Before his words could even finish, I opened my mouth.
“Then you could have just not worried about it and abandoned me in a suitable place.”
“…What?”
I made an expressionless face. I raised my head and spoke in a low voice with calm eyes.
“Didn’t you dislike me?”
It seems already too late, but even now I wish you wouldn’t give me affection. I wish you wouldn’t be hurt because of humans again.
“If it’s because of me, there’s even less reason to be angry, isn’t there?”
The strength left his hand gripping my arm. I bowed at the waist before him.
“Please. Could you forgive these people?”
“…Take it and go.”
Bihyeon, whose strength completely released as he let go of my arm, pointed at the small house and spoke coldly. But his eyes were clearly wavering, filled with complicated emotions. It was an appearance unlike him. I deliberately avoided the eyes of Bihyeon, who was moving his lips and choosing words to say, and turned around. Then I bowed to the rat. The rat, who had been reading his mood, hit my leg thwack, thwack.
“Y-you crazy thing…!”
It was a small voice. The rat, who had spoken quietly so only I could hear, bowed his head deeply.
“No… no. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you go through this because of me, human….”
“You don’t need to apologize. I was really happy to be able to rest after so long.”
“You fool. You foolish thing…!”
As we were talking, Bihyeon silently turned around and headed to his room. I kept my mouth shut for a moment, then pointed at the clothes I was wearing and said to the rat. They were clothes I had worn out from the dollhouse.
“I’ll return these clothes later.”
I won’t come to this place anymore, but if he comes to the cafe, I could return them, couldn’t I? When I smiled, the rat shook his head.
“You don’t have to give them back. They were all made to give to you anyway.”
“…Excuse me.”
The cat, who had come to the rat’s side, called me while reading the mood.
“Hello.”
“Call me Myoun. Do you know your current state by any chance?”
“I only know that I’m under a curse. In detail….”
The cat hesitated with eyes that wondered if they should say this, but eventually opened their mouth.
“…If a soul gets even a little wounded, it really hurts. They say humans feel a level of pain they can’t endure….”
“Pardon?”
“Your soul is torn to shreds. That too, but… first of all, the size of your soul is too small. I wonder how you didn’t die.”
Worried eyes turned toward me as if asking if I was okay. But I’m not in that much pain….
“Doesn’t it hurt?”
“It only hurts about as much as body aches. Is my soul torn because I’m under a strong curse?”
“The curse is strong, but that’s not because of the current curse. It seems like it’s been gnawed at since much earlier….”
Hmm, the cat who had been staring at me intently soon perked up their ears. After examining my face for a while, they eventually became dejected and stepped back.
“Sorry… it’s too complicated, I can’t see. My eyes that see souls don’t reach as far as past lives. Maeyang would be able to see it all though….”
Maeyang? When I tilted my head and looked at the rat, he sighed deeply and briefly explained.
“It’s the sheep among the Twelve Zodiac Deities. Right now they’re far away… if Maeyang returns to the center, I’ll introduce you.”
At this rate I’ll meet all the Twelve Zodiac Deities…. Though I don’t know if I’ll be alive until then.
“I will repay this debt without fail. And I’ll definitely make that house bigger and give it to you. I promise, human.”
“…Why would you go that far….”
Are we close enough for you to do that much? Aren’t we just people who met very briefly?
“Why go this far, you ask?”
“Yes….”
Even while reading the mood, when I answered honestly, the rat raised the corners of his mouth.
“Because our fates have become connected.”
Fate. What a joyful word. At the same time, sad and painful. The rat made the dollhouse float in the air and placed it in my hand.
“You might think it’s unlucky, but keep it. If you’re lucky, you might be able to see the wandering merchant.”
“Wandering merchant?”
“Right. Normally you can’t easily see them… anyway, right now they’re working as a merchant buying and selling precious ownerless items. With this much, they’ll exchange it for something good, so you keep it.”
“But this is something Seodam-nim made with difficulty.”
“It’s fine, so take it, you human. You greedy-less thing.”
Looking at the rat pushing me to hurry and leave before Bihyeon-nim came out, I hugged the house tightly. Then I turned around and bowed deeply at the waist.
“I ate well and rested well. Thank you.”
Because this might really be the last time. After conveying my sincerity to them, I walked toward the door. I have no luggage to take, so I can just leave like this. I stroked the door for no reason and looked slowly, then smiled.
“Thank you.”
Kkeeing….
The eyes of the haechis drawn on the door turned toward me. The door opened slightly at the small crying sound, and I pushed it out. Beyond it, I could see my house. A lonely small house with nothing. Thud. Until the door closed, Bihyeon didn’t come out of his room. It was bitter, but I thought it was rather for the best. I put down the small house where it could be seen well and walked quickly to lie down on the blanket. Throb, unlike when I was in the small house, my condition deteriorated rapidly at a fast pace and my whole body ached. I tightly hugged the family photo next to it and closed my eyes.
It’s soon now. So let’s grow distant from Bihyeon-nim like this. Until I die.
* * *
“Oh my, Hansol! Are you okay!”
“Yes, I’m sorry. You must have suffered a lot without me.”
“Suffering! You’re the one who suffered going through such a thing….”
It felt like it had been a really long time since I came to the cafe. When I opened the door and entered, the boss, who rushed over while sniffling, hugged me tightly. My body condition wasn’t good, so I staggered for a moment, then hugged him back and patted his back. Each time, a splashing sound was made, but I was used to it now and didn’t care much. The fish who rushed over looking at me smiling couldn’t settle down and awkwardly raised his hands, then eventually hugged both the boss and me at once. He seemed to have worried about me a lot too.
“Why do incidents and accidents never cease around you! The curse seems to have gotten stronger too….”
I’m really upset. The fish who muttered let out an “Eohyu.”
“You’re not hurt anywhere? Huh?”
“I’m fine. I came back after resting well.”
At my answer, both of them looked suspicious.
“I can’t believe your ‘I’m fine’ anymore.”
I laughed weakly, then bowed to say what I needed to say first.
“Boss, I have a favor to ask first.”
“Sure! Just tell me what it is!”
“When Bihyeon-nim comes while you’re here, could I ask a favor?”
“…Huh? That’s not difficult, but why? Did something happen to hurt your feelings?”
The boss blinked and frantically waved his hands, saying,
“Sol-ah, that person seems to hate humans and it’s true that he’s incredibly scary, but that’s because he has many wounds. In truth, he’s a kind person…!”
I know. I probably know best. That’s why I was asking this favor. I thought that if our bodies grew distant, our hearts might grow distant too. But that was the same for everyone here. It seemed better to prepare to leave before those who treated me kindly became more attached to me. I was vaguely feeling it. That I didn’t have much time left. As I just smiled without answering, the fish who had been listening to the conversation from the side flinched with serious eyes.
“And please hire another trustworthy part-timer. Someone with good hand skills.”
“What…? Sol-ah. Why are you….”
I only felt sorry. After saying I’d work for a long time, and after being absent so often like this, the fact that I had to quit.
“Please.”
The eyes of those looking at me wavered. With a sheepish smile at their shocked eyes, I tidied up the cups. I was just pretending to work to deliberately avoid eye contact. If I met their eyes, I felt like my heart would weaken. No… actually, I felt like I would break down.
Ttalang.
As soon as the words ended, the door opened and Bihyeon appeared with an appropriate smile on his lips as always. Perhaps he came from work, it was a suit attire I was seeing after a long time. As if he would grant my request, the boss looked at me and nodded with determined eyes. I smiled at that, then deliberately didn’t look back and entered the kitchen in the back. After appropriately finding work to do, I leaned against the wall and exhaled long. My chest throbbed and felt queasy and painful, making me feel like I would cry. I could hear the conversation taking orders in front, and my heart pounded.
‘How much time do I have left?’
I slowly looked down at my hands. At the fingertips that appeared transparent whenever I was alone, I clenched my fist tightly and squeezed my eyes shut. Should I go find my aunt? No. I could instinctively know just this much. Even if I found my aunt and lifted the curse, my life wouldn’t extend. Rather, I’d be fortunate if I wasn’t caught. Thinking about it now, what happened to me when I was young was probably an action by my aunt to offer me to an evil god. Even if not, my soul was certainly used for something bad.
‘Then my parents’ accident?’
Didn’t I vaguely suspect even then that it might be something my aunt did? It wasn’t just a simple feeling. It was because I had coincidentally heard the phone call my aunt made the day before the accident. What I coincidentally heard was “Is it ready? Make sure everything goes without a hitch…” but perhaps the next part was telling them to kill. At first, I thought there was no way my aunt would do that no matter what, but now it was different. Because I had seen the past, I was now starting to have some certainty. And at the same time, a question arose.
Why did my aunt have to kill us?
“Sol-ah. He left.”
I was frowning and lost in thought when I came to my senses hearing the boss’s voice.
“Thank you. And I’m sorry.”
“What is there to be sorry about? You must have your reasons for it. You’re not the kind of kid to do that for no reason.”
The boss, who had been hesitating, came closer to me and held my hand tightly.
“I’m just worried. If something is going on, please tell me. I won’t be of much help, but if there’s anything I can help with, I’ll help with anything.”
“Thank you. Really….”
It was an eye that sincerely worried about me. I smiled hard because I felt like I would burst into tears.
“Thank you, boss.”
I checked the time. Perhaps because he was concerned about me, even though it was long past the time to leave work, the boss didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving.
“You should leave work. I’m fine, so please go and rest.”
When I forcibly pushed his back, he resisted at first but eventually greeted me saying he’d come early in the morning, and he left the cafe.
