# Chapter 109
‘Don’t decide too hastily. There’s no need to push yourself…’
Neither Jungyeom nor Wooyeon immediately agreed with Jiwon’s judgment. But Jiwon didn’t change his mind.
‘We can’t enter right away anyway. There are things we need to confirm first.’
He had no intention of pushing Suhyun into the dungeon immediately.
‘Even if we manage to enter Riska’s stronghold, it would be meaningless if we can’t destroy the reddish-black ore that is their power.’
Jiwon said this while looking at Suhyun.
‘You remember how they said the ore isn’t easily broken, right? We should only enter when we can deal with it properly without taking unnecessary risks.’
Not before then. If they couldn’t handle Riska’s power, there would be no point in Suhyun entering.
‘…When that time comes, it would be a gamble worth taking.’
Suhyun nodded as if agreeing with his words. Only then did Jiwon feel relieved. Suhyun had said he would only enter with Jiwon’s permission, but honestly, Jiwon found it hard to believe.
He might listen at first. But as time passed and victims continued to appear… As Riska’s power grew, would Suhyun still listen to him?
Whatever choice he made, Suhyun would inevitably suffer.
‘If only I were an Esper instead.’
How nice it would be if all the risks and mental anguish were his to bear.
“…What are you thinking about so deeply?”
In the dark living room with no lights on, Jiwon, who had been sitting blankly in the corner of the sofa, turned his head at Suhyun’s voice.
“I’ll come back to bed soon.”
“It’s already been an hour.”
“Oh, has it?”
After all the commotion had subsided and they returned home, Jiwon had lain in bed but couldn’t fall asleep. He had made the excuse of using the bathroom and had come out briefly, but he didn’t realize that an hour had already passed.
“Are you okay?”
Suhyun sat down next to Jiwon, keeping a slight distance. It was impossible not to notice that he was watching Jiwon’s reactions.
“Why are you sitting so far away?”
Jiwon deliberately smiled playfully.
“Ah.”
Letting out a somewhat surprised exclamation, Suhyun quickly moved closer. Jiwon lowered his legs, which he had pulled up, and leaned his head on Suhyun’s shoulder.
“I’m just thinking about what we have to do now. How to eliminate Riska safely without getting hurt.”
“……”
“Maybe if I keep pondering, I’ll come up with something.”
Suhyun’s subtle body scent, which always tickled his heart, gently seeped in. Jiwon, who had closed his eyes softly, moved even closer to him.
“…I’m sorry.”
Suhyun apologized quietly to Jiwon, who smiled slightly.
“Do you still have more apologies to make?”
From the dungeon all the way back home, and even while lying in bed, Suhyun had continuously apologized to him.
By now he should have stopped, but it seemed he still felt very guilty about leaving Jiwon behind.
“As long as you came back safely, that’s all that matters.”
As long as nothing had happened. Jiwon spoke soothingly while fidgeting with Suhyun’s hand. There was no need to apologize anymore. Suhyun had done his best.
It’s just that he was worried. Suhyun would be hurt facing Riska, but if he ignored Riska, he would feel guilty about the people who would be sacrificed.
“So really, I’m fine.”
Jiwon wanted to ensure that Suhyun wouldn’t worry too much about him. He hoped Suhyun, who had to take the risk, would have one less burden to carry.
“Both now and in the future.”
The hand he had gently held tightened its grip. Suhyun, who let out a brief sigh, closed his mouth.
If only today would never pass.
But it was a wish that couldn’t come true. The fact that they needed to move forward remained unchanged.
“…Are you very afraid?”
Jiwon hesitated at Suhyun’s abrupt question, though he thought he had been acting as calm as possible.
“Why do you keep saying you’re fine when you’re not?”
At Suhyun’s follow-up question, Jiwon laughed softly. It seemed his wish for Suhyun not to worry too much about him had failed.
“Is it that obvious?”
Suhyun nodded.
“But I have to be okay.”
“……”
“If I keep saying I’m fine, eventually I will be. That’s why I keep saying it.”
In truth, he hated the situation where Suhyun had to bear everything. He wished Suhyun could ignore that sense of responsibility and just take care of himself.
But Suhyun wouldn’t do that. From the beginning, Jiwon didn’t want to express such feelings either. Just thinking that he wished no one had to be protected made guilt wash over him.
Why did it have to be Suhyun? How much better it would be if he were just strong enough to blend in, not stand out.
“…But it’s not working yet.”
Jiwon smiled awkwardly. He wondered if time would actually make things better.
“You can say anything.”
At Suhyun’s words, Jiwon raised his eyebrows as if asking what he meant.
“What you’re thinking now. Anything is fine, other than saying you’re okay.”
“I’ll just end up complaining, what’s the point?”
Jiwon replied with a smile to the kind words.
“Complaints are fine too. I want to hear what you’re thinking, how anxious and scared you are. If I can share that burden even a little.”
But the smile that had risen quickly faded. Gradually his face contorted, and his head dropped. A sigh escaped from his stifling emotions.
“…Why should you share that, Esper-nim?”
His trembling voice, as if he had never been okay, felt so pathetic.
“You have to worry about your life, and that’s not enough, why worry about me too?”
He knew that’s the kind of person Suhyun was. Intellectually, he understood. But hearing him express concern made him feel like his insides were turning over.
“If you die, I die too.”
The calmness he had been forcibly maintaining disappeared without a trace, and an anxious voice flowed out.
“Think of it as holding my life as well.”
“…Guide-nim.”
“So you absolutely have to live, Esper-nim. Even if it’s just to save me.”
He hadn’t wanted to burden him with responsibility. Jiwon’s face twisted harshly at the unseemly thoughts that had finally emerged.
“If your wavelength becomes unstable, I’ll Guide you even if my body breaks down. Somehow I will save you.”
“That’s…”
“Don’t say it’s not possible. Your answer is already set.”
“……”
“It won’t happen.”
“……”
“You said you’d share my anxiety and fear. So, affirm it for me. Tell me you won’t be in danger.”
At his pleading words, Suhyun closed his mouth. It felt as if he wouldn’t make a promise he couldn’t keep, so Jiwon bit his lower lip hard.
“Yes, I won’t be in danger.”
It was then that Suhyun gave him the answer he wanted in a firm voice.
“……”
Jiwon, who had unconsciously raised his head, stared at Suhyun as if he couldn’t believe it. Suhyun spoke again, calmly and steadily, with a face that showed not a hint of deception.
“Nothing that worries you will happen.”
His lips tightened. Remarkably, his heart, which had been trembling with anxiety due to the uncertainties ahead, began to stabilize.
Because it wasn’t just empty words. He could feel Suhyun’s strong determination to keep his promise.
“Tomorrow… let’s go to the research institute.”
Thanks to this, Jiwon, who had struggled to gather his considerably weakened resolve, finally spoke.
They would go to the research institute to find a way to destroy the reddish-black ore. After confirming it was possible, Suhyun would likely become the medium after being attacked by Riska, finding a path connected to their stronghold.
“Yes.”
Jiwon nodded at the simple answer.
“…I keep thinking it would have been better if I were an Esper.”
Then, out of a sense of regret, he muttered.
“I think it’s fortunate that I’m the Esper and you’re the Guide.”
Suhyun answered sincerely. It was both frustrating and saddening to hear him say it was fortunate when all the burdens were on his shoulders.
“Do you remember? The day I awakened.”
Jiwon nodded, looking up at Suhyun. The memory of the day he awakened was vivid. It was a day he could never forget.
“You embraced me and said everything was fine now.”
An awakened one who landed the plane without any casualties. That clear face had seemed admirable, yet the thought that it must have been difficult made him feel sad. Thinking about it, he seemed to have felt similar emotions then as now.
“When I return, tell me the same thing again.”
Suhyun smiled at Jiwon. Jiwon looked at him, unable to smile back.
“That it’s all over now. That everything is okay.”
“……”
“And praise me too, saying I did well.”
“……”
“I might work even harder if I know I’ll be praised.”
Meeting his smiling face, Jiwon struggled to lift the corners of his mouth.
“I’ll do that.”
He could do it a hundred times, a thousand times, as many times as needed.
As long as after everything was over, Suhyun safely stood by his side again.
