“You matter more to me than anything.”
Do-gyeom appeared flustered by him no longer hiding his feelings. Do-gyeom averted his gaze from Gi-hyeon, looking elsewhere, and his face grew dark. At the end of that gaze sat the gifts from Gwok Un that the Butler had left behind.
“Ah, those……”
Gi-hyeon’s lips moved, but he ultimately couldn’t finish and fell silent. Objects that had once stirred nothing in him now felt like payment for services rendered. Do-gyeom shot up from his seat and headed for the door. But Gi-hyeon moved one step faster and blocked his way. He smiled bitterly at Do-gyeom, who wouldn’t even look at him.
“Curse at me instead.”
“……”
“Like last time — tell me I’m disgusting, tell me to drop dead.”
“……”
“……You’re allowed to. Just please don’t avoid me like this.”
Urgency seeped through his trembling voice. Gi-hyeon had said he would accept everything — but he couldn’t hide his unease. Words poured out without order.
“I know I’m being unreasonable. But even so — can’t you curse at me if you want to curse, hit me if you want to hit me? I’ll take whatever you give me. Just allow me that much. Only that much……”
At the desperate plea, Do-gyeom’s face went rigid. His firmly shut lips looked as though they would never open. Gi-hyeon, who had been waiting for an answer, stepped aside.
“I’m sorry. I said I wouldn’t ask for anything, and yet here I am.”
“I.”
“……”
“I will not do anything.”
“……”
“I will not do a single thing to ease your guilt.”
It was sad that the eyes holding such unwavering resolve were still beautiful. Do-gyeom stepped past him and took hold of the door handle. The hand that had been about to turn it without hesitation stopped.
“May I ask one thing.”
“……”
“Whatever the reason — did you not know it would come to this, if you were to hold the Young Master?”
His quiet voice accused him. The wall he had thought had crumbled still stood as firm as ever.
“……No.”
At his answer, Do-gyeom let out a hollow laugh.
“How honest of you.”
“……”
“Then one last thing. Were you truly sincere with me?”
Gi-hyeon stared at Do-gyeom in desolation. If I hadn’t been sincere, it wouldn’t hurt this much. He could hear the sound of the feelings he had wanted to convey so carefully — crumbling. His heart ached as if salt water were being poured into a festered wound. Gi-hyeon, who had been chewing down the words rising all the way up to his throat, barely managed to open his mouth.
“You can trample on my feelings all you want.”
“……”
“Just don’t deny it. Don’t deny me — the me who came all this way.”
“……The Young Master has asked you to come down to the reception room tomorrow around three o’clock. I’ll be taking my leave now.”
Listening to the sound of the door closing, Gi-hyeon clenched his teeth. His jaw joint jutted under the pressure, and his cheek trembled finely. He picked up a fine brush and brought it to the canvas — but his hand convulsed even worse than before. He looked up and fixed his gaze on Gwok Un’s portrait, submerged in darkness. The man was a sublime figure, having shed all constraints and love alike. Gi-hyeon stared through damp eyes at the man who had exploited and violated someone’s desperate affection for him. He pressed his forehead to the still-wet canvas and thick paint seeped in. He let out a low groan and rubbed his forehead against it.
Gwok Un’s face, seen for the first time in a while, looked better than expected. The eyes that had been utterly dead since Gam Eun-hyeong’s death carried a sharpness again, and the wild, violent energy had settled considerably as well. Like the first day, he fixed an intent gaze on Gi-hyeon as he entered the reception room. Gi-hyeon ignored the persistent stare and sat down across from him. Though they had shared each other’s bodies, the glances exchanged were like those between inanimate objects — devoid of affection. Gwok Un broke the silence and opened his mouth.
“Have you been well?”
“Do I look it?”
His contrarian attitude made Gwok Un’s eyebrow twitch, but he said nothing and picked up his teacup. Having savored the tea, he set the cup down and continued.
“I heard you refused the gifts — is there a particular brand you prefer?”
“Take those things to your servants.”
“Your crude mouth and your useless pride — both still the same, I see.”
“Is that all you had to say?”
Gwok Un smoothed his pursed lips. He appeared to have finished deliberating and opened his mouth.
“I’ll sponsor you.”
“What?”
Gi-hyeon’s eyebrow twitched as though he couldn’t quite grasp what had been said. Gwok Un stirred his tea with a teaspoon and spoke slowly.
“I’ll provide a studio, materials, models, and an assistant — all of it. I’ll hold your solo exhibition at Le Mans as well, and with a stipend provided on top of that, you’ll be able to focus solely on your work. I can connect you with every contact you’ll need to lead the art world.”
“Ha.”
“Your paintings will be loved by all, across the ages.”
His face, as he insulted Gi-hyeon, was reverent — as though carrying on someone’s dying wish.
“Unbelievable.”
“Why put on airs? Isn’t that the whole reason you crawled your way here in the first place.”
Gwok Un tilted his chin up and lowered only his gaze. As if the conversation bored him, a languor bloomed across his arrogant face.
“You should be thanking me for voicing your presumptuous thoughts before you had to. Shouldn’t you?”
“You’re telling me to become Eun-hyeong.”
“You understand the situation better than I expected.”
“Go to hell.”
“What?”
“I said no, you lunatic. Is not understanding plain speech a family trait in this house?”
The eyes that had been visibly glazed with boredom went wide with surprise. Gwok Un, who had been staring at Gi-hyeon lost for words, burst out laughing. Gi-hyeon suppressed the urge to flip the table over then and there. Having laughed loudly for a good while, Gwok Un wiped the corners of his eyes.
“Ah, what on earth is this?”
“Don’t jerk me around with nonsense and summon me here like I’ve got nothing better to do.”
As he shoved back his chair and stood, Gwok Un’s eyes sharpened in an instant.
“Sit down. I’m not done talking.”
“Get lost.”
“Don’t make me say it twice.”
Gi-hyeon held his ground, tense — but ultimately swallowed his curses and sat back down. He leaned back crookedly, like a delinquent.
“Go ahead and say what you want.”
“I’ll give you Do-gyeom.”
The moment the words were out, Gi-hyeon kicked the leg of the table. A teacup toppled and the table was drenched. At the sudden commotion, the Butler who had been standing by rushed in.
“Young Master!”
“Get out.”
Gwok Un snapped at the Butler who had come running in a single stride, and the door closed. Gi-hyeon glared at Gwok Un with bloodshot eyes. He was overcome with the impulse to grind that utterly unmoved face into the table. The veins in his clenched fist stood out. Gwok Un picked up the cup that hadn’t fallen and savored his tea with elegance. The red lips, wet with tea, parted.
“Glad you like it. Do-gyeom is a kid from an orphanage sponsored by my father. We grew up together from when we were young.”
“……”
“So…… it probably started when I was six, when I asked for a savannah cat. Money wasn’t an issue, but my father absolutely hates cats, so he wouldn’t buy one. But I followed him around day and night until I got his permission — and it turned out I’m allergic. I cried for days over it, I was so upset.”
“……”
“The next day my father said he had prepared another gift, so I went downstairs — and that boy was there. From that moment on, he became mine.”
“And?”
“If that’s what you want, I’ll hand him over. In exchange, stay under me for five years.”
The attitude of buying and selling a pet made everything go white before his eyes. Gi-hyeon clenched and unclenched his hand, holding back his rage as it kept surging back.
“How much that person……”
Anger hung at the edge of every breath, making it hard to continue.
“How much Do-gyeom-ssi thinks of you…… hah.”
“So?”
“……Do you know that Do-gyeom-ssi loves you?”
“What does that have to do with me?”
Those gleaming, glass-bead eyes carried not a single emotion. The rage that had been boiling inside Gi-hyeon’s body cooled stone cold. It felt as though all the blood was draining from his body — a chilling, hollow sensation.
“Ha…… hahaha, ahahaha……”
He laughed, watching the end that had come of the blind devotion Do-gyeom had poured out over more than ten years. Gwok Un stared at him intently, seeming unable to understand the laughter that sounded like a lament. Having laughed at length in that hollow, open way, Gi-hyeon finally spoke.
“By now, Eun-hyeong must be happy.”
The gaze that had been aimed at empty air turned toward Gwok Un. Watching a crack form in that languid face at the mention of Gam Eun-hyeong, he chewed out each word and spat it.
“Because he no longer. Has to be. With someone. This terrible.”
