The person who had been sitting next to me the whole time was my classmate Park Seyeon.
This… sounds like something I’ve heard somewhere before…….
As I listened to the voice speaking quietly while covering their mouth, hyung-nim’s words flashed through my mind.
“So what would Hajin do if some alpha sunbae offers to buy you ice cream late at night and suggests you go eat it together, just the two of you?”
“Uh…… wouldn’t it be fine to go eat it together?”
“Why? Don’t tell me you actually want ice cream that badly?”
After that, he’d lectured me about how it was troublesome that I was ambiguously innocent.
There was one problem. I only remembered “don’t go if an alpha sunbae offers to buy you ice cream,” but I couldn’t actually remember what the reason was.
But Park Seyeon wasn’t an alpha sunbae, they were my classmate. More than anything, I actually wanted ice cream.
“Mmhm, okay.”
I nodded. Then I toddled along after Park Seyeon, who was leading the way.
The convenience store on the lower floor of the pension didn’t have many kinds of ice cream. Park Seyeon, who quickly paid for two melon-flavored ice creams, handed one to me.
“Oh, I could have paid……”
“You don’t have your wallet right now, dummy.”
“Huh, that’s right. Where’s my phone?”
Come to think of it, I didn’t have anything in my hands or pockets. Watching me fumble through my pockets, Seyeon laughed playfully.
While doing so, they pulled something out of their hoodie pocket—it was actually my phone! I couldn’t contain my surprise.
“How did you……”
“How what. You didn’t grab it when you got up earlier, so I picked it up.”
“Ah! Thanks, Seyeon-ah.”
I quickly took my phone. After that, we decided to walk outside the convenience store while eating our ice cream.
Actually, until I got drunk, I’d been deliberately keeping my phone away.
Because while I was here, I’d decided to do the push-and-pull thing with hyung-nim. But now that the phone was in my hand, I couldn’t resist at all.
It would be okay just to check, right?
I sneakily checked to see if there were any messages from hyung-nim. This was the first time checking since I’d sent him a photo of the scenery outside the train earlier.
Yoo Jeongwoo hyung-nim: I’m glad the weather’s nice today.
Yoo Jeongwoo hyung-nim: Have fun.^^
Yoo Jeongwoo hyung-nim: Be careful not to get cold when you sleep.
All the messages that appeared in the notification window were thoughtful like this.
Hehe…… Looking at the messages, I found myself smiling like an idiot.
“Oh right, I filmed you dancing earlier.”
“Huh?”
“Look at this. Did I film it well?”
Just then, another phone screen suddenly entered my field of vision. It was a video filmed with me dancing earlier, zoomed in.
Must have been filmed near the end—I struck an awkward ending pose, covered my face and stepped back, and Han Seoyoung, who happened to be there, smiled brightly and patted me. It looked like I was being embraced.
So that’s what I did. I’d been so out of it that I didn’t remember, so seeing myself like this felt unfamiliar.
“It came out really cute, right? Can I post this? I only have close friends as followers.”
I blinked, then nodded vacantly.
“Yeah.”
“What’s your account? I’ll tag you when I post it.”
So we followed each other and added tags. Not long after the photo was posted, several comments presumably from classmates immediately appeared.
Where is everyone looking at their phones?
The spring night air was still cold. Eating ice cream under the streetlights while getting hit by the cold wind, I felt like I was sobering up a little.
“Hey, our classmates said you don’t have a lover, is that true?”
“Huh? Yeah. I don’t have a lover.”
“Then what do you think about dating a beta? I mean, I’m not asking because I’m curious…… I just heard the Korean Literature students seemed curious earlier. I overheard their conversation. They said you’re cute too.”
Even as I listened to the additional explanation, I blinked vacantly. Maybe because my head was foggy, I didn’t really understand the question. What do I think about dating a beta?
“You know, there’s that saying that alphas should meet omegas, and omegas should meet alphas. I’m a beta so I don’t really know, but I was wondering what you think. Almost everyone around me is beta.”
“Aha.”
I hesitated for a moment, then slowly shook my head.
“I think that doesn’t matter.”
The words came out of my mouth naturally. For me, that question was a problem with a very clear answer.
Because…… I don’t like Jeongwoo hyung-nim because he’s an alpha either.
I like him because he’s hyung-nim.
Like how you don’t need to learn how to breathe, liking hyung-nim was something I’d always done, something natural. Even before I knew what alphas and omegas were, I liked hyung-nim the most in the world.
Because of that, I couldn’t even imagine myself not liking hyung-nim.
I probably won’t be able to give up on hyung-nim until I die. It would be nice if I could try doing something before that happens…….
“I see. There must be some people who like you?”
“No way, how could I…… No, absolutely not.”
The unfamiliar words embarrassed me. Not knowing how to react, I shook my head wildly while holding my ice cream.
“You’re really cute.”
Park Seyeon burst out laughing as if teasing me was fun.
“Ugh, it’s getting cold now. Are you going to keep walking? Or do you want to go back in and drink more?”
“I want to walk a bit more. If you’re cold, I’ll walk you back.”
“Okay. Don’t forget about the ice cream tomorrow.”
“Okay! Thanks.”
After walking my friend back to the pension, I walked along the path outside the pension again.
The floating feeling from earlier had calmed down quite a bit. Still, my steps swayed slightly. When I looked up at the sky, the stars were swaying.
The wind was cold, and the stars were brighter than I thought.
When I reached a secluded pavilion, I crouched down on the shoulder of the road. Honestly, sitting alone in the dim pavilion was a bit scary. It felt like something might suddenly jump out.
I took out my phone, thinking of the reply hyung-nim had sent earlier.
“Why is the world suddenly moving so slowly?”
Or was it my hand that was slow? The slowly turning-on background screen came into view.
It was a rosemary leaf that had been decoratively placed in the rosemary tea hyung-nim had bought me. I’d taken it out after finishing the tea and photographed it, and in the corner of the photo, hyung-nim’s arm was slightly visible too.
Hyung-nim’s arm, with his shirt sleeves rolled up.
“I miss hyung-nim.”
I clearly saw him this morning before leaving, so why do I miss him so much?
Maybe it’s because I drank, but the longing felt like it was rising up to my throat. My fingers, which had moved slowly even when I tried to move them quickly earlier, now automatically headed toward the phone icon on their own.
“Oh right, the push-and-pull……”
Come to think of it, I decided to do push-and-pull earlier. It’s only been half a day since I promised Choi Jihwan.
Actually, since coming to the MT today, I hadn’t contacted hyung-nim at all and hadn’t used hyung-nim’s card either. That meant hyung-nim had absolutely no way of knowing what I was doing all this time.
Then is hyung-nim thinking of me? Not as much as I am, but even just a little bit.
While looking at the night sky, suddenly wondering what I might be doing, unnecessarily going in and out of the chat room in case he missed my message, hesitating while trying to send a new message.
“Of course only I do those things, what am I even saying.”
Finding myself wishing for something so absurd, a hollow laugh escaped. I buried my head in my knees.
I hadn’t entered the chat room with hyung-nim even after seeing the notification that rang earlier, because I knew I’d definitely reply the moment I entered our conversation.
“Does this even count as push-and-pull?”
Could I even do push-and-pull with hyung-nim in the first place?
I just stared at the innocent phone screen with narrowed eyes. There was a reply from hyung-nim, but that was the reply I’d received earlier on the train.
As expected, hyung-nim hadn’t contacted me any further after that. He still hasn’t thought of me even once.
It was already past ten o’clock. Even if he had work until late, it would be time to go home by now. To think he still hasn’t thought of the person he shares meals with.
“……It does seem like push-and-pull is necessary.”
I really won’t contact him until tomorrow.
I decided to turn off my phone.
Maybe because I was drunk, it seemed like some notification flashed on the screen for a moment.
However, in the moment I hesitated, my phone had already turned off.
