Acrid cigarette smoke rose into the air. Tae Shinwoo stood in a corner of the dark alley with a cigarette in his mouth. His gaze was fixed on one spot and showed no signs of moving away.
At the end of his line of sight was Seo Eunho. In the alley shrouded in silence, Seo Eunho sat blankly on that wooden bench where his father used to cheerfully chat with the neighbors.
Seo Eunho was always like this. He would leave home in the early hours before the sun had even risen, sit on this bench, and spend quite some time there. Either smoking cigarettes or just staring vacantly into space.
After a certain amount of time passed, Seo Eunho would sluggishly get up from his seat. Only then would he set out for work.
His shoulders were always slumped and his face was filled with exhaustion. Though it was impossible to know what he was thinking, it was clear that Seo Eunho had been repeating this same behavior for quite a long time.
Thanks to that, Tae Shinwoo had gained an early schedule as well. When this time came, he would watch Seo Eunho in the silence.
There was no reason to go through such a bothersome act. He was in a position where he could call Seo Eunho whenever he wanted. But Tae Shinwoo didn’t want to break this time. It was just comfortable watching him from a distance. He felt that if he called him over right now and pulled him in front of himself, he would surely regret it. So Tae Shinwoo just kept his mouth firmly shut.
“……”
The vacant gaze never once turned toward Tae Shinwoo. That’s why Tae Shinwoo could look at Seo Eunho to his heart’s content.
The distance was much farther than when he held him on the bed, yet strangely, it felt like he was seeing him even closer—a bizarre feeling.
Tae Shinwoo looked at Seo Eunho’s nape while ignoring that absurd thought. A carelessly placed pain relief patch caught his eye. After their rather unpleasant sexual encounter, that patch had remained stuck to Seo Eunho’s nape.
It was to hide the mark he had left. Quite some time had passed, yet that mark still remained.
One trivial fact made all the hair on his body stand on end. Tae Shinwoo’s eyelids slowly closed and then returned to their place.
It would be nice if it never disappeared. If the wound from being bitten by him were engraved there forever. And if it couldn’t be hidden. So that he’d have no choice but to show it to everyone.
“Ha……”
A hollow laugh flowed out along with the hazy smoke. Why did he want to do that so badly? Why did he want to monopolize Seo Eunho so much? Why did he want to mark him so that no one would dare covet him—no, not even dare to look at him?
Was it because the time he’d lost was so long?
It wasn’t really an answer he needed to find, nor was there any need to, but as if wanting to follow Seo Eunho lost in thought, Tae Shinwoo’s thoughts deepened as well.
Perhaps that was it. Because he had let go of Seo Eunho, who had been his from the moment he first laid eyes on him, for far too long. He didn’t want to make the same mistake again. Of course, that would never happen. Tae Shinwoo could say that with certainty.
“Haah……”
The pointless thought faded with the long sigh Seo Eunho let out. As if it had become a habit, Seo Eunho always let out a long sigh right before getting up from the bench. Then he would stand up and trudge along. Seo Eunho didn’t bother to put any strength into his steps.
His exhausted gait would only straighten out around the time he arrived at his workplace. Very vigorously.
Tae Shinwoo watched Seo Eunho’s retreating figure. His gaze soon fell to the shoes that dragged with each step. Those shabby, tattered shoes that were utterly worn out—shoes he no longer wore in front of Tae Shinwoo.
‘Isn’t it about time to get new ones?’
Along with the idle thought, his face contorted. Then he looked at the alley Seo Eunho had descended weakly. Seo Eunho’s father was probably sleeping peacefully.
What was he doing all that for? Where had the Seo Eunho who had boldly declared he wouldn’t live like his mother gone?
Tae Shinwoo rubbed his face. Ah, right. Back then, he hadn’t believed Seo Eunho’s words. He’d only thought that he would just keep him confined so things would turn out as he declared.
Should he just do it now?
If he told him to quit work right away, Seo Eunho would certainly do so. Tae Shinwoo would give him money, and that was what Seo Eunho wanted most desperately.
Seo Eunho was obedient to money. That’s why Tae Shinwoo could manipulate him as he pleased. Whatever his feelings were, whatever he was thinking—none of it mattered. Just as Seo Eunho didn’t wonder about the reasons for his actions.
Of course, Tae Shinwoo had no intention of making Seo Eunho understand him. They didn’t understand each other anyway. They just hadn’t known that during their childhood.
“Seo Eunho.”
Tae Shinwoo’s tightly closed lips opened, and his name burst out. It wasn’t to call him since Seo Eunho had already disappeared from sight. It was just—this was an act like a habit for Tae Shinwoo. Ever since he’d met Seo Eunho again.
There had been a time when just recalling his name was agonizing. Back then, Tae Shinwoo could have found Seo Eunho at any time. He just didn’t. Because he thought it was better not to find him. Even now, that thought remained unchanged.
If only he hadn’t caught his eye.
Tae Shinwoo dry-washed his face while looking at the bench where Seo Eunho no longer sat. What kind of expression Seo Eunho wore sitting on that bench every dawn, how grueling the work he did all day was, how pained his expression was in front of him—it would have been better not to know all of those things.
He’d forgotten everything about Seo Eunho. So asking why he’d done that should be fine, right? What arrogant thoughts he’d had.
Regrettably, Tae Shinwoo still remembered Seo Eunho. Making a mockery of his belief that he’d forgotten him, Tae Shinwoo wanted to keep him by his side even more than before. At this rate, it seemed like before long, he’d want to keep him in sight all day long. So he could never escape from his field of vision.
Tae Shinwoo clicked his tongue and inhaled the cigarette smoke. Seeing how he even had the urge to gouge out the eyes of the subordinate who followed Seo Eunho around on his orders, he definitely wasn’t in his right mind.
Should he just make him come to work at his office instead? There were plenty of excuses to give, and Seo Eunho would agree. How wonderful it would be to violate that body that made him go into heat every time he saw it, keeping him in his office. It seemed like it wouldn’t be bad to stuff him under the desk and make him suck his cock either.
“……”
His lips twisted at the idle thought. However, Tae Shinwoo’s eyes weren’t smiling at all.
Right, he wasn’t in his right mind. Thinking about it, it had been strange from the beginning. From that very first moment he faced Seo Eunho, thinking of him as his own. From the moment he started going mad with an inexplicable possessiveness.
It was Seo Eunho who left him like that. Then what was it that he wanted now? Was he burning with a desire for revenge? Did he want to exact payment for those twelve years?
No, Tae Shinwoo just wanted to let Seo Eunho know. That he could never escape him again. Letting him go would never happen a second time. Both his body and mind were essentially Tae Shinwoo’s possessions. Seo Eunho would gradually come to realize that fact.
“……”
Tae Shinwoo looked at his silent phone. The phone whose number only Seo Eunho knew showed no signs of ringing. However, Tae Shinwoo thought Seo Eunho’s name would appear on the screen before too long.
Tae Shinwoo was waiting. For the situation where Seo Eunho would have no choice but to come to him on his own feet.
* * *
Tae Shinwoo’s waiting wasn’t entirely without reason. In fact, Seo Eunho was contemplating whether he should contact Tae Shinwoo or not.
Of course, Seo Eunho thought Tae Shinwoo should naturally be the one to contact him. That was only natural since his job was to go to him whenever Tae Shinwoo wanted, as a condition for paying off his debt.
But he couldn’t help being bothered by it. If there had been no set period, it might be different. Time kept passing, yet Tae Shinwoo, who hadn’t contacted him at all, felt frustrating. If time continued to pass like this, it would be Tae Shinwoo who’d be at a loss.
It was ridiculous for him to be calculating profit and loss over something like this. And it was Tae Shinwoo’s loss anyway, so what did it matter?
But regrettably, Seo Eunho just couldn’t ignore the situation. Even if he served at his whim every single day for just one year, he knew very well that it wasn’t worth enough to pay off all the debt he’d been shouldering.
“……”
But contacting him first was also ridiculous. Who was he to be considerate of whose circumstances?
Thanks to that, Seo Eunho had been wavering constantly these days. He’d said it wouldn’t exceed a year, but the deadline was until he got sick of it, so maybe he was already sick of it. Seo Eunho let out a deep sigh without letting go of his phone.
If this was how it was going to be, should he just ask for an allowance? He’d definitely decided to be different from twelve years ago. He’d decided to use his desires, so rather than presumptuously worrying about his loss, it would be better to try to get more for himself.
It wasn’t a bad thought at all. Thinking about it, twelve years ago, that woman his father had brought home had called Seo Eunho her kind. A human who parasitizes on someone and extorts money from them. He just needed to acknowledge that fact. Well, his father couldn’t compare to Tae Shinwoo though.
Perhaps the reason he’d felt uncomfortable no matter how kindly that woman acted was a kind of hatred for his own kind.
“Haha……”
He laughed at the absurd thought, but it quickly faded. Seo Eunho pressed down on his rigidly hardened lips. Before he knew it, the sun was setting.
“……”
To be fussing about this now. Seo Eunho shook his head. Waiting until Tae Shinwoo contacted him was also something he couldn’t do. In that case, it would be better to set aside his uneasy feelings and try to completely parasitize off him.
[When’s the next time]
After holding his old phone for a long while, Seo Eunho finally sent a message to Tae Shinwoo. And before he could even turn off the screen, a notification appeared showing that his message had been read. It seemed Tae Shinwoo had been waiting for his message.
Was this what he wanted? For him to seek him out first?
At the somewhat hollow conclusion, Seo Eunho shook his head. That bastard was always like this. He’d create a situation and expect him to move according to it.
He was also problematic for moving exactly as he wanted every single time.
[I’ll pick you up, so wait]
At the short reply, Seo Eunho inhaled deeply. His torso, which had swelled and then deflated, felt even more shabby than before.
