Hyung-nim has been a well-known workaholic from way back, so this was the first time in my life hearing something like this.
I don’t know what it was, but somehow that happened. Then it meant spending time with hyung-nim today was impossible too.
“So when are you leaving?”
“After watching Hajin eat.”
Gasp, I need to eat quickly. I hurriedly shoved rice into my mouth.
I slurped up the soup too. Honestly, the bean sprout soup hyung-nim made was a little bland. Nevertheless, every time I scooped up the soup, I gave hyung-nim a thumbs up.
But today especially, hyung-nim didn’t react much and looked at me with strange eyes. Should I say they were eyes with a complicated state of mind?
Normally he should be looking at me with satisfaction knowing his cooking is delicious…
“After hyung-nim finishes being busy, can’t we go to an amusement park together? It’s on my list…”
Still, I felt good having breakfast with hyung-nim for the first time in a while. When I waited for an answer with my heart racing, hyung-nim stared at me intently for a moment.
“Later.”
It was an answer that came back after a long while. I’d been hoping inwardly, so I was a little dejected.
After I finished eating and was clearing the dishes, hyung-nim really must have been busy with work because he came out having changed clothes. I don’t know what work he threw aside yesterday, but it must have been urgent. It’s already been three weeks, and every weekend is really too much.
Just then, buzz buzz, my phone rang.
**English Lit Lee Taehyung**
Hajin, did you get home okay yesterday?
I got Minji’s number yesterday haha
Make sure to tell hyung-nim I’m really grateful for yesterday!!
It was a message from Lee Taehyung, and there were memories that flashed through my mind in that moment.
“Huh?”
Somehow I felt like I knew where hyung-nim went after throwing aside his work last night.
At the same time, I remembered the moment hyung-nim came to pick me up. That moment when he gave me strawberry milk and safely brought me to the car when I couldn’t walk well.
Thinking about how I got home, hyung-nim came to pick me up himself. He even bought me milk.
When I scrolled up in the chat room, there were photos taken with the girls last night, and DMs saying yesterday was fun had also come. It felt like I’d made new friends.
“I’ll probably be busy continuously until this weekend. There’s an important trial Monday morning.”
Hyung-nim holding his jacket seemed to have already finished preparing. I quickly followed behind hyung-nim heading to the entrance holding his car keys.
“Hyung-nim, I’ll see you off.”
“……”
What’s with this silence?
“I did something wrong to hyung-nim yesterday too… so I want to.”
Hyung-nim, who had stopped for a moment, was looking at me quizzically. While doing so, his gaze gradually rose and stopped at my head.
When I touched my head at that look, my hair was sticking out wildly here and there. I’ve been like this since earlier!
“I-it doesn’t matter up to the elevator, right?”
When I said this while touching my hair here and there, hyung-nim chuckled. As if to say, who said anything?
I followed hyung-nim around again. Somehow I wanted to today. Was it because I liked the morning we spent together after so long?
I wish the elevator would come as late as possible.
When I glanced over, the elevator was still coming up from the lower floors. I unnecessarily stuck close to hyung-nim’s side and kept sneaking glances at his face.
Come to think of it, I’ve been going for a somewhat dark concept lately. I bit my lower lip firmly.
Hyung-nim’s affection was an irresistible force I couldn’t help but be drawn to even knowing it.
I was really trying not to waver anymore. I’ve always been weak to the weighty affection hyung-nim shows like this. I shouldn’t like him, I have to stop. All the resolutions I’d built up like that crumbled helplessly.
“See me off only up to here. It’s cold outside.”
“…Yes.”
To firmly say it’s cold outside, when final exams are approaching and spring energy is so prevalent that early summer is approaching. As expected, hyung-nim’s warmth keeps shaking me.
While looking at my phone earlier, I suddenly had that thought.
That I really did well going to the meetup yesterday.
Deciding to go to the meetup was because of momentary resentment toward hyung-nim. I was hurt by the words to meet people my age and decided with a dark heart, and even when I went, I was actually quite gloomy.
But as a result, it wasn’t a bad experience. No, it was rather enjoyable.
Above all, yesterday hyung-nim came to pick me up even while angry, paid for the drinks, and all things considered, didn’t scold me much. Rather, he carved out his busy time to even prepare breakfast.
I stole condoms, must have thrown drunken tantrums all evening, and lately I’ve only caused trouble and don’t think I’ve done a single pretty thing…
Ding-. A moment later, the elevator door opened. Taking the opportunity, I quickly opened my mouth.
“Hyung-nim, you know what?”
It was when hyung-nim stepped into the elevator.
“I remembered.”
“……”
At my words, hyung-nim noticeably flinched.
“You… remembered?”
“Yes! Last night.”
Seeing his surprised gaze, I smiled brightly. I also nodded my head vigorously.
“Thank you for yesterday, hyung-nim.”
But hyung-nim’s expression was a little strange. As if trying hard to discern the hidden meaning in my words, he stared at me intently.
“Of course it’s a bit embarrassing…”
“……”
“I had a lot of fun.”
No matter how much hyung-nim doesn’t know my heart, he was still such a warm person to me. Just because I had twisted thoughts doesn’t mean I could resent even what happened yesterday.
Meanwhile, the furrow between hyung-nim’s brows was getting deeper and deeper, little by little. I tilted my head.
But the elevator door was slowly closing.
It was the moment when hyung-nim, who had been frozen, was about to say something.
Thud.
Just like that, hyung-nim disappeared.
***
The weekend passed quickly. All weekend long, hyung-nim said he was busy preparing for the trial, yet in the midst of that, he would suddenly call out of the blue.
– Hajin-ah, you said you had fun and were grateful. Can you explain what that means?
“Huh? What was fun…”
He kept asking in detail what was fun, so I naturally answered that the meetup was fun.
– Then what did you mean by grateful?
“Huh? That’s obviously because I received a lot of help from hyung-nim yesterday.”
– Ha, so, that’s… I’ll call you back.
After that, another call came. He interrogated me about what “grateful” meant, so I said I was thankful he came to pick me up.
“You paid for the drinks, came to pick me up, bought me strawberry milk… so of course I’m very grateful.”
– That’s really all you meant? There wasn’t any other meaning?
“What other meaning would there be?”
– This is confusing, really.
What on earth is confusing? I just said thank you because I was grateful!
For some reason, hyung-nim wouldn’t take my words at face value. It seemed my wild colt image after coming to university had greatly affected hyung-nim too.
– Now that I see it, Hajin doesn’t seem to be the trustworthy type at all.
“Hyung-nim, when did you say I had a trustworthy face?”
No matter how much of a troublemaker I was yesterday, at this point I was starting to feel wronged too.
“You said at the hair salon that I have an innocent look that gives people trust rather than being flashy, so I absolutely can’t have loud hair color?”
I still couldn’t forget the shame I had to endure at the hair salon back then.
– What good is it if you just look innocent and neat and pretty on the outside? I can’t predict at all what you’re thinking inside or what kind of thing you’ll suddenly do. That’s originally the scariest thing, Hajin-ah.
“Well, normally maybe, but isn’t hyung-nim being too suspicious right now? That’s what I think?”
I was really grateful so I said thank you, yet what on earth is he suspicious about? I stubbornly waited for the words that would follow.
– Alright. I’ll believe what Hajin says. Right now I have no other choice.
In the end, hyung-nim sighed. Only after a long argument did hyung-nim withdraw his suspicions about me.
“But hyung-nim, I also got curious about something.”
– Yeah, what is it?
It was a thought that suddenly occurred while arguing with hyung-nim. I was grateful, but how did hyung-nim get there yesterday?
Actually, even while asking, I didn’t think it was a difficult question. Well, I must have told him. Thinking that, I opened my mouth.
“How did you know I was there yesterday?”
– …….
But, for some reason, silence flowed.
