“Huh…? I just lay down for the first time today?”
The protest was perfectly valid, but it didn’t land. He poked at the thigh beneath him — not the least bit soft, just plain hard.
“You must work out a lot? You seemed like you were always cooped up at home — when did you find the time?”
“Get your hand off.”
Kwon Wookyung looked so genuinely uncomfortable that Haehyeon actually couldn’t pull back immediately. Out of sheer stubbornness, he poked the muscle-packed leg a couple more times before finally removing his hand.
Apparently dissatisfied with that, Kwon Wookyung clenched his jaw hard enough for the muscles to show — then suddenly raised his hand and scrubbed roughly at Haehyeon’s forehead as if taking out his frustration. The touch was rough.
“Ow, hey!”
“……You’re so aggravating.”
He only stopped after getting lightly swatted on the back of the hand. But the corners of his mouth loosened again — after venting, he visibly looked much better.
Haehyeon blinked slowly, fighting off drowsiness. They had to be almost there — there was no point falling asleep now only to wake up again right away. Instead, he said something that had been sitting inside him for the past few days.
“Hey.”
“Yeah.”
“You make me lonely.”
“……What do you mean?”
He hadn’t wanted to sound as childish as a little kid, but what came out had sounded exactly that childish.
What can he do. The fact that his mental age lagged behind his physical age was just the truth… Kwon Wookyung would have to understand that.
“Why won’t you listen to what I have to say?”
Kwon Wookyung’s mysteriousness about never revealing his own feelings wasn’t anything new — Haehyeon could accept that. But in exchange, Wookyung had always listened well whenever Haehyeon talked. So of everything Haehyeon had ever said out loud, Kwon Wookyung had heard more of it than anyone else, and knew more of it than anyone else.
“Even just today — you wouldn’t even sit next to me.”
He complained.
“The others were already sitting next to you.”
“The seats kept changing the whole time. Don’t make excuses.”
He kept complaining.
“It wasn’t just today either. Is it really that hard to pick up quickly and text back?”
There are so many people lining up to be his friend — this guy has no idea how precious I am.
“Okay. I’ll do better from now on.”
Unexpectedly, the response that came back was gentle, without any further excuses.
Haehyeon had been ready to grumble more, but now he had to quietly swallow his displaced irritation and get rid of it on his own.
“You better hold the seat next to me.”
“Sure.”
“Actually, right now too — me being on your right feels a little off. You forgot where your spot is, didn’t you?”
Him on the left, Kwon Wookyung on the right. That was always how it had been.
Truth be told, back when they first met in first grade, Kwon Wookyung had been on the left. Back then, the guy kept staring out the window so much that Haehyeon had been curious what on earth was so interesting — he’d craned his neck to look, and eventually… just taken the seat. He quickly figured out that nothing particularly interesting ever happened outside the window, but he kept sitting in the stolen seat anyway. From then on, it had been tacitly understood that whenever they were in the same class, they were always seatmates — Haehyeon on the left, Kwon Wookyung on the right.
Even when class was boring and he’d been gazing out at the sky, the moment he turned his head, Kwon Wookyung would be there — sitting perfectly upright, reading a book without a hair out of place. At arm’s length away, reachable any time he stretched out his right hand.
“I didn’t forget.”
“That sounds like a lie.”
Just then, a familiar residential neighborhood came into view. A little further in was home.
“Driver, please let us out here.”
“We haven’t reached the address yet.”
“I want to walk the rest of the way.”
Kwon Wookyung paid for the taxi too. Haehyeon got out first and spritzed himself with the deodorant spray he’d brought. All sorts of pheromones would have rubbed off on him a little, and it was obvious his younger-older brother — the neat freak — would grimace and complain the moment he saw him.
They walked side by side.
“By the way — you drank a lot tonight, but you seem fine.”
He had clearly seen person after person come up to Wookyung and pour drink after drink into his glass. Kwon Wookyung had accepted every single one without refusing. And yet there he was, walking steadily without even a wobble — it was impressive.
“When I’m tense, I don’t get drunk easily. I have occasions to drink with directors and writers fairly often.”
“Then the payment back at the restaurant — was that because you were drunk?”
“Of course not. I paid because I wanted to…… it was the kind of occasion that called for it.”
Kwon Wookyung pulled the corners of his lips up ever so slightly.
It was a rare smile Haehyeon was seeing for the first time today.
He had apparently smiled once already in front of the staff member, so that made twice today in total.
Haehyeon suddenly understood why the staff member had turned red — he gave a small, meaningless “ahem” and cleared his throat.
“Take this.”
When they arrived in front of Kwon Wookyung’s house, Haehyeon held out the bouquet he’d been carrying.
“Why?”
“You kept staring at it. If you like it, put it in a vase in your room.”
At entrance ceremonies, graduation ceremonies, recitals — any day when every kid had at least one bouquet in their arms, he used to ask his mother to get flowers for Kwon Wookyung too. Some days he had held too many flowers to carry alone and they’d split them up for photos, and other days he had personally bought flowers to celebrate Wookyung’s performances.
He’d done it genuinely as a gesture of celebration, but also partly because he suspected that Wookyung — who rarely talked about his own preferences — seemed to like flowers quite a bit. Whenever Haehyeon was hugging an armful of bouquets and smiling, Wookyung would stare at the flowers intently. Since the guy never clearly said he liked or disliked anything, you had to read him through glances like that.
“……Kim Minji gave you that.”
“Like she’d know. Put it nicely in a vase. I’m going to come see it.”
He’d even given him flowers his mother had bought before — Wookyung hesitating about it now was almost funny.
“Hey — you’re going to answer my messages quickly, right?”
“Got it.”
“If you don’t, I’ll come over. I’ll open the door lock and just walk right in.”
“Do whatever you want.”
Haehyeon watched Kwon Wookyung take the bouquet and disappear through the front gate, then headed home. His oldest hyung was outside the gate as expected. Haejun hyung, who had been leaning against the wall, smiled and came over when he saw him.
“I’m home, hyung.”
“Did you have fun?”
“Yeah. It was incredibly loud. Did you wait long for me?”
“No, not that long. Are you tired?”
“A little? I think washing up and sleeping will be just right.”
“Good. Oh — before that, there’s something I want to show you for a sec.”
“What is it?”
“Follow me and you’ll see.”
Haejun hyung smiled with meaning and walked ahead.
Following behind him across the garden, Haehyeon saw his father standing under a tree, beckoning.
“Oh……!”
He looked up at the tree and his mouth fell open.
The almond tree had begun to bloom — one or two flowers opening at a time. White as moonlight even in the dark.
His father’s smile shone just as serenely.
“There are so many buds on it — it’ll be truly beautiful when it’s in full bloom, won’t it?”
“……Really.”
Haehyeon stared absently at the branches swaying gently in the breeze.
Hello? You’ve come back too.
Ah.
Tonight, I think I’ll have a good dream.
The next day, having slept deeply and woken up late.
He suffered from a mild headache. Was this a hangover?
It was far too unfair a physical reaction to experience from just two sips of soju.
His sleep felt strangely unfinished and his throat was parched, so he first drank the lukewarm water left on the nightstand.
“……Ahh.”
Why does water taste so sweet? No matter how much he drank, it never felt like enough.
Before going downstairs, he checked his phone for a moment — the group chat was flooded with a string of messages venting about him for having left early.
He uploaded a bunch of photos from yesterday along with a [😛]. He mass-uploaded Hwang Hyunseo’s profile from the side, the others laughing and chattering, and selfies they had taken together — all straight from his previously empty photo album.
Kim Minji: nonononono
Kim Minji: WHERE ARE MY HUMAN RIGHTS??????
Kim Minji: Haehyeon?????? what the heck
Kim Minji: pls delete pls ㅠ
Among the photos, of course, was Kim Minji passed out drunk and completely out of it.
Me: because of you
Me: i almost lost my leg yesterday
Me: what?
Me: YOU’RE going to teach me how to drink?
Me: you?
Lee Dogyeong: lmaooooooooooooooooo
Lee Dogyeong: saved
Choi Seonho: hey she bolted wide awake the second someone said second round
Choi Seonho: went and drank more
Choi Seonho: pure instinct lmaooooooo
Choi Seonho had uploaded a ton of photos from the second round, and while scrolling through them, Haehyeon sent a text to Kwon Wookyung.
Me: you up?
Just then, Shin Haechan rudely walked into the room without knocking.
“You’re finally up? The sun’s already high in the sky.”
His hyung threw open the curtains and bright sunlight came pouring into the room.
“Ugh… too bright.”
“You couldn’t even drink and you were out having fun — why do you look like this?”
The comment made him feel a pang of guilt, so he quietly headed downstairs for food.
Shin Haechan had already eaten, and while Haehyeon had his brunch, he sat across from him and picked out the fish bones for him. It was because Haehyeon’s chopstick skills were still clumsy.
“Had yourself a grand time, did you?”
Spooning the warm doenjang jjigae made him feel considerably better. He found himself focused on the soup more than the rice.
“Yeah. More than twenty people showed up.”
“They’ve got a lot of time on their hands.”
“No they don’t? There was even someone who crossed the Pacific for me.”
“Sounds like they have nothing better to do.”
“Oh come on — she’s in an American ballet company. She’s doing really well.”
His hyung snorted and flaked the dried yellow corvina, placing the pieces neatly in the bowl.
His friends were all genuinely out there, each finding their own path and fighting their own battles. Seeing them yesterday had made that feel vivid and real. What am I actually supposed to do? He knew that he was starting late, and that he needed to go somewhere — but he couldn’t even get a sense of which direction to head.
“Don’t go mashing up the fish I took the time to fillet nicely.”
He’d been lost in thought and started poking at the fish pieces, and got scolded for it. His hyung, who spent his time at home doing nothing but lazing around and picking on his younger sibling (not that Haehyeon wanted to admit it), was — a remarkably talented individual in society.
“Hyung, why did you go into medicine?”
“Out of nowhere while we’re eating?”
Haehyeon chewed on the piece of fish balanced on his spoon. Rich and slightly sweet.
“Well, I can just be curious……”
“Can’t you tell just from watching these nimble fingers? Imagine how precise they’ll be holding a scalpel or a screw. It’s a talent that shouldn’t go to waste.”
“Hah… stop joking around.”
His hyung could have helped with his father’s business like his oldest hyung did, and there were plenty of other things he could have done. In that kind of environment, medicine had been an entirely self-chosen path.
“Why else would you go into medicine — to fix sick people. You’ve got to medicate the patients whining about being in pain, get them sorted out, and make them functional human beings again.”
