# Chapter 78
“I’ll be going now.”
“……”
Woosang seemed displeased, standing still with a stiff expression before eventually waving his hand.
“Take care.”
At his weak voice, I headed outside without saying anything special. I wanted to stay with Woosang in Munich for a few more days, but I decided to leave right away to solve the problem I needed to deal with and to avoid causing trouble for Woosang.
I put the phone and wallet I had received from him in my pocket, packed only the necessities in a small bag, and headed straight to the bus terminal.
Since I had become familiar with the busy downtown area after going back and forth for a few days, I didn’t get confused with the directions. As I crossed the street, I thought about my destination.
‘Originally, I should have finished everything in Berlin…’
The information I had bought in Berlin had become completely useless by now. I couldn’t easily guess where Hund might be.
He might have crossed to France or be hiding in another city, but I wasn’t certain. So I had to start everything from scratch.
My head ached from the complicated situation, but at least my body seemed to have fully recovered after resting for a few days. Plus, my once confused mind had become clearer after spending time with Woosang and organizing my thoughts.
Now, even if it was troublesome, I planned to slowly follow the steps I had planned.
I bought a bus ticket at the counter and checked the time. It was 10 PM.
I idly fiddled with my bag strap while watching the slowly setting sun. Unlike what I had to do next, this current moment felt infinitely leisurely.
Just then, the Berlin-bound bus stopped in front of me. I handed my ticket to the driver who was getting off the bus and greeted him lightly.
It was the beginning of another journey without a destination.
***
I dozed off and came to my senses. The clock mounted on the front seat of the bus showed 4 AM.
The overnight bus that had departed from Munich was scheduled to arrive in Berlin at 7 AM. That meant we still had 3 more hours to go.
The people sitting in the back and front seats, like me, seemed uncomfortable with the bus seats, as they couldn’t stay still and kept moving their bodies. It seemed like my nerves were getting sensitive because of those small noises—just as I was about to fall asleep, they would make me lose sleep again.
Of course, I couldn’t ask them to be quiet since I was also moving around just the same.
‘I’m already tired…’
If there had been no problem with my ID, I could have gone straight to France and searched for places where Hund might be. But at this point, I had neither a way to solve this alone nor any information, so meeting the informant I had met before was a priority.
Setting foot in Berlin without Woosang was unfamiliar, and it was troublesome to move from Berlin to France again, but I had no choice.
Just then, the bus suddenly left the highway and started heading somewhere through a side road. Looking around curiously, it seemed the bus was stopping at a rest area for a moment. The driver said in a quiet voice that we would take a 10-minute break.
Although all I could see were a few vending machines and a closed bakery, I prepared to get off because my insides felt stuffy.
“Haah……”
Though many passengers were asleep due to the early dawn, passengers who couldn’t sleep, like me, got off the bus one by one. At that moment, it occurred to me that there might be a message from Woosang, so I took my phone out of my pocket.
I turned on the screen to check for messages, but nothing had come in. I thought about contacting him, but realizing it was late at night, I gave up.
Thinking about Woosang, I felt anxious about whether going to Berlin was the right thing to do.
‘Maybe it would have been better to move around from place to place and hide, as Woosang said.’
At this point, I didn’t want to do anything dangerous that would risk my life. Therefore, if Hund wanted something from me, I wanted to tell him I would do anything, bowing down to him.
But Hund wouldn’t have anything to want from me. I could tell because I had always vaguely known him, though not completely.
As I was lost in thought, I felt a man beside me looking down at me intently while smoking. Puzzled, I raised my eyes and met his gaze.
[“Hello?”]
[“Hello.”]
English flowed naturally from the man’s mouth. I didn’t know if I should be thankful it wasn’t German, but I responded normally.
[“Tired, right? I booked an overnight bus on purpose to sleep on it, but damn it, I can’t fall asleep.”]
I nodded as I watched the man chattering on.
[“Are you going to Berlin? Or getting off in another city?”]
[“I’m going to Berlin.”]
[“Are you German? Sorry. I can only speak English.”]
I simply replied that it was fine. Then, thinking I should make conversation, I asked the man:
[“What brings you to Berlin?”]
[“Just going for work. I’ll be in Berlin, then back to Munich a week later, then to another city the week after. It’s exhaustingly tiring.”]
The man seemed to be working by moving around to various places without staying in one place for long. When I worked, I often went to different countries or cities, but on the days I returned home, I stayed at home without moving for a while.
So I didn’t have many experiences of stepping on different lands every day.
[“Isn’t it nice to encounter many new things as you travel from place to place?”]
[“It was like that at first. But not anymore. When I keep moving like this, even when I go back home after work, it doesn’t feel like my home.”]
I immediately understood what feeling he was describing. Just a little while ago, I had wondered if it would be nice to live by moving residences with Woosang, but in reality, I knew better than anyone that it wouldn’t work.
Even now, it was like that. While I wouldn’t mind the location as long as I was with him, the anxiety about wandering without a destination grew day by day.
In the Paris house, I could freely think about anxiety, sadness, and happiness as I wished, but now I couldn’t. That sometimes made a person miserable.
I felt one side of my head, which had become comfortable from the outside air, rapidly stiffening. The man who had been chatting with me gestured for me to return, and I also got up from my seat and headed back to the uncomfortable bus.
Returning to my original seat, I tried to close my eyes despite the discomfort. Because after waking up, I would need to move busily. For that, conserving energy was better than falling into depression.
But contrary to my wishes, I couldn’t get a wink of sleep until we arrived in Berlin, and I got off the bus with an awkward gait, gathering my belongings.
The scenery of Berlin that unfolded outside the bus was familiar but not very welcome.
‘Should I go to the trading place first….’
Though it seemed like no one would be there because it was too early, I thought waiting for the informant there would be quicker than wandering around aimlessly.
I left the bus terminal and headed to a nearby station. As the geography wasn’t familiar yet, I traced down the station names while looking at the route map.
Fortunately, there was a line that went directly from the current station to my destination, so it seemed like I could just continue straight.
I found it fascinating how I was now able to find my way quite well. I closed my eyes and opened my ears, focusing on the announcements. After about 20 minutes, I realized I had reached a familiar station.
I moved to the trading place, passing through dirty streets. Naturally, no one was there. It was uncertain whether they would return in the evening, but this place seemed safer than wandering around the city.
As I looked around, the atmosphere seemed different from what I usually saw.
It was always dirty, but today the surroundings looked particularly messy, and there were no traces of people having stayed for long.
‘Did something happen?’
Of course, changing trading places was a common occurrence, but this place had remained largely unchanged for years.
It wasn’t a place where police would pass by, and it was just an intermediate point to guide to the actual trading location.
Just then, at the edge of my vision, I noticed bloodstains on a dirty wall. Those definitely weren’t there a few months ago.
Somehow, I had a bad feeling. I slowly backed away and headed toward the station, leaving the place. On my way, I suddenly remembered the flower shop I had visited last time.
‘I should go there.’
Small flower shops like that only laundered money, so they rarely suddenly disappeared or changed owners.
I walked briskly the one subway stop distance. I kicked away the garbage that hit my feet appropriately. Somehow, each of these little things was just irritating.
Despite it not being particularly hot in the early morning, sweat was forming on my forehead.
Entering the station and looking for the flower shop, I found that the place where the flower shop used to be was now occupied by a completely different store.
‘Something is definitely wrong.’
Anxious thoughts started to explode in my mind. It seemed like something had happened and all the trading places had been moved, but it was very peculiar that they had changed so soon after I had come and gone.
‘Surely not…’
Just then, feeling a gaze from behind, I turned around startled. But where I had felt the gaze, only dirty garbage was rolling around. It seems I’ve become sensitive to small coincidences.
If the trading place had disappeared, I needed to find another location. But I questioned if that would be possible.
At that moment, I felt a vibration in my pocket. Startled, I hurriedly took out my phone and looked at the screen.
Thankfully, it was a call from Woosang.
“Hello?”
“Teo, did you arrive safely?”
“Yes, I just got to Berlin. Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, I slept well.”
Wondering if he had called because something had happened, I tensed up, but he added:
“I feel even more anxious now that I can contact you anytime… That’s not what I was going to say. Soon I’ll finish the performances and need to move to another city.”
Woosang told me the name of the city he was moving to, but maybe because I was tense, I couldn’t hear it properly. I shook my head and tried to follow the conversation.
“Ah, um, then will you stay there after the performances end? I’ll come find you.”
“Yes.”
I couldn’t know exactly where he was going, but I answered vaguely. I felt sorry towards him, but I just couldn’t concentrate at all right now.
Fortunately, Woosang didn’t seem to notice my state and ended the call with a farewell, saying we’d see each other later.
My head throbbed, forcing me to organize my thoughts. Having come this far, I couldn’t just go back, but no good solution came to mind.
I rubbed my face dry while thinking deeply.
‘What I can do now is….’
The scenes that looked noticeably different. The gaze I felt somewhere. This place that seemed to have led me.
I felt like I could picture what Hund wanted.
“Damn it.”
I chewed out a small curse and left the station. Looking at the hot sunlight pouring down on my head, I hurriedly moved my steps.
