# Chapter 83
His mind was gradually becoming clearer, as if he had calmed down. Kay spoke in a much lighter voice than before.
“Then is it possible that my body might not wake up?”
“This is Boss’s first time using Revive too. I didn’t even know he had such an ability.”
Fenil pondered Kay’s question before nodding. According to what she had heard from Boss, his ability was limited to ‘reviving.’ Since opening one’s eyes was beyond the scope of his ability, she couldn’t be certain that Kay would wake up.
“I see…”
Kay fell into thought upon hearing this. Then, as if recalling something, gentle ripples began to stir in his calm eyes.
Watching Kay lost in contemplation, Fenil carefully opened her mouth.
“Do you have any desire to leave this place?”
At the mention of leaving, his fingers twitched. Noticing his unexpected reaction, Fenil observed his response. His tightly closed lips opened slightly, uttering ambiguous words.
“Are you telling me to escape?”
“Yes, I’ll tell Boss eventually, but I think getting you out first is the priority.”
Fenil naturally assumed Kay would want to escape. He had spent about three weeks here. Life in this underground prison was so horrific it would be no exaggeration to call it hell. Enduring three weeks in such a place was no easy feat. In fact, Kay was the only one who had managed to hold out for so long. The rest either died or went insane, one of the two.
Of course, it was possible because he wasn’t brought here for information and he received medical treatment, but it didn’t change the fact that he had gone through something tremendously difficult. But even Kay must be at his limit by now. She wanted to get him out as soon as possible.
“I don’t intend to escape.”
“What?”
Contrary to Fenil’s expectation, Kay gave the opposite answer. She asked him again, thinking she might have misheard, but the result was the same. Her mind was filled with Kay’s incomprehensible words. Though he was aware of her bewildered reaction, Kay chose to evade explanation rather than explaining the reason to Fenil.
“…Instead, I have a few favors to ask. Can you grant them?”
“Just tell me. I’ll do anything.”
Regaining her senses at the mention of a favor, she silently waited for his next words. If it was Kay’s request, she was willing to comply no matter how difficult.
Kay seemed to hesitate momentarily, then, as if having made up his mind, spoke with a voice filled with firm resolve.
“Please don’t tell Boss about this.”
“Why?”
“I just… want it that way.”
As he again failed to give a precise reason, Fenil couldn’t shake the strange feeling. But she didn’t voice her inner thoughts. There were things she had done that made her hesitate to ask further. She had no choice but to let it slide for now.
“…Alright.”
Kay bowed his head in gratitude as she nodded calmly in agreement.
“And could you give me a knife?”
“Here. This should be small enough to hide in your hand.”
“Thank you.”
Thinking he was preparing for a possible change of heart, she handed over the knife she always carried without much suspicion. The small dagger, the size of her palm, was placed in Kay’s hand.
“But are you really not going to leave?”
“No, I have something I need to do.”
Fenil asked once more as she watched him grip the dagger comfortably in his hand, but he firmly refused again. Normally, there should be at least a trace of regret, but he showed no such sign. Though she had no idea what he needed to do here, if Kay said so, then that must be the case.
“Alright, let me know if you need any help. I’ll talk to the person outside, so just tell them.”
“I understand.”
Her gaze, which hadn’t left him for a long time, was finally withdrawn. Fenil gently stroked his head and left the prison.
* * *
As soon as she left, I who had been watching her, drew the dagger and cut the rope. After a few slices, the rope easily severed with a snapping sound.
The reason Fenil gave me the knife without any suspicion was probably because she trusted me. But I couldn’t reciprocate her trust.
I rubbed my wrist where the rope had left marks, then grabbed the crude chair. It was a chair I hadn’t left since coming here.
I took a deep breath to compose myself. Then I slowly raised my body from the chair. But my trembling legs buckled after only a few seconds, making a thud.
A numbing pain surged from my knees. As expected, with a body that hadn’t eaten properly, I couldn’t even walk. In the end, all I could do was sit back in that chair.
I wasn’t trying to do anything in particular. I was just curious how it would feel to be free from this chair. But even if I escaped from it, nothing would change. I had no thoughts of wanting to live again or trying to endure.
It’s not that I wasn’t shaken by Fenil’s words. I could somewhat understand that Boss felt the same way as I did. But I knew now that no matter what I did, I could never go back to how things were.
I was such a weak being. One who chases only the past without seeing the future. That’s why I lived pretending to be strong while hiding my weakness. Afraid of being abandoned if this weakness was discovered. Afraid that I would lose my place.
But that too ends today. The deliberation was long, but my resolution from that time remained unchanged.
Amidst memories flowing in, I raised the knife high. It wasn’t that I wasn’t afraid, but I no longer had the courage to live.
I closed my eyes tightly and completed my preparation. After exhaling deeply, I quickly stabbed the knife toward my neck.
“Kuheck…!”
With a clear metallic sound, the knife fell to the floor. But my neck was still intact.
Something was strange. Normally, I should be dying, bleeding out. But the moment I tried to put the knife to my neck, my hand suddenly lost strength. As if my body was rejecting death.
My heart was pounding as if it would burst. The sensation of blood boiling and flowing backwards spread throughout my body. Breathing was laborious, and sweat was pouring like rain.
“That can’t be—”
This was an impossible sensation. After all, this was an ability that could only be manifested in my original body. Though I had no clear memory, my instinct was telling me so.
Yet somehow, the same signs were beginning in Kane’s body. I hurriedly lifted my head to look up, but the pitch-black ceiling offered no answers. If only I could at least know if today was a full moon.
What on earth was happening to my body? My entire body lost strength, and I collapsed onto the cold floor. Then my vision darkened, and darkness filled in. With the sound of footsteps in the distance, my consciousness was cut off.
* * *
On the table in Boss’s home sat a vase. Inside was a single lavender stem that looked as if it might crumble at any moment.
It was a flower he had discovered when he felt as if Kay had come to the veranda.
Somehow feeling it should be kept, he had preserved it, though it was amazing that it still maintained its form until now.
The flower looked so delicate, yet how could it endure as if waiting for something? He unwittingly stared at the lavender with an intense gaze.
“Ah…”
And at that moment, as if its vitality had run out, the lavender’s purple petals began to fall all at once. His body froze momentarily at the sight of petals piling on the table like a flower rain.
It was one thing if they withered one by one, but for all the petals to fall at once…
It was too strange to be a coincidence. He carefully lifted one of the petals from the table. Then the discolored petal crumbled on his hand.
At this, his heartbeat began to subtly accelerate. Though it surely was nothing, he couldn’t shake off the uneasy feeling. Boss stared at the fallen petals for quite some time before heading outside.
But the strange occurrences didn’t end there. As he stepped outside, someone from who knows where suddenly came at him with a knife. Boss easily dodged, but the perfectly fine tree in front of him suddenly began to fall.
After clearing away the tree that had been cut down with a loud noise using his ability, he experienced several other crises.
No matter how he thought about it, today’s luck was excessively bad. Although he managed to arrive safely at headquarters, he couldn’t shake off the uncomfortable feeling.
The climax was when Nelaim urgently approached him. Exhaling heavily, he spoke without even time for greetings.
“Kay! He’s woken up!”
As soon as he heard those words, Boss moved instinctively. Perhaps all of today’s events were meant to inform him of this.
There was no time to delay. With each step he took, all kinds of words tumbled in his mind. What should he say when he sees him? Should he ask for forgiveness first, or should he first ask if he’s okay?
But along with those thoughts, anxiety also began to creep in.
He was afraid of Kay’s reaction upon seeing him. He desperately hoped for a smile, but he knew well that this too was selfishness.
Such worries accumulated and held back Boss’s rushing feet. The anxiety that seemed likely to become reality bound his feet. He wanted to see him who had awakened, but at the same time, he was scared. Scared of eyes filled with hatred directed at him.
But he couldn’t just not go. If he didn’t go now, it would only be avoidance. How could he flee cowardly without even facing him properly? Wouldn’t that be the most unforgivable act to Kay?
Boss’s feet, which had momentarily stopped, began to move again. With a firm resolve not to avoid, he opened the door to the hospital room.
The door that should have opened lightly felt as heavy as a thick iron door. His eyes moved back and forth through the gradually opening door, searching for Kay. And finally, his gaze landed on one spot.
