He fumbled with the faucet to turn on the warm water. Receiving the pouring water, he awkwardly began to move his hand. The heated flesh was moderately firm, and every time he stroked up and down, a heavy pleasure struck his lower abdomen.
The opaque steam that quickly rose filled the shower booth. In the hazy vision, Yeoul bit his lips. If he’d started this act after suddenly receiving such absurd stimulation, he should just… just… close his eyes and finish quickly, but wicked fantasies kept unfolding in his head.
‘You said you’d guide me, but you try to run away with just a little embrace.’
Kang Hyeseong saying that while playfully pulling his waist into an embrace. The feeling of being touched by rough hands that didn’t match his elegant and noble-looking face came to mind, and Yeoul unconsciously let out a moan.
“Ah… ngh, ah…”
His toes twitched at the voice that didn’t seem like his own. He felt embarrassed listening to it and wanted to run away from the shame, yet a sense of immorality arose at Kang Hyeseong’s presence that filled his head.
Even knowing he would suffer from intense self-reproach after this act ended, even worrying about how he should face him later, he couldn’t stop the act that had started to burn.
“Hah, ngh, hyung… Hye, Hyeseong hyung…”
His name spilled out of his mouth as if possessed. I shouldn’t do this. Stronger than the warning sound ringing noisily inside was the desire to keep calling out to him.
Kang Hyeseong who always treated him like a child. So Kang Hyeseong who treated him forever as the neighborhood kid next door who needed protection instead of seeing him as a partner, as a soldier. The hateful Kang Hyeseong who held his body in an embrace without any gaps yet only accepted it as guiding, and therefore had no agitation at all.
Kang Hyeseong who would never know these feelings of his, not even if he died and woke up again…
His heart ached. Nevertheless, Yeoul didn’t stop his hand. Kang Hyeseong wasn’t here so he couldn’t hear, but he called his name as if for him to hear.
“Hyung… Hyeseong hyung, ngh, ah, haa…”
Slap slap slap, his hand moved faster and faster. Though it was endlessly clumsy because it was an unfamiliar act, excitement surged to the top of his head.
Every time he stroked up the reddened shaft, moans burst out. Holding onto his member that twitched up and down little by little, Yeoul panted. His heart pounding threateningly urged him on as if chasing Yeoul from behind.
What if. Really, what if.
If Hyeseong hyung touched my body…
‘You crazy bastard…’
It was such a shocking fantasy that he even chewed out a curse he rarely used toward himself. He bit his lower lip hard and moved his hand. At the assumption that was too stimulating to handle, he even misstepped and his body staggered a bit. Yet still, the wings of imagination spread uncontrollably.
Hyung… how would Hyeseong hyung touch me if he touched me? He’d probably caress me with caring and gentle hands. He’s someone who cares more about my condition than his own health, who treats me wondering if I’d fly away if blown on or go out if squeezed, so he would definitely touch me carefully.
In his imagination, the slightly rough, calloused palms caressed his body. Stroking his stomach with broad palms, playing tricks tickling his navel with long fingers. The hand that gradually lowered would smoothly slide to his lower abdomen, and then, and then…
“Haa, ngh, mmh, hyung, ah…”
It feels good. Yeoul muttered in a voice soaked with pleasure. He imagined his hand gently grasping his member. In Kang Hyeseong’s palm that was much larger than his own hand, he would quickly reach climax without even rubbing a few times. Because just imagining it felt this good…
“Haa, haa, ngh, mmh…”
The flickering climax that seemed about to break rose precariously. Stars burst before his eyes. Yeoul panted with all his might and leaned his forehead against the wall. His waist trembled and his hips contracted in twitches.
The semen that had filled his palm mixed with the pouring warm water and flowed limply to the floor. Watching the sticky liquid soon get sucked into the drain, Yeoul had no choice but to realize that the act he’d just done wasn’t a dream but something that actually happened.
Yeoul, who plopped down on the spot, grabbed his head with both hands.
“I’m crazy, I’m really crazy…”
His own actions were shocking beyond belief. During all those long years of liking Kang Hyeseong, he’d never once done such shameless acts.
Of course, it would be a lie to say he’d never had such fantasies at all, but he swore he’d never done something as brazen as using him as… material like this.
His reddened, swollen cheeks showed no signs of subsiding. Suppressing the impulse to bang his head against the wall, Yeoul tugged at his wet hair.
This won’t do. Like this… it would interfere with guiding. When he’d finally gotten permission for embrace guiding. But he couldn’t become a beast-like Guide who got hard below every time he was embraced. Because quick-witted Kang Hyeseong would soon notice.
He had to solve this somehow. But by what means…? He’d need to know the method to solve it, but he couldn’t readily think of anyone to consult about this kind of problem.
Woojin and Jihu were on the support team, so they said they rarely conducted anything other than basic guiding and hand guiding unless it was an emergency situation. The only other Guide in R1 Team was Guide Lee Bora who was a different gender so he couldn’t ask, and he couldn’t search something like ‘how not to get hard during guiding’ on a portal site…
‘…Counseling center!’
At the word that flashed through his head, Yeoul jerked his head up.
It was something he’d heard during basic training. Within the Special Ability Security Bureau, there existed a counseling center for Guides. They conducted everything from emergency treatment to psychological counseling, and of course confidentiality was guaranteed, operating 365 days, 24 hours, so he could seek help anytime.
Suddenly it seemed like he could see a ray of hope. Yeoul began washing his body with hurried hands squeezing out body shampoo. As soon as he got dressed and went out, he planned to make a counseling appointment right away.
***
He called the counseling center to first find out if appointments were available. Luckily, a spot had just been canceled and he was able to book an appointment for that same day.
After finishing the team meeting, Yeoul hurriedly found the medical department building where the counseling center was located. The Guide counseling center and Esper counseling center were on separate floors, making it even more comfortable to use.
The counseling center had a pleasant and warm atmosphere from the waiting room. Yeoul looked around the interior while drinking warm tea as recommended by the staff. Watching other Guides comfortably waiting for counseling, Yeoul felt a little consoled. Because it seemed he wasn’t the only one with such concerns.
“Kim Yeoul-nim, please enter counseling room number 1.”
“Yes.”
After waiting about 10 minutes, Yeoul’s name was called. Yeoul, who had jumped up, hurriedly entered the counseling room. The counselor sitting in front of a round table welcomed Yeoul with a bright smile.
“Welcome. Guide Kim Yeoul.”
“Hello! Counselor.”
“Haha, you can be comfortable. First, shall we sit here?”
The counseling proceeded in a comfortable atmosphere. Looking at the counselor’s cozy yet serious eyes that seemed like they would accept anything, Yeoul stammered and confessed his confused emotions and bodily changes that he’d felt for the past few days like a confession. …Even the disgraceful incident that happened today.
Honestly, it wasn’t easy to confess such concerns to someone he was meeting for the first time. However, his desire to guide Kang Hyeseong without any problems was just as desperate. Rather than having an accident while proceeding with guiding like this, telling a professional everything and getting a solution seemed a hundred times better.
“…Mm, so to summarize Guide Kim Yeoul’s concerns.”
The counselor, who had listened to Yeoul’s concerns to the end, put down the chart they’d been earnestly writing on.
“You’re saying that recently, every time you guide, sexual urges arise, correct?”
“Y-…yes…”
“You mainly conduct embrace guiding, and your main concern is that such physical reactions occur every time you climb onto the Esper’s body.”
“…Yes…”
In front of the counselor who clearly pinpointed his concerns, Yeoul couldn’t bring himself to lift his head. It felt like hot steam was spouting from his ears.
He felt like finding even a mouse hole to crawl into if he could. The counselor had just recited exactly what he’d felt and done, yet it was this embarrassing…
“You must have worried a lot. I fully understand and empathize with the confusion the Guide must have felt. But I want to make sure to tell you that this is absolutely not an abnormal symptom.”
The counselor continued in a warm tone.
“Guide-nim, you’re at an age when sexual desire is vigorous, and your body is healthy, so it’s a natural symptom. Rather, the fact that Guide-nim feels sexual desire could be evaluated as guiding going well.”
“Ah, is that so…?”
“Yes. Have you ever experienced a rejection reaction?”
He nodded. When asked to explain that reaction in detail, Yeoul honestly confessed his experience from that day.
“You fainted, had a nosebleed, felt dizzy, and had a strong sense of nausea. Did you feel sexual desire then as well?”
“No, not at all…”
“You see the difference, right? That symptom is proof that your wavelengths are harmonizing well.”
The counselor continued explaining with a warm smile on their face.
“You’ve gone beyond feeling comfortable to the stage of feeling sexual desire. That’s why in evaluation tools, sexual desire is also used as an indicator that guiding is being conducted smoothly.”
“Ah…”
