– I really worked super hard. I finally understood what it means to only see one person. Well… Anyway, so today is Day 1. Thankfully, they accepted my confession. I didn’t tell anyone else. It’s a secret even from Heewon. I only told you, so consider it an honor.
“…Yeah right. You skip the whole middle process and just wrap it up with ‘anyway’?”
– Even if you knew the process, it wouldn’t be useful. Because everyone’s different. I’m saying I learned that if you really do your best, there’s nothing you can’t do. Ah, then I’m hanging up. I have a date today so I need to get ready.
“A date? Where are you going?”
– We’re going to see a movie. But I’m so excited. What should I do? The world looks pink. Wow…
Yoonjo listened to Seonghyeon talk several times about how his life was rewarding and the world was shining brilliantly, then eventually hung up without even saying goodbye. Not that Seonghyeon replied anyway. He seemed to be preparing for his date.
Yoonjo, who had been examining a few words scribbled randomly in his diary, looked carefully at the words “movie” and “date.”
“Hmm…”
There was a movie theater—no, a cinema here too, but that place was too old and quiet. Most of the films shown were old works tailored to the tastes of the elderly. The latest movies that played daily at franchise theaters were almost impossible to dream of.
“A date…”
‘From kindness that’s nothing at all, just like that~’
Yoonjo, who had been slowly retracing the words his classmate left behind, tapped the edge of the paper with his pen. Then, after searching for something on his phone, he focused again on making a schedule. He needed to finish this quickly so he could see Seonwoo.
***
“Hyung, I’m here.”
Yoonjo, who opened the unlocked door handle, came into the room while kicking off the slippers he had worn as if throwing them. Only after washing his hands and feet cleanly did he rush toward Seonwoo, who was sitting on the sofa reading a book. To be precise, he tried to, but Seonwoo quickly stood up and sat at the edge of the sofa, foiling Yoonjo’s plan.
Naturally. So naturally that no one would notice anything strange, he had planned to nestle into Seonwoo. If this kind of skinship continued, wouldn’t holding hands also become natural? But Yoonjo’s plan was derailed from the start.
Yoonjo, who clicked his tongue knowingly or unknowingly, sat down in the middle of the sofa as close as possible to Seonwoo. When Seonwoo moved a bit farther away, Yoonjo closed the distance by as much as it had increased.
“Isn’t it really cold here?”
“…Should I turn off the air conditioner?”
“No. It’s fine.”
When Yoonjo pouted at the firm attitude that wouldn’t let even a needle through, Seonwoo’s hand suddenly touched his forehead.
“Your forehead’s a bit hot… Did you work today?”
“I didn’t… work, but I did use my brain a bit. Hyung, what were you looking at?”
Yoonjo, who suddenly approached, looked at the book he was reading while pressing his chest against Seonwoo’s shoulder. It was a book that faithfully followed the saying that black things are letters and white things are paper. Yoonjo, who had narrowed his eyes and scanned the content to see what he was reading, looked at the title written in the corner of the book. It was <Klingsor’s Last Summer>.
“This book is so old.”
“It’s good because it’s a classic. The fact that it’s been loved for a long time means it’s been verified.”
“Then hyung has also been loved for a long time, so you must be a verified actor.”
Seonwoo flinched at the casual words. Whether Yoonjo knew it or not, he looked at the book Seonwoo was reading again and suddenly said.
“Ah, right. Hyung, can I sleep at your house today?”
“Why? I thought Yoonjo liked sleeping with Grandma and Grandpa.”
Seonwoo, who recalled that Yoonjo had casually said he liked being with Grandma and Grandpa, looked at Yoonjo with a puzzled expression. He could have guessed the reason, but Seonwoo chose to ask anyway. Receiving Seonwoo’s gaze, Yoonjo soon replied hesitantly.
“No, it’s just…”
Yoonjo stretched his arm on the sofa backrest and leaned back almost as if lying down, then lowered his eyebrows downward. His lips naturally protruded sulkily.
“Actually, I really don’t like sleeping alone. So… We don’t need to sleep together, but I need to be in the same space…? I really hate being home alone…. That’s why I deliberately chose a 4-person dorm room. Anyway, listen. This time the Rural Development Association is installing an air conditioner at our village hall. Apparently some anonymous donor made a donation or something. So some of the elderly people are going to sleep at the hall until the heat passes.”
“……”
“But they said I can’t. The hall is small and can fit exactly ten people, so with me it’s eleven and there’s no space! Does that make sense? Do you know what Grandma said before going to the field earlier? She told me not to sleep with the fan on my face. Said it’ll suffocate me. This is… The fan isn’t even an animal that breathes…. Ah, of course I know she said it because she’s worried about me, but then shouldn’t she sleep at the hall with me? Why do I have to sleep with a fan? It’s not even a person.”
Yoonjo, who fired off everything without even taking a breath, grabbed Seonwoo’s hand with both hands as if praying and added. His eyes looked more serious than ever.
“I’ll make you breakfast, and lunch… I can’t make lunch, but I’ll make you dinner too. I’ll walk Dongtae every day too. Let me sleep here. Hyung, you just lie in your room and I’ll be crumpled up in the living room like a fairy bride, as if I’m there but not there, and then I’ll prepare breakfast and go to work. When I come back, I’ll prepare dinner and take Dongtae for a walk. Okay? Hyung? Okaaay?”
Dongtae, whose name was called, had been lying quietly in a corner of the living room and walked toward Yoonjo with pattering steps. The sound of his claws scraping against the living room floor could be heard, and soon Dongtae’s warm nose touched Yoonjo’s calf. When Yoonjo reached out his hand, Dongtae sat down and quietly felt the touch. Yoonjo turned his body completely and roughly petted Dongtae’s face here and there on his fluffy fur.
“Dongtae-ya. You’d like it if I slept here too, right? Should we go for a walk?”
At the word “walk,” Dongtae’s tail wagged a bit harder. As a reward for playing hard and taking him for walks, Dongtae’s tail wagged faster as time went on. Thinking that the day wasn’t far off when he’d see the propeller tail he often saw on video sites, Yoonjo blinked at the hot yet moist thing touching his cheek.
“Dongtae, did you kiss hyung? Aww, so cute. You’d like it if I was here too, right? You like me taking you for walks every day, don’t you?”
Yoonjo laughed emptily at the warmth touching here and there on his face. Then, just as Dongtae’s tongue was about to touch his lips, his body was pushed back. Seonwoo’s hand was on his chest.
“I got it, so get up for now. We need to go buy clothes for Dongtae.”
“You just said you got it? I’m sleeping here today? I’m going to sleep here?”
Yoonjo’s voice, as if hoping for confirmation, even seemed quite joyful. Seonwoo, who was watching such a Yoonjo, let out a sigh knowingly or unknowingly. Isn’t it too obvious… He rubbed his face with one hand and replied casually.
“…Yeah.”
“Yessss!!”
Yoonjo jumped up and down, shaking Dongtae’s face wildly, then grabbed Seonwoo’s shoulders and danced bouncily. Inadvertently, Seonwoo also swayed along. Of course, it was closer to the fact that he didn’t shake on his own but fluttered like a sheet of paper due to Yoonjo’s strength.
Because the road was wide open, they deliberately turned off the air conditioner and opened the windows. The fresh scent carried by the sultry wind rushed into the car. The sound of green barley swaying in the wide rice fields could be heard occasionally. The barley field, swaying and swaying, then straightening its back again, was spread out clearly under the bright sky.
“Today’s weather is really great. Right, hyung?”
Seonwoo, who had roughly brushed back his hair, glanced at Yoonjo, who was excitedly shaking his legs and now even wiggling his fingers. Sunlight poured generously on top of Yoonjo’s head, dyeing the tips white. His sparkling hair swayed wildly in the wind.
“Dongtae-ya, you’re happy we’re going out to play, right?”
Yoonjo, who had turned his body slightly to roughly pet Dongtae’s head, looked at Seonwoo and smiled showing his teeth. Instead of answering, Seonwoo smiled a little and reached out to briefly brush Yoonjo’s hair.
As he turned his head to focus on driving again, an old general store flashed past the window where Yoonjo was sitting. The conversation with Yeongyeom from a few days ago suddenly came to mind.
‘That kid, you said you’re nothing to each other.’
When he was about to go outside the village to find Yoonjo, Yeongyeom had asked abruptly. For now, Seonwoo and Yoonjo were nothing to each other. Above all, Yoonjo was hetero. Sometimes the village elderly talked about his ex-girlfriend, and hadn’t Yoonjo also said he dated women?
Nevertheless, Seonwoo couldn’t answer Yeongyeom’s question easily. Because Yoonjo’s recent behavior, precisely speaking, his changed behavior from a few days ago, was strange to anyone’s eyes.
‘…We just see each other often, nothing else.’
‘Then why does he look at you with those eyes?’
‘……’
As if he clearly knew the answer, Yeongyeom’s voice was quite irritable. Nevertheless, Seonwoo couldn’t answer. If he opened his mouth and expressed it in words, he was afraid that would make it real.
The best a coward can do is turn away from reality, hold their breath, and ultimately remain silent. Seonwoo hoped that until the very, very end, Yoonjo would just maintain an appropriately good relationship with him and then leave. Nevertheless, he occasionally felt uneasy. When he came to his senses, he would be touching Yoonjo, and he would be surprised at himself.
‘…It’s because he met his favorite actor.’
‘A fan looks at you with those eyes?’
At the retort as if it was absurd, Seonwoo smiled bitterly. That was all he could do. Like a buoy that sways and sways but can never leave its position, Ki Seonwoo had to float around the sea.
