“Make sure to take cold medicine when you get home.”
Rhino, who meticulously fastened the buttons one by one on the coat Bernard had roughly thrown on due to the cast on his left hand, took the first step. He watched for a long time the back turning away indifferently while snatching away the car keys he had placed in his hand. He seemed like he would always remain so unchangingly kind. Truly ill-suited to himself.
“Why are you just watching? Aren’t you going?”
“No. Let’s go.”
Not wanting to worry him more, he shook off the useless idle thoughts and followed him. Walking out of the house he had coldly fled from before together with him made his feelings complicated. Opening the passenger door and playfully greeting “Please get in,” he gave an awkward nod and obediently climbed in.
Strangely, he kept becoming anxious as if this moment would never come again. Like facing a storm, he wanted to stamp his feet, but when he turned around it seemed like it would be okay again. Even though Rhino wouldn’t suddenly be capricious like that man.
A soft jazz melody flows from the car radio. At his kindness of opening the window halfway as if to say be comfortable, Bernard readily looked out the car window. While looking at the outer walls of buildings rapidly passing by as they crossed the bright midday road, when the familiar house began to be visible from afar, Bernard finally let out a long breath resembling a shallow smile.
There was a need to shake off the anxiety piled up layer upon layer. If he remained buried in these emotions for too long, even things that could work out surely wouldn’t. When he returned, he really planned to take cold medicine and sleep soundly. There would be no one to blame him even if he forgot about worries about Elliot or worries about explaining the cast for a while and spent the whole day buried in bed.
When he woke up, current worries might have changed into something more trivial. There would be nothing that would change from being anxious about things that couldn’t be immediately resolved. It was a similar principle to preparing for an exam.
Thinking that way deliberately and organizing his insides, a humming sound was suddenly heard from the side. Whether his mood had improved compared to earlier from the not-long outing, Rhino was humming along to the jazz melody coming from the radio. Listening to that peaceful sound, Bernard drove away the anxiety inside him. Things won’t get any worse. While thinking that.
“Don’t forget the cold medicine.”
“Nag.”
“Didn’t you know? I’m originally very worrying and good at making a fuss.”
“I didn’t know it was to this extent.”
Was it because the tension was released? Trivial words flowed out well. The matter of trembling in anxiety from the crack of dawn while being hit by cold wind all felt like last night’s nightmare. His body became drowsy along with it. Bernard, who had been buried deep in a coat much larger than his build, laughed emptily. However, no matter how much he tried, only one corner of his heart remained cold. It was because of the presence of the ring he was wearing on his right hand stuffed in his pocket.
“You’ll answer my contact again, right?”
“……Yeah.”
“Don’t block my number.”
“I never have.”
“If you block me, you’d be the first person who dared to block Rhino McPherson.”
When he grumbled that he didn’t even want to be such a first, this time Rhino smiled broadly. Only then did he realize he had also been anxious inside. Bernard smiled prettily. It was his best effort to relieve even a little of Rhino’s anxiety.
Soon the car stopped in front of Bernard’s house. He had only been away for one night, but it felt like he had been away from home for a very long time. He was worried whether Elliot would be inside, but if he said he was sick, at least until he woke up from sleep he would leave him alone. Just thinking about it made him feel tired, but it was something Bernard had to endure himself.
“……I’m always grateful to you.”
“How sudden.”
“But still.”
“Enough of that talk. Go in and rest. Contact me again later, okay?”
At the continued banter, Bernard, who smiled faintly, turned around in a lighter mood. However, he couldn’t take a few steps and stopped in that spot.
“Ha.”
A sigh like a sneer fell sharply. Someone was in front of the house. Because the spot where the car stopped cleverly blocked him, not discovering him immediately after getting out was a perfect mistake. All of Bernard’s muscles stiffened rigidly.
He reeked of heavy cigarette smoke. Whether he had already burned through several before the one he was smoking now, cigarette butts were scattered abundantly at the man’s feet. It was the worst situation.
When Bernard stopped without entering the house, whether feeling puzzled, Rhino subsequently got out of the driver’s seat. He tried to stop him belatedly, but Rhino’s action was one step faster. Soon, whether he too discovered the person waiting in front of the house, the smile remaining on his face completely disappeared.
“……What kind of scene is this now.”
The cigarette butt was crushed under Rubens’s shoe. Bernard’s face turned white watching the mark left long on the ground. As if it were himself being trampled, Rhino strongly grabbed Bernard’s shoulders which were trembling. However, thinking that alone was insufficient, Rhino stepped forward and stood completely blocking Bernard. It was good will, but Bernard felt a deep sense of crisis at that action.
Rubens didn’t like Rhino. When he answered the phone in the car, he didn’t try to hide his hostility toward Rhino. Also, he wasn’t a man who would leave something that rubbed him the wrong way alone. The man’s gaze touched Bernard’s hand urgently grabbing Rhino’s coat.
Rubens picked up the cigarette that had been in his lips with two fingers and flicked the ash into the air. Then he looked at Bernard while briefly withholding words. It was an insipid face like a god before the final judgment.
“I’ll need a detailed explanation. Mr. Weil.”
Rubens’s blue eyes curved very kindly. Bernard suddenly saw an intense optical illusion as if he were standing in last night’s garage. The man who had been capricious in ways difficult to understand was again doing incomprehensible actions. There was no reason for him to be in front of this house. At least…… not right now.
While stubbing out his cigarette against the fence, Rubens was still staring at Bernard. Bernard’s lips twitched and repeatedly closed. Rubens’s gentle expression unsuited to the situation kept calling up anxious memories. His throat choked up. His trembling hands finally released Rhino’s coat tail. Only the thought that he must not let Rhino get entangled remained strongly in his head.
Rhino reflexively grabbed the forearm of Bernard who was hesitantly stepping forward, but when Bernard groaned in pain, not knowing what to do, he eventually let him go.
“……Bernard, don’t.”
“Bernard Weil.”
At the call penetrating his confused head, Bernard’s head snapped up. He who had been hesitating barely moved and advanced a couple steps.
“Bernard can’t deal with someone like you right now……”
“Don’t do that.”
Bernard stopped the agitated Rhino with a deliberately calm voice. Even while seeing a faint sense of defeat spread across Rhino’s face, Bernard had no choice. His heart throbbed. Unavoidable guilt weighed heavily on his shoulders. It was as if the brief peace had completely disappeared without a trace.
“……Don’t do that.”
At the frail tone whispering once more, Rhino’s face completely contorted. However, Bernard just wanted to protect Rhino. A warning light that he must not provoke Rubens kept ringing in his head.
Rubens was in a different appearance from what he saw last night. He wore a black shirt with a dark gray suit, and a blue necktie tightly fastened in a flawless outfit. With a tall physique that seemed at least a head taller than an average adult male, wearing a suit without a single wrinkle, he had some outerwear draped over his arm. Bernard immediately noticed it was his clothing.
“How long must I wait like this.”
Rubens was still smiling, but rather that felt more murderous. Despite the gentle tone, his anger could be clearly known. Bernard’s chin trembled shakily. The pain he had desperately endured at dawn seemed to seep into his bones again. It was as if the anxiety he had deliberately pushed away was covering Bernard again like a high wave.
Rubens quietly gazed at the man before his eyes. There were no more urging words, but it was the action of one who knew that would rather feel more threatening to Bernard. The approaching footsteps were certainly slow, but the distance between the two was gradually narrowing.
Rubens enjoyed a strange satisfaction. When he woke at dawn, the spot beside him was empty. The feeling he felt the moment he discovered that and the feeling he was enjoying now were certainly of different quality. He moistened his dry lips with saliva.
Bernard’s warmth could not be found anywhere. The bathroom he opened just in case was also empty. Only after witnessing the outerwear he had bought rolling on the floor did Rubens regain the sense of reality he had missed.
That mood should be swayed because of one insignificant person was truly an unpleasant matter. But now, the moment Bernard came before him, Rubens rather felt satisfaction. Everything didn’t roll according to his will.
“……I’m sorry.”
Bernard’s shaggy hair was still a mess. The fist of Rhino watching him wearing a coat ridiculously large compared to his thin build turned white. Rubens looked down at Bernard and felt a subtle displeasure. The previous night, he had been crushed under him to the point where it was difficult to even walk. Rubens knew better how severely he had been treated.
However, to appear with a face that had improved considerably just because a few hours had passed. Rubens became curious about Rhino’s influence on Bernard. And the very fact that he became curious about such a thing was irritating.
“You left your clothes behind.”
“Th-thank you.”
Rubens handed over the outerwear draped on his arm as if that was his only purpose. Bernard, who received it with a bewildered expression, carefully examined Rubens’s face, but he took out another cigarette and put it in his mouth. Despite the cigarette butts piled abundantly at his feet, worry formed inside at his action of insisting on lighting it. It was truly an emotion that didn’t know its place.
“I thought you had returned home.”
“……It was hard to walk.”
“So you called another man?”
At the sarcastic tone, Bernard’s head snapped up again. Rubens let out a cold laugh while watching Bernard tightly gripping the outerwear he had received. Even while knowing Bernard’s face reflexively frowned slightly at the breath he huffed out scattering cigarette smoke thickly, Rubens flicked the long-burning cigarette ash.
“And Rhino McPherson at that.”
“He’s just a friend.”
“I told you he bothers me.”
A faint conflict appeared in Bernard’s eyes. Rubens was curious what he was thinking with that small head. Placing Elliot’s happiness on the scale, what did he place on the opposite side? Could he know a bit if he split it open?
“But still.”
Unlike the usual somewhat mumbling speech, this time Bernard’s pronunciation was clear. Rubens’s eyes narrowed thinly. He knew Rhino, who had been retreating back, was approaching them, but Rubens didn’t stop even that. It was an attitude coming from the arrogance that even if a third party intervened in this situation, the situation would flow as he wanted.
Bernard said.
“……Would there be a need to be bothered by such things when we’re merely sex partners.”
