# Chapter 87
The time of endurance had passed.
It was probably the same for Suhyun too.
“Your ears aren’t bleeding?”
As soon as they left the theater, Jiwon deliberately made a playful comment. He wanted to hide that he had been lost in his own thoughts the entire time.
“Why would they bleed?”
Suhyun asked with a bewildered expression.
“From how loud it was?”
“…I just have good hearing, that doesn’t mean I’m weak.”
Suhyun responded precisely, as if Jiwon had said something strange. Jiwon laughed emptily. He had never thought Suhyun was weak in the first place.
“Did you enjoy it?”
“Yes, it was fun.”
In the meantime, Suhyun had asked about the movie. Jiwon answered quickly, like a robot with pre-programmed values. An exaggerated nod followed.
For good reason—he hadn’t been able to concentrate enough to judge whether it was enjoyable or not. His mind had been completely focused on Suhyun.
If he wasn’t going to voluntarily admit that, then he had to say it was definitely fun. Even before the movie ended, Jiwon had already thought about what to say.
“You weren’t really watching it, were you?”
But Suhyun hit the nail right on the head. As if he already knew everything.
“I was watching!”
Jiwon shrugged his shoulders as if asking what Suhyun was talking about. Suhyun, who had been staring at him, tilted his head slightly.
“Let’s just say you were.”
His tone suggested he was going to let it slide.
“I watched it with incredible appreciation. I almost cried at the end.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, really.”
“Alright.”
“I’m telling you, really!”
Even though Suhyun wouldn’t believe him no matter how many times he repeated it, Jiwon kept emphasizing it to him.
He felt like he would feel less guilty if he could at least claim he had enjoyed the movie.
“I said alright.”
“Ah…”
Jiwon sighed briefly.
Suhyun smiled, lifting the corners of his mouth, perhaps finding Jiwon’s persistent denial amusing.
Jiwon’s gaze fixed on those curved lips. Having lost even the thought of further denial, he just blinked blankly.
Perhaps because his appearance was different from usual, Suhyun’s atmosphere seemed much more relaxed, making it harder for Jiwon to look away.
Belatedly, Jiwon cleared his throat with a “Ahem.”
“Now let’s go get some food.”
Then he turned around and walked away hastily.
He had no choice because he felt his face burning up. Why did this damn body heat up so easily? The heat rising all the way to his ears was concerning, so he needed to hide his face first.
He could hear Suhyun’s slow footsteps behind him. Feeling somewhat resentful of his body’s too-honest reactions, Jiwon burst into a small laugh.
His mood was swinging wildly like a madman’s.
The restaurant that Jungyeom had reserved was about 20 minutes away from the theater.
Right in front of the restaurant building, a gentle river flowed, and as the sun slowly set, the lights that turned on one by one reflected on the water, twinkling.
When he said the view would be good, there was a reason for it.
Recalling Jungyeom’s voice, the two sat down at their designated seats. Despite being in a somewhat secluded corner, they could see the outside scenery perfectly, which was quite pleasing.
“Esper Jungyeom must have put a lot of thought into this.”
“Yes, it seems so.”
There were no nearby tables, and the music flowing was gentle. Jiwon smiled with satisfaction.
Due to his carelessness, the whole day had been a mess overall, but thanks to Jungyeom, it seemed they would at least avoid the worst.
“Are there any foods you don’t eat?”
“No, none. What about you, Esper-nim?”
“I don’t have any either.”
As if trying to show his improved mood, Jiwon’s toes moved up and down involuntarily.
Even at home, they rarely ate facing each other. They were used to eating on their own. He had been feeling disappointed about that, but now they were dining out like this. Moreover, Suhyun was asking about his preferences. His mood was not just lifted—it was about to take flight.
“Then would you like to try the recommended course?”
“That sounds good.”
Having answered gladly, Jiwon continued while he was at it.
“Shall we have a glass of wine?”
It seemed like Suhyun would agree to anything right now. But surprisingly, Suhyun immediately shook his head.
“I have to drive.”
“Ah… Well, we could call a driver service, couldn’t we?”
He almost nodded in agreement, but there were plenty of ways to resolve the car issue. However, Suhyun shook his head again.
“…It would be better if you didn’t drink.”
Unlike his usual self, Suhyun spoke somewhat hesitantly. Finding his reaction strange, Jiwon blinked slowly.
“Ah.”
Almost simultaneously, a powerful memory struck Jiwon’s mind.
He recalled the day he had drunk all the alcohol in Suhyun’s storage and made a mistake.
“Shit…”
Jiwon grimaced and rubbed his face hard.
‘What’s wrong with me today?’
It was like he was missing a screw. It was frustrating that he kept forgetting things today that he usually remembered.
Perhaps it was because he was quite nervous. He had become tense by attaching too much meaning to this outing, calling it a date in his mind.
Right now, he was so focused on Suhyun’s mood that he kept forgetting important things. He really was being ridiculous.
“One glass of wine wouldn’t get me drunk, but… let’s not drink today anyway.”
Trying to erase the vividly emerging memories of his disgraceful behavior, Jiwon spoke as calmly as possible. Suhyun nodded as if he had been waiting for this.
“But you could drink, Esper-nim. I’ll drive.”
“It’s fine.”
“Don’t you like alcohol?”
Am I missing something else?
Jiwon, who had been trying to continue the conversation naturally, rummaged through his mind to see if there was anything he had forgotten.
Fortunately, there wasn’t this time.
Well, probably.
“…Not particularly.”
“For someone who doesn’t particularly like it, you had too much alcohol at home.”
The shock he had felt when he saw the alcohol storage in the corner of the house was still vivid.
Why would he stockpile that much alcohol? It was concerning enough to make one wonder if he had an alcohol addiction.
“Why do you have so much alcohol at home?”
After placing their order, Jiwon asked. He had been curious about this for a while.
Except for that day, Jiwon had never seen Suhyun drink alcohol. He never even took a single sip.
Jiwon had tried to think it was because he was busy with the Riska dungeon and other matters, but then he would wonder if someone who usually drank a lot could suddenly quit completely.
Does he occasionally invite friends over for parties? No, Suhyun wasn’t that type of person.
“Were you feeling lonely?”
Jiwon deliberately asked playfully. Even if it was because of loneliness, he wanted to brush it off lightly. It’s natural to crave alcohol occasionally when living alone.
“Though even for that, it seems like too much.”
Jiwon shrugged and smiled. Was it because his alcohol tolerance was quite high and he didn’t get drunk easily? Did he want to drink until he was intoxicated?
“Before…”
Jiwon was preparing to admonish him that although it seemed he didn’t drink now, it would still be better to be careful, when Suhyun slowly opened his mouth.
“I needed it.”
It sounded somewhat dangerous.
If he felt he needed it to that extent, wasn’t that an addiction?
“Um… Have you ever sought counseling for alcohol addiction?”
Jiwon asked very seriously. For all he knew, Suhyun might need treatment right away.
“Ha…”
Seemingly perplexed by Jiwon’s reaction, Suhyun let out a hollow laugh. Thanks to that, Jiwon got to see Suhyun’s smiling face for the second time today, unconsciously pulling at the corners of his own mouth, though not for long.
“When I’m drunk, the pain dulls.”
“…”
“So I kept drinking, and somehow the amount increased, so I just stockpiled and drank it. I didn’t have the strength to go out after I started drinking.”
Jiwon, who had instantly lost his smile, twitched his lips.
He wasn’t slow enough in understanding the situation to ask what Suhyun meant by the pain being dulled.
There was only one thing that came to mind when thinking about the pain Suhyun might have felt. That was also the reason why Suhyun had stopped drinking after forming an exclusive contract with Jiwon.
He had been constantly suffering from the physical pain arising from his unstable wavelength, and had been soothing it with alcohol.
After contracting with Jiwon, his wavelength had stabilized, so he no longer needed alcohol.
“…”
Since when had it been like that?
For how long had he been drinking alcohol as a substitute for guiding?
What thoughts ran through Suhyun’s mind as he stockpiled enough alcohol to make one faint?
Jiwon’s face crumpled at the successive thoughts. It felt like he could physically sense how painful it had been for Suhyun over such a long period.
“…I’m sorry.”
Jiwon apologized with his head lowered.
He had known about the pain Suhyun was experiencing all along. Every time he guided him, he would experience poor condition all day due to the pain he felt.
He knew because he had groaned from the pain shared through just a little bit of guiding. Yet despite knowing, he had turned a blind eye. To the fact that Suhyun was in so much pain that he couldn’t endure it without being dulled by alcohol.
“I’m really sorry.”
He should have been responsible for Suhyun from the beginning.
The exclusive contract should have been established even before the Riska dungeon broke out.
He shouldn’t have neglected Suhyun for two whole years.
“Guide-nim has nothing to apologize for.”
Jiwon shook his head.
He had pretended not to know when he felt betrayed by Suhyun’s refusal.
I’ll let him handle it. Eventually, he’ll come around and give in.
He had been having such arrogant thoughts.
“I should have taken care of you sooner.”
“I was the one who refused guiding.”
“I knew about the pain you were feeling, Esper-nim.”
“Even so, it’s not Guide-nim’s fault.”
Suhyun was resolute, but Jiwon’s crumpled face did not smooth out. A troubled look appeared on Suhyun’s face.
“Wasn’t it something I brought upon myself?”
Jiwon shook his head. He didn’t think it was something Suhyun had brought upon himself.
“It’s because of me, isn’t it?”
“Why would it be because of Guide-nim?”
“I must have done something wrong. That’s why Esper-nim refused guiding.”
“I…”
“You’re not the type of person who would be cold and harsh for no reason, Esper-nim.”
The current Jiwon knew for certain that Suhyun was absolutely not that kind of person. The sudden reason he had refused guiding must have been due to Jiwon.
“It’s not like that. Guide-nim… hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s just that I…”
Suhyun’s voice weighed heavily on Jiwon’s chest. Suhyun, who couldn’t continue his words, hesitating and moistening his dry lips, made Jiwon smile faintly.
“It’s alright.”
How much had the overly kind Suhyun struggled emotionally before he could bring himself to say he didn’t like Jiwon?
Sighing deeply with regret for not having properly looked after him, Jiwon spoke.
“I won’t let you be in pain again.”
Then he made a promise to Suhyun with all his heart. He wanted to ensure Suhyun wouldn’t experience the same pain, so that he wouldn’t even think of drinking alcohol.
“You’d better be prepared. Even if you want to drop me, you won’t be able to.”
Jiwon deliberately raised his voice.
Jiwon clearly remembered Jo Wooyeon’s warning that keeping a distance would be better. Jiwon had no intention of ignoring Wooyeon’s words.
Jiwon would stay by Suhyun’s side. However, he didn’t plan to monopolize him all by himself. He just needed to find guides who could guide Suhyun from wherever they were and have them be with him too.
That way, he would ensure that Suhyun’s wavelength never dropped. To make sure that Suhyun would never be in pain again in the future.
“…I never had any intention of dropping you in the first place.”
Suhyun said with a sigh.
“And it’s not Guide-nim’s fault. The mistake was… mine.”
He added words to alleviate Jiwon’s guilt. Jiwon nodded with a grin.
“Yes. Anyway, I’m glad you don’t intend to drop me.”
That was enough.
Ever since he started liking Suhyun, he had been growing more and more greedy, but now it was time to stop.
Jiwon’s wish should rightfully end at just wanting Suhyun to live without pain in a stable state.
