It was a question asking if there was no reason to hang out with Cha Dobum anymore. Cha Ihyun hesitated to answer. It was because the conversation from a few days ago came to mind.
‘Will you listen to your hyung, or hang out with me?’
And how he’d answered Cha Dobum who asked that.
Now that Cha Dobum had dropped out, there were no more excuses. Cha Ihyun, who had been mumbling vaguely, came up with another lie.
“…But the homeroom teacher asked me to look after him well.”
“Because you’re family?”
Cha Minhyun, who scoffed quietly, dismissed it at once.
“You don’t need to do that. There’s no reason for you to do that either.”
“Still… It partly happened because of me too. If I had just gone into the classroom then, they wouldn’t have said useless things, and Cha Dobum wouldn’t have gone that far either.”
The gaze clinging to his cheek was stinging. The more it did, the longer Cha Ihyun’s explanation became.
“And hyung, you know. How he lives without thinking. If he goes completely down the wrong path like that, Big Aunt and Big Uncle will be upset too—”
“Why won’t you listen? My Ihyun.”
At the unfamiliar voice, Cha Ihyun’s mouth closed.
The interrogating gaze was sharp. It seemed to see right through the fact that he’d been hanging out with Cha Dobum.
Normally, he would have backed down at this point. But now, a bit of rebelliousness also rose up. You decided on study abroad without asking my opinion even once. Shouldn’t I at least be able to do what I want with whoever I want? That kind of rebelliousness.
But Cha Ihyun had never rebelled against hyung before. His voice came out meekly.
“…I’ll just help him until the GED. I’m saying my conscience is bothering me.”
“…”
“After that, I’ll be a university student too, and there won’t be any more occasions to run into him. I’ll go study abroad like hyung said.”
At the mention of study abroad, Cha Minhyun’s complexion softened strangely. Cha Ihyun asked for permission while reading his hyung’s expression.
“Okay? Hyuuung.”
At the sight of him trembling with fear of being hated yet firmly spitting out what he had to say, Cha Minhyun eventually laughed like a sigh.
“Always trying to get your way with aegyo.”
“I. I didn’t act cute…”
“The problem is that Ihyun is too kind.”
At the words that were like permission, Cha Ihyun grinned broadly. Thinking that hyung really listens to everything he says.
The two naturally headed to Cha Minhyun’s room. Cha Minhyun, who collapsed onto the bed as if falling, exhaled lowly. Though it had faded considerably, the breath mixed with the scent of alcohol was still bittersweet.
“I smell.”
“No? Hyung’s smell is totally good though?”
Cha Ihyun’s face turned red belatedly.
“Ah, I don’t mean I go around smelling hyung or anything…”
“Can you just help hyung take off his shirt?”
When Cha Ihyun hesitantly sat on the edge of the bed, Cha Minhyun turned his body and lay facing that direction. Cha Ihyun, who had been wiggling his fingers inside his fist, gathered courage and reached for the buttons.
As he undid the buttons fastened all the way to the neck one by one, the skin that had been neatly hidden under the shirt was revealed. The straight neck was as white as the shirt, but it didn’t give a slender feeling, perhaps because of the firm Adam’s apple that protruded.
The clear contours led down to the collarbone carved distinctly below. The smooth yet cool lines had a larger frame unlike his own. The gaze that was tracing down the collarbone as if entranced was blocked by the undershirt worn underneath. Cha Ihyun unconsciously let out the breath he’d been holding.
He glanced up. Hyung’s breathing had become a bit longer than before.
Since it wasn’t even bare skin, there was no need to dawdle more. If he kept stealing glances at hyung’s body, he might have that strange dream again tonight. The sound of unfastening the transparent buttons tok, tok became a bit faster.
Cha Ihyun, who had undone all the buttons, tried to take off the shirt, but the body that was heavier than expected couldn’t be lifted with his strength at all. As he was struggling with his hand under the back, hyung lifted his body with a laugh.
Hyung in the much lighter outfit was wearing only a thin t-shirt. Not as much as Cha Dobum, but seeing him like this, hyung was also… Cha Ihyun’s gaze lingered on his chest. It was just that he couldn’t feel it well because the skin was white, but the contours revealed over the clothes were definitely thick.
He gulped. If he stayed like this, he’d clearly be stealing glances at hyung all night, so Cha Ihyun hurriedly withdrew his wicked gaze.
“I-I’ll put the shirt here.”
“Mm, thanks.”
It was a voice full of sleepiness. The voice that had been sharp over the Cha Dobum issue earlier had completely disappeared. Cha Ihyun hesitated before opening his mouth.
“Hyung, you know.”
It took a bit longer than before, but hyung answered with a “mm.”
“Why… do you dislike Cha Dobum so much?”
It was too severe to say it was just because their personalities were different. More than anything, there seemed to be a reason for hating his real younger brother like that.
He asked borrowing hyung’s drunkenness, but only even breathing filled the bedroom. Did he fall asleep… It was around the time he was about to get up from his seat in disappointment.
“Because he doesn’t know his place.”
The small voice—whether it was muttered in sleep or not—couldn’t be distinguished. Cha Ihyun sat awkwardly and whispered.
“His place?”
“When he just got lucky.”
With those incomprehensible words as the end, hyung’s breathing changed to a regular pattern.
Cha Ihyun quietly fell into thought. As far as he remembered, the two hadn’t gotten along well from the first time he set foot in this house. Rather than real siblings, they seemed like they were worse than strangers.
Did something happen before I came?
What about the word parasite? In a way, he seemed more like a parasite than Cha Dobum, yet hyung was infinitely affectionate to him. What on earth had happened between the two? It was when he was pondering deeply.
“Ihyun-ah.”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t remember Cha Dobum, right?”
Cha Ihyun blinked. Is he sleep-talking? It seemed like it. Hyung’s following voice was almost close to mumbling.
“Don’t get close to him.”
So he didn’t answer. Even in sleep, he didn’t want to lie to hyung again.
Hyung seemed to be completely asleep. His breathing was comfortable, but his clean brow was slightly furrowed. Was it because I brought up Cha Dobum? Cha Ihyun carefully stretched out his finger and smoothed his brow.
I should ask Cha Dobum.
What happened between them. If he heard both sides’ opinions, he might find the seeds of reconciliation. At least the two people he’d experienced were both good people. He wanted to help clear up the misunderstanding.
Cha Ihyun, who closed the door without making a sound, entered his room on tiptoe. As soon as he turned on the light thinking to look at sheet music, his pocket vibrated.
Cha Dobum You suffer a lot taking care of the old man ㅜㅜ
Cha Ihyun, who was looking at the screen, looked at the window. Seeing the text that came as if he’d been waiting, he had a suspicion. When he drew the curtain with a dubious face, sure enough, Cha Dobum was standing outside.
With a helmet tucked under one side, he waved his hand. He’d been bothered by how he’d been staring earlier, but Cha Dobum was smiling innocently as if he’d forgotten such things. Cha Dobum tapped his phone.
Cha Dobum Drive ㄱㄱ?
Now?
Cha Dobum Huh ㅋㅋ I’m busy right now
What am I supposed to do with that? As if his serious face could be seen from down there, Cha Dobum giggled.
Cha Dobum Later in the dead of night ^^
It seemed to mean going out when everyone was asleep like last time.
The night air he’d breathed then was still vivid. Even though he’d had a seizure, it was such a good memory that it covered that up. Cha Ihyun unconsciously fiddled with his lips.
Cha Dobum If you’re interested, come down later
Where?
Cha Dobum Where else
Cha Dobum looked up at the window.
It seemed to mean come down there. Like last time.
***
“What kind of drive is this?”
The creaking wheels were precarious as if they would collapse at any moment. The rough back wheel kept catching on his calves, and the cramped seat was as hard as sitting on rebar. Cha Ihyun poured out complaints.
“It’s not fun and only my butt hurts.”
“Want me to rub your butt?”
“I want to get off.”
“Okay, okay.”
