Seo Nakil led me out of the office.
It was similar yet slightly different from the attitude he’d shown when we met Kwon Seonho at the rooftop garden. Back then he’d simply tried to separate me from an unfavorable situation, but this time I felt a bit clearer will and intention.
‘Don’t stay in a trash can like this.’
It was a moment when my reality, which I’d struggled to endure somehow, was summarized with cruel clarity.
I followed Seo Nakil limply. My feet kept dragging and my knees trembled, but he didn’t wait for me. People’s gazes flew painfully. Eyes curious about this strange situation, Seo Nakil’s unexpected presence, and our relationship.
A thunderous shout burst out from behind me.
“That bastard, you, Han Ijae! Won’t you stop right there?”
But I wasn’t caught by the CEO who was furious to the top of his head. Because someone pushed my back, sending me even closer to Seo Nakil.
“You really came. Honestly, I didn’t expect it.”
“…”
“Hurry up and go, Ijae. Turn off your phone if possible.”
“What are you doing, Director Jeong? Are you deaf? I told you to catch that fucking bastard…”
“Ah, CEO-nim. Why are you doing this again? You’re going to kill someone at this rate, okay? You’ve long since washed your hands, so you can’t act so roughly with a CEO business card. How many eyes are watching here?”
As I staggered briefly, Seo Nakil pulled me a bit more strongly.
“Can’t you follow?”
“…”
“Then I’ll carry you.”
At those words, I gritted my teeth and put strength in my knees. I didn’t want to become more of a spectacle. Even less did I want to become baggage he had to take care of.
My gripped wrist throbbed. No, actually what hurt might not be my wrist. Pain I couldn’t understand or explain kept surging up.
“Why did you come up?”
Having come down to the first floor, I stepped back instead of getting in the car. A buzzing sound rang ceaselessly in my ears, and my vision seemed to spin.
It was truly a complete mess.
“You said you’d wait in the car.”
I said I’d be back.
“…You lied to me again.”
“Han Ijae-ssi.”
Seo Nakil let out a sigh.
“Is now the time to say such things? Do you know you almost got hurt?”
“…”
“Was the CEO always like this? You didn’t run away when he threw that, didn’t call employees outside… Don’t tell me.”
To me with my head deeply bowed, he asked.
“Did you know?”
There was no way I didn’t know. Did that personality just fall from the sky overnight? The CEO was always like that. Before I died, around the time I decided to die, and now when that death had come to nothing—there were no exceptions.
“You knew all that and went up alone?”
“Then what should I do?”
I was still looking down only at my feet. My vision wavered unstably then blurred slightly.
“When our CEO-nim gets angry, he raises his voice first. Insults are easy and violence is even easier. So probably, no, he would definitely hurt me. Because I’d only say things he doesn’t want to hear. Should I have said those things?”
“If you’d told me, I would have helped.”
“I didn’t want your help.”
It was an ungrateful thing to say. If not for his help, I might have been able to leave only after getting hurt somewhere. I knew that and still said it.
“There can be things more important than help in this world. There could have been something I wanted to protect even if it meant refusing you, Actor-nim…”
“You refused me for that reason?”
Seo Nakil’s stern voice poured down on me. Because it was too overwhelming, it couldn’t soak in and dripped down to pool at my feet.
“What’s so great that you’re refusing?”
“…”
“I said I’d let you use me. That I have more than enough money, ability, and willingness. Much more than you think, I can give you more than your imagination can reach.”
Now my focus wasn’t working properly. The inside of my eyelids was hot and painful.
“I don’t mean you should be extremely grateful. You can think of it as biting onto one sucker you happened to run into.”
Strangely, Seo Nakil seemed a bit aggrieved.
“You just need to use me. But why won’t you even do that?”
“…”
“Is it pride? What you wanted to protect even if it meant refusing me.”
At those words, what had been pooling painfully finally dripped down.
“I know it looks foolish and pathetic, but what if this is all I have left…”
“Ijae-ssi.”
“I know what dignity is too, Actor-nim. I too…”
No matter how much I’ve been to rock bottom and back.
“I know what shame is.”
Maybe you did it because you wanted to save me. My situation that you happened to learn about looked quite absurd even from afar, so you wanted to somehow fix or change it.
As he said, Seo Nakil was amazing, and he could easily do things I couldn’t. The difference between Han Ijae, who died for lack of 500 million won and left debt to his whole family, and Seo Nakil, who prepared that money in one day, was as stark as heaven and earth. It was confusingly grateful that he would bestow such a benefit on me.
But Seo Nakil’s favor was like hydrogen peroxide poured on a wound dripping blood. Bubbling, white foam boiled over from the raw flesh that hadn’t healed yet, along with pain.
Even knowing it was all for me. Knowing it was for my sake.
This situation hurt me.
“What makes you trust me enough to spend 500 million won on me?”
“…”
“That’s money really going down the drain. Aren’t you upset that such a large sum goes into someone else’s pocket and disappears like it’s nothing?”
‘It’s quite cheap for the price of a life. Isn’t it.’
“Even if it’s a life bought for a bargain price, it has no use. Then what value does it have to you, Actor-nim?”
“I told you before. We are…”
“Hyung and dongsaeng?”
That assumption he came with out of nowhere was, thinking about it, too paltry. Even more so now that I brought it up.
What younger brother in the world would be worth more than 500 million won? Even if, as he said, we had a relationship calling each other hyung and dongsaeng, we were actually complete strangers without a drop of shared blood.
What kind of heart could put out that large sum and not feel it was a waste? There might be such affection somewhere in the world, but at least I had no connection to it.
“Since when was I such an amazing younger brother to you, Actor-nim?”
Your lies are so brazen that sometimes it even seems like you’re tired of pretending to deceive.
I took out the business card from my pocket. Because I roughly pulled it out as if venting, it got a bit crumpled.
With it placed on my palm, I looked up at Seo Nakil. It was the first time our eyes met since leaving the building, and he seemed a bit flustered looking at my face.
It didn’t matter. Whatever feelings he had now wouldn’t be more confused than mine. With my other hand I took out my phone and pressed the eleven digits of his phone number.
A call went through to a number with no trace of being saved, not even a record of a connected call.
And a few seconds later, a phone vibrated inside Seo Nakil’s pocket.
“Take it out.”
“…”
“Take it out in front of me, Actor-nim.”
Seo Nakil took out his phone while keeping his gaze fixed on me. On the screen only eleven digits appeared, with no saved name displayed.
“You told me to call you hyung?”
We were just strangers. Perfect strangers with no connection, who wouldn’t have even known each other’s contact information if not for this business card.
“You know best that we’re not in that kind of relationship, Seo Nakil-ssi.”
“…”
“Why did you deceive me?”
A long silence flowed. Seo Nakil gripped his phone tightly then shoved it into his pocket.
“…Well. What meaning would any answer have? You won’t be able to trust me anyway, and I don’t have the confidence to persuade you when you’re cornered like this.”
He said as if sighing.
“Then in the end what’s needed is an appropriate justification. A plausible excuse for why it wouldn’t be strange for me to spend about 500 million won on you.”
Eventually his words that flew in painfully pierced my soul.
“Let’s make it as a sponsor.”
