Bernard stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do with the pain piercing through his left hand. Ignoring him as he looked up with a tense face after changing into indoor slippers, Rubens left a word to wait and went somewhere.
His hand burned so much that now it felt like his entire forearm was going numb. He tried to make a fist, but even the slightest movement of his fingers hurt piercingly, so Bernard had no choice but to sit still in place. Rubens only showed himself after more time had passed.
“Wash your hands and come.”
A reaction as if nothing had happened. Bernard swallowed tears several times while cooling his burning hand under running cold water in the bathroom. He wiped his messy face and cleaned his glasses that had wet marks. He also tried hard to tidy his disheveled hair. His right hand holding the bathroom doorknob trembled finely. He wanted to run away like this, but lacking the courage to handle the aftermath, he obediently returned to his place.
It felt like his heartbeat was too loud. It was difficult to discern whether tension or fear was greater. Rubens didn’t try to soothe him and placed tableware and dishes on the kitchen table. The clattering sound of dishes, the appetizing smell of food, and even the man who tacitly allowed stolen glances without a word—it was a peace like thin ice. Bernard lost his words. Because the violence that had just swept through seemed like a lie.
“I just made some light pasta and salad. Is there anything you can’t eat?”
He thought the order of questions was wrong, but Bernard quietly shook his head. A water glass was placed in front of him. As Bernard trembled and arduously gulped down cold water, Rubens continued.
“Let’s go to the hospital after eating. I’ve already contacted the doctor.”
It was unexpected content. Startled, Bernard jerked his head up, but Rubens started eating first without changing his expression. Bernard’s face darkened. He had no mind to eat, and the sense of crisis that he wouldn’t end things here crushed his stomach. His left hand kept throbbing, so he didn’t want to move even his right hand.
But Rubens was staring at Bernard silently. His blue eyes were giving Bernard a quiet sense of pressure. Bernard knew very well…… that he couldn’t refuse here.
“I’ll eat well.”
He tried to force out a normal voice, but couldn’t hide the trembling. His mind was a mess. Bernard’s jaw moved slowly as he clumsily forked with his right hand and pushed noodles into his mouth. He felt like he’d get indigestion. He wanted to vomit everything up right away.
Rubens was thinking other thoughts while watching him steadily engage in his meal, albeit at a slow pace. When he showed affection beyond a certain degree, he would climb up not knowing his place. So when he raised his hand, his spirit would be completely crushed and he’d act as if he’d die and collapse any moment. It was difficult to decide which was more satisfying, but for now it was certain that the latter was accompanied by displeasure.
The ring was beautiful even on the broken hand. He recalled Elliot’s face smiling more happily than anyone when he received the similar ring. His innocent lover was happy without dreaming that an identical ring had also been given to his own sibling. It was an action tantamount to deceiving his lover, but Rubens didn’t care.
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes……”
“It must be broken.”
When he poked the left hand placed on the table, he tensed his body with a start, looking exactly like a frog. When he interlaced fingers with the broken hand, Bernard reflexively frowned. Rubens was displeased even knowing it was an action stemming from pain. When he pressed firmly on the clearly broken finger, tears burst from Bernard’s eyes.
Rubens looked once more at the ring on his left hand and smiled faintly. Whether he felt bad or better. Anyway, he had justification to possess both of them. He was someone who could do that. All judgments could be postponed until after he’d possessed both siblings.
***
“Don’t do anything and be careful. The bone needs some time to set.”
“……Will it take long?”
“Well, we’ll have to wait at least a month to know.”
Doctor Ebrahim looked at the X-ray and spoke sparingly. Instructions followed that he needed a full cast for now, to use his fingers as little as possible, and that he’d change it to a half cast later if it improved.
Ebrahim had a displeased face. Emptying his coffee cup, he kept looking at Rubens, seeming to have something to say. Rubens’s eyebrow raised slightly.
“Speak.”
Bernard’s eyes widened slightly at Rubens’s light tone. Then Ebrahim brightened and continued his cut-off words.
“You’re Elliot-ssi’s twin sibling, right? I’m Doctor Ebrahim Windsor. Nice to meet you. The name is indeed taken from Abraham.”
“Yes… I’m Bernard Weil.”
“I’ve known Rubens since we were young. Our parents are somewhat close. Anyway, I knew from the surname. I got scolded for wanting to be friendly.”
Ebrahim even brought up unasked topics and smiled affably. He shook hands with his good hand at the freely extended hand. Bernard glanced at Rubens’s expression alone, startled, but he didn’t add anything particular.
“Your hand will swell a bit, but that can’t be helped, and you have to be careful even when washing. I’ll include painkillers with the medicine, so don’t skip meals and take good care. And I want to talk with Rubens briefly—would you mind stepping out first? It’ll just be a moment, so you can sit in the hallway and wait.”
At the words spoken with an eye smile, Bernard left a word of understanding and vacated his seat first. Ebrahim watched for a long time as he hurriedly left with the customary greeting of “thank you,” and as soon as the door closed, threw a sharp reaction toward Rubens.
“What’s with the ring on his hand?”
“Ebrahim. You’re interfering too much.”
“You son of a……”
At the reaction without even an excuse, Ebrahim frowned. However, Rubens didn’t bat an eye and smiled thinly while sweeping back his fallen bangs. Ebrahim opened his mouth with displeasure.
“You did it, didn’t you?”
“What are you asking when you already know?”
“Wow, really. I should just report this and die together.”
“I know you can’t, Ebrahim.”
“Please don’t call me so affectionately.”
Having known Rubens for a long time, Ebrahim knew his minor habits inside and out. Rubens had an unusual obsession with what was his. He particularly hated when people he considered his own were touched by others’ hands, and he pretended to have tidied that up somewhat after graduating from childhood. He’d been relieved that he didn’t show it so much after becoming an adult, but this situation.
However, there was one nagging question in Ebrahim’s mind. Wasn’t the one he was currently dating Elliot Weil, the elder of the twins? Then Bernard Weil should have been outside consideration in that possessiveness.
“He’ll come for regular checkups, so look after him.”
“Counseling?”
“No.”
“It looks better to me if someone other than you accompanies him.”
“I’ll come.”
Rubens smiled nonchalantly at Ebrahim’s distorted face. He closed the examination room door, completely ignoring the protests heard from behind. Though it was late at night, there were quite a few nurses passing through the hallway. Bernard, with a full cast, stood in front of the door with an anxious expression.
“Shall we go back?”
“Ah, yes… Then I’ll pay and be on my way.”
“My business isn’t finished yet.”
Force entered the hand holding his left hand. Bernard’s faint groan escaped. He looked at his held hand for a long time, calculating what he had to do and what he couldn’t. Then the reaction that came out was a very spineless answer.
“By business, you mean……”
“Why do you think I called you?”
Rubens’s head tilted. Pale fluorescent lights illuminated the night hallway. Bernard unconsciously clenched his right hand tightly to suppress his quickening breath. Rubens lowered his head and whispered in his ear.
“Now isn’t it your turn to accomplish what Elliot can’t do anymore?”
It felt like cold water had poured over his head. Bernard’s face turned white. He wanted to pretend not to know what Rubens was saying, but he couldn’t. Bernard realized very clearly what he wanted.
“I feel like I’ve taken too much time……”
“So.”
“I should go back… my family will also worry……”
“They wouldn’t worry about you, would they?”
His words were cut off. Bernard’s face looking up at the cold expression seemed foolishly innocent. Rubens suddenly became curious. How many others had seen Bernard’s face like this? And who else had he loved before Rubens?
“Let’s go back. There’s still a price to pay.”
Looking at the face dyed with despair, Rubens felt a stiff satisfaction.
The car ride back was only silent. Bernard tried to suppress his quick breaths while gripping the seatbelt tightly as if it were a lifeline. Even knowing his efforts, Rubens stared only ahead without looking to the side.
Bernard thought his heart was beating too overwhelmingly for it to handle. His breathing overflowed to the point it seemed to choke him instead. Was it due to excessive tension? He hadn’t been in such a panic state when coming, but memories of previous days kept surfacing and his vision blurred.
Rubens noticed Bernard’s abnormality after driving about 2 more miles.
“Weil.”
“……”
Bernard didn’t answer. Holding the seatbelt tightly with his good right hand didn’t look sane. His face, pale and bloodless, the quick breathing heard from earlier, and his trembling body and such informed of his abnormal state.
His eyes were glimpsed through his disheveled bangs. His dark green eyes, growing moist, sparkled in the streetlight installed along the road. As soon as Rubens, noticing the abnormal state, stopped the car, Bernard’s back curved roundly.
“Weil?”
“…Ah, huk……”
As if he couldn’t even feel the rough hand gripping his shoulder, he struggled, trying to avoid the situation. Trembling violently at what was so frightening, curling his body in the passenger seat with no place to retreat and trying to protect his head, he looked exactly like someone facing violence.
Rubens recalled his appearance witnessed in the car the other day. McPherson’s voice suppressing anger over the phone, asking for help. And the appearance of Bernard Weil collapsing before him.
It was exactly the same as that time.
