Nothing mattered. If I could meet Yeoul again, if I could be with Yeoul again, I could do anything.
I could do it… I thought.
“Yoo… Seonjae?”
When I saw Yeoul, covering more than half his face with a mask, hesitating in front of me and calling my name, I barely held back tears that were about to burst forth.
“Yeoul.”
When I got up from my seat and pulled Yeoul into an embrace, after taking in deeply the faint pheromones flowing from him, I finally realized I’d met Yeoul again. Yeoul was still the Yeoul I knew, just as he was. Warm and gentle, my one and only omega.
“Um, wait…”
He should have stayed the same.
“If you suddenly hug me like this, I’m a bit flustered.”
“…Yeoul?”
Bewilderingly, formal speech came from Yeoul’s mouth.
“What’s wrong?”
“Ah… let’s sit down for now, shall we? I’m having a hard time.”
“Yeoul?”
Without even looking at my bewildered face, Yeoul sat down and let out a long sigh. I watched Yeoul slowly remove his mask with one hand on his lower back, and only then did my gaze reach his slightly swollen belly.
“Ah… It must be hard. I didn’t think. I’m sorry.”
“No. It doesn’t really show or anything, so most people don’t know.”
“Yeoul, why do you keep speaking formally?”
I felt hurt. No matter how much he left because he disliked me, with all the years we spent together, formal speech? He’s not even a stranger.
“Ah, sorry. It’s because you’re unfamiliar.”
“Unfamiliar…?”
“Should I order something first? Will you buy me some bread? Water is fine for a drink.”
At Yeoul’s words as he smiled brightly, I couldn’t say anything and just stood up like a machine and went to the kiosk to order. Until I brought coffee, bread, and water, I tried to organize my thoughts in my head. But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t understand Yeoul’s current behavior.
Even if he was embarrassed about abandoning me like that, it doesn’t make sense. We’ve been together for over 20 years—just because we haven’t seen each other for a few months, he’s so unfamiliar that he treats me like a stranger? Besides, not ordering a drink at a café and only ordering bread isn’t like Yeoul either…
It feels like I’m facing someone else wearing Han Yeoul’s shell. I’m the one who finds the Yeoul before my eyes unfamiliar.
“Ah, thank you. I was hungry.”
Yeoul smiled brightly while picking up the bread and taking a bite. He smiles well… He smiles well even when looking at me, but why does it feel so unfamiliar and hurtful?
“Yeoul.”
“Yes, Mr. Seonjae.”
“Mr. Seonjae? Really, why are you like this?”
I really want to cry. Why does he keep treating me like someone he doesn’t know?
“Ah, wait a moment. Sorry, but could we talk after I eat a bit? I don’t think I was like this before, but maybe because of the baby… if I miss a meal, it gets a bit hard. Please understand.”
Yeoul smiled broadly and stroked his belly. The words that he needs to eat first because of the baby in his belly also sound hurtful. It shouldn’t be hurtful that Yeoul fills his stomach with the bread I bought, but I wanted to just get rid of all that bread that’s monopolizing Yeoul’s attention while ignoring me right in front of him.
While watching Yeoul eat bread, slowly moving his plump red lips, I tried to find the image of the Yeoul I knew.
What kind of face did the Yeoul I know have? What was the look in his eyes when he looked at me? His chattering voice? The warmth of his arms when he hugged me?
Each time I recalled something, I tried to overlap it with the Yeoul before my eyes, but I don’t know. I can’t remember anything. With things like this, I was getting confused about whether my Yeoul and the Yeoul before my eyes were the same person—no, whether Yeoul even existed as a real person.
This wasn’t what I expected when I came out.
“Ah. I feel like I can live now. Thank you. I was starving all day, so it was tough. Shall we talk now? Mr. Yoo Seonjae.”
The unfamiliar Han Yeoul looked at me and smiled brightly.
“Yeoul, what on earth…”
Watching me bewildered, Yeoul took a sip of water.
“Ah, I must have spoken casually before, right? We’re old friends, and we were… married, you said?”
I couldn’t understand at all what Yeoul was saying while scratching his head. Why is he talking like it’s someone else’s business? It’s our story. Not someone else’s story, but our story. But why…?
“Yeoul?”
“Mm. I’m sorry. I don’t have any memories of Mr. Yoo Seonjae at all… so even if you call me like that, I don’t know how to respond.”
“You have no… memories?”
Yeoul rummaged in his pocket, took out a mask, and put it back on as he spoke.
“Sorry, but I’m going to put my mask back on. When I go outside, other alphas’ scents are a bit strong, so it’s hard to breathe.”
“……”
“But the scent from Mr. Yoo Seonjae is okay, so I guess you really are my husband.”
Yeoul’s eyes curved into crescents. Yeoul was smiling, but I couldn’t smile. No memories—I don’t understand what all that means. What on earth happened to make the kid in this state?
“What on earth happened?”
“Pardon?”
“What on earth happened to make you in this state?”
“Ah. Well… I don’t really know either.”
“You don’t know?”
Han Yeoul, who buried himself deep in the sofa and let out a sigh, looked into the distance and spoke slowly as if reciting:
“I just, one day I opened my eyes and didn’t know who I was.”
“…What?”
“Exactly what I said. I didn’t remember anything. My name, age, what I do, where this is, anything.”
I can’t believe it. Can such a thing happen? No, even if it can happen, why does it happen to Han Yeoul?
“I looked in a mirror, confirmed my appearance, happened to have an ID in my wallet, so ah… I’m Han Yeoul. I’m an omega. That’s how I knew.”
“What do you mean…”
“I didn’t know I was pregnant, but one day something wriggled in my belly. It was really scary.”
“……”
“I thought there was some kind of worm in my belly and wondered if I should take deworming medicine. Then I thought, ah, maybe I have a terminal illness? After thinking various things, I got too depressed, and you know what conclusion I came to?”
“…What?”
“I came here to die because I’m terminally ill!”
“Yeoul…”
“I mean, the place I was at was an island with only grandmas and grandpas—what reason would I have to go there? I had no connection. So I thought that.”
The story was too heavy for something told with a smile. Even knowing it wasn’t true and listening, my heart is this heavy, but I found it pitiful that he was left to think such thoughts alone, so I had difficulty looking straight at Yeoul’s face.
“But suddenly I had this thought. The original me might have come here to die, but the current me wants to live. So, whatever it is, let’s get tested once, and when I was trying to take a boat to the mainland, there happened to be a day when a food supply company comes to the island. So I thought I’d hitch a ride on that vehicle.”
“That was…”
“Yeah. Yeonghyo.”
I don’t know why I’m Mr. Yoo Seonjae while Kim Yeonghyo is Yeonghyo, but I decided to just listen quietly for now.
“He was really happy to see me, but I didn’t know him, and Yeonghyo was really flustered seeing me like that too. Plus, I kept throwing up because of that friend’s pheromones, so he was even more flustered. There were only betas on the island, so I didn’t know I’d react that severely to alpha pheromones. I didn’t know I was pregnant at that time.”
“Yeah…”
“Anyway, I barely made it to the mainland and got tested, and they said I was pregnant. I was sitting there dazed after hearing I was pregnant without even knowing who the father was, and Yeonghyo said this. That I only have one baby daddy.”
“……”
“Were we famous? Mr. Yoo Seonjae and me?”
Were we? I just thought being with you was natural, so I didn’t care about other people’s gazes.
“As far as he knows, if there’s nothing unusual, the baby’s father would naturally be Yoo Seonjae, Yeonghyo said, but I’d have to remember.”
Yeoul, who had been chattering well, seemed short of breath and caught his breath while taking a deep breath for a moment. I was worried about Yeoul like that and held out the water glass, but Yeoul shook his head as if he was okay.
“After that day, I couldn’t meet Yeonghyo directly. I kept feeling sick, so we only talked on the phone. Instead, Yeonghyo’s younger sister took care of me. Thankfully.”
Ah. That, the chatty employee.
“Why didn’t you contact me?”
“…How could I when I don’t know?”
