“This is where Elliot can see right away when he comes…”
“Let’s stop the Elliot talk in moderation since it won’t even be enjoyable to say.”
Rubens’s eyes thinned. It was natural that the tense Bernard’s lips closed, and Rubens silently looked down at the face he gripped. A ticklish breath touched inside his hand. It wasn’t unpleasant to see the stupid face holding its breath as if wanting to restrain even that. Bernard had robot-like aspects. He acted stiffly only to the extent that was inputted.
“Bernard listens to everything I say.”
“Why?”
“Well, because we’re twins who love each other the most!”
“Do you like your brother more than me?”
“Ahaha, surely you’re not jealous. Rubens?”
“You have to answer.”
“Of course you come first. You’re my lover.”
The relationship between Elliot and Bernard was abnormal. Elliot who said he would unconditionally listen to everything he said, and conversely, Bernard who seemed not to believe even a bit that Elliot would devote himself to him.
Rubens had intended to enjoy that relationship moderately and be done with it, but strangely lately Bernard had been weighing on his mind. It would be correct to say he was annoying. At first, it was uncomfortable that he was frequently mentioned in his lover’s mouth, but… now that he thought about it, Elliot’s natural certainty seemed to have been what annoyed him.
“Will you listen to anything I say?”
“Wasn’t that what you wanted from me?”
“Try saying it more autonomously.”
“…As long as it won’t harm Elliot.”
Even now it was like that. Bernard carefully set limits and that scratched Rubens’s mood. It was ridiculous that an idiot who couldn’t even properly hide his face fallen in love was measuring the situation despite his situation. When he gripped his cheek harder, he swallowed rapid empty breaths and shrank.
“Don’t give up.”
It was an impulsive remark without going through thought. Bernard’s eyes widened. When he pulled off the annoying glasses with his other hand and placed them on the railing, he fumbled and reached out his hand. But Rubens grasped the reaching hand to stop it while lowering his gaze more to meet eyes. He was somehow satisfied that he was fully reflected in those dark green eyes.
“Love me.”
But when looking at eyes that rippled as if hurt by just these few words, Rubens felt a base desire rising without realizing it. Feeling the sensation of his heart warming tightly, when he licked his eyelids with his tongue, the sensation of trembling eyelashes felt sensitively under his tongue as if he knew he would lick even his eyeballs.
There was no way Rubens would choose such an unsightly man. For what reason would he choose someone who couldn’t bring him any benefit? He would just be with Elliot, securing the necessary social image and incidentally securing appropriate pleasure. Elliot Weil was suitable for dating. Bernard Weil was just a bonus gift that came along when choosing that Elliot.
“For me, my feelings… to treat them as if they’re nothing. You.”
“Because they’re cheap. Common enough to trip over, with not a single reason to be treated preciously.”
“That’s not true.”
“McPherson has filled you with false hope.”
Bernard suited being trampled on, trembling yet unable to turn away and clinging. But trying to somehow overcome and move forward despite his situation. There was no other word to attach but ‘how dare.’
“Ah… ugh, uuugh…!”
The hand gripping the cheek tilted diagonally. Lips met, and the cigarette Rubens had been holding fell to the floor. The unlit one drew a long trajectory in the darkness.
Bernard clenched his lips shut but couldn’t stop the tongue that wedged through the closed lips and entered. Because the thick tongue tangled and stirred up the space as it pleased, his breathing ran out and Bernard had no choice but to pant and grip his forearm. The grip strength that squeezed tightly so he couldn’t even twist his face didn’t know how to loosen. Bernard’s back was blocked by the railing, and the front was occupied by Rubens. Pressed down by heavy weight, breath was blown in each time he panted.
Goosebumps rose at the sensation of the soft tongue being chewed and sucked. His body, which had already recognized pleasure from being stuck together several times, became hazy at the sensation of naturally getting wet. The leg tangled between his thighs pressed and rubbed against the center.
When Bernard urgently pushed the floor with his feet in refusal, his upper body swayed and tilted for a moment. But Rubens didn’t let go of Bernard even in that instant. The kisses he poured consecutively while pulling Bernard’s waist with his other hand were too deep, and Bernard was simultaneously agonized. The hand that had been supporting Rubens’s forearm was now gripping the nape of his neck. If he didn’t do that, it felt like he would fall. No, it felt like he was already falling.
“Sto-op…”
“Ha.”
As the lips separated, saliva stretched long then snapped. A sob-like voice leaked thinly through Bernard’s lips. The expression of Rubens looking down distorted faintly. It was because Bernard’s face, awkwardly clinging while trapped in his arms, was too sensual.
Every time he saw eyes brimming with tears blinking vacantly without being able to focus, an indescribable emotion surged up. His Adam’s apple moved up and down on its own. When he licked the panting lips that drooped in his arms unable to stand properly, it seemed to taste sweet.
“I forgot, but Elliot contacted me earlier saying he was almost here. He must have really arrived by now.”
“…Ah.”
“I’ll bring him so pull yourself together and wait.”
When the closely attached body separated, Bernard collapsed limply. The appearance of only panting heavily while leaning against the railing was still a sight of not coming to his senses. Though his front bulging slightly was visible even in the darkness, Rubens turned his back leaving him as he was. It was a familiar thing for Bernard. It was always natural to be put on the back burner.
“Bernard?”
But after Rubens disappeared, someone carefully spoke from within the darkness beyond. Bernard, who hadn’t thought there would be a hidden presence, blinked in bewilderment. His eyes wet with sporadic pleasure focused with difficulty.
“Did you just… kiss Mr. Hurt?”
“No, that’s—”
“Wow… You’re really amazing.”
The other person blinked with a face flushed with excitement then soon smiled broadly. It was a somehow eerie smile. The face that couldn’t stand being thrilled was familiar. Bernard’s mind was suddenly pulled up above the surface.
“I should have recorded it.”
“Why are you here?”
“Haha, what are you saying. I can come too. I was supposed to come with Elliot but he said he’d be a bit late, so I came first and was waiting. To go in together with Elliot.”
It was a voice highly excited somewhere. Bernard tried to raise his collapsed body but the other person was a bit faster. The touch patting his shoulder saying he didn’t need to get up was honestly rough enough to be closer to violence than consideration.
“Foster.”
“I told you to call me Ben. I didn’t know you’d do such a cunning thing. Chris was right after all. Everyone said the gossip magazines were just gossip magazines… I should have believed Chris.”
“I, I can explain everything.”
“Explain? What explanation. How will you explain passionately kissing Elliot’s lover?”
“Please, quietly…”
“At least you know to be ashamed?”
Ben Foster. One of the group that hung around with Chris McGordon and Elliot’s close friend. He was also a person who had persistently tormented Bernard during college days. Though he didn’t directly cause harm, indirect experiences were overflowing. He couldn’t forget even if he tried the face that always poured out abuse with an excited expression.
“Does Elliot know this fact?”
Bernard’s face, which had been trying to manage the situation somehow, hardened stiffly. Ben’s face, confirming that appearance, loosened slimily. He knelt on one knee in front of the collapsed Bernard. It seemed like he was trying to somehow put on a kind face, but it was a face with uncontainable ecstasy lurking. And when Ben made such a face, something bad always happened.
“Oh, Bernard… Unrequited love isn’t a bad thing. Even though you committed a vermin-like act of coveting your brother’s lover.”
“Elliot doesn’t know.”
“Of course! If Elliot knew, he would have been disappointed in you already. You don’t want that, right?”
It was a reflexive answer, and a response full of joy came in succession. Ben, who brought his face close, patted Bernard’s shoulder repeatedly as if encouraging. Though it was too intense force and Bernard’s body was shaking miserably, Ben was intoxicated with the situation and didn’t care.
“Are you only at the stage of kissing? That wasn’t that kind of atmosphere. I actually couldn’t hear the words well.”
“…”
“Just because you stay silent doesn’t make everything okay. What will you do if I tell Elliot this fact?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Then shouldn’t you cooperate?”
It was malice completely impossible to understand. Ben was a classmate who had always observed Bernard. He was always neat and kind among classmates, but especially revealed his true nature only in front of Bernard. Without even hiding his base desires, he belittled and mocked Bernard, and was satisfied after driving him to finally burst into tears.
“I don’t do blackm—”
“You’re not trying to claim that Mr. Hurt is blackmailing you, are you?”
“…”
“Who do you think would believe such words? What does Mr. Hurt lack? You must have seduced Mr. Hurt with your body. Anyway, you only know how to use being Elliot’s twin in that way.”
Ben’s grinning face soon distorted. He tapped Bernard’s cheek a few times as if looking at something very dirty, then brought the glasses that had been placed on the railing and put them on him. Though focus became clear again, Bernard couldn’t bear to face Ben and dropped his gaze.
“Oh, Bernard… Repent to God. What should we do with this. Should I hide it, this kind of scandal?”
“Please.”
“Right, you know well what you have to say. You should beg saying you were wrong like always.”
The touch stroking his head like dealing with a dog was kind, but Bernard was more afraid of him at this moment than anyone. If he opened the door and went in, he might be able to ask someone for help. But who? In a place where everyone drove him into a corner and mocked him, even if he went in and asked for help, there was no way they would take his side. It would be fortunate if they didn’t even ask Ben what happened. His head spun tightly with various ominous assumptions, feeling like he would faint any moment.
“Foster. First, this isn’t a place for you to come.”
“Why? I came to go in together with Elliot too.”
“Did you get… permission from Elliot?”
“Of course. Do you think I’m like you?”
Bernard’s complexion turned pale. Feeling like hyperventilation would come any moment, he suppressed his rapid breathing. He tried to calmly assess the situation, but Ben, who noticed that trick, snickered.
“Should I reveal what you did with Mr. Hurt? I can rush into there right now and shout. Do you want that?”
For Bernard, it was a story frightening enough to make his blood run cold.
