No matter how much his stamina and flesh had noticeably increased, that was about it. His small, thin face didn’t possess that large an area. Nevertheless, it was enough to contain his twisted mood.
That emotion was conveyed intact through his crumpled bridge of nose and flickering eyes.
‘I fucking feel like I’ve become a cockroach or something.’
Backing away before even being touched, swatting away as if bouncing off… it felt like he’d become a cockroach or something. That action just now was closer to the feeling of sweeping away something dirty or dealing with something that shouldn’t be touched.
The other person who hesitated after that was the same. The man’s eyes, which had widened slightly, swept over the scene before him in turn.
He must have made quite a fierce expression in his own way. He definitely looked bad-tempered. It was just woefully insufficient to frighten Gil Taeseo, who had seen so many vicious sights.
“Isn’t this fractured?”
Saehyeon spoke in a low whisper. His voice was clearly small and low, conscious of the child. However, the strength and weakness between the words that went in as if chewing them made the words sound almost like curses.
“No matter what, that can’t be.”
“How would you know that?”
Right, no matter what, would it really fracture? Saehyeon himself wasn’t unaware of that. But he also judged there was no need to kick away a justification that had rolled in on its own.
‘He’ll definitely find fault.’
The man was a hunter who didn’t miss opportunities. The price for making him run around in circles in midsummer was still unsettled. The hand that had merely swollen red was a paltry value to exchange for that hardship, but it was better than nothing. That’s why even though he’d only been lightly hit, he’d laid down first.
To be a bit more honest… his mood was just really shitty.
Saehyeon reached out his hand again, taking advantage of the gap while the man was momentarily stopped. This time not to draw attention, but with the intention of presenting a bright red handprint.
“……”
Naturally, Gil Taeseo didn’t allow himself to be hit even once by the floundering clumsy hand. He didn’t know where such agility came from in that large body.
The way he shifted his body sideways and dodged this way and that so smoothly was annoying to death. No, he couldn’t die. Hadn’t he already endured a mountain of humiliation under the belief that even rolling in a shit field, this life was better? He’d correct himself. It was ‘annoying enough to kill.’
It was a limited space anyway. The space where he’d laid out blankets trying to somehow avoid the ice-cold floor was even narrower. But the problem, if it was a problem, was that Saehyeon was lying down holding the child who’d barely fallen asleep, while Gil Taeseo was freely leaning against the wall.
“It’s troublesome if you try to molest me in the middle of the night.”
That infuriating voice was still the same.
“Molest, what!”
He couldn’t help but flare up at those words. Molest. That was a word suited to the actions Gil Taeseo usually did to him. Hadn’t he clung without warning and groped and made advances? Compared to that, the determination to draw attention or pay back double was very pure.
“It’s a much healthier and constructive subject, you know? What the hell do you take me for.”
What he was trying to say was the same. Saehyeon, who’d raised his voice, checked inside his arms as if pricked by guilt. Fortunately, the child was still lost in sweet dreams. With cheeks where tears had dried, holding onto Saehyeon’s clothes. Seeing that sight, one corner of his heart stung again for no reason. It was a strange sensation.
Saehyeon actually hadn’t really imagined the concept of ‘his own child.’ He’d thought that someday he might have his own family, but that was all. It hadn’t developed concretely from there. Would it be at the level of what’s commonly said and swallowed as a joke—a fox-like spouse and rabbit-like children?
‘Who would’ve thought I’d directly give birth to a child myself.’
Moreover, giving birth to a child himself was truly something he hadn’t anticipated.
His rolling eyes reached Gil Taeseo, who was leaning against the dim shadows with his arms crossed, looking this way.
‘And why is it a bear instead of a fox.’
The more he thought about it, the situation was truly coincidental and strange. Where did the rabbit-like spouse in his smoothly progressing life plan go? And why was such a wild bear-like bastard attached there?
Of course, the ‘bear’ mentioned here wasn’t a bear in the sense of being easygoing. It was the house-sized and persistent wild bear that appears in the sentence ‘bears tear people apart.’
Saehyeon shook his head vigorously. He hadn’t been trying to compare Gil Taeseo to a spouse. He’d just recalled that he was the child’s biological… whatchamacallit.
“That… about Taesol.”
Last night’s events left quite a deep impression on Saehyeon. Because he hadn’t even had the thought that the child would need him that much.
That was natural, since he himself was like that. Of course, there was a desire to be recognized, but that desire had never been properly satisfied. His childhood had only been a time of tanning himself to become a not-too-bad child.
Looking back, Saehyeon had always been lonely. He was sad, had a hard time, and wanted to cry. But just because he was like that didn’t make it a normal thing. Even if it was normal, he didn’t want to pass it on to Taesol either.
Of course, he wouldn’t pressure the child about his traits or temperament. He had such thoughts too. If he filled in the gaps from now on, couldn’t this child grow into a much better adult? Not a shabby-looking, substandard adult like himself.
“Don’t you think we need a more proper guardian?”
He didn’t wish for a perfect guardian. That was impossible to begin with. Right now, he was someone who didn’t even properly know the definition and role of parents, barely managing while struggling with his own body and memory.
Still, he wanted to try. He had to try. Honestly, it still didn’t feel quite real, but… anyway, Taesol’s daddy was himself.
‘Even if not a child, at least a parent.’
Being a proper child had already failed spectacularly. Being a parent couldn’t be easy either.
On top of that, Gil Taeseo was the child’s biological whatchamacallit, and before he knew it, it seemed the child was subtly opening his heart to Gil Taeseo.
Recognizing his absence, hadn’t he cleverly called Gil Taeseo? It was the same when washing in the bathroom. Aspects of Taesol that he himself had never seen would occasionally slip out in front of the man.
When he put together such elements. Saehyeon could reach one conclusion. This was a collaborative project. Like the three-legged race he’d done with Gil Taeseo in high school for prize money.
Though they’d gotten so frustrated they’d even burst each other’s lips with fists. Anyway, they’d coordinated in the end and got the prize money, so all was well.
Though the time and weight required for this couldn’t even be compared to back then.
“So. Are you saying we should send him off for adoption or something? If you’re thinking of spouting such fucked-up nonsense, forget it.”
A brief silence followed according to his chain of thoughts. Gil Taeseo, who’d been just listening with his head tilted in a ‘let’s see how far this goes’ feeling, opened his mouth. He still had his arms crossed as if he didn’t like being touched.
Saehyeon was naturally horrified. He even unconsciously hugged the child tighter.
“What? Are you crazy?”
“If not, then fine.”
He didn’t know which part of this conversation adoption had popped out from. When he mulled it over carefully, there was one thing that caught his attention. The words about needing parents. It seemed he’d understood that to mean sending the kid somewhere.
“Then, what are you trying to say?”
Even Saehyeon’s lips, which were about to protest with various things, went limp before that.
“Just… even if this side doesn’t know, let’s try harder and do better on that side. That, well, for the kid, you… and I are the guardians.”
It couldn’t be helped since he wasn’t an AI whose database updates immediately upon resolution.
“When before you said it wasn’t your kid.”
“Shut… Be quiet.”
So that’s why he’d kept his mouth shut for a moment. It seemed he’d saved it up for now. This was the excuse Saehyeon had inadvertently picked up and swallowed on the day Gil Taeseo first caught him with Taesol.
Taesol looked exactly like the man, and the man’s face was definitely not the type you could commonly see. Both he and the other person knew it was an absurd excuse. Bringing that up must definitely just be because he wanted to pick a fight.
‘But it is a bit fascinating.’
On that day, he’d definitely been desperate to hide Taesol’s identity from Gil Taeseo. Even knowing it wouldn’t work, he’d somehow been frantic.
Thinking about it now, Saehyeon back then had perceived everything as a threat. That naturally included Gil Taeseo too. The 28-year-old Gil Taeseo was clearly wrapped in a menacing atmosphere, someone who might possibly hold a grudge against this side. He was an absolute superior.
But now it was a bit different. He felt one corner of his heart changing. He came to think he wanted to change. At least regarding the child.
Just as Saehyeon had picked out several emotions from Gil Taeseo’s gaze looking at him, Gil Taeseo also seemed to have read something similarly. The dimple scarred like a wound swelled up, and the man tossed out his words.
“Do you want to say such things to a bastard like me?”
At the unexpected words, Saehyeon’s eyes widened slightly.
