaerim thinks he did something wrong today…….
As I was about to get absorbed in other thoughts, a hand wraps around my waist. My body is pulled back and warm body temperature touches me. Cheon Jaerim’s hand came into my T-shirt. In his hand was a hot heat pack. The hand holding the heat pack rubbed my stomach in circles. The rubber band that had been tightening my insides snapped loose. The lump of meat that had been stuck in my solar plexus and wouldn’t go down goes down like a flash. The warmth heating my stomach and the breath settling my spine pulled me out, who had been in distress for half a day.
***
The water purifier broke down. It broke down when I was alone, of all times, and thirst moved me. I left the house with just my wallet. Passing by the convenience store, I unknowingly looked at the person inside. An unfamiliar man was at the counter.
If you pass the convenience store and go through the alley, you reach a bustling intersection. The intersection had many various stores. A particularly crowded store catches my eye today. It’s a building with a large banner that says ‘OPEN’ fluttering. It was a newly opening hair salon. There were people handing out flyers in front of the store to passersby, and a unique stand recommending prizes. Avoiding the noisy place, I crossed the road at the crosswalk further down.
On the way back holding two bottles of water, I inevitably had to pass that place. When I passed in front of the sparkling hair salon, both my arms were grabbed. A woman and man who appeared to be staff linked arms and attached themselves friendly.
“You’re the 300th customer to pass in front of our store!”
“What?”
“With a special win, you can use it for free today!”
“No, I’m……”
“Give me the water!”
I was dragged in semi-forcibly. As soon as the woman let me into the store, she headed back outside, and the man held my arm firmly. The interior with all sides made of glass reflected the outside scenery intact. I passed the place that provided a coffee-making machine and various types of tea unlimited. The man took me to a remote place.
“You can start with the spa first.”
“S, spa?”
The place I arrived at is in front of a black door. The refusal I showed was dismissed as courtesy by them. Saying ‘Customer, you don’t have to do that,’ they handed me a gown and put me inside the room.
“Are you done changing!”
I changed at a fast pace at the incessant knocking sound. After putting on the thin white gown, this time I had to wash my face. After wiping my face until it squeaked, they took me to a room full of aroma scent. Soon after, a staff member wearing purple clothes came in.
“I’ll start the face massage.”
Starting with the kind staff’s words, my face was kneaded this way and that. When they rolled a fist and used the raised bone to circle around the cheekbone area, an ‘Agh!’ sound came out naturally. However, as time passed, the pain went far away and refreshment came. As if it were a lie, my body loosened. Finally, a cold pack came onto my face.
“It’s all done.”
Looking in the mirror, my skin is glossy. My complexion is pale as if I ate ox bone soup. This much was enough. I came out putting on my clothes, thinking I should go home. As soon as I came out the door, a large mug approached. The staff was waiting for me. I took the cup in bewilderment and sat on the yellow sofa. While I was dithering, a gown was put on like a cloak, and a hair catalog was placed on my knees.
“By the way, where’s my water?”
“We’re keeping it safe!”
“Ah……”
“Anyway, how about just trimming the length a little and dyeing it?”
“Dyeing?”
“This is your natural hair, right? The texture is definitely good. It’ll look tacky if we make it yellow… How about going with black hair instead? I think it’ll bring out your tone……”
“…Please do as you like.”
I was getting gradually tired.
As soon as the staff finishes speaking, 3 other staff members attach themselves. Thinking that those surrounding me are focusing on my hair, it was quite burdensome. Every time my shoulders shrank, the firm hand holding a white comb straightened my back. I sat for almost two and a half hours. My back hurts and my calves are stiff. Around the time my leg was getting a cramp, the yellow clip stuck in the back of my neck was pulled out. A soft sponge brushed the fine hair on my face, and the gown was removed.
The staff exclaimed in admiration to the point where I wanted to run away from embarrassment. It took roughly an additional fifteen minutes until I received the two bottles of water. Every time I pass a window, the jet-black hair is awkward. The sky is already tinged with orange. The outside outing that I thought would only take about 20 minutes increased more than twofold. The gate was slightly open. I passed the yard, and as soon as I entered the house, my eyes met with Cheon Jaerim’s. It’s a face as if all the blood had been drained. Cheon Jaerim didn’t seem to even see the water bottles I was holding.
“Where did you go?”
His face is ripe and red. His voice was out of breath. Did he search for me outside? I hugged the water bottle that almost fell again. The water bottle full of water was solid.
“To buy water.”
“It takes over two hours to buy it? I guess you went to Baekdu Mountain to draw it.”
Cheon Jaerim snorted as if it was ridiculous. Why is he angry? I only fiddled with the plastic bottle. Cheon Jaerim exhaled sharply like someone who can’t control their emotions. The phone in his hand fell onto the sofa. It’s my phone.
“If you’re going somewhere, at least take your phone.”
“……”
“Why did you dye your hair?”
His voice became much calmer but was still slightly short of breath. I see myself in Cheon Jaerim. Had he been waiting for me day and night? Imagining that sight made my chest feel stuffy. I realized that the fear of being abandoned wasn’t an emotion limited to me alone. I didn’t want to obediently tell him what happened today. The selfishness of wanting my anxiety to be transmitted to Cheon Jaerim reared its head.
“Do I have to tell you?”
“What?”
“Is there a reason I have to tell you everything?”
“Fuck, do you want to take those meds again?”
“Huh?”
“Ah, no, no. Pretend you didn’t hear that. I misspoke.”
Cheon Jaerim took the water bottle from my arms with a somewhat flustered face. He was so quick I didn’t even have time to ask again. I followed Cheon Jaerim closely. Cheon Jaerim put the water in the refrigerator and said to me, who had followed behind him, in a tired voice.
“You don’t have to move around for troublesome things like this.”
‘I didn’t torment it. It just wandered around everywhere and didn’t listen to me, so I made it a room.’
I remembered the previous conversation. Does Cheon Jaerim equate me with the dead hamster? Is that why he confines me and tries to keep me only by his side? When I was first played by him, I couldn’t do anything like a lab rat. Even when I struggled, I kept sinking like a swamp of death. However, the situation is different now. Cheon Jaerim to me…….
“I’m not your pet.”
“I never thought such a thing……”
“You said it. You said people who have something to protect are weak… You said with your own mouth that you’re weak. I remember.”
He even confessed he lost. There was no reason for me to act like the weak one. The voice pushing strongly wavered weakly. Cheon Jaerim stared at me intently, then closed the refrigerator door and hugged me.
“Hyung, don’t try to run away from me either.”
“……”
Then I won’t act mean. The cold air from the refrigerator touched me directly. Even while hugging me, Cheon Jaerim kept sniffing, smelling me. I could tell why. A strong medicine smell came from my hair.
“Why did you dye your hair? Who did it for you?”
“They said they’d do it for free.”
“I guess you still like free things.”
“I’m tired.”
“It suits you well.”
Cheon Jaerim fiddles with the hair that turned black. It feels sticky. It’s a touch full of his true intentions. I had to divert attention. While hurriedly rolling my eyes, I discovered something. A couple of empty eggshells were placed around the sink.
“I was doing that earlier but left……”
I pointed to the round plate that must have gathered dust.
This was bound to happen anyway.
Cheon Jaerim’s tongue sticks like a sundew. I held the table edge and supported my body with only one leg. The leg that went over Cheon Jaerim’s shoulder trembled visibly to the naked eye. It wasn’t that I trusted Cheon Jaerim who approached the kitchen saying he would do it. Cheon Jaerim, who was beating egg yolks with chopsticks, glanced at me who came near the sink. I was taking out a cutting board thinking of cutting vegetables, when my leg was grabbed. Cheon Jaerim who was beating eggs evaporated, and he threw one leg over his shoulder.
“Mmh, ngh, nnngh……”
Cheon Jaerim sharply tilted his head between my crotch. He flicks his tongue like someone eating rain falling from the sky. His sharp nose tip touched the perineum. He rubs as if to pierce that place where there’s nothing. Cheon Jaerim, burying his face deeper between my spread buttocks, slipped one finger in beside his tongue.
“Ah!”
The finger that entered with the tongue moves mercilessly. Squelching sounds come from below. The finger entering with a squelch made it impossible to stand properly. The bodily fluids from my body left deep marks on Cheon Jaerim’s face.
“Aheu, ngh, haah……”
Cheon Jaerim spins his tongue round and round, tickling the hole. I panted and made boiling-like moaning sounds. Cheon Jaerim’s tongue, like it was reminiscent of quilting, thrust all the way to the root and quickly withdrew. I twisted my body completely at the raw pleasure, not knowing what to do. Cheon Jaerim spread the hole’s diameter with his thumb and widened the hole so his tongue could enter more easily.
With a ‘tseuk’ sound, the red tongue hid between the glistening lips. The plump, heated lips kissed the inside of my thigh and sucked up with force. The pale thigh flesh was dyed red like an ink pad. The more lips were stamped on secret places, the more the pleasure spreading through my body doubled. Two fingers passed through the space where the tongue had withdrawn. It became three and increased to four in an instant. As the area of hot fingers touching my inner walls increased, I was engulfed in the sensation of wanting to collapse on the floor and cry.
