# Chapter 99
Even time that seems endless eventually comes to an end. That fact, cruel in its fairness, is sometimes sad and sometimes comforting.
What would our end be like? I had imagined it many ways. Some say that moments are more beautiful because they have an ending, but I wished for our conclusion to be the happiest. I wanted us to hold hands and smile together, giving more brilliant meaning to every moment we had passed through. Perhaps that hope was the only thing that lifted me when I had crumbled so miserably. The hope that tomorrow would be better. The wish that when we stood at the summit after steadily advancing, we would be looking at each other.
But now, I was living a somewhat different time. Life after that end I had desperately wished for. The ordinary days that came after that war-like period were like leaves absorbing sunlight. Whether embraced by warm sunshine or cooled by refreshing winds, I lived each day without hesitation. Even knowing that another form of hardship would someday approach, I was joyful without reservation. Each day was filled with unpredictable events, and happiness followed every breath. Time flowed quietly and slowly as always, but I no longer waited for or feared what lay ahead.
So the end was still far away.
Because I wasn’t looking at the final moment.
“The rain keeps coming.”
It rained heavily on the day Devan left. Not torrential rain pouring down like rods, but soft drizzle that gently settled on clothes. Despite the light rainfall, my entire body was soon soaked. I had only walked around a bit, hovering near him as he packed his belongings, yet water pooled beneath my feet. Devan looked at me, smiled, and stretched out his hand. With his light touch, the faint chill instantly disappeared.
“Can I visit you?”
I had intended to see him off calmly like a proper adult, but in the end, I asked like a child. Devan glanced briefly at Kadilen standing beside me.
“Only if you come alone.”
“…You’d better get going now.”
Kadilen immediately urged Devan to leave. We laughed together at Kadilen’s motion of forcibly pushing Devan’s back. But due to my sadness, the laughter didn’t last long, and I soon looked dejected. I tried to hide my inevitably sinking mood, but Devan read my face like a ghost.
“Feeling disappointed?”
“I don’t know. It’s just… sad thinking you’re going so far away.”
He had been given what was once Arzel’s castle. More precisely, the place that had once been his homeland. He said he would erase the traces of blood and pain, creating a space where one could freely roam the vast plains. He said he would build a new training ground there to help young magicians so they wouldn’t suffer as he had. Though nothing had happened yet, I firmly believed the castle he would cultivate would be amazingly beautiful. Because he was the most wonderful magician I knew.
“I’m not going far.”
Devan gently consoled me.
“With just a flick of my hand, I can be by your side.”
He playfully made a gesture of waving his hand. His fingers, moving brilliantly, came before my eyes in the blink of an eye. I thought he might give me a light tap on the head, but instead, Devan reached his arm over and quietly embraced me.
“Will you come often?”
“Call me anytime. Don’t feel sad.”
I nodded, burying my face in his shoulder. I wanted to hug him longer until I was resolved to let him go, but there was someone watching our emotional embrace with disapproval. Kadilen cleared his throat loudly and folded his arms. Devan withdrew from me with a laugh. His raised hands waved gently as if signaling surrender.
“I’m really going now.”
Sharp but warmer than anyone else’s, his eyes gazed at me one last time. A gaze still excessive and breathtaking. Though it was just a momentary glance, I could measure all the meaning contained in those eyes. Devan turned around and disappeared, leaving behind a breeze that tickled my hair. I stood there forlornly for a while where he had left. Kadilen waited for me silently.
When I returned to my room after completing that difficult and lengthy farewell, I discovered something hard in my pocket. It was different in shape and color from the previous one, but I could immediately understand its purpose. I clutched the pure white stone and imagined his voice.
‘Make the choice that’s right for you, Ludin. Whatever it is, I’ll help you.’
* * *
Kadilen tried to let Wimu go. It was not an easy decision for him. The reason he decided to send away the right-hand man who always protected him was because he truly cared for him. From rebellion and usurpation to monitoring Arzel and Luan, to commanding the royal army, Wimu had been running without rest. He had rushed breathlessly without a moment to relax. Kadilen was often surprised that he, who had gone through all sorts of ups and downs with him, had no complaints.
Shortly after Kadilen and I recovered our health, he fell seriously ill. When he, who had even postponed his pain for us, finally lay in a sickbed, Kadilen made his decision. An order was issued that he could leave the palace to rest, even if just for a while. Wimu was silent for a long time, they say. Kadilen must have been anxious waiting through that profound silence. After such a long time without even blinking, Wimu quietly shook his head. Kadilen left the room without demanding more.
“Are you alright now?”
Even though I heard he had refused rest on his own, my worry didn’t subside. I deliberately annoyed Wimu by following him around as he trained soldiers. I hoped Wimu would rest a little, even if just to avoid me interfering with his work. But Wimu never got angry and answered kindly each time. I’m not in pain, or Have you eaten?
“Take care of yourself first!”
One day, grateful yet saddened by his demeanor, I shouted loudly. I hoped that his consistently calm gaze would waver just a little. But Wimu looked at me with an even more resolute gaze. I was the one who felt intimidated. As I was awkwardly checking his reaction after shouting out of frustration, Wimu approached me smoothly. And spoke quietly.
“You are me.”
“…”
“Kadilen is me.”
My mouth opened with a surge of emotion. But Wimu smiled.
“I’m a person with two things I want to protect. So don’t worry too much.”
“…”
“In the end, it’s all for me. Your happiness, his happiness too.”
Wimu looked so genuinely happy saying this that I couldn’t find any more words. Instead, I decided to adopt a different strategy. Giving up on annoying him since it was useless, I smiled more brightly in front of him. If my happiness makes you happy, then I should try my best to be happy. I should smile with all my heart and never fall ill. No matter how difficult a moment might come, we should gain even more strength for each other.
Wimu read my intention. One day, when I stood before him as he trained, lifting the corners of my mouth widely, Wimu smiled with me like a mirror. It was the most joyful and charming smile of his that I had seen.
* * *
The child grew vigorously. It’s certain that a child’s day is longer than an adult’s. Today is different, and tomorrow is different too. Though only a few months had passed, Rio’s height had nearly doubled, and now he could even make quite serious expressions. Having moved beyond simple tasks like organizing medicinal ingredients to being entrusted with fairly plausible work, each time he would close his mouth neatly and unnecessarily furrow his brow. When I approached because that ill-fitting expression was so cute and funny, he would explain in great detail with a grave face that it was important work.
Nevertheless, he hadn’t lost his childlike purity, showing shining curiosity even for small things. Whenever Kadilen brought new herbs for the child, Rio marveled at each leaf, each stem of the plant. He still looked at the world with sparkling eyes. Both the breaking sunlight and the softly piling snow crystals became more beautiful when they touched Rio’s eyes. Even unwelcome beads of sweat and the occasional pain from old scars became blunted knives when passing through Rio. The child was unceasingly lovable, and I was so grateful that his life could be peaceful.
“Lord Ludin! Look at this.”
“Flowers are blooming brightly in the garden, let’s go see them together!”
“Lord Ludin. Thank you.”
The child’s calls were always delightful. His clear laughter was refreshing. When I followed his pattering footsteps, pretending to be reluctant, a new world always unfolded. A world as clear and dazzling as Rio.
And there was another person who closely resembled him.
A person who always willingly extended a hand even in moments when it seemed impossible to stand. A person who had countless times rescued me with unconditional support and encouragement. A person who was constantly restless, worrying that I might shed tears, though he never harmed anything.
Jiman was there.
* * *
“It’s a nice day.”
He looked peaceful with his eyes closed, feeling the wind. I moved my body, languid in the pleasant temperature, and sat beside him. Jiman sat motionless, gently holding the sunlight falling upon him. A warm, bright yellow light that suited him well. I couldn’t take my eyes off Jiman like that.
“Do you remember when I said I would treat you differently when you returned?”
Though it was from a distant past, it wasn’t easy to forget. On that day when he took my soul away like a different person, Jiman left such an explosive statement behind my departing back. I remembered being completely bewildered by that uncharacteristically bold declaration. Jiman opened his closed eyes and looked at me.
“I will touch you once more, Ludin.”
His face suddenly approached. I pulled back in surprise, but Jiman charged forward, unconcerned. But unlike last time, where he touched was not my lips, but my forehead. My spirit quickly departed at the brief kiss he left like a mark. Jiman looked with a smile at me, frozen in a daze.
“Jiman?”
Yes, he was certainly smiling, but…
“Is something wrong?”
I thought it was his usual smile, but it looked different somehow. A bitter scent lingering at the end of a sweet candy. Just like that, Jiman was smiling. With a lonely fragrance.
“I am leaving, Ludin.”
“…”
“Leaving my heart that can never depart by your side, I will use this humble body for the world.”
And then he approached me once more.
