“…Why?”
“If someone who was always chattering away by your side suddenly disappeared, anyone would feel that way.”
Hearing that, I let out a hollow laugh. I had allowed myself a moment of hope — and sure enough, out came an answer just like him.
“What if I were to die in an accident before the wedding? Would it be a nuisance to have your plans fall through?”
“Yes.”
Bert hyung answered without hesitation. Not a word of it surprised me. I continued, now with a kind of steadiness.
“Would that be irritating?”
“It would.”
Bert hyung affirmed it without a flicker of discomfort. I dropped my gaze to the floor and curved my lips into a crooked, sardonic smile.
“Why are you asking things like that? Is there an answer you’re hoping for?”
Bert hyung looked at me with a puzzled expression as he said it. I smiled, eyes softening, and shook my head.
“No — it just came to mind.”
I brushed it off with that, but Bert hyung still seemed not quite satisfied and kept looking at me steadily. I shifted my eyes to the side to avoid his gaze and spoke.
“I’ll be on my way then. You were in the middle of work, weren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Take care of yourself, hyung. I’ll come again.”
“Alright.”
Only then did his interest seem to fade, and hyung looked away. After that, I wasted no time moving my feet and getting out of there.
“That person really does think Sir Rowell is someone he can walk all over. That’s arrogance, at that level. He must think he can say anything to Sir Rowell and it will be fine. I wonder if he could speak that way in front of His Majesty — that it would be a nuisance to have to postpone the wedding if His Majesty were to die unexpectedly? However he is, he must at least choose who he says things like that to.”
When I told Sir Edgar about the conversation I had with Bert hyung on the day I went to deliver the painting, he was furious.
“Let’s see how long he gets to stay that unbothered. You’ll have your revenge at the very moment those two people who have only used Sir Rowell are feeling their greatest joy. By using the magic right there at the wedding ceremony.”
Sir Edgar brought up again the proposal he had made before. No decision had yet been made on how or when to use the magic. I told him once more that I would think it over.
Sir Edgar, who had been watching quietly from beside me, spoke up.
“You look like you’re in very low spirits. Of course you wouldn’t be at ease.”
“Yes… the thought of going back home after this makes it hard to breathe.”
I said it with a sigh, and worry spread across Sir Edgar’s face. He seemed to think it over, eyes shifting — then looked at me and said,
“Then why don’t you stay at my place tonight?”
“Would that… really be alright?”
“Of course it would.”
Sir Edgar said it with a smile, and I smiled a little too, and nodded.
We tidied up the studio after that, and when the surroundings had gone completely dark, we headed to Sir Edgar’s home. Sir Edgar hailed a carriage, and we rode it together.
“It feels a bit different from the last time I had you over, somehow. I find myself a little self-conscious.”
He said that with a laugh as he stepped down from the carriage and reached his hand out to me. I took his offered hand and stepped onto the ground. Then I followed Sir Edgar’s lead as he walked ahead, and we went inside his home.
“I’ll put some tea on. Please sit and make yourself comfortable.”
“Oh — yes. Thank you.”
I went to the sitting room, which I was visiting for the second time now, and settled on the sofa to wait for him. Before long, Sir Edgar brought out a fragrant lemon tea. I smiled and thanked him once more.
Sir Edgar sat across from me and lifted his cup, and I ventured carefully to speak.
“If I were to become Sir Edgar — is there anything I would absolutely have to honor?”
“Nothing in particular. You could become a jester for all I care.”
“Ha.”
I burst into a small laugh at his joke. Still smiling, I continued.
“Give me at least one thing.”
“Hmm… let me think…”
Sir Edgar furrowed his brow and thought for a long while. It seemed nothing was coming to him.
“Well, if anything…”
After all that deliberation, Sir Edgar finally began to speak.
“I always wanted to study. Not having entered the Academy to get a proper education has always felt like something missing in me. After I became a knight, I saved up enough for tuition. I had the money put aside — but being a late student is, well, it felt like it wouldn’t be an easy path, so I kept hesitating and let the time slip away.”
“Have you decided on a field?”
“Yes — I wanted to study art history.”
“That sounds wonderful. Then let’s go to the Academy together.”
I said it with a smile, and Sir Edgar stared at me with wide eyes. He seemed caught off guard as he responded.
“Really? You don’t have to do that for me.”
“I want to do at least something for you. If that’s what you’ve been hoping for, then that’s what I’ll do.”
Sir Edgar couldn’t answer right away — he stared at me with his mouth slightly open. Then he dropped his head and said quietly,
“Thank you… alright.”
“I’m the one who should be saying thank you.”
“No — Sir Rowell always, always broadens my world. You have no idea how much that means to me. How grateful I am…”
I had barely done anything, and yet hearing words like that was both overwhelming and embarrassing. I sat there with an awkward smile, and Sir Edgar looked back at me with a warm one of his own and said,
“I’m so glad I’ve been able to grow this close to Sir Rowell. I always wanted to. Getting close like this — it’s wonderful too. The thought of Sir Rowell living on in my body — I never could have imagined it, but it feels like something truly good. After all, you can’t get any closer to someone than this, can you.”
“That’s true. It goes beyond closeness — a soul pressing itself right into a body.”
“I like that.”
I wasn’t entirely sure what exactly he meant by liking it, but I smiled along with him anyway.
After we finished our tea, when the time came to sleep, Sir Edgar showed me to the guest room. He seemed embarrassed, saying it hadn’t been used in a long time and might be dusty, and he personally shook out the blanket and pillow to rid them of dust, checking over every corner of the room.
“Thank you for taking care of it.”
I lay down on the bed following Sir Edgar’s guidance and looked up at him. His hand came toward me as he smiled down — briefly brushing through my hair before falling away.
“Sleep well.”
He said that, turned off the lamp himself, and left the room.
I tend not to fall asleep easily when I’m somewhere other than home — and yet somehow I drifted off more peacefully than I did in my own bed.
In that manor that felt nothing like a home, I had done nothing but toss and turn lately. Waking up feeling refreshed for the first time in a long while, I got up promptly and readied myself to leave before I could impose any further.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to see you home?”
“I’m fine. It’s early — please go back to sleep.”
I exchanged that farewell with Sir Edgar, who had woken at the sound of me moving around, and then I stepped outside.
I had stayed out without a word to anyone at home — but there would be no one worrying. Even if the butler was concerned, my father would do nothing. So I expected that when I returned now, everything would look as placid as it had when I left yesterday.
I stepped down from the carriage, paid the fare, and passed through the front gate. Opening the door and stepping inside, the butler, who happened to be passing, laid eyes on me and opened his wide.
I gave an apologetic smile and said,
“I’m sorry — without a word. You must have prepared a meal as well.”
“Ah… it’s quite alright. Nothing wrong, I hope?”
“Yes, of course.”
“That’s a relief. Lord Bertram is upstairs waiting for you.”
My father’s study was on the ground floor, so hearing he was upstairs struck me as a little odd.
“Is that so? Is he speaking with my father?”
“No. He arrived yesterday evening, spoke with the master, and has been waiting for you ever since.”
I heard that and couldn’t help but frown.
“I beg your pardon?”
He had been waiting for me all night?
I couldn’t imagine why hyung would do that. He must have something important enough to say to warrant it — but nothing came to mind. Puzzled, I told the butler I understood and went up the stairs.
Is he inside the room?
Coming up to the second floor, I didn’t see him right away, so I headed toward my room. No sound came from inside. I was still frowning as I took hold of the handle and opened the door.
And there, revealed inside the room, was Bert hyung — sitting in the chair beside the bed. He had only his head turned, looking out the window, but when I came in, he turned toward me.
He looked tired — his eyelids lowered just slightly.
The moment he saw me, hyung spoke. As always, his voice carried no emotion.
“Staying out without a word — that’s not like you.”
“…What is it?”
Hyung didn’t answer my question and said instead,
“Did you sleep at that knight’s house?”
The way he saw through it in an instant made my body go stiff with surprise.
“How did you know?”
“I had someone look into it.”
“You did?”
It was hard to believe Bert hyung had gone to such bother, and I asked again. What did it matter to him whether I stayed out or not?
Is he worried it might interfere with the wedding?
I tried to work out why Bert hyung had done something like that. That was the only reason I could think of. There was no way hyung would concern himself with someone else’s wellbeing.
“Why would you go that far?”
“Would you just sit still when someone you know disappears?”
“Disappears…”
“You must know there are unsettling rumors going around the city.”
“I’ll handle myself.”
Hyung’s scolding was not welcome. I had no desire to listen to him obediently anymore.
I didn’t bother hiding that I was displeased, and answered with an edge in my voice. Hyung, seemingly put out as well, frowned and said,
“What is your relationship with that knight?”
