Even if all of it were a dream, there was nothing Ido could do about it. But he just hoped that when he suddenly woke from this dream, it wouldn’t be in that demon-like man’s room. Ido furrowed his brow slightly as he recalled Wookyung’s appearance crushing the man and beating his face as if to kill him.
It had been while he was held in the man’s powerful grip, moaning with his face shoved into a dog bowl. Like a lie, there was the sound of a door breaking, the man jumped up in shock, and then…
The sandalwood scent engraved so sadly in his heart hit his nose sharply.
‘…Ido-ya.’
For an instant, time stopped. Through his nose bleeding from being beaten by the man, Lee Jeong took a deep breath. The sandalwood scent filling his nose richly was not a mistake. Along with the low, gentle voice so heartbreakingly earnest it hurt to hear.
The man who had been beating and humiliating him until just moments ago was captured far too easily in his hands. With just a few punches from Wookyung, the man fainted absurdly easily.
‘Ido-ya…’
Wookyung’s legs moved quickly toward him. Throwing aside the man he’d been holding, Wookyung ran over in a single step and collapsed. At the same time, burning hot warmth touched his body that had grown cold. Only then did Lee Jeong realize he’d been trembling terribly.
“Ido-ya, I was wrong. I, I was too late. Ido-ya, Ido-ya…”
Only then did Ido slowly raise his head.
Not the cheap fake name that rose from the mouths of many men, but the single person who called his real name that had now disappeared from the world.
That person was before him.
It was a face he’d longed for even in dreams. A person who appeared in his dreams too many times but never once stayed with him until the end of the dream, a cruel person. While dreaming in hazy sleep, he’d show him that handsome face to his heart’s content, but when he opened his eyes, he’d disappear like smoke. He was such a warm person, yet had never once lent him that warmth until now.
Could this also be a dream?
‘…Ah… ah.’
Unable to grasp reality, Ido muttered like a fool. No, it was almost closer to a single-syllable moan. He put all his strength into his trembling vision and glared at the man standing before him. If it was a dream, he’d rather wake up quickly.
But the dream didn’t easily break. Wookyung’s thick thumb approached and slowly stroked his nose and mouth. His finger was trembling miserably. The sensation touching his face was clearly the touch of a person who actually existed.
It’s not a dream. It’s real, it’s real.
Ido muttered like that in his dazed mind.
‘I’m sorry, Ido-ya… I… I have nothing to say to you. I… I was wrong.’
The hand trembling severely traced Ido’s wounds carefully. And with his trembling bare hand, he touched his split lip. However, under the intensely shooting gaze, Ido couldn’t meet his eyes. He turned his head sharply to the side.
As soon as he realized it wasn’t a dream, what rose up unexpectedly wasn’t the longing that had been piled up layer by layer, but a sense of rejection toward him.
‘It was hard, wasn’t it. It was hard all this time. I, I’m sorry. Ido-ya, Yoon Ido…’
His heavy forehead dropped onto his forehead with a thud. His warmth was so burning hot like a flame it hurt his heart. From Wookyung’s mouth, unable to continue his words, came a sob. His chest heaved greatly as he bit his lip hard. Clear water fell from his eyes and dampened his clothes.
He couldn’t continue speaking. With trembling lips, he only repeated the same words, unable to dare bring out all the emotions welled up inside.
How could they reunite with just a few words? For that, the time piled up between the two people had been honed as much as the years that passed, and again honed, possessing an edge far too sharp and painful. The more the two people tried to come together, the double-edged sword placed between them cut into their skin and left wounds. Neither apologies, nor words that it’s okay, nor words that they’d missed each other—no one could carelessly bring them out.
‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry… you must hate me a lot. But Ido-ya. Even if you hate me… let’s get out of here first. Okay?’
‘……’
How strange. Until just before, he’d wanted to jump out the window if it meant he could get out of this place. But strangely, he hesitated to take the large, solid hand extended before him. Seeing Ido not taking the outstretched hand while frozen, Wookyung bit his lip hard.
‘You need… treatment, don’t you. You’re… you’re hurt so badly…’
Wookyung pressed his forehead against Ido’s as if pleading. But Ido couldn’t easily accept that warmth.
If asked whether he no longer loved him, he still loved him. So much that it was too much to contain in his small body. No, his love had never once gone out until now. The embers he thought had all extinguished surged up from underground upon seeing his face, creating a huge flame. It was a heat that took his breath away.
Despite this, he couldn’t easily nestle into Wookyung. The wall blocking him and Wookyung was higher and more solid than he thought. Even though he wanted to jump into his arms right now and entrust his exhausted body and soul to rest, the wall created by emotions piled up layer by layer kept making Ido hesitate.
The day he’d realized through conversations among men that he’d been abandoned by Wookyung, the bitterly cold alcohol and sharp glass shards that had touched his cheek. The countless nights he’d trembled in fear after learning he was pregnant. The anxiety and the pain in the surgical area that felt like being seared with a heated knife on the day he gave birth alone without him. The day he left Dokyung in front of the facility in the cold and turned away, the memory of crying in grief, and even the memory of losing his speech.
All of those were past events while also being his current self. They weren’t memories he could easily bury in his heart and move past. He was still standing, directly facing the cold winter wind.
His absence had been far too great a loss for Ido. From the beginning, the space he’d left was so large and deep that he wondered how he’d lived a life without him. Left alone, Ido had been emptied out with only his shell remaining.
It had been hard enough just enduring the loss of Wookyung. However, he had plunged Ido into despair once more.
‘Ah, this… it’s a photo Father sent, telling Oppa to go on a blind date.’
He wasn’t content with forgetting him and living well, but was looking for someone new to make a fresh start. The existence of him and his son appearing like baggage at this timing couldn’t have been welcome.
He was originally a kind person. He probably heard from Yoonkyung that he’d disappeared and rushed to save him. Even though he was no longer in his heart. Even if the existence of him and his son that he learned of belatedly had already become bothersome. Because the ‘pitiful omega doing night work and his son’ being cared for by his younger sister was pitiful, he came to save him.
‘Sob…’
The pitiful crying wouldn’t stop. Like something broken somewhere in his head, the tears that began flowing didn’t stop even while riding in the car with him. His heart was still burning hot and painfully like the midday of summer, but Wookyung’s heart must have cooled lukewarmly like the evening sunlight. The unequal temperatures of their hearts felt so unbearably sad in that moment.
“Haa…”
Letting out a long sigh, Ido weakly shook his head.
Let’s stop these useless thoughts here. No matter how much he struggled, no matter how much he threw a childish tantrum saying he didn’t want this, the reality he faced wouldn’t change.
Wookyung would now make a new start unlike him. And the wounds he’d received were still ongoing.
What else was left between the two of them besides these two facts?
It was time to wake from this comfort that was now only an illusion. It was time to leave this place sweet and soft as a dream and return to his cold, hard reality. Ido, who had been repeatedly checking the clock worried he might be late, sluggishly raised his body. He needed to get up soon to match Dokyung’s dismissal time.
Normally, he would have had to go to work at Yeodanhwa by six o’clock. And since it seemed better for Dokyung to eat the afternoon snack and dinner at daycare rather than what he could provide with their meager means, he always had him eat dinner before dismissal. And conveniently, Yoonkyung’s center wasn’t far from Dokyung’s daycare. So Yoonkyung, whose work ended around six, often picked up Dokyung and left work together.
It was a little before three o’clock now, so dismissal wasn’t urgent. But Ido wanted to see Dokyung quickly. Anyway, his face was beaten to a mess so he couldn’t receive customers with this face. And since the Manager had seen him being dragged away this morning, he thought she might let him rest for today. So today he planned to pick up Dokyung at four o’clock when the other children were dismissed and go home to rest.
It was the moment he tried to fully stand up from the bed while making such plans.
“Uk…”
A groan came out involuntarily. It was natural since that well-built man had beaten him so hard. The man’s crazed face still flickered vividly before his eyes. Ido squeezed his eyelids shut to erase the hellish afterimage. Then he gritted his teeth, threw off the blanket, and raised his body.
The door opened with good timing. Rather than coincidence, it seemed he’d been standing in front of the door and came in immediately upon hearing Ido’s groan. Wookyung stood hesitantly in the doorway holding something on a tray. The sight of him unable to enter easily and hesitating was clearly someone watching his mood.
He withdrew his gaze that had been directed at the doorway and turned it back toward his knees as he sat on the bed. Whether he was hurt that Ido wouldn’t even glance at his face in the end, Wookyung carefully approached the bedside.
A hot and warm smell wafted over. Even without turning his eyes to look at the tray, he could tell what the food was. He recalled his own voice from long ago when he clumsily confessed his feelings to Wookyung with this in front of him.
‘Who’s going to feed me kongnamul gukbap if you’re not around, Team Leader?’
Ido painfully swallowed saliva that tasted of blood. The emotion that surged first was resentment toward him for carelessly bringing up memories that must have been difficult for him to retrieve, just to try to change his heart.
Why are you doing this to me? There’s no need to be this kind. There’s no need to go this far when I’m drawing a line. Whether I eat or not has nothing to do with you. Just rescuing me from there was enough of what you needed to do.
I’m nothing to you now…
He hid the boiling sadness behind his throat. Familiarly, as always. But he couldn’t hide the pain he felt while hiding his sadness. The red flesh caught between his teeth trembled violently and then burst with a pop.
Thick fingers hurriedly entered his field of vision and headed toward his lips.
“Don’t bite. I’m sorry. …For bringing this so suddenly, I’m sorry. Please… don’t do that.”
