May, with its good sunshine and pleasant winds, is when various fish species spawn. Many fish were in their closed season, so Baek Sang-eun also released several of the fish he’d caught. Even so, flounder poured endlessly onto the rubber basin.
“Is young Captain Baek talented too?”
A broker he was usually friendly with struck up conversation while examining the fish. Baek Sang-eun wiped his cheek with the back of his hand while scanning the inside of the fish market. An auctioneer wearing a microphone was preparing for the auction. The eyes of brokers and dealers who came to the fish market at dawn to buy fresh fish cheaply, and people who came to shop at the dawn market even though they weren’t dealers, overflowed with anticipation.
Among the people doing business at Misong Port, Baek Sang-eun was the tallest. He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth while roughly gauging how much the other fishermen had caught.
“The fish have eyes too, so they must have followed me for my looks.”
“Geez. Did you ask the flounder?”
“Don’t you see the flounder’s eyes all turned to the right from staring at my face?”
Making silly jokes, Baek Sang-eun bit his glove with his mouth to remove it. Just like rural areas, fishing villages had all the young people flee to the city, making young fishermen a rare sight. At the fish market and in the village, they called out Sang-eun-ah, Sang-eun-ah from here and there for the only fisherman in his twenties.
Twenty-something Baek Sang-eun’s forearms were so solid they’d look like an athlete’s to ordinary people’s eyes. Even from afar, he exuded the youth of a man in full bloom from his entire body. Someone envied Baek Sang-eun, and someone else was proud of him. And someone else squeezed him saying let me touch you once.
The broker also scanned Baek Sang-eun up and down. The ink-black waterproof apron worn over his sleeveless shirt and shorts fit so tightly it somehow gave off a risqué feeling, as if he were wearing only an apron on his bare body. Just looking at that body was embarrassing enough to make them clear their throat and look away.
“Tsk. Wear your clothes properly.”
“It’s hot. I should go into the water once.”
“You just got back, why don’t you rest a bit instead of going right back out? Captain Baek, if a seaman gets greedy, the Dragon King gets angry. Didn’t your father teach you that?”
“Why are you bringing up someone else’s father? I learned that you should share some with the Dragon King too, you know? Ha, things aren’t working out. Things aren’t working.”
Baek Sang-eun learned how to catch fish but never learned to choose his words in front of adults. And yet with Go Seok-jun, he put on airs and used polite speech as much as possible. Even though he was using the most decent language he knew, Go Seok-jun kept pointing out his way of speaking. Baek Sang-eun didn’t know what kind of speech he should use.
The village people just accepted it. Since a child is an adult’s mirror, they couldn’t blame a child who absorbed the language sailors used as is.
Even if the young guy’s blunt words lacked manners, Baek Sang-eun took on all the big and small tasks that required strength in the village. Thanks to that, whether it was elderly fishermen, fish market brokers, market merchants, or ice factory employees, everyone looked for Baek Sang-eun first when there was work requiring strength.
The broker was the same—bickering with Baek Sang-eun every day, but they couldn’t help but be fond of a fisherman who caught lots of good fish. While grumbling, they steadily tore off a receipt and held it out to Baek Sang-eun.
“You caught this much and things still aren’t working out? Are you trying to wipe out the entire species?”
“Just give me a good price later. If you don’t price it right, it all goes in here, okay?”
Baek Sang-eun tapped his stomach. The sound of his palm slapping against the wet apron was loud. Then he brought his palms together and clapped until it made a smack sound. Like a wrestler on a sand pit.
“You, you and your greed!”
Whether anyone pointed fingers or not, Baek Sang-eun turned the boat’s bow and left the port. The wet deck hadn’t even dried yet. He ran toward the direction of the rising sun, then stopped the boat at the fishing grounds. The sea receiving the morning light shone brilliantly.
After peeling off his clothes one layer at a time, he poured bottled water over his body wearing not a thread. Thanks to going through all kinds of battles with water battles being the main one, water trickled down along his well-built muscles.
“I’ll be going now.”
Baek Sang-eun bowed in greeting in the pilothouse where there was no one to receive the greeting, only old dolls hanging in clusters. The black man standing at the edge of the deck held a hook and net bag and plunged into the sea with a splash. Only an orange buoy remained on the surface of the sea that had swallowed the person.
His vertical body descended rapidly. Baek Sang-eun swam downward, gently swaying his long legs with flippers. His lung capacity was as large as his build and his limbs were long, making him perfect as a sea diver.
Even after deciding to settle on land, Baek Sang-eun repeatedly left and returned. He left the dock dozens of times on the boat and returned dozens of times. Those who leave must return. Until he learned that with his whole body.
Even that wasn’t enough. He got a free-diving license and left farther—no, deeper. In the water, his complicated mind became refreshed. In a situation where his breath could stop at any moment, the thoughts tormenting him were actually nothing. No matter how big and heavy his thoughts were, they were lighter than seawater.
The adults said since he was a man, he should become a hard-hat diver and go down even deeper, but wearing lead equipment draped all over plus carrying an oxygen tank really didn’t suit his personality. Having to move as a pair with someone was also bothersome.
He liked swimming gently with his lightened body and mind. Sometimes he stayed in the water until he couldn’t breathe and his body flailed. If I die, dying in the sea would be okay too.
Fish that didn’t get caught in nets leisurely passed by Baek Sang-eun’s side. He went down a bit more following the path where yellow, blue, and silver fish swam in a line.
Finally, the bottom. Actually, it couldn’t be called the bottom. Just on top of a huge rock. An octopus that skillfully escaped the hook teased him as if playing, changing its body color to match the color of the bottom. He grabbed the octopus’s head and released it several times, but after a long struggle, he was still empty-handed.
‘Sang-eun-ah.’
His gentle voice rang in his ears like a hallucination. With a lonely and tired-looking face, sweeping back his bangs and calling out Sang-eun-ah—when he called his name, even the sound had a taste. His voice was sweet and bitter. Just thinking about it made the salty taste stuck to Baek Sang-eun’s lips intensify.
When other thoughts started to intrude, it was a danger signal. Baek Sang-eun, who had lived on the water longer than standing on land since turning twenty, immediately recognized the signal and quickly ascended. Without any catch.
“Whew.”
He exhaled a deep breath at the surface. He also vigorously shook his hair that was damp and heavy from holding seawater. He lay floating on the surface for a long while. The sunlight pouring on his face stung.
Everyone warned him saying he had no fear, that if a wave swept him away while doing that alone, he’d die just like that, but Baek Sang-eun loved this moment the most. Even in the silence as if he were left alone in the world, Baek Sang-eun believed he was together with Go Seok-jun. Even in the vast ocean, even in a foreign land thousands of miles away where he couldn’t understand the language.
“No girlfriend?”
Baek Sang-eun closed his eyes and muttered. He said even though he had a wife, he had no kids and no girlfriend—so didn’t that mean the girlfriend position was vacant? Becoming Go Seok-jun’s lover was Baek Sang-eun’s future aspiration.
‘Sang-eun wants to marry Uncle!’
‘You can’t marry Uncle though?’
‘No! No! Sang-eun will marry Uncle!’
His own voice acting spoiled toward Go Seok-jun floated up. Even though it was a childhood memory, he got goosebumps from embarrassment. He flailed his short limbs and even hit Go Seok-jun a few times. Go Seok-jun took all of it and didn’t even get angry.
‘Later, when Sang-eun becomes bigger than Uncle and earns lots of money.’
In the end, Baek Sang-eun threw endless tantrums until he hooked pinkies. It was before entering elementary school, so he must have been about seven years old. Feeling awkward for no reason, he scratched his cheek even though no one was watching.
When he clenched his fist tight then released it, seawater slipped between his fingers. It seemed today was a bust. Not just today—he’d been striking out for several days since Go Seok-jun came to the village. In the end, he turned the boat back to the port.
“Hey! Did you go free-diving alone again today?”
It was on the way to tie up the wet boat at the dock and walk toward where the car was. Lee Young-soon, who still worked as an active haenyeo despite being close to seventy, recognized Baek Sang-eun and scolded him.
“Oh my goodness.”
“I tell you to go down with the ajummas, but you never listen to others.”
It meant he should go out with the haenyeo grandmas who do free-diving. Even though he didn’t make a living from free-diving and did it as a hobby, they were quite wary. Baek Sang-eun whistled and pretended not to hear.
When he thought the teasing was enough, he tapped his phone.
“Ah, but I only want to go with the noonas.”
“You little brat! There’s a limit to teasing an old woman!”
“That’s why Young-soon noona should make appointments in advance, appointments.”
While checking the calendar app, he firmly told Lee Young-soon to come out the day after tomorrow. Lee Young-soon grabbed Baek Sang-eun who was about to leave and rattled on about stories he already knew—that the youngest son of the Go family came back and works at Misong Police Substation, what could have happened that he came alone leaving his wife behind.
“You’re very interested in other people’s family affairs?”
When it got to the part about the youngest not even having kids yet, Baek Sang-eun cut off her words and jumped up into the truck. Baek Sang-eun had eaten manners with his rice, but he waved his hand gently out the window while smiling brightly.
“Goodbye, Noona.”
“Aigoo! When is Baek Sang-eun going to become an adult!”
“I’m already an adult though.”
Even as endless nagging poured out, Baek Sang-eun was leisurely and languid as usual. I should sleep at Wolseon Guesthouse starting today. Baek Sang-eun, who checked his face in the rearview mirror, grinned and put on his sunglasses. Baek Sang-eun’s truck ran out onto the road making a loud exhaust sound.
***
In front of the fish market, water trucks of the same model as Baek Sang-eun’s truck were lined up. A few regular passenger cars were also visible. Go Seok-jun parked his car neatly in the fish market parking lot. Baek Sang-eun had called from early dawn asking him to bring his bag. A black duffel bag with an ugly doll attached was left alone in the annex.
Go Seok-jun lit a cigarette while appreciating the dawn twilight that dyed the sea reddish. Several boats stood side by side along the dock, and fishermen wearing waders busily moved back and forth on the wharf.
Even though he was born and raised in a fishing village, he wasn’t friendly with fish at all. He hated the market too. He was horrified when encountering things like puddles, fishy smells, and the eyes of dead fish. But what could he do when he had to go find Baek Sang-eun? Holding the bag strap slung over one shoulder, he walked inside. He hadn’t opened it, but it was light like an empty bag.
The fish market was already full of people. Everyone participating in the auction wore red hats and held round number tags. The auctioneer must have thrown a joke because everyone was giggling, but only Go Seok-jun didn’t understand.
Freshly caught fish and seafood flopped inside rubber basins. They were at the boundary between life and death. Go Seok-jun frowned but prayed for their passage to paradise.
