When I startled and tried to pull away from him, Kim Haewon held my waist.
“Um, Esper Kim Haewon.”
“Just leave it.”
“Pardon?”
“They can’t come in anyway. We have to go to Pamundong tomorrow right away, and we don’t have much time.”
Kim Haewon’s words were right. However, I felt somewhat embarrassed.
“Won’t you get off? What are you doing!”
Nam Ihyeon’s voice rang loudly. Unable to do this or that, I picked up the phone I’d thrown on the bed. And I called Nam Ihyeon. He answered the phone while dangling from the window.
— Hey! What are you doing?
“Geez. What train boiler did you eat? I’m, I’m guiding.”
— Didn’t you say you only guide with your hands?
“The situation… turned out that way. I have to go to Pamundong tomorrow too.”
I didn’t know why I was making excuses for this, but I mumbled and continued anyway. Then Nam Ihyeon answered with a snort.
— So you’re going to climb on top of Kim Haewon in broad daylight and shake your hips?
“Sh-shake my hips? What are you talking about!”
“What kind of conversation are you having?”
“No, Esper Nam Ihyeon seems to have misunderstood. That Esper Kim Haewon and I are doing… such things.”
Kim Haewon snatched the phone and pressed the speakerphone button.
— You crazy bastard, won’t you get down right now?
“Who are you to give orders to my guide?”
— Hey, you crazy bastard. I know you’re in a rush but still. In broad daylight, fuck, in a hospital room…
“Isn’t your involvement in others’ private lives too excessive? And this place should be off-limits to anyone but me, are you planning to trespass?”
— Hey, you call that talking!
Kim Haewon lifted me up in his arms. I flailed while being held tightly in his embrace. He held me suspended and approached the window, then made eye contact with Nam Ihyeon.
“Do you want to watch that badly?”
“Es-Esper Kim Haewon. Um, listen.”
— Move aside, you fucking bastard. I’m going to break this and come in.
“If you get disciplined any more, you won’t be able to enter this hospital room no matter how much you plead, and you probably won’t be able to contact them by phone like this either. If that’s okay with you, break it and come in.”
Kim Haewon slowly stepped back and sat on the bed. I sat on his thighs as I was. When he was standing, it was precarious so I just clung on tightly, but not now. I turned my head to look at Nam Ihyeon.
His face was coldly frozen and fire was rising from his hands. He couldn’t control his emotions. I tried to get off Kim Haewon immediately, but he gripped my waist firmly.
“Stay still.”
“No, there’s a misunderstanding.”
“Some misunderstandings are necessary at times.”
Kim Haewon’s voice was very calm. But within it, I could feel emotions frozen cold as ice. He seemed to be having some power struggle with Nam Ihyeon right now. I couldn’t take anyone’s side. One was my partner, and one was a friend who had held me up during a difficult moment. In the end, I looked at Nam Ihyeon and shouted through the speakerphone.
“We’re not doing what Esper Nam Ihyeon is thinking! We’re just increasing the contact range. So, so.”
— …
“Go back! We have to go eat, don’t we?”
— Park Garam.
“…Don’t cause trouble! And don’t get disciplined!”
— He really doesn’t know how much he has people wrapped around his finger.
Nam Ihyeon said that and hung up. He disappeared from the window just like that. My body reflexively turned toward that direction, but Kim Haewon held on firmly again. I looked at Kim Haewon and continued.
“No, why does someone who wasn’t like that get all worked up and agitated whenever they see Esper Nam Ihyeon?”
“Esper Nam Ihyeon has excessive interest in Guide Park Garam.”
“That’s just natural concern as a friend. Back then when things were hard at Pamundong, only Esper Nam Ihyeon worried about me.”
“You think I didn’t worry?”
Kim Haewon stiffened his expression and raised his voice. I was momentarily at a loss for words. Kim Haewon worried about me? Back then there were too many misunderstandings between us. Kim Haewon had suspected me, and I got upset at that suspicion and spoke to him as if scratching him haphazardly. When I suffered feeling like my existence was being denied, only Nam Ihyeon told me I did well.
But what if Kim Haewon couldn’t say those words? What if he held the feelings he belatedly told me inside?
“Let’s stop here for today. Guiding seems difficult.”
Kim Haewon tried to let me go. Then I reflexively wrapped my arms around his neck.
“I’ll do it. Guiding.”
“Guide Park Garam.”
If we grew distant like this, we would end up several steps further apart again. Even without seeing the future, even without reading it as a novel, I could instinctively know. I continued while holding Kim Haewon tightly.
“You said I always do things my own way. I’m going to do what I want today too, so know that. Let’s start guiding.”
Kim Haewon spread the hand he was trying to pull away from me and embraced my waist. I felt his large hand on my lower back. I felt like his hands always had a cool energy. I tried not to think of other things and focused solely on Kim Haewon’s inside.
His inside had become a mess again after the Pamundong battle. However, because it was much better than when I hadn’t guided, entry wasn’t difficult. Moreover, having a wide contact range was like a whole new world. It felt like going from two hands to eight hands. I could touch here, I could touch there too.
It felt like touching every part of him and putting life force into him. Kim Haewon instinctively pulled me into his embrace. It seemed he liked his body being healed. I hugged him tightly as he approached me like a big puppy. Then I poured in my remaining guiding energy.
“Hng.”
Since it was my first time guiding with a wide contact range, unfamiliar sounds came from my mouth. Kim Haewon also seemed to be breathing lowly. I wanted to refine more of his inside.
But there was a limit to my inside. If I lost consciousness and collapsed again, there would be problems going to Pamundong tomorrow. Plus I had to guide tomorrow too. I guided until just before I would collapse and stopped. Then I released the strength from the hands that had been embracing Kim Haewon’s neck.
Kim Haewon gently laid me down on the bed. My breath came out in gasps. It felt like the energy in my body had hit rock bottom. I continued while breathing heavily.
“How is it?”
Kim Haewon said nothing and just looked at me, then removed the hair stuck to my forehead. He was meticulous in unnecessary parts at times. However, since I really couldn’t even move a finger, I stayed as I was. Kim Haewon looked at me and got up from his seat.
“It’s much more effective. Let’s do it like this from now on.”
His eyes definitely seemed a bit more affectionate, but his tone was businesslike. Right. What would I expect from Kim Haewon? I just nodded to show I understood.
“I’ll come pick you up tomorrow.”
“What time will you come?”
“It’s an 11 AM flight. I’ll come by 10.”
“That’s not too early. I can fully recharge by then.”
“You’re already sufficient.”
That damn “you’re already sufficient.” I was about to retort asking how he’d defeat the four organizations like that, but Kim Haewon continued while covering me with the blanket.
“I mean don’t feel that burden and rest well.”
I was in a bad mood, but one word made me feel better immediately. If hearts had shapes, it was like my concave heart found its shape again and became convex. I puffed up my cheeks with air then deflated them while nodding. Then Kim Haewon said he’d leave first and lowered the window blinds.
“Let me know if they come again.”
“No, but Esper Nam Ihyeon really…”
“Don’t trust anyone. In the current situation, it’s better to keep distance from everyone.”
“You know he’s not that kind of person.”
“I don’t know.”
Kim Haewon was like a child deliberately giving contrary answers. However, that might be the power struggle happening in Esper Department 1. Anyway, it didn’t seem like a part for me to interfere. I thought when Nam Ihyeon misunderstood and got upset, I could explain then after knowing the exact reason. There was nothing wrong done anyway.
As I was thinking that, Kim Haewon, who had gone to the hospital room entrance, came back and made eye contact with me.
“The guiding you did with me today.”
“Yes?”
“Don’t do it with anyone.”
“Yes?”
“Say you won’t do it with anyone except me.”
“Isn’t, isn’t that obvious? This is my first time doing anything other than with hands since I was born!”
When I showed my displeasure, Kim Haewon cleared his throat. Then he turned his body again.
“Keep doing so from now on too.”
“No, what are you talking about? I can’t even guide anyone except Esper Kim Haewon in the first place. I can’t even move a finger right now…”
“Didn’t you say last time that you could do it with anyone, not to restrain you?”
“Back then we weren’t entangled in such a serious incident. Right now I have to focus only on Esper Kim Haewon. Completely.”
When I grumbled as if asking if I had to explain this much, Kim Haewon looked at me once then turned his body. Then he continued.
“It’s the same even after this is all over.”
“What?”
“There won’t be another esper. For Guide Park Garam.”
Just as I was about to say how would you know that, the hospital room door opened and closed with a bang. But that sound felt more careful than before, so it seemed like a smile crept onto my lips.
“Why, why is he like that?”
I grumbled while turning my body to the side.
