Once the deadline was set, what needed to be done became clearly visible.
The first thing to do was learn imperial etiquette. If I didn’t properly master etiquette, it would also be impossible to stick by Deus’s side on the day of the birthday celebration to prevent mistakes, so I stayed up all night reading all the etiquette guides the Head Butler had brought.
It wasn’t just for Deus’s sake. In the original work, Ash was an adopted child so he hadn’t received proper aristocratic education. That’s why at official occasions where he appeared, he was often evaluated as lacking compared to his other siblings. I rubbed my stiff eyelids with the back of my hand to chase away sleep.
‘It was a bit mortifying, but Deus was right. Ash has no particular talents and weak stamina. So I have to work as hard as possible in the areas where I can make an effort.’
Deus was capricious. If I just trusted Deus’s words and prepared nothing, I would surely regret it. I sighed looking at the mountain of books that seemed endless no matter how much I read.
‘I hope the tutor problem at least gets resolved well.’
In the original work, what the Empress who held real power within the imperial palace was pushing as the next emperor was the Second Prince, Nairn. Officially, he was said to be a child she had late with the Emperor, but rumors were rampant that he was an illegitimate child made with her lover while the Emperor was collapsed from illness.
Regardless of the truth, the moment the still-young Nairn became emperor, the Empress’s power would surely become even stronger. Because she would attempt a regency.
Even after the first tutor ran away, several tutors came for interviews. Just as I was relieved thinking the work had lessened, I somehow noticed that for tutors supposedly sent directly by the imperial household, they were uniformly low-level.
There were two things that could be inferred.
First was that the expectations the imperial household currently had for Deus were remarkably low, and second was that there was a force within the imperial household checking Deus.
‘It means checking if he’s a useful card, but not making him stand out more than the cards they have.’
The Empress was a cruel and clever woman. For perfect victory, she wouldn’t hesitate even at despicable acts. So I had to prove it as soon as possible in front of everyone. That Deus had the qualities to become emperor.
My gaze went to the unfinished letter. After pondering, I picked up the pen again and wrote a simple greeting. That I had safely arrived at the Detached Palace, and that I was relieved the Crown Prince’s Madness was showing improvement.
In the process, I almost died trapped in the Void, lost my chastity, and lost more weight…… I didn’t bother writing that. I didn’t want to be treated as a troublesome child by making him worry unnecessarily. After finishing the simple greeting, I immediately wrote the main point.
[Father, I am currently seeking a tutor of trustworthy caliber, but my discernment has its limits, so I wish to borrow your discernment. I know you are busy and this may be troublesome, but I cautiously ask if you could introduce a suitable talent.]
In this world, tutors employed by aristocratic families were treated differently from ordinary tutors.
First, due to the nature of aristocrats who valued appearances, they had to be tight-lipped, and not just in etiquette but diplomacy, languages, martial arts, etc. Because they had to be excellent in various fields, in the case of skilled teachers, most were already employed with exclusive contracts to aristocratic families.
Therefore, in the current situation with only 3 weeks left until the birthday celebration, it was nearly impossible to find a good tutor with only my own strength.
The problem was that the Serpents were a family with particularly high enthusiasm for education even among aristocratic families. So they were extremely reluctant to leak their family’s exclusive tutors outside.
‘The probability of being refused is higher…… but I still want to try something.’
After finishing the letter, I sealed it. Then I ordered one of the servants to run to the Serpent family’s mansion right now and deliver the letter.
However, I emphasized one thing without fail. That this letter must be delivered to Lucius, not anyone else. If this was violated, I ordered that they would serve the Crown Prince alone for three days and nights, and their face turned pale as they nodded saying they would do so.
‘This should be enough for today.’
After closing the last remaining book on the desk, I stretched. After repeatedly sleeping briefly and waking up for several days, I felt like I’d faint the moment I laid my head anywhere. I yawned widely and climbed onto the bed. It was when I closed my eyes thinking to sleep just a bit and start again.
“Ash.”
I opened my eyes expressionlessly at the familiar voice heard from beside my pillow. Deus, who I didn’t even know when he’d started standing there, was looking down at me with a pillow tucked under his side. I sighed and muttered.
“……I definitely locked the door, how did you get in?”
“Why haven’t you even looked at me for days?”
“……”
“I said I was sorry about that prank. And that wasn’t me. The black impulse inside me……”
“Don’t be ridiculous! How is that a prank? Do you want to die?”
Even thinking about it now, the chilling memory passed before my eyes.
Was it the day before yesterday? I’d been reading a book on the sofa and dozed off. When I woke up, my pants were down to my knees, and Deus was right before cutting off one of my balls with embroidery scissors.
I realized for the first time then that when a person is gripped by extreme fear, not even a scream comes out. Deus, who had been indifferent even to my reaction of fuming with rage, laughed weakly.
“They say…… there are lots of baby seeds in balls. That’s why you can make someone pregnant.”
“……”
“After learning that, I couldn’t sleep a wink. You never know, Ash might betray me and fuck a maid. Anyway, she has something called a dick attached too……”
“What on earth are you talking about.”
I forced my tired body up and sat straight. I glared at Deus and said coldly.
“Do you see me as someone who can’t perform as a man just because I slept with you? I’ll naturally marry the young lady my family arranged. I won’t be doing this with you forever.”
“Ash can’t have children?”
“Of course I can’t, if I could have them, could you have them too?”
After cooling the anger that had briefly boiled up, I lay down with my back to Deus. I was tired, and since he wasn’t someone who would leave even if I told him to anyway, I just wanted to fall asleep quickly.
‘Whether you cut off my balls or my dick, do as you please.’
Just as I was trying hard to sleep, ignoring the presence felt behind me, with a ‘creak’ sound, the sheet sank down. Strong arms naturally embraced my waist.
“Then what if I ask the Primordial Evil……”
“……”
“To make Ash have my child?”
The eyes I’d finally closed slowly opened. I turned my head slightly to look at Deus. I saw Deus staring at me with eyes devoid of light. I suppressed my pounding heart and opened my mouth.
“What’s the use of having a child if I die?”
“I can make anything in the Void, even bodies. But what’s made in the Void can’t leave the Void.”
“……”
“So I’ll bring dead Ash’s soul and plant it in a body I made…… and you’ll live with me in the Void forever. Together with the child in your belly.”
Deus’s hand that had been embracing my waist covered below my navel. It would be fortunate if this was the usual frivolous joke, but if that was serious, I would have to live with Deus in the Void I could never escape for my entire life. Even while pregnant with a child.
Why didn’t I think of that? Just as I have a desire to survive, Deus also has separate desires.
I answered with my fist clenched tight.
“At first I thought it might be possible, even if not the way you expect. I thought it might be possible to like you as a friend.”
“……”
“But not anymore. I hate you too much. I hate you enough that I don’t even want to be friends. You’re constantly scary and unfamiliar. A monster like you……”
I could never like.
I barely swallowed the rest of the words that had risen to my throat. I caught my agitated breath and clamped my mouth shut. A chilling voice came back from behind.
“A monster?”
“……”
“You seem to be mistaken about something, but the one you need to beg for your life isn’t the Primordial Evil. Even if you save your life through that wish, from now on you’ll have to live by my side for your entire life.”
With a swish, my vision spun and the crossed view soon met. I silently glared at Deus who was gripping my wrist painfully tight. When I tried to shake off his hand, he rather pulled my arm to embrace me closely.
“Don’t you understand what that means?”
“Let go.”
“You sold your first night to me in exchange for your life.”
With a spin, along with the feeling of my vision whirling, indescribable anger consumed my reason. I roughly pushed Deus’s shoulder and got up. I’d rather sleep on the street than share a bed with that bastard for even a single moment.
The moment I tried to leave turning the doorknob, my shoulder was grabbed. The instant my body was turned, I struck Deus’s cheek with my fist. I spoke in a trembling voice toward Deus who stood still with his face turned.
“I never tried to sell it, you raped me on your own. If that kind of act was the price for my life, I wouldn’t have brought you back from there.”
“……”
“Without even knowing what feelings I’m enduring with, why……”
The tears I’d held back fell plop plop on the floor. Fear and humiliation swept over me all at once and my head hurt. Deus, who had been looking at me expressionlessly, approached and cupped my cheeks with both hands. Then he lifted my face to make me look at him. His eyes that had briefly flickered with regret soon filled with amusement.
“So?”
My lips parted slightly. A heartless voice pierced my ears as I let out an empty laugh.
“What does that have to do with me?”
After finishing speaking, Deus slammed the door behind me hard. With a bang, I could hear the maids waiting outside holding their breath. Deus, who didn’t take his eyes off my face, said.
“Bring alcohol.”
I could hear the footsteps of the maids waiting outside becoming hurried. At Deus’s action of trying to kiss me, I turned my head to the opposite side. Deus, who laughed quietly, lightly tapped my feet with his own foot.
“Do whatever you want to do to your heart’s content.”
With a click, the door opened. A maid with an expression clearly showing nervousness delivered the alcohol and left the room again.
Deus, who still didn’t take his eyes off my face, held alcohol in his mouth and kissed me again. I tried to avoid it, but this time he was gripping my hair so I couldn’t turn my head at all, and I had no choice but to drink the strong alcohol.
Perhaps because the inside of Deus’s mouth had burst, the alcohol tasted of fishy blood. The scoundrel who kissed the nape of my neck burning from the alcohol whispered in a low voice.
“Because I’ll have all of that too.”
