# Chapter 42
What did I think of Han Sijin?
And how did Han Sijin think of me?
It was a bit strange that the members seemed to know about feelings that I myself wasn’t aware of.
“Chan has a lover. A girlfriend,” Han Sijin said.
“Ah, really? Did you tell the company?”
“No. Only the members know. He didn’t tell you either, Hyung, right?”
“No.”
“Then other people definitely won’t know. It was really reassuring when I heard that Chan had a girlfriend.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
It seemed like he thought he would have had to be wary of Chan too if that hadn’t been the case.
“Even if that wasn’t the case.”
“What?”
“Never mind.”
I shouldn’t have said anything.
“That day. Everything was a bit weird, right? All of it,” Han Sijin said, bringing up what happened in the fitness room.
“When I saw Lee Dagyeong kiss you, I think I really went crazy. I was so angry seeing you blankly receiving the kiss that I really wanted to kill someone.”
Han Sijin must be the most handsome and elegant person among those who say they want to kill someone.
And to say such things while even laughing.
“Hyung. We’ll meet often now, right?”
“Aren’t you busier?”
“Can I come see you when I don’t have schedules? Do you leave work at a fixed time?”
“No. I often work late.”
“Really? I thought you’d leave right on time.”
“There’s a lot to learn. Right now, I’m not just doing the tasks I’m given.”
As I was speaking, I met his gaze, which looked at me like I was saying something strange.
I see. He wouldn’t understand.
“Why are you working so hard? Just take it easy. Take care of yourself.”
“Right.”
I smiled awkwardly, thinking that someday there would come a time when I would tell Han Sijin everything about me.
What kind of face would Han Sijin make when he found out about me?
Would he get angry, asking why I hadn’t told him?
Even if he didn’t get angry, would he feel hurt?
As I was lost in various thoughts, Han Sijin took my hand again.
“Hyung. I really like you. If it weren’t for you, I would have been nothing. Even until now.”
“No. You would have shined on your own. You were already like that when I came to meet you.”
I never thought I’d say such things, but somehow those words were coming out.
* * *
There were several meetings about the advertising concept.
Noona didn’t seem to particularly like the advertising proposal, but I thought it was quite sensible.
Noona seemed to think she couldn’t approve it as it was.
But when our eyes accidentally met, I tried hard to convey with my eyes that she shouldn’t do that.
Noona seemed like she was about to tell them to try again, but she hesitated after seeing my expression.
The people in the meeting room seemed to know roughly how the atmosphere would flow, but when Noona hesitated for a moment and then said let’s see it again next time, they looked at each other.
Someone even asked a question as if they were confused about what that meant.
“Are you perhaps going to confirm it as it is…?”
“Yes.”
Noona just said that much.
My shoulders felt heavy because it seemed like she had to confirm it unwillingly because of me.
After the meeting, Noona called me.
People didn’t seem to find it strange that Noona often called me separately despite my low position.
There was an atmosphere where it was naturally accepted that I played an important role in this project because I had been the manager of Crop Five at Grand Tamer.
When we were left alone, Noona looked at me with a puzzled expression.
“Why did you do that earlier?”
“I think it’s important to leave such things to the experts. Once the momentum for such work drops, people tend to lose motivation. And if higher-ups keep nitpicking, they’ll start thinking about making proposals that Noona would like rather than the best proposals for the market.”
“…I think I know trends well too.”
“Noona, you’re not an expert in that field. Work is most efficient when done by experts, right?”
“Yes. That’s true. Your point makes sense. I’m learning from my younger brother.”
Noona said with a gentle smile.
“Thank you, Noona.”
“Don’t mention it. You’re just telling the truth.”
As things progressed smoothly, the advertising shoot schedule was also set quickly.
Before, even when I wanted to watch broadcasts featuring Crop Five, it often didn’t work out as intended, but now I liked that I could watch proudly.
Who would say anything if I said I was doing it to learn about the models?
Nobody would say anything from the beginning anyway.
When other people watched the broadcast together and talked about each member’s strengths and charm points, I would feel pleased as if I was being praised.
Each time, people would look at me and smile.
Asking if I still found Crop Five so lovely.
Some even asked if I wanted to quit Seyoung Electronics and go back to being Crop Five’s manager.
Every time, I just smiled and moved on, but unlike before, I kept having thoughts that I wanted to go back.
Beyond the vision, I thought I would feel comfortable just by going to a place where there were people I missed.
I stayed at Crop Five’s dorm, and Team Leader Hyun contacted me.
He asked if I had any thoughts of coming back, and I was honestly swayed by his casual question.
He said Crop Five was now on the path to success and would achieve even greater success in the future, asking if I was confident I wouldn’t regret it then, but honestly, that didn’t matter to me.
Just, wanting to see the kids I had raised grow well by their side?
And in addition to that, wanting to spend a lot of time with Han Sijin.
Nowadays, whenever Han Sijin came to mind, I intentionally denied those thoughts and barely contacted him.
But sometimes, when I looked at my feelings thinking I should be honest, I could tell that my feelings for him were definitely different from those for other people.
“I’m really looking forward to this. Crop Five fans are already spreading the word in advance.”
This product was being released after the smartphone that had caused phenomenal sales worthy of being called a syndrome after its launch, so Noona was also feeling a lot of pressure.
Even though the items were different and comparing them was meaningless, the media daily heightened tension with titles like how far Seyoung Electronics’ solo run would continue, or how long Seyoung Electronics’ stronghold would be maintained.
I even wondered if those who had antipathy towards Seyoung Electronics’ leadership in the smartphone industry were trying to weaken Seyoung Electronics’ image by highlighting poor performance in less influential sectors.
In that situation, selecting Crop Five as the advertising models turned the surrounding situation favorable.
Even during their personal broadcasts, Crop Five repeatedly mentioned the fact that they had signed an advertising contract with Seyoung Electronics and didn’t hide their excitement talking about reuniting with me.
And seeing that, fans responded by saying they would like to see me in the video again.
Of course, I thought such a thing wouldn’t happen, but that was just my thought.
* * *
“Noona. This. The storyboard seems a bit strange?”
On the day of the advertising shoot.
While moving to the site in the car with Noona, I was looking at the storyboard when I noticed it had been changed and said in surprise.
“Oh, that? The advertising agency asked if we could do it that way, and I thought it was good, so I said let’s do it.”
“Why… suddenly?”
“It’s realistic, right? People will find it interesting, and the level of focus would be tremendous, don’t you think? It’s the first time you’re meeting with Crop Five on broadcast after the show ended. That’s our advertisement. Can you imagine? How tremendous the influence would be?”
I couldn’t deny it.
I knew that would really be the case.
But why so suddenly?
When I asked Noona, she laughed heartily and said it must be because of me.
“Me? Why me?”
“I don’t know how hard you played with the members, but after having a wrap-up party with you, Crop Five seems to be busy talking about you wherever they go, and fans also seem to be recalling memories of you.”
“No. Still…”
The changed storyboard had me becoming their daily manager and going on a trip with them to spend a good time, with scenes of using Seyoung Electronics’ home appliances naturally included in the video.
The focus was on the reunion of the manager and members so that people wouldn’t realize it was an advertisement just by watching, but I was worried about how much advertising effect that would have.
However, Noona repeated what I had said before.
“Didn’t you say to leave such things to the experts? And this is the expert’s opinion. Let’s believe them.”
“You want me to go and do this as is? The kids will have come all done with makeup.”
After grumbling about this and that, I found myself complaining about it.
I had to accept that further outright refusal would be useless.
“Don’t worry. They’re already on their way to the shop now.”
“Haa…”
Why does my life seem to get more difficult as it goes on?
* * *
On the way, I couldn’t hide my nervousness at the fact that I would soon meet Crop Five again.
Why was I trembling like this?
