Why? Let’s watch together. Sex between those two is rarer than panda mating.
“Ugh.”
At Moon Jaeyoung’s goading words, Park Seoyun got really angry.
“Everyone stop it. Eden too, J you too! If you live like that, when you miss something truly precious and regret it, it’ll be too late then.”
Park Seoyun, who never dreamed what kind of passionate affair his prophecy would ignite later, treated the two like protagonists in a romance movie, like cowards who couldn’t even recognize affection and crossed paths, then turned around. Moon Jaeyoung snickered.
Right now here, he seemed the most gay, didn’t he?
I’m telling you, him being hetero is total bullshit. Moon Jaeyoung, who even forgot to dig into Kang Ikwon’s insides, chased after him to mock Park Seoyun’s innocently romantic advice. J, who had been grinning watching that, stared intently at Kang Ikwon who remained expressionless even in the middle of this commotion.
But seriously, you’re really sexy right now. Like you’re all on edge…
J whispered.
Is it because you look starved?
Perhaps what J wanted to emphasize was the former, but only the last words stuck in Kang Ikwon’s chest. Look starved. Kang Ikwon slowly repeated. He didn’t expect to be caught off guard by the likes of J. It was a surprisingly sharp and concise expression explaining Kang Ikwon’s state. Unlike the playful earlier, J’s hand touched his thigh with obvious intent.
You haven’t done it in quite a while, right? With other people besides me too.
I’m not in the mood, so fuck off.
Kang Ikwon knocked away the clinging hand. Far from being embarrassed, J didn’t even care.
Won’t you do it with me anymore? Or doesn’t it get hard at all?
There was no more response from Kang Ikwon. Hmm. J squinted his eyes. What a shame.
Sex was a fundamental right that took priority over anything for him, but for Kang Ikwon it was nothing more than a physiological element like sleep or excretion. If Kang Ikwon only made secondary and selective partners, J made countless and sporadic partners. Because extremes meet, they thought they matched fairly well.
That was also an old story though. Looking at Kang Ikwon’s front that was thick even under the jogger pants, J, who couldn’t let go of regret, muttered.
Is the stimulation insufficient.
……
How about trying it once with us after all?
The moment he proposed the threesome with the lover whose eyes were like a puppy and lips like a kitty again, Kang Ikwon turned his head and glared at him.
If you mess around again, this time I’ll shoot without a warning shot.
This is Korea.
J slyly pulled back his butt. Two years ago, even after their reunion when he brought two partners to find a way to pull the unchangingly cold and indifferent Kang Ikwon into pleasure. Kang Ikwon closed the book he was reading, took out a gun from the table and aimed without hesitation. I’ll shoot two rounds at the ceiling. Kang Ikwon said. If you don’t leave within that, the third will be stuck in your forehead. The muzzle moved toward J. You first.
Instead of that, how about meeting my cutie once?
J, who still believed it was just choosing the wrong partner, persistently persuaded. Kang Ikwon spat without even turning his head.
Why would I with your disposable.
Disposable, we’ve been meeting for half a year already.
Even so, you’re playing around freely in New York.
That’s what sustaining a smooth relationship is originally.
J stretched while removing the eye mask from his neck.
Because I let off steam in New York, we can be fulfilled in Korea.
He was used to J’s free view of romance, and Kang Ikwon too was once part of that breathing room. If it were before, he wouldn’t have even felt it worth refuting. That his words felt uncomfortable now was because of the memory of tears that overlapped unnecessarily.
Sounds like trash.
At Kang Ikwon’s words that he chewed and spat lowly, J snickered.
I liked that you didn’t pretend to be fastidious when you’re an ascetic, but don’t act charmless.
I don’t need to look charming to you either.
Then who are you trying to look good to?
Kang Ikwon, who would normally ignore such words without even laughing, glared as if hit on the mark.
Eden. Are you sick of me?
J grinned. The form of spinning the eye mask was relaxed. J sometimes reminded him just a tiny bit of that man somewhere. Though there wasn’t a single similar corner in their features, it was that characteristic dissolute and detached feeling like he wouldn’t care about people chasing him and would run ahead alone. So Kang Ikwon answered one beat late, unlike usual.
I was never fond of you from the start.
I’m glad you haven’t changed.
J kissed the cold fingertips.
I was nervous because your answer was late, thinking you’d finally fallen for me.
J ran away giggling before Kang Ikwon could twist his wrist. He didn’t forget to throw the lingering attachment he couldn’t abandon till the end.
If you change your mind, tell me. If it’s you, we’re always welcome.
In the finally quiet pool, Kang Ikwon closed his eyes with a disgusted face. Long, now chronic fatigue pressed down on him. He heard the sound of someone diving into the water but didn’t open his eyes. That day, the sound of cutting through the current and the fingertips faded in afterglow moment by moment.
That damn dream was the problem.
Last summer, Kang Ikwon attended a trashy conference just because it was held in Korea. In early winter, he even impulsively detoured through Hong Kong. Whenever he had time, or making time, in Korea that he visited, Kang Ikwon always wandered aimlessly through the back alleys of Itaewon or loitered around PP and returned with no harvest. On days he woke from sleep in a blank afterglow, he was anxious all day and felt like his head was half-submerged in water the whole time. He couldn’t just stupidly guard the hotel room and leave again this time.
If I meet him this time.
Kang Ikwon tapped his interlocked fingertips. Sweet and soft words poured out dancing.
My head is completely fucking Disney.
The sneer, however, faded faintly. Kang Ikwon cast his eyes down and hardened his cheeks stiffly like someone pretending a cute puppy was bothersome. Yet he didn’t try to attach a name to this loneliness that sweetly squeezed his chest till the end.
***
[How do you find someone?]
At the sudden question, Teo turned to look at Kang Ikwon.
[Depends on the situation. You could ask around or use an agency… Those exist in Korea too, though unlike America, they’re probably illegal.]
[……]
[Who are you looking for?]
Seeing his brow furrow as if displeased by the mention of illegality, Teo asked. Instead of answering, Kang Ikwon took a sip of his drink. For someone who’d come out of his own accord, he showed not a hint of enjoyment and looked completely exhausted.
Well, it’s not like his tastes would suddenly change, and Kang Ikwon using his vacation days to follow gay events around was bizarre to begin with. Seeming to have reached his limit after three days, Kang Ikwon finally spoke again just as Teo was about to forget their earlier conversation.
[I have a favor to ask.]
Teo leaned in, thinking he’d misheard.
[You have a fever?]
[A person.]
After a brief silence, rubbing his chin as if choosing his words, Kang Ikwon finally said:
[I want to find someone.]
[What kind?]
[Last year… someone who came to the PP pool party.]
At the unexpected words, Teo stared at him with a blank face. He couldn’t quite grasp either the content of the request or the intention behind it.
[PP—you mean that hotel where you stay?]
[Yeah.]
[It’s not… for some weird purpose, is it?]
Teo asked cautiously. He couldn’t ask directly, but Kang Ikwon ‘tracking’ someone down didn’t conjure up anything good.
[Not the direction you’re thinking.]
Kang Ikwon answered vaguely.
[For something like that, wouldn’t it be better to ask Dan instead of me?]
[……]
[Well, I guess.]
Who knows what would come back if he asked Moon Jaeyoung for something like that. Chuckling as he pulled out his phone, Teo heard words he couldn’t believe.
[…I see.]
[What?]
[It would be better to ask Dan.]
Teo slowly lowered his phone. Kang Ikwon asking Moon Jaeyoung for something? Kang Ikwon, who hated owing anyone anything, especially never created debts with Moon Jaeyoung. According to Kang Ikwon’s belief that you should only owe people who can be repaid and only borrow from reasonable people, Moon Jaeyoung failed on both counts. But to be willing to accept that—just what kind of grudge did he have with this person?
“Excuse me,”
[Not interested.]
Kang Ikwon answered without even turning his eyes. The man who’d approached him bristled.
“At least hear me out,”
[Fuck off.]
At first, at least he had the courtesy to deflect with something like “not interested in you,” but now it was just “fuck off.”
When someone occasionally responded enthusiastically in English, a bombardment of “Fuck”s flew mercilessly. What the hell, the man cursed and turned away. Teo, who’d just gotten his ears dirtied being nearby, sighed. If this is how it’s going to be, why dress up so nicely? When you have no intention of responding to any advances. Unlike in Korea where he usually wore all-black workout clothes, today Kang Ikwon was dressed quite carefully.
At least it brought out his inherently ascetic beauty rather than looking like a boxer returned from hell. Well-dressed, Kang Ikwon looked considerably more approachable and gentle. Thanks to that, men kept swarming around him endlessly, and Kang Ikwon’s mood steadily declined until it finally hit rock bottom. After a moment of composing his emotions, Kang Ikwon muttered in a low voice, impossible to tell if he was sighing or gritting his teeth. I can’t take this anymore.
[I’ll step out for a bit.]
