# Chapter 67
After finishing his words, it felt strangely awkward to have opened up about himself. And that someone had even asked.
When he became a Guide at 16, he left the orphanage. He was lucky to get a decent job.
From then on, he just had to work hard at his assigned tasks. No one was curious about Jiwon’s past. They just needed the abilities he currently possessed.
Jiwon did what he was supposed to do, what they wanted. He focused on the present rather than the future. Though he’s been worrying about the future lately, that’s probably because his perspective has broadened with age.
“Then can I ask you something too?”
Instead of dwelling on his sentimental thoughts, Jiwon spoke up. Since the topic had come up, there was something he wanted to ask too.
“Go ahead.”
Suhyun nodded readily.
“Why don’t you smile, Esper-nim Suhyun? Don’t you have anything fun in your life?”
There wouldn’t be anything fun while they’re busy with the dungeon. But even before Riska emerged, Suhyun rarely smiled. Even during their brief period of good relations at the beginning, it was the same.
So he was secretly curious. Rather than it being his personality, it seemed more like he just didn’t want to smile…
“Would you like me to smile?”
“Uh… well. I don’t know?”
Jiwon gave an ambiguous answer, not expecting his question to be returned.
He would like to see him smile. For a very brief moment, a mere instant, he had seen his smiling face. That smile was so beautiful and wonderful that he wanted to see it again. He wished Suhyun had more reasons to smile.
“I’m just wondering if you don’t have anything to smile about.”
But it wasn’t a request for him to smile. He didn’t want to see a forced smile either.
“I hope Esper-nim Suhyun has pleasant and fun things happen that make him want to smile. At least you’ll smile when Riska is gone, right?”
Jiwon tried to deflect his question with a joke. Looking at him, Suhyun let out a small laugh. Jiwon’s eyes widened involuntarily.
“Do I have to wait for such a momentous day to smile?”
“…Huh?”
Suhyun was still smiling. Faced with his smiling expression, Jiwon, who had blurted out something foolish, belatedly shook his head. His face was dazed.
“No? Of course not?”
There seemed to be a crack in his voice as he answered, but it couldn’t be helped. His heart was acting up. Jiwon tightly gripped Suhyun’s hand and pressed his lips firmly together.
The gentle curve of his lips threw Jiwon into complete disarray. Heat rose through his entire body, and the sound of his heartbeat grew increasingly louder.
However, Jiwon didn’t avoid his gaze. He didn’t want to waste one of the few precious opportunities.
***
Stability: 82.
Jiwon frowned as he looked at the number displayed on the watch.
“Why is it dropping…”
Strangely, the stability level was gradually decreasing.
He’s been consistently providing guiding as usual. But despite not having gone to the dungeon, it had dropped to the low 80s, as if it had never been above 90.
There was nothing unusual during guiding sessions. Everything was the same as usual, but the stability wasn’t maintaining.
The matching rate had risen to 90%, yet the stability was falling instead.
“Here you go.”
“Huh? Oh… thank you.”
What was even harder to understand was that his relationship with Suhyun had grown much closer compared to the beginning.
Jiwon absentmindedly accepted the coffee that Suhyun had brought down himself, looking at the mug with the tips of his ears turning red.
He would have been grateful if Suhyun had just stopped rejecting him, but Suhyun was noticeably treating him better and better.
“……”
But why?
The relationship between an Esper and Guide with an exclusive contract should improve as their relationship improves. The stability should be rising, not falling, in this situation.
He had secretly hoped it might reach 100.
“Are you looking at the stability?”
“…Yes.”
A small voice lacking confidence flowed out.
Not only was Suhyun receiving guiding without complaint, but he also brewed coffee for him like this, leaned against the sofa to chat with him even when not receiving guiding, and recently even smiled at him. It was perplexing that guiding wasn’t improving in such a situation.
He wouldn’t think I’m not trying hard enough, would he?
It didn’t seem like Suhyun would think that, but if that wasn’t the case, there was no other explanation, which led to negative thoughts.
“Isn’t this level stable enough?”
“But… it’s dropping.”
“This might be the appropriate level for my body.”
An Esper’s body finds its own appropriate stability level. The lower this figure, the lower the stability level that was usually maintained. The same probably applied to Suhyun.
Before making the exclusive contract, Suhyun’s stability was always low, so his body kept trying to return to the level it remembered.
In such cases, several Guides would have to work together to forcibly raise and maintain the level, but since Suhyun only had him, Jiwon had to find a way to solve this somehow.
“Haah….”
Looking at Suhyun, who had maintained a low stability for nearly two years, Jiwon couldn’t help but sigh. How painful it must have been to endure the agony of tangled wavelengths for so long.
“How did you manage all this time?”
The question came out of a sudden ache in his heart, but since it lacked context, Suhyun only tilted his head slightly.
“Before our exclusive contract. Your levels were always low. It was constantly in the 40s, was that really okay?”
With his wavelength so tangled, why hadn’t he properly visited the center? And why had he been so eager to go to dungeons?
Would it have been better if he had been more proactive? At the time, he thought it was already generous enough to provide guiding without complaint to someone who disliked him, but now that he had developed feelings for Suhyun, it felt like he had done something wrong.
“…It was fine.”
“As if it was fine.”
Jiwon grumbled grumpily and sighed again.
“It really was fine.”
“Well, I used to feel terrible after guiding you, you know.”
“……”
Actually, it wasn’t as bad as feeling terrible, but his condition did worsen each time.
Suhyun, who now knew that Guides feel the same pain through guiding, briefly lowered his gaze.
“…I’m sorry.”
That wasn’t said to hear an apology though.
Jiwon vigorously rubbed his innocent face.
“No, it’s just… you keep saying it was fine when it couldn’t have been, that’s why I said that.”
“…It really was fine.”
Jiwon pressed his lips tightly together. Saying it was fine is the simplest answer, isn’t it? If he said it wasn’t fine, there would be a string of questions about why he endured it and how he managed.
And in that process, the still unresolved question of why Suhyun had kept him at a distance would resurface.
Was he knowingly avoiding it, or did he just not want to talk about it?
‘As long as things are good now…’
In any case, there’s no way it could have been fine, so Suhyun’s words were a lie. But Jiwon decided not to press further.
He didn’t want Suhyun to back away if he brought up past issues. He didn’t want to widen the distance they had just managed to close by being too greedy.
“Anyway, I’d like to get the stability up to at least 90.”
As soon as he realized his own greed, Jiwon changed the subject. Wanting ten more things after getting one was greed.
“I need to research more about how best to provide guiding.”
“Do that.”
Suhyun’s easy acquiescence didn’t satisfy Jiwon. Guiding was directly related to his life, yet he seemed indifferent to the stability level.
“Would you please value your life a bit more?”
Jiwon finally spoke up, giving him a sidelong glance.
“Higher stability means greater safety, you know.”
To this reproachful remark, Suhyun responded nonchalantly.
“Aren’t I doing what you want?”
“…Oh.”
“I value it plenty.”
Jiwon blinked and then quickly turned his head away. It was an answer that completely disarmed his desire to argue.
It wasn’t even that grand of a statement. Yet his face heated up. Does liking someone make you over-interpret even the most mundane words? Suhyun’s words sounded like he trusted him that much, which made him embarrassed. There was also a sense of pride.
“Yes, well… yes.”
Embarrassed by these feelings, Jiwon faced away from Suhyun and gave a perfunctory answer.
“Um….”
Perhaps due to his awkward response, the atmosphere became somewhat uncomfortable.
Fortunately, his phone vibrated, saving Jiwon from having to endure Suhyun’s gaze. Jiwon quickly checked the message that had arrived.
[Come by the Association today.]
The sender was Jo Wooyeon.
“…What’s this?”
Jiwon frowned. For one thing, Jo Wooyeon was someone who preferred calls over messages. And he wasn’t the type to abruptly tell someone to come to the Association without explaining why.
“What’s wrong?”
“Ah… it’s Team Leader Jo Wooyeon. He sent a message, which isn’t like him.”
Did he not have time to call? Or was it not urgent, so it didn’t matter when he saw it? If that were the case, he would have called instead…
“I wonder what’s going on.”
Jiwon muttered, tilting his head.
“I’d better go see.”
Then he stood up. There must be a reason why he was asked to drop by. He would just have to go and find out.
“I’ll go with you.”
Suhyun, who had been sitting quietly beside him, also stood up and spoke. Jiwon, momentarily taken aback, quickly waved his hand.
“What for? Since he didn’t specifically mention you, I think he has something to say to me alone.”
Even outside of Riska dungeon matters, he often talked about various things with Jo Wooyeon. Most conversations were about the Association and Guides.
In any case, there was no need for Suhyun to accompany him. Wait, maybe the message was sent instead of a call because there was a high chance Suhyun would hear? If so, he wasn’t supposed to tell Suhyun…
“Hmm… I’ll be right back.”
Jiwon expressed his intention to go alone again, considering Jo Wooyeon’s possible intentions.
“……”
Seemingly displeased, Suhyun furrowed his brow and closed his mouth. It looked like he was begging to be taken along, which made Jiwon laugh involuntarily. Love’s blindness was truly frightening. How could someone so much taller than him look so cute?
“Just rest here, okay?”
Jiwon soothed Suhyun as if coaxing a child. Suhyun’s expression twisted a bit more as if he sensed this. The smile on Jiwon’s lips deepened.
“Understood.”
He was probably seriously ill. Looking at how he wanted to stamp his feet because the normally expressionless Suhyun looked so cute.
Jiwon swallowed the laughter that kept escaping. It would be troublesome if Suhyun actually got angry because he laughed too much.
